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How it feels to navigate a gym locker room when you're transgender.

People like me don't often feel welcomed. Let's change that.

Here's the thing about locker rooms: I avoid them whenever humanly possible.

I go out of my way to steer clear, heading into the gym wearing exactly what I plan to work out in and carrying nothing else with me. This means that, yes, there are days where the temperature is in the 20s or 30s, and I'll venture out without my coat as a way to avoid locker rooms.

On days where I absolutely have to use them, I do whatever I can to get in and out of the locker room as quickly and quietly as I can.

Here are my four stages of locker room interaction:

1. Two steps into the room, there's a coat hook. That's my go-to.

2. Immediately to the left is a row of (usually) empty lockers. That's my reluctant second.

3. If that row is full, I carry my belongings with me as I work out.

4. If that's too cumbersome, I just go home without working out.

This is my gym. As you can see, I do my best to go when I think the fewest people will be here.

It sounds bizarre, right? But ... one thing you may or may not know about me is that I'm transgender.

I'm pretty open about it, but it's not as though I wear a sign around my neck informing the general public — the vast majority of the time, strangers don't know. My life just is what it is: pretty boring.

But yes, being transgender is part of why I avoid locker rooms.

Here's me after a workout.

I've never put on or taken off an article of clothing in my gym's locker room nor do I plan on it anytime soon.

And I've never actually seen anybody else in there at the same time as me. But, I can't help it — during those few seconds I plan out so carefully, my anxiety rules over me — because I'm afraid.

Fully clothed, just two steps inside the door, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of anybody else stepping through that door.

I'm afraid of being yelled at.

I'm afraid of being asked whether I'm in the wrong room.

I'm afraid I'll be physically harmed.

Now, it's not as though those thoughts are especially logical, but I guess it doesn't matter. Anxiety and fear don't follow rules of logic.

I know for certain that many other trans people have similar feelings about bathrooms and locker rooms. I have friends who've cancelled gym memberships out of fear. I have friends who avoid joining gyms out of fear. I have friends who simply live their lives in fear. If you're not transgender, these thoughts probably haven't occurred to you.

But for so many of us, these thoughts and fears can be all-consuming.

Sadly, trans women being attacked in public restrooms and locker rooms is a reality in our world.

People set on fighting against trans rights have made regulating bathroom access a concerning focal point of their agenda.

I've watched as city councils have debated the validity of my gender, and I've watched as cities have moved to ban people like me from locker rooms using the argument that it'd be letting "men" into women's locker rooms. The reality is that non-discrimination laws don't allow for men to enter women's locker rooms anyway. And in any case, I am not a man.

But the strategy of trying to legislate who can use which bathroom is based on misinformation about exactly who is helped by these types of ordinances and what they allow for.

For example, unlike what Mike Huckabee thinks, anti-discrimination laws allowing trans people to use bathrooms that match their gender identities would not have allowed him, a cisgender man, to enter the girls' locker room when he was in high school just for fun:


Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee talks about how he would have tried to abuse these laws during his teen years.

One tactic anti-trans groups use to try to roll back or block non-discrimination ordinances is sending cisgender men into women's locker rooms.

Cisgender men are men whose gender identity matches the gender they were assigned at birth. This happened just a couple weeks back, actually, when a cisgender man walked into a women's locker room, took off his shirt, and stood there until somebody complained. After being kicked out, he returned hours later, again invading the locker room while young girls were changing for swim practice.

The groups behind these anti-trans efforts are pretty open about encouraging these tactics. They terrorize women and children as a way to show their supposed concern for those same people.

It's sick, but it has absolutely nothing to do with people like me.

Trans people aren't going into locker rooms, walking around naked, and leering at others. Sick men who want to "prove a point" are. They're trying to trick you into being scared of trans people. Please don't fall for it.

Deal with them, don't let them win, and don't take it out on us.

Right now, I'm afraid, but I have hope for the future.

