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The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to literary genius Leo Tolstoy

He was a master of understanding the human condition.

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Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy.

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul. His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.

Julian de Medeiros, a TikToker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent—and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

intelligence, thinking, thought process, humanity, humansAn intelligent man's thought process.Canva Photos

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women


De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

In a 2024 opinion piece for Inc., author and speaker Jeff Hayden cites organizational psychologist Adam Grant, who says, "Generosity isn't just a sign of virtue. It's also a mark of intelligence. Data: people with high IQs have more unselfish values, give more to charity, and negotiate better deals for others. They prioritize the long-term collective good over short-term self-interest. It's smarter to be a giver than a taker."

Hayden adds on to this statement, saying, "...You can also be smart enough to be generous, thoughtful, and kind. You can be smart enough to build people up instead of tearing them down. You can be smart enough to give before you receive (or better yet, with no expectation of reciprocation.) You can be smart enough to shift the credit from yourself to others."

kindness, intelligence, humanity, human condition, be kindKids showing kindness through sharing. Canva Photos

In other words, these findings certainly line up with what Tolstoy's take on the correlation between kindness and intelligence.

Through Tolstoy's musings, de Medeiros (and Hayden and Grant) makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence: truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Communication expert shares 2 'subtle yet powerful' things to help us stop saying 'sorry'

So many of us are guilty of this.

Photo credit: Canva

Time to break the habit once and for all.

Nearly all of us have added a quick “sorry” to the beginning of a written or spoken sentence, be it to soften a statement or to maintain an air of politeness. But when starting off with an apology becomes a default way of communicating, it can indicate low self esteem, people pleasing tendencies, or insincerity. Needless to say, none of these things make for successfully getting your message across.

For many people (especially women) over-apologizing stems from being taught that niceness equals likeability. But while genuine apologies of course have their place, habitual, involuntary use of the word “sorry”—especially when a person isn’t at fault for anything—ends up being a form of self sabotage…often in spaces where you need confidence the most.

As keynote speaker, andCNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, “sorry” is a common form of minimizing language, a topic she regularly talks about. Similar to “um” and “just,” “sorry” undermines what you’re actually trying to say.

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA woman trapped in a boxPhoto credit: Canva

Luckily, Lee has a pretty simple process for breaking the habit.

How to stop saying “I’m sorry”

First and foremost, Lee suggests tracking just how often you might say or write “sorry.”

“The volume may surprise you,” she warns.

According to Sage Therapy, it might be helpful to note what circumstance you were dealing with at the time. Was it at home or at work? Were you dealing with strangers? Did nerves come into play? All of these factors might help identify what sorts of situations, people, or general moods might trigger the behavior.

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA nervous man at a work meetingPhoto credit: Canva

From there, Lee says these two “subtle yet powerful changes” can instantly make your communication stronger, even if you don’t eliminate “sorry” from your vocabulary entirely:

1. Swap apologies for appreciation

For example, instead of saying “sorry I’m late,” Lee suggests using “thanks for waiting.”

2. Cutting right to the chase

Barring when you legitimately need to own up to a mistake, Lee advises doing your best to “trim” the use of it from conversations. For example, saying, “I’d like to add a quick thought” instead of, “Sorry, can I jump in?”

This can go for delivering feedback as well. For example, instead of: “Sorry if this is off base…” Lee says you can use “one thing to consider is…” Alternatively, you could also find additional swap words. For instance, instead of “I’m sorry but I think we should x,y,z,” try “Hear me out, I think we should x,y,z.”

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA person being assertive at a work meeting.Photo credit: Canva

As with changing any habit, it takes practice, and, as Lee noted, “small but intentional steps.” It’s not about getting anything perfect, but rather about eliminating whatever self-made barriers that might be keeping you from expressing your most confident self. This of course is helpful in everyday life, but it’s especially crucial around clients, coworkers, and bosses.

At the very least, it helps us remember that, as Lee put it, “You deserve to take up space just as much as the next person.” and that’s a pretty good mantra to live by. Sorry not sorry.

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A tale of two pairs of boots shows how the rich get richer in ways poor people simply can't

It’s not about bootstraps at all.

Photo by Maxim Hopman on Unsplash

The Sam Vimes "Boots" Theory of Socioeconomic Unfairness explains one way the rich get richer.

Any time discussions of wealth and poverty come up, people inevitably start talking about boots. The standard phrase that usually gets thrown around is "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," which is shorthand for "work harder and don't ask for or expect help." (The fact that the phrase was originally used sarcastically because pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps is physically impossible is rarely acknowledged, but c'est la vie.)

