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Her baby had a secret. She learned it on the day she died.

Congenital heart defects are the most common birth defect, affecting 1 in 110 babies. Many of them don't show up on an ultrasound. Pulse ox screening could help doctors discover and repair heart defects before they turn deadly. Sounds like a good idea to me. Warning: This is the tragic story of a baby who died. It includes an image of her shortly before her death.

Her baby had a secret. She learned it on the day she died.

This article originally appeared on 02.07.15

Taryn looked perfectly healthy when her parents brought her home. She was growing — thriving, even.

Then one day, the baby made a strange sound. Her breathing became difficult. Her mom called 911 and started CPR.

Taryn died that night in the hospital. She had a heart defect, but no one had thought to check her heart before it stopped working.

Less than 50% of congenital heart defects are diagnosed before birth.

A baby who appears healthy might have a heart that is moments away from stopping.

Luckily, there is a simple, inexpensive, and non-invasive screening called pulse oximetry.

A pulse oximeter shines a red light through the baby's toe, and reports the oxygen levels in the blood. Low levels are cause for further investigation. Practically all hospitals have pulse oximeters on hand.

In 2011, New Jersey became the first state to require pulse ox screening as part of the standard tests a newborn receives. As a result of this screening, over the following three years, 13 babies were diagnosed with a heart defect that could have been fatal if left undetected.

Since 2011, many states have added pulse ox to their newborn screening protocol. Here's a handy map to see if yours is one of them. If you live in one of the seven states that doesn't have a law requiring it, pulse ox should still be available to you in most hospitals. Ask your doctor.

If a law like this could save families from preventable heartbreak at minimal cost, it seems like common sense to me.

Feb. 7-14, 2015, is Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week.

I don't want you to freak anyone out, but could you maybe spread the awareness by sharing this? You never know whose life you could be saving.

Warning: The auto-generated captions on this video are awful and in some cases upsetting. Upworthy neither makes them nor has the ability to control them. However, if you scroll down below the video and click "Show Transcript," you'll see an Upworthy-created version that is much better.

Woman gives stray cat the most Gen X name ever, and her friend can't stand it

As if?

via Canva/Photos

A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”

When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.

The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.

It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

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A Palestinian and a Jewish stranger are showing people what a civilized conversation looks like

"I believe and I hope."

Photo by Farrinni on Unsplash

Two hands reach toward one another.

We live in challenging times, made even more divisive by social media rage. This is not to say that the rage is always uncalled for or unneeded, as there are many moments in history where even anger is righteous. But far more powerful in these times are the surprising moments of real connection, communication and understanding, like a recent exchange between a Palestinian and a Jewish stranger that shattered negative stereotypes and expectations.

I, like many, have become addicted to the algorithm, often fueled by propaganda, false narratives, and plain myopic anger. We are all, by nature, tribal ,and so many of our hearts have swelled with fear, sorrow, and an existential angst around the idea that humans simply might not be fixable.

earth, space, humans, water, peace A photo of Earth from space. Photo by NASA on Unsplash

But I've noticed lately that I'm getting a stronger dopamine rush from reading supportive and kind comments as opposed to the hate-fueled ones. I stumbled upon a post on Threads from last year just before the Jewish New Year, (Rosh Hashana) which really struck me. A man wrote:

"As a Palestinian, like many of my Jewish and Arab friends, this year has been a heavy one. Nonetheless, I believe and I hope."

"A Jewish friend once shared a verse (from the Pirkei Avot) with me that I've saved and held on to: 'The world is sustained by three things: by truth, by justice, and by peace.'"

"It has been especially poignant as a mantra all year."

"To my Jewish friends, L'Shanah Tovah. May a new year bring love, light, healing, and a sense of peace grounded in truth and justice for all."

Threads, Jewish, Palestinian, Israeli, peace A person on Threads shares a sentiment. Threads, Mohu

Having read this, I find myself constantly searching for like-minded people of all races, religions, and political affiliations who would also like to find a soft space nestled in this chaos. I scour social media sites and have found that often when you search, you find. It doesn't mean that there aren't literal and metaphorical fires burning all around us. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't stay informed and stand up for what we believe.

But, if just for a day, we could focus on these tiny victories, perhaps it's the smallest step to regaining our humanity. I happened upon a conversation last week (also on Threads) wherein a Palestinian woman made a comment about having pride in her heritage. Many nasty Islamophobic and anti-Semitic bots and trolls came out of the woodwork, but one comment stood out.

The OP wrote:

"All I said in my last post is 'I love being Palestinian' and the comments speak for themselves. We can’t love our heritage? Our culture? That’s too much for you (clown emoji)."

In response, someone wrote back:

"I’m Jewish. We probably disagree on lots, but to hell with those comments. You’re a human being deserving of respect, and to be proud of your culture and heritage."

