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Family

Husband leaves a sink full of dirty dishes. But one simple action changes its meaning.

Small gestures can speak volumes.

marriage, husbands of tiktok, communication, relationships
@susandoingsusanthings/TikTok

Though this image might infuriate you, know there's more to the story.

We’ve probably all (especially moms and wives) have had it up to here with stories of men not being able to really pull their weight in partnerships.

So when I present to you a story about a husband leaving behind a sink full of dirty dishes for his wife to find, you’d probably sooner roll your eyes and contemplate hopping over to Instagram instead than give this one a read.

But hold on just a second, because this story has a surprising hopeful twist.


In a now-viral TikTok post, a wife named Susan shows the mess she woke up to the morning after her husband had friends over to watch a game.

She was initially fuming as she approached the disarray. That is, until she saw the note her husband left behind, saying “I got it!”

For Susan, this changed everything. Her husband acknowledged his mess, communicated that awareness with his wife, and didn’t leave it assuming someone else would take care of it. Which, in turn, made her feel seen and looked out for.

“I just love that he acknowledges that [he] left a mess in the sink, and don't worry, he'll take responsibility for it, but anyways, we've come so far,” Susan says in the clip.

@susandoingsusanthings Leaving a simple note instantly made me not care about the dishes in the sink!! I love communication and we have come so far!! #susandoingsusanthings #marriedlife #marriage #marriagehumor #marriagegoals #marriagecomedy #marriagelife ♬ original sound - SusanDoingSusanThings

Many viewers agreed that this small shift made a world of difference.

“I love this. Like he was tired and didn’t want to do it but knows you shouldn’t have to. What ace communication and all it took was a post-it” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “It’s that easy!!! Like do I want to do the dishes after hosting? Heck no. Let me sleep and I’ll do it in the morning. But the note changes it ALL 🥰.”

On the other hand, many people were still left frustrated, arguing that expectations were still far too low if this simple gesture is receiving such applause.

One person even lamented, “That big sigh and you’ve come so far, I wonder how many fights it took 😫,” to which Susan replied, “We’ve been together for 20 years… Fight = growth.”

She also reiterated that the purpose of the post was to show in real-time how healthy, thoughtful communication between partners can help transform even the most menial task into a positive, even relationship-fortifying, experience.

And that is probably the biggest, most beneficial takeaway to lean into here. Ongoing communication difficulties is listed as the number one cause of divorce, even beating out infidelity. Yes, of course, moms are tired of being the default parents and wives are tired of pulling double duty, but if this story is any indicator, they are also yearning for their partners to meet them halfway on the communication front as well.

And as we can see, even the smallest gestures make big impacts.

In case anyone was wondering: Susan's husband did do the dishes the next day ❤️


This article originally appeared on 1.6.24

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)


“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.


This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

Americans shocked British people don't rinse soap off dishes

Not at all to anyone's surprise, there is a difference between the way Americans do things and the way the British do things. Since platforms like TikTok have made it easy to feel like you're having face-to-face conversations with people in different parts of the word, it's no wonder that these differences can sometimes be magnified.

For a while there was a spat online because some Americans took to social media to spill their revelation of beans on toast. Of course it quickly turned into people joking about beans on toast because it's not something that is part of American culture. This set off a firestorm of back and forth commentary of British cuisine versus American cuisine with each arguing their country's food is superior.

This same thing happened when the British social media users discovered southern Americans eat biscuits and gravy, and iced tea is a standard beverage. Cultural differences can be fun to discover as long as everyone remains respectful, but this discovery probably trumps them all. Supposedly, British people don't rinse off their dishes when handwashing them and American social media users are having an entire come apart.