There's currently a bit of anti-LGBTQ backlash going on in the wake of last year's marriage equality wins (and trans people are just the easiest target to take that out on, sadly), but I've seen the public fear of gay and lesbian people shift a lot just in the past few years, and I have hope that those feelings toward trans people will pass soon too.

I have hope for a more tolerant and accepting world where people don't need to feel afraid when doing something as simple as using the bathroom or changing in a locker room. I have hope that we're all going to be OK.

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Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

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Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


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In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



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Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



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South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


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And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


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All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



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Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


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And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

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Husband calls wife's idea for their baby's name 'abusive', and other parents agree

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time."

Photo credit: Canva

A couple fighting

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid.

Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without. According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.

A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord, which arguably falls under the more "unusual" category. While she had her family's full, passionate support, her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. Seeking validation, the woman posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.

Angry Typing GIFfrom Angry GIFs

“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important. The firstborn son since the 1800's has been given this name. I'm well aware it's a stigmatized name today, so that's why I have agreed to using a short form,” the woman wrote.

Understanding that her son would be bullied for being called Gaylord, she decided that it would be his legal first name, but could go by Gail. Her family believed that it would be acceptable for him to be known as Gail initially, and could transition to being called Gaylord when he gets older and society grew more tolerant, hopefully.

“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she continued. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”

However, the father wouldn’t even consider naming his son Gaylord, or Gail, for that matter. His family went a step further and said that naming him Gaylord or Gail would be “abusive.”

Yes Man No Man GIFfrom Yes Man GIFs

"My in-laws are telling me that even Gail isn't an acceptable boy's name and that I need to 'get with the times' and choose something more appropriate," she continued. “What happened to respecting our elders and traditions? His family doesn't have any naming traditions, so it should fall to my family that does. How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?”

The commenters were overwhelmingly against the mother’s decision.

"Use your imagination. A boy named Gaylord goes to his first day of school. The teacher does the roll call. ‘GAYLORD SMITH?’ Class breaks into giggles. Embarrassed boy says, ‘It's Gail.’ Class giggles some more, since Gail is usually a girl's name. Boy has no chance of fitting in with his classmates. His fate is sealed. He is a social pariah for life. Don't do this to him. Please,” one user wrote.

"Your name is the first thing people know about you. It’s the cover page of how people perceive you. Even if you think Gaylord will just appear on the birth certificate, you’re wrong. His legal name will have to be used on official documents, at school, on his license and passport. It will appear at the top of every resume he hands out. It’s not as simple as putting a name on paper. It’s how he is going to appear to the whole world. Gaylord is totally stigmatized and has been for decades. It’s not going away, sorry." another added.

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time. Pick another name," another person wrote.

After the post went viral, the mother shared that both sides of the family have tentatively agreed on a name.

“We managed to work out that Gale Gaylord would be a reasonable compromise, with Gale being the complete first name, and Gaylord being the middle name,” the woman wrote. “My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants. Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here.”

Random Tuesday I Dont Know If Thats Better Or Worse GIFfrom Random Tuesday GIFs

Whether or not you think this name decision is a good one, we can all agree that there are so many factors to consider when choosing a name. Hopefully parents can manage all those while still enjoying the process.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


@noemoneyyy Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights ♬ sonido original - Luis Jonathan

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

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Science

Shooting stars: What happens when astronauts poop in space?

Astronauts use the atmosphere to their advantage.

via Canva/Photos

A shooting star above a winter landscape.

Astronauts must undergo extensive training before they can enter space. They have to learn spacecraft operations, survival skills, robotics, physical fitness, how to walk in space, and emergency protocols in case something goes wrong. They also need extensive training on how to use the toilet.

How do astronauts go to the bathroom in zero gravity?

Astronaut Chris Hadfield, a former commander of the International Space Station (ISS), says that astronauts must learn to recognize that the urge to go feels different in zero gravity. “How do you know when you have to poop on earth? It's actually because of the weight of the poop inside you. Tells you, hey, it's time to poop,” Hadfield says. “Well, if you're weightless, then your body's not gonna tell you it's time to poop. So you almost have to learn this new sort of fullness symptom that tells you it's time to poop.”