The OP answered:

"Thank you for being rational. May we find a common middle ground one day."

This is met with:

"Hopefully in our lifetime! Don’t let the uneducated people bring you down."

flower, peace, nature, kindness, earth A purple flower surrounded by green leaves. Photo by Konrad Koller on Unsplash

A Threader pointed out, "This is one of the more mature comments I’ve seen. So much hate on these threads. Thank you for being a human being." The kindness began to multiply, with another person sharing, "That’s so true. I started a dialogue with a Jewish man and I would like to think we both learned a lot. You can’t understand how other people think and behave without respectful debates."

There are many more threads like this out there between people from every side of the proverbial chasm. They don't take away the pain and fear, but they could serve as a step in the right direction.

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kindness of strangers

Non-Americans share 15 things that left them utterly bewildered when they visited America

The way we just scrape our food into the sink after meals.

Derek Wolfgram/Flickr & Canva Photos

People are sharing the weirdest things that are considered normal in America.

For better or worse, it's easy for all of us to find ourselves in a bubble. We're surrounded by a certain way of thinking, a certain lifestyle, and a certain perspective on cultural norms. We can get caught up in thinking that people outside of our little bubble are weird, or different, and that the strange ways they might do things are flat out wrong or bizarre. This is especially common in the United States. The world, in a lot of ways, is America-centric. Most anywhere we go, people will speak English, accept our currency, and know who Taylor Swift is.

But the truth is that there's a big wide world out there, full of vastly different cultures and ways of life! And have we ever stopped to think... maybe we're the weird ones?

A recent thread on Reddit posed the question: "What is something Americans consider normal, but people from other countries find it disturbing?"

Here are the best responses on things that are normal in the U.S. but considered strange, shocking, horrifying, or just plain weird elsewhere.

1. Portion sizes

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrants, large portion sizes American portion sizes are colossal.Canva Photos

"The portion thing always makes me laugh now since I learned Europeans apparently dont do leftovers from restaurants. I get that if you're used to a restaurant portion being something you always eat all of in one sitting our portions probably seem ridiculous. ... As a big dude who eats a ton just to live, I'm glad our portions are what they are," one user wrote.

2. Garbage disposals in kitchen sinks

"Yeah, it’s wild how normal they seem here, but elsewhere they’re seen as loud, dangerous, or just plain weird," someone commented.

"They also seem to think we dump large amounts of food waste down them when they’re just meant for small scraps," a user added.

Garbage disposals, indeed, are not often found outside of the United States. In fact, they're outright banned in many European countries. The thinking is that encouraging people to scrape leftover food down the drain places additional stress on the sewage system and harms the environment.

3. Prices don't include tax

Foreigners think it's weird when they come to America and a 99 cent item ends up costing $1.06. Differing sales tax across state lines is partly to blame, but users in the thread were convinced that's only an excuse:

"If the cash register knows the price, then the price sticker machine can be set with the same price. It's really that simple," someone wrote.

4. Gaps between restroom stall doors

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrants, bathrooms, bathroom stalls, privacy American public restrooms aren't very private.Canva Photos

Visitors from Europe are used to public restroom stalls that are almost completely enclosed. In America, for some strange reason, we love leaving gigantic gaps between the edges of the door, the floor, and the ceiling. Why? There are a few reasons: It's easier to mop under the stalls this way, and less privacy means it's harder for folks to get away with doing sketchy things in the stalls. But either way, a lot of people don't like it.

"I once cried during a layover in the US because I needed to empty my menstrual cup after 12+ hours of traveling, and you could literally just see into every stall. Plus I need to squat down to do it, and the doors ended at my knees. A random lady saw me panicking and when I said the stalls weren't private enough, she said "awwwwe, are you European?"

5. So. many. commercials.

"I had a British friend ask why were there so many commercials during an episode of Family Guy," one user wrote.

"And the content of those commercials. Apparently it's only American doctors who need their patients to ask about some amazing new medication that has crazy side effects," another added.

6. We get healthcare through our jobs

It always struck me as funny that a country that supposedly loves entrepreneurs and small business owners makes it so incredibly dangerous to leave your job for any reason. It's even more shocking to people from, well, almost any other developed country.

"This job pays like shit and I hate it, but if I quit my essential medication won't be covered until I get hired somewhere else, so I can't risk it!" one user joked.

7. Worrying about the cost of the doctor

At least a quarter of adults regularly skip necessary medical care because they're worried about how much it costs. Visitors from abroad are utterly horrified by the thought of having to consider whether potentially life-saving procedures fit the budget.

8. Cashiers don't sit down

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, americans, europeans, americans abroad, tourists, immigrants, cashiers Cashiers in America stand all shift long.Canva Photos

People who work the cash register generally sit down in most parts of the world, including Europe. It's more comfortable and ergonomic, and, in fact, there's something called Right to Sit that guarantees this benefit.