It's not clear where the claim originated but it quickly spread across social media as confused British people asked why Americans were confused. Someone created a skit showing two guys in the kitchen, one with a clearly British accent and one with a different accent. The British roommate was washing the dishes and skipping the rinsing before putting them in the dish rack to the dismay of the other person. People have been responding to the video confused on both sides–Americans confused about the lack of rinsing and Brits confused about the need to rinse.

person washing hand on faucet Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Jase from the TikTok account, Jase in America made a video responding to the tags he was getting, "Okay so for some strange reason a lot of Americans have been tagging me in videos about washing dishes in the UK." The man then demonstrates how he washes the dishes which includes the usual steps, filling up the sink with water and adding dish soap. After he places a bowl in the soapy water and scrubs it with a sponge, he then simply places it still fully soapy in the dish rack.

He repeats the process with other dishes before asking if he's missing something because he doesn't understand "what's so different in America."

Another man from the UK that goes by the name Goonie Dad shared a video of him washing dishes and is shocked by the reaction, "this is how I wash up and this is how I've always washed up, I've never known any different and in the last 72 hours it seems like 99% of the world rise their dishes."

There's even a video from 2022 that presumably shows someone teasing about people in the UK not rinsing their dishes. But according to a couple of British creators, they rinse their dishes after soaping them up and aren't sure why some are saying they don't. Maybe it's a weirdly specific joke that British creators are pulling on Americans, either way, American creators have concerns while others joke about spices.

"Ok, I finally get it...the British DO use a spice........dishwashing liquid," one person exclaims.

Another flat out asks if the British are pulling Americans' legs, "Guys, are we being pranked??? Cause no way they see all those bubbles and just...ignore it."

Some commenters consulted with each other with one writing, "I was convinced this was an elaborate prank the British TikTok creators were playing on us, but if that's true then my bestie in London is in on the bit because he confirmed." An American living in England concurred, "Texan in England, can confirm I've seen quite a few Brits wash like this. I've taken over washing dishes, my husband is not allowed to wash my dishes anymore," she laughs.

A few people couldn't contain their concern, "It’s dirty, soapy, dishwater. Why wouldn’t you want to rinse off dirty water?" While another says, "guys, please rinse. you're eating soap."

Even people outside of America chimed in imploring the British creators to rinse their dishes after washing them explaining how they wash them in their own respective countries, "in Indonesia even before we use the plate, we rinse it again."

"In Greece, when we wash the dishes, we don't leave them with the soaps, we rinse them," someone shares while another concerned international commenter writes, "In România we pre rinse if it's necessary, wash it thoroughly every side, and then rinse it down, and put it to dry."

Giphy

"In Nigeria we pre rinse(rinse off particles and oil in the plate) wash with soap and rinse with clean water and continue rinsing until it’s no longer slippery, which can make us rinse 2 times," someone else writes.

Well, while a few British people have said they personally rinse their dishes, it's clear not everyone got that memo in the UK or this is the most elaborate multi-year prank ever. If that's the case that takes some serious dedication.

Identity

13 side-by-side portraits of people over 100 with their younger selves

These powerful before-and-after photos reveal just how beautiful aging can be.

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time.

In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.



1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101

All photos by Jan Langer.

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.

2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.

3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.

4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.

5. Marie Fejfarová, at age 101

Fejfarová burned all her material memories, including old photographs, when she decided to move to a long-term care facility. She lived a dramatic life, hiding from the Nazis and then the Russians, but eventually she was able to travel the world with her husband. Her experiences show there's no such thing as too late in life to start a new chapter.

6. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.

7. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

8. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.

9. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.

10. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.

11. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.

12. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.

13. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.

The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2010 U.S. Census reported only 53,364 centenarians, which is only 0.19% of the population of people 70 years or older.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.


This article originally appeared on 12.08.17.



This company wants to make coffee better for the planet and your health

Lifeboost Coffee makes delicious low-acid coffees that are sustainably grown and ethically sourced.