@_cosmic_enigma

How to poop in Space #astronauts #space #poop #iss #internationalspacestation #astronaut

Hadfield goes onto explain the rather ingenious of fans in space station toilets that mimic gravity for you. "Taking the place of gravity to pull the poop into the toilet is airflow," Hadfield explains. The fans work to suck the waste down once it leaves the body (this goes for urine as well, notes Hadfield). Though an impressive workaround, Hadfield certainly appreciates the effects of gravity after returning to Earth since it makes it a lot easier to go poop. “You're counting on gravity, cause gravity is gonna pull it away from you,” Hadfield said. “And without gravity, even when you're done pooping, the the poops just gonna stay sort of sticking to you. So we wear a rubber glove. And sometimes you have to, like, physically separate the poop from your body.”

Thank goodness for gravity.

johnson space center, space toilet, bathroom space shuttle, houston texas, space, engineering, Space Shuttle toilet on display at the Johnson Space Center in Houston.via Svobdat/Wikimedia Commons

Using air instead of water to suck waste into a space toilet makes things a lot less messy, too. You don’t want to flush your urine and feces in zero gravity. That would be a horror show. Being in space also does strange things to your poop. When astronaut Scott Kelly returned home after spending a year aboard the ISS, researchers found that his gut microbiome changed significantly from those typically found on the ground. It took a few months after Kelly’s return to Earth for his gut to return to normal.

iss, international space station, space, nasa photos, its, solar arraysThe International Space Station.via NASA/Wikimedia Commons

Where does the poop go when astronauts use the bathroom in space?

When Kelly was on the ISS, the urine was transformed into reusable water aboard the space station. The feces, for which he produced over 180 pounds during his 340-day stay in space, is collected into bags and put on a small craft that is launched into space. Much like a shooting star or meteorite, the waste eventually burns up as it reenters the atmosphere, so you don’t have to worry about astronaut poop landing on the roof of your house.

Astronauts must be cautious about when and where they use the restroom while in space, so a diaper can be a valuable asset during their mission. There’s nowhere to go on a spacewalk, so astronauts wear diapers to avoid aborting their mission if nature calls 250 miles above the Earth's surface. They also wear a diaper during takeoffs and landings because it’s too dangerous to get up and walk around the cabin.

You have to master an incredible number of skills to be able to make it into space as an astronaut. You need to know science and engineering, but also possess a good sense of self. You must learn new ways of interacting with your body, and one of the most important values you can cultivate while exploring the final frontier is humility.

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Joy

Writer shares delightful quotes from his 'mum' from before she died, and people are in love

Darby Hudson's mother had a uniquely wonder-filled perspective that has people laughing and crying.

Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

Darby Hudson's mom said the most profound things in the simplest way.

This world is filled with all kinds of people, each a mixed bag of qualities and quirks, virtues and vices. This "being human" business is complex and none of us has everything figured out, but sometimes a person comes along who's able to tap into the magical, wonder-filled side of life and express it in a way that touches people universally.

Darby Hudson's mom—hereby known as "Mum"—was one of those people, and we're all getting to know her posthumously through her delightful "Alive things Mum said to me before she died" quotes shared by Hudson. Gems like this:

"Darby, love, there's so much sadness in the world yet I'm always falling in love with the day. There's almost too much to fall in love with."

"Darby, love, I'm struggling to fit this one life into this one life. But sometimes I feel this weightless heaviness for all the lives I wish I'd lived. But then I think in all those lives I'd have still seen the same moon at night."

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, momAll of Mum's quotes begin with "Darby, love…"Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"Darby, love, sometimes I think I'm just too alive. Is there such a thing as being too alive?"

"Darby, love, there is so much beauty in the world. Also, I hope you've been keeping up with the politics in this country, terrible things are happening. Oh, look at that cloud, it looks like a pelican! Do you see it too, love?!"