In America, cashiers are often forbidden from sitting down while working, which comes as a big surprise to foreigners.

9. HOAs

HOAs exist in some parts of the world, but they are particularly intense in America. It can be a bucket of cold water for people who move here from abroad.

"A client of mine had a sick husband. He unfortunately passed away. She leaves her garbage cans out during this time and begins to get fined by the HOA everyday her cans are left out, and letters posted on her door," one user shared.

10. School children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, patriotism, pledge of allegiance America loves the Pledge of Allegiance.Canva Photos.

Some countries around the world have their own version of the Pledge of Allegiance. What's extremely rare is a democracy forcing children to recite their loyalty every morning and even face punishment if they refuse.

"Did a student exchange [in the US] when I was 17 and got detention on my first day for not saying it. I didn’t know it, but even if I did… It’s not my country! Tried so hard to politely explain that to the teacher and they wouldn’t have a bar of it," one commenter shared.

11. Our obsession with grass lawns

The love, nay, obsession, with lawns found in the America suburbs is not a global phenomenon. A lot of foreigners find it to be extremely strange, and a little disturbing. But there is a bright side:

"As a married, middle aged man with 3 kids, ill let everyone in on a little secret: Its the only time we get to ourselves... It also is really satisfying. But the actual reason behind why it became a thing is rooted in the classwar and racism like everything else in this country," one user wrote.

12. Declawing cats

america, american culture, europe, european culture, cats, cat claws, declawing animals, cosmetic surgery Cosmetic surgeries on pets are...a choice.Canva Photos.

Optional or cosmetic surgeries on pets are pretty unique to America, all things considered:

"Docking tails, and clipping ears, and dew claw removal on dogs, too! Our miniature pinscher has had all three done to her by her previous owner, and it's just so needlessly cruel. She didn't need any of those surgeries," someone wrote.

13. Wearing shoes in the house

Shoes in the house is not uniquely American, but it's more common here than most other places around the world.

"This is insane and nasty. The city I live in unfortunately has a lot of shit — and I don’t mean from dogs — on the ground. Wearing shoes in the house is disgusting," someone wrote.

Personally, I love wearing shoes in the house—otherwise I'd constantly be stubbing my toes!

14. Circumcision

Again, a few other places around the world perform circumcisions, usually for religious reasons, but America is unique in the way it has become the default choice for almost every boy regardless of religion or background. Europeans, in particular, find this practice extremely strange.

"So glad I didn’t do this to my son. My fiancée’s family gave me serious backlash for choosing not to because all of the boys on her side of the family are circumcised. I simply told them that I am not a barbarian and I don’t care what they think," one user wrote.

15. Sugar in weird places

america, usa, american culture, europe, culture, sugar America loves extra sugar in savory foods.Canva Photos.

A lot of food items on American shelves include tons of added sugar and high fructose corn syrup. You expect to see it in soda, candy, and desserts. But bread? Pasta sauce? Why is there so much sugar in everything?

Sugar is used regularly in America to enhance flavor and work as a preservative, whereas the practices isn't as common in many other countries.

This article originally appeared in June.

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The foolproof way to get people to open up without asking them any questions

Strangers may not be open to questions, but you can still get them talking.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking with a man at a wedding.

There are times when it may be inappropriate to ask someone a question. In specific social interactions, questions may be welcome, but specific topics may be off-limits. That’s when a communications tool called "elicitation" can become your best friend. It’s a way to make statements that encourage people to discuss sensitive topics or delve deeper into a subject without making them feel like they’re being grilled.

Although you probably won’t be using this tool to interrogate criminals or get secrets out of a CEO or politician, behavior expert Chase Hughes shared how to use the technique in everyday situations. He gives the example of wanting to know how much a woman working at a Whole Foods supermarket makes, without asking her the intrusive question. You start by making a false statement, and then the other person will correct you.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

False statement elicitation

You: Excuse me, can you show me where the baby carrots are?

Employee: Sure, follow me.

You: So, I was reading an article that said Whole Foods employees got a raise to $26 an hour.

Employee: Are you kidding? I only make $18 an hour.

“So now she doesn't feel like she's been pressed or questioned about how much she makes. She's correcting you. So, triggering a need to correct the record is one of the easiest ways to use elicitation, but it's only one,” Hughes notes.

“I’ll bet you think” elicitation

Let’s say you are working in appliance sales and have been trying to sell a man a refrigerator. You’ve been working with him for 30 minutes and want to know if he’s going to buy or not. By using an “I’ll bet” statement, you can get him to admit if he’s interested or not without being pushy. The goal is to voice what they’re thinking, but you don’t need to be correct. The person will either confirm your assumption about their thoughts, add to it, or deny it.

You: I’ll bet you think this Whirlpool refrigerator is a little expensive at $1200?