For many of us, coffee is more than just a beverage—it's a cherished ritual that marks the beginning of our day, a moment of calm before the bustle, or a spark of energy when we need it most. It’s in these moments, cup in hand, that we set the tone for the hours ahead. But have you ever considered how the coffee you choose could impact not just your day, but also your health and the world around you? For example, sustainably sourced coffees can help protect ecosystems and support ethical farming practices. Meanwhile, low-acid coffees can be gentler on your stomach and teeth, reducing discomfort for those with sensitivities. Luckily, Lifeboost Coffee understands the huge impact coffee can have. That’s why they specialize in low-acid, and environmentally responsible coffee that not only enhances your daily ritual but also contributes to a healthier you and a healthier world.

Choose coffee that’s better for you

When it comes to coffee, what you drink matters—especially if you have a sensitive stomach. Lifeboost Coffee’s low-acid beans are a game changer for those prone to acid reflux or other digestive issues. By carefully selecting and processing these beans to reduce acidity, Lifeboost ensures you can enjoy a smooth, flavorful cup without the discomfort that often accompanies higher-acid coffees. And Acidity isn’t the only thing Lifeboost Coffee gets rid of. They also subject every batch to rigorous third-party testing for over 450 potential contaminants, including toxins, molds, and heavy metals. This commitment to purity ensures that you’re drinking one of the cleanest coffees available.

But Lifeboost coffees don’t just subtract bad stuff. They also preserve a lot of good stuff. Because their beans are organically grown at high elevations, they mature naturally. They are then sun-dried and washed with pure spring water. This careful process preserves the beans’ rich nutrients and flavors, resulting in coffee that’s as good for your health as it is for your taste buds.

Choose coffee that’s ethical and sustainable

Lifeboost Coffee is committed to ethical sourcing, starting with their use of single-origin beans. This approach ensures that each batch of coffee comes from a specific region or farm, which not only enhances the consistency and quality of the coffee but also helps avoid cross-contamination with inferior beans. Supporting single-origin coffee is more than just a quality measure; it’s also about empowering small-scale farmers who are passionate about their craft, ensuring they receive fair compensation for their work.

Sustainability is at the core of Lifeboost’s farming practices. Their coffee is shade-grown, which means it’s cultivated under the natural canopy of trees. This method not only protects biodiversity by preserving native flora and fauna but also enhances the quality of the beans, as they mature more slowly and develop richer flavors. Moreover, Lifeboost is committed to Fairly Traded principles, ensuring that farmers are paid fairly and that their communities thrive. By choosing Lifeboost Coffee, you’re supporting sustainable agriculture and ethical practices that make a positive impact on both people and the planet.

Say hello to Lifeboost Grata Medium Roast

Ready to start exploring Lifeboost Coffee? Their Grata Medium Roast is the perfect jumping off point. This roast is known for its smooth and balanced taste, making it an ideal choice for coffee lovers who appreciate complexity without overwhelming intensity. With every sip, you’ll notice delightful notes of chocolate and nuts, accompanied by a subtle hint of dried fruit. This flavor profile is the result of meticulous roasting, designed to bring out the natural sweetness and depth of the beans.

Beyond its exquisite taste, Grata Medium Roast is incredibly versatile. Whether you prefer a pour-over, cold brew, French press, or a classic drip, this roast adapts beautifully to any brewing method, ensuring a consistently enjoyable experience no matter how you like your coffee. But even if you end up not liking Grata Medium Roast, don’t worry. Lifeboost has a “Love Your Coffee” guarantee. Basically, if you’re not completely thrilled with your purchase, they will work with you to find the perfect roast or offer a full refund.

Make a difference with every sip

If you want to make a positive impact on the world, why not start at the beginning, with your morning ritual? Every purchase of Lifeboost Coffees helps support small-scale farmers and protect precious ecosystems. And because their coffees are low-acid and tested for harmful chemicals, they are as gentle to the environment as they are to your stomach.

So visit the Lifeboost Coffee website today, check out their ongoing rewards program, and start exploring how you can elevate your coffee experience today.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Getting together as adults can be…tricky.

