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'Hi, Boss. Look, My Kid Is Sick Today. Mmmhmm, Projectile Everything. Can He Be The Store Greeter?'

The folks at MomsRising.org have created a hilarious set of cartoons that show the reality for many working families: no paid sick time off. I can already hear the comments from some: "But but but businesses can't AFFORD that!" To them I say, then they can't afford to be in business. Note, because I know there will be confusion: the entire piece below was written by the author Charlie Rose. We received permission to repost here.

'Hi, Boss. Look, My Kid Is Sick Today. Mmmhmm, Projectile Everything. Can He Be The Store Greeter?'

"Great" Alternatives To Paid Sick Days

Posted by Charlie Rose


Kids are gross. Inspiring, cuddly, lovable, yes — but also: gross. I had barely heard of things like pink eye, ringworm and foot and mouth disease until I became a mom. My kid even got scarlet fever — Oregon Trail much?

All kids get sick sometime, but nothing makes a 2 a.m. vomit session worse than the additional worry that you’ll lose your job if you can’t go in to work the next day.

Unfortunately, that nightmare is a reality for far too many people in the United States. In fact, today, 40% of all workers and 80% of low-wage workers cannot earn even a single paid sick day to care for themselves or a sick kid.

Fortunately, we’ve come up with some GREAT alternatives to paid sick days. Why stay home to care for a sick little one when you can…

1. Take 'em to Congress or City Hall!

1. Take 'em to Congress or City Hall!

I especially recommend this plan for states like Florida and Pennsylvania where some legislators actually want it to be illegal for cities within the state to pass laws that guarantee sick leave.

2. Hide 'em under your desk!

2. Hide 'em under your desk!

True story! At MomsRising.org, we receive tons of stories from moms and dads across the country who’ve had to take their sick kids to work with them. And since your darling vomiting babe will likely get you sick too, you’ll have an impressive pile of tissues to hide them with! Bonus!

3. Don’t get sick. Ever.

3. Don't get sick. Ever.

If you do get sick you can break out a haz-mat suit to keep it from your kids. In fact, you should probably wear one all the time.

We all know a supportive partner can make all the difference, but since pretty much no one can afford to have a parent stay home full time, a supportive partner might end up being thrown under the “sick day bus” by having to stay home even when they can’t afford to, which brings us to idea #4….

4. Win the chance to go to work.

4. Win the chance to go to work.

If “Rock, Paper, Scissors” won’t fly, you can always try shouting “Not it!” or “Nose goes.”

You might even be lucky to have a supportive job that has emergency child care for sick kids. LOL, just kidding, but I hear Craigslist has great babysitters. If not you can always…

5. Hire a lion to babysit!

5. Hire a lion to babysit!

*If for some reason none of these horrible ideas appeal to you, there is one more thing you could try…

*If for some reason none of these horrible ideas appeal to you, there is one more thing you could try...

MomsRising is working with folks in cities across the country to organize for paid sick days — and we’re WINNING! Seven cities and one state have earned paid sick days for most workers, and dozens of other campaigns are in the works, including a campaign for a national standard! Join us in the fight for paid sick days here!

* * * * *

Charlie Rose is a fellow with MomsRising.org, a national organization with over a million members advocating for family economic security.

Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash
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This story was originally shared on Capital One.

Inside the walls of her kitchen at her childhood home in Guatemala, Evelyn Klohr, the founder of a Washington, D.C.-area bakery called Kakeshionista, was taught a lesson that remains central to her business operations today.

"Baking cakes gave me the confidence to believe in my own brand and now I put my heart into giving my customers something they'll enjoy eating," Klohr said.

While driven to launch her own baking business, pursuing a dream in the culinary arts was economically challenging for Klohr. In the United States, culinary schools can open doors to future careers, but the cost of entry can be upwards of $36,000 a year.

Through a friend, Klohr learned about La Cocina VA, a nonprofit dedicated to providing job training and entrepreneurship development services at a training facility in the Washington, D.C-area.

La Cocina VA's, which translates to "the kitchen" in Spanish, offers its Bilingual Culinary Training program to prepare low-and moderate-income individuals from diverse backgrounds to launch careers in the food industry.

That program gave Klohr the ability to fully immerse herself in the baking industry within a professional kitchen facility and receive training in an array of subjects including culinary skills, food safety, career development and English language classes.

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Vanna White appeared on "The Price Is Right" in 1980.

Vanna White has been a household name in the United States for decades, which is kind of hilarious when you consider how she gained her fame and fortune. Since 1982, the former model and actress has made millions walking back and forth turning letters (and later simply touching them—yay technology) on the game show "Wheel of Fortune."

That's it. Walking back and forth in a pretty evening gown, flipping letters and clapping for contestants. More on that job in a minute…

As a member of Gen X, television game shows like "Wheel of Fortune" and "The Price is Right" send me straight back to my childhood. Watching this clip from 1980 of Vanna White competing on "The Price is Right" two years before she started turning letters on "Wheel of Fortune" is like stepping into a time machine. Bob Barker's voice, the theme music, the sound effects—I swear I'm home from school sick, lying on the ugly flowered couch with my mom checking my forehead and bringing me Tang.

This video has it all: the early '80s hairstyles, a fresh-faced Vanna White and Bob Barker's casual sexism that would never in a million years fly today.

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