"Darby, love, when you go for a walk remember to tell things you love them aloud: trees, clouds, fire hydrants. Tell all the things you love them."

"Darby, love, life is a walk in the park. But with rabid stray dogs and someone going to mug you. But on a beautiful day, of course, and that's all that matters."

Some of the quotes are breathtakingly beautiful snippets of reflective wisdom, like "Darby, love, everything you need is inside of you. How do you look inside of you? When you no longer have a choice." And some of them are a whole different kind of wisdom, such as: "Darby, love, never apologise then fart."

Hudson tells Upworthy that his mom loved books, especially mythology, poetry, and the classics. She had been a librarian, a high school teacher, and then a barrister (a lawyer, for the Americans reading).

"She was a bit of a dreamer yet strangely operated in the brutal world of logic," Hudson says, adding, "Barristers need to turn sentences into a form of algebra to be able to argue." He thinks her being Irish helped her in that work.

Like many people who shine brightly, Hudson's mom could also fall into deep despair. As their relationship grew closer in adulthood, Hudson learned how he could tap into her bright side to help pull her from the darkness.

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, mom"See which emotion wins."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"She lived like a bit of a hermit and a local eccentric into her old age," he tells Upworthy. "She was a little sideways and taught me a lot about how to view the world and we often completed each others' thoughts. Later in life, I felt like she was less my mum and more my 'sister' and that's when our relationship got a lot better! As long as I could lure her into a sense of play, she would move from her darkness and hopeless view of the world and into a sense of magic. We all have those two sides—one of politics and one of magic. Her magic side was beautiful!"

Hudson collected all of her quotes in a book, "DARBY, LOVE..." which he said came to him during the time between Christmas and New Year's, when "days of the week don’t exist and you could feel politics drop away and magic return." He wrote in the introduction:

"Mum was a stranger to this world – she belonged to one of magic and dreams. On her good days, she was unstoppable, pure spirit. And while her darkness was pure despair, almost out of necessity, it was countered with the most incredible light. And in these current times – a world that can feel so dark – I wanted to share mum’s brightest self.

These pages hold the truth of most of what mum did and said – but they’re also an inspired love letter to her voice, channelling and capturing the spirit of the strangest, most poetic soul I’ve ever known. Some of the most 'famous' people I’ve ever met have no followers, no audience. Mum was one. I was lucky to call her mum, even if her lingering spirit still drives me up the wall sometimes."

People have been moved by both Hudson's mum's words and his celebration of her "magic."

"Darby love, this is the single most beautiful thing I’ve encountered on my device today. I’m going to jump offline now, for fear of ruining this magic - will return tomorrow for more musings (and after I’ve told the lizards on my walk that I love them)."

"What a blessing to have a mother with such a lovely spirit, so funny yet full of wisdom. My favorite: 'Darby, love, I often get the feeling that there's something very wrong with me and then another feeling comes rushing in from behind saying there's something very right with me.' That says it all about her personality 💜✨ Thanks for sharing! She must be tremendously missed, but you're keeping her essence alive!"

"Your mum’s thoughts sound so beautiful. How often have I thought to myself 'I’m struggling to fit this one life into this one life' so perfectly stated."

"I’ve never missed anyone I’ve never met before. How bout that!"

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love"Don't let it explain the magic away."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"I am pretty sure I love your mum. These are some of the best things I’ve ever read. Being a mother myself. In my mind possibly with the same colorful, mysterious and beautiful outlook on life and hope to have my 'legacy' of expression passed down to my children 💕"

"Your mum's words are like a eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup while being held. I want to smile and cry at the same time."

"The best thing I’ve ever read in a long time. Darby, love, you got lucky with that one."

What better way to honor the unique light a loved one brought to the world than to share glimmers of their everyday brilliance? Thank you for sharing your mum's words with us, Darby. May we all take her magical whimsy and beautiful perspective on life to heart.


You can find more of Darby Hudson's work on Instagram and find his book, "DARBY, LOVE…" here.

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