When you're a kid, friendships just sort of happen. The kids in your neighborhood, school, place of worship, sports or other activities are the pool of kids you pull friends from, and friendship in childhood mostly revolves around sharing common interests and having fun playing together. As you move to the teen years, friendship becomes more about "hanging out" and bonding over emotional things, and then adulthood comes along and throws the whole concept of friendship all out of whack.

As you become entrenched in career and family and full-on-grown-up responsibilities, friendships can be harder to maintain, at least in the way we're used to. Time becomes a trickier commodity to manage, and what friendship looks like changes. That's not good or bad, it just…is.

Comedian Jake Lambert hit the nail on the head with a bit about various realities of modern adult friendship, pointing to relatable friendship norms such as:


Not really knowing what your friend does for work:

"What's my best friend's job? Something to do with numbers…I once heard them use the phrase 'project manager.'"

"No, I don't know exactly what they do for work, but I do know about every single one of their colleagues, who they hate and who's sleeping with who."

What forms the basis of adult friendship:

"Are we friends because we like the same things? No, we're not children! We're friends because we hate the same things."

The reality of rarely getting together:

"Oh we hang out all the time. What is it now, September? Well the last time I saw them was…I wanna say June? But we talk every day. I mean, not on the phone, on WhatsApp. I mean, not on WhatsApp, but we send each other memes on Instagram. But we message properly as well. Like we'll message to say we need to catch up soon, and then we do catch up, within about two or three months."

Unannounced visits? No thanks. Unannounced phone calls? Also no.

"Would I turn up at their house unannounced? No, not unless I wanted to give them a panic attack and completely ruin their day. I mean, I wouldn't even call them without a text to warn them first. You know, that's real friendship."

People totally related and added their own friendship realities to the mix in the comments:

"Say what you will but not talking to a person for months and picking up like you never stopped talking when you finally get together is a new level of friendship unlocked 🙌❤️🤣😂"

"Texting to warn them before calling is friendship!!!!!!!!!! It is!!!!!!💯"

"I wouldn’t even call them without a text to warn them first is my love language."

"Also, you have known each other for 10 years and have 3 photos together."

"The shame of how accurate this is 😂😂😂😂😂😂"

Adult friendships may be challenging to maintain fully, but they're still valuable and research shows that we may be missing out on some of their benefits. According to one analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s "American Time Use Survey" Americans are spending significantly less time with friends—and more time alone—than we did a decade ago. From 2014 to 2019, the time we spent with friends dropped by 37%. Then the pandemic hit, and we all know how that turned our social lives upside down. The most recent data, from 2021, showed even more of a drop in friend time, from a little over 4 hours a week in 2019 to a little less than 3 hours a week in 2021.

Spending time alone doesn't automatically mean feeling lonely—some people genuinely prefer to spend time by themselves—but humans are social creatures in general and research shows we are facing an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. A few reasons might be how increasingly online our lives have become, how anxious and exhausted many of us feel, and the connections that got disrupted during the pandemic. Whatever the reason, a whole lot of people are lonely these days.

Nurturing friendships in-real-life could be a way to counter that. Focus on quality over quantity. You don't have to have a ton of close friends—focus on the ones you share similar values with and who bring out the best in you. Even if you don't have time to get together often, check in regularly with more than just a meme. Even a simple, "Hey, I'm thinking about you and wondering how you're doing," can go a long way. Scheduling get-togethers on a monthly basis (a first-Saturday-of-the-month set coffee date or something) can make it easier to see one another rather than always trying to coordinate schedules. Long-distance friendships can be trickier, but we do have loads of technology to communicate long-distance and don't underestimate those "We need to plan a get-together" messages. Acknowledging that you miss one another and want to see each other despite the difficulty of actually making it happen means something.

Friendships as adults may have some comical quirks, but they're still important to our well-being and life enrichment. Keep sending those memes and get together when you can. You'll rarely regret making the effort.

You can find more from Jake Lambert on his Instagram page here.