Them: I’ll say it’s a little pricey, but it’s exactly what we were looking for.

Elicitation works because it bypasses the part of the human psyche that tells them to put up their guard. People also have an incredible need to feel superior and to be correct. So, they will fall over themselves to correct a false statement, as in the Whole Foods example. They will also jump at the chance to tell you whether you’ve successfully gauged their thoughts with the “I’ll bet” technique.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“I think the number one technique is the human predisposition to correct other people. Because we as humans want to be right, and when we correct other people, that elevates us above the person we're correcting,” Jack Schafer, Ph.D., a psychologist and former FBI special agent, told Robin Dreeke. “So that makes us feel good because we know more than the other person that we're talking to, so that kind of elevates us, and in order to kind of prove that we're more superior, we often give out a lot of information that perhaps we shouldn't.”

Ultimately, elicitation techniques are tools, and they can either be used for good, when you’re out trying to get a deal on a used car, or by con artists for evil. Learning about them gives us a clear advantage as it helps us recognize when we're being manipulated so we don’t take the bait and say something we’ll regret.

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Education & Information

Redheads often require extra anesthesia and 9 other cool facts about our 'ginger' friends

They're truly special, genetically speaking.

Photo credit: Canva

Redheads really are unique, and not just in looks.

In case there was any question, redheads are special. That's not just an opinion about people with red hair or their appearance, but a statement of fact based on their scientific uniqueness.

Today, red hair is a fascination and frequently seen as a beautiful feature, but that was not always the case. Historical views of redheads have often been negative, with red hair being seen as indicative of bad character in some ancient cultures or a sign of practicing witchcraft in Christian Europe. Remember Anne of Green Gables being teased by both peers and adults alike for her red hair? Gingers have had a rough go of it in the past, but modern science gives us plenty of reasons to see them as as exceptionally cool for their genetic quirks.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads make up less than 2% of the population.Photo credit: Canva

Here are 10 things that make redheads truly special:

1. Red hair is the result of a specific genetic mutation

The primary cause of red hair is the mutated MC1R gene, and in order to have red hair, both of your parents have to carry it. The parents don't have to be full gingers themselves, but if both non-redhead parents carry the recessive gene, their child has a 25% chance of surprising the family with red hair. (Around four to five percent of the population carries the mutated gene.)

2. Redheads are much rarer than you might think

Advertisements have disproportionately featured redheads for decades, offering a skewed picture of how common the hair color is. A 2014 study found that 30% of primetime network television ads featured a redhead, which is a vast overrepresentation of a hair color that less than two percent of the population actually has. (Redheads are most commonly found in Scotland and Ireland.)

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Red hair and blue eyes is the least common hair-eye color combination.Photo credit: Canva

3. Redheads with blue eyes are the rarest combination

It's already uncommon to have red hair, but being a blue-eyed ginger is the rarest hair-eye color combination. The chance of having that combo is 0.17%, which is exceptionally rare.

4. Redheads are more likely to be left-handed

Recessive traits tend to come in pairs, making it statistically more likely for redheads to be left-handed, according to limited research.

5. Redheads may require extra anesthesia

There's apparently something about the mutated MC1R gene that makes redheads less reactive to certain kinds of anesthesia. Results of studies have not always been consistent, but there's enough research with similar results for doctors to take red hair into consideration.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads are often referred to as "gingers." Photo credit: Canva

6. Redheads may be more sensitive to pain

In a painful bit of irony, if a redhead doesn't get enough anesthesia, whatever pain they do feel might be felt more intensely than people without red hair. Some studies have found that gingers are more sensitive to certain kinds of pain. At the same time, some research shows they may have a higher pain tolerance overall, so who knows.

7. Redheads tend to feel hot and cold more intensely

Are we sensing a theme here? Redheads have some sensitivities, including sensitivities to temperature.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Red hair can look thicker than other hair colors, even though redheads have fewer hair strands than people with other hair colors.Photo credit: Canva

8. Redheads have less hair but it often looks thicker

Redheads have around 90,000 strands of hair on their heads compared to 140,000 for brunettes. However, each strand is thicker than blond or brunette hair, which can make it look like they have more hair.

9. Redheads are more likely to get skin cancer and gynecological cancers

Considering the fact that most redheads have fair skin, the elevated skin cancer risk is not terribly surprising. However, redheads are have a higher than average likelihood of getting cervical, ovarian, and colorectal cancers.

red hair, redheads, gingers, red hair genetics, red hair mutation Redheads can be found in any race. Photo credit: Canva

10. Redheads can be found in any race

Though most commonly found among people of Northern European ancestry, people of any race or ethnicity can have naturally red hair. All it takes are the right recessive genes.

Our ginger friends truly are special in so many ways, and not just because their hair looks gorgeous in the sunlight. Here's to the redheads, in all their mutant genetic glory.

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