The idea that people who build wealth are able to do so because they individually work harder than poor people is baked into the American consciousness and wrapped up in the ideal of the American dream. A different take on boots and building wealth, however, paints a more accurate picture of what it takes to get out of poverty.

boots, poverty, economic inequalityA boots story shows why it can be so hard to climb out of poverty. Giphy by DurangoBoots

Author Terry Pratchett is no longer with us, but his writing lives on and is occasionally shared on his official social media accounts. In 2022, his Twitter page shared the "Sam Vimes 'Boots' Theory of Socioeconomic Unfairness" from Pratchett's 1993 book "Men At Arms." This boots theory explains that one reason the rich are able to get richer is because they are able to spend less money.

If that sounds confusing, read on:

Pratchett wrote:

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

boots, work boots, economic inequality, rich get richer, climbing out of povertyA good pair of work boots will save you money in the long run, but only if you can afford them in the first place.Photo credit: Canva

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet."

In other words, people who have the money to spend a little more upfront often end up spending less in the long run. A $50 pair of boots that last five years essentially cost you $10 a year. But if you can only afford $10 upfront for a pair of boots that last six months, that's what you buy—and you end up paying twice as much over a five-year period.

There are so many areas in which this principle applies when you're poor. Buying in bulk saves you money over the long run, but you have to be able to afford the bulk cost up front. A reliable car that doesn't require regular repairs will cost more than a beater, but if the beater is all you can afford, that's what you're stuck with. You'll likely spend the same or more over time than if you'd bought a newer/higher quality car, but without the capital (or the credit rating) to begin with, you don't have much choice.

buying a car, used car, new car, economic inequalityMore reliable cars cost more up front.Giphy GIF by LSD

People who can afford larger down payments pay lower interest rates, saving them money both immediately and in the long run. People who can afford to buy more can spend more with credit cards, pay off the balances, build up good credit and qualify for lower interest rate loans.

There are lots of good financial decisions and strategies one can utilize if one has the ability to build up some cash. But if you are living paycheck to paycheck, you can't.

Climbing the financial ladder requires getting to the bottom rung first. Those who started off anywhere on the ladder can make all kinds of pronouncements about how to climb it—good, sound advice that really does work if you're already on the ladder. But for people living in poverty, the bottom rung is just out of reach, and the walls you have to climb to get to it are slippery. It's expensive to be poor.

poverty, wealth, climbing a ladder, getting out of povertyIt's hard to climb out of poverty when you can't reach the ladder. Photo credit: Canva

When people talk about how hard it is to climb out of poverty, this is a big part of what they mean. Ladder-climbing advice is useless if you can't actually get to the ladder. And yet, far too many people decry offering people assistance that might help them reach the ladder so they can start taking advantage of all that great financial advice. Why? Perhaps because they were born somewhere on the ladder—even if it was the bottom rung—and aren't aware that there are people for whom the ladder is out of reach. Or perhaps they're unaware of how expensive it is to be poor and how the costs of poverty keep people stuck in the pit. Hopefully, this theory will help more people understand and sympathize with the reality of being poor.

Money makes money, yes, but having money also saves you money. The more money you have, the more wealth you're able to build not only because you have extra money to save, but also because you can buy higher quality things that last, therefore spending less in the long run.

Thanks, Terry Pratchett, for the simple explanation.

This story originally appeared three years ago.

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Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet.' The unnecessary 'H' we can't stop saying.

Turns out Rs are the real weirdos causing all the trouble.

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Why Americans pronounce 'street' as 'shtreet' or 'schreet'

There are some things Americans will concede are strictly American. One of those things os the pronunciation of certain words. No matter the accent, English words are generally pronounced the same, with a few exceptions. The inflection may be different but the mechanics are the same. This isn't the case for words like "street."

Really, any word that requires the "str" combination somehow gets the "sh" sound thrown in there. It's something that's so normal for Americans we don't hear it, so this may sound made up. But British linguist Dr. Geoff Lindsey breaks down why American speakers pronounce the "str" sound with an "sh." It's like "h" is an invisible letter instead of a silent one. The mispronunciation is not just an American thing though, it's an English speaker thing and doesn't really discriminate based on regional accents.

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingA group of friends at a coffee shop. Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

It would seem the simplest answer is ease of speaking. There are a lot of words that get hurried or pronounced more like you're speaking in cursive rather than annunciating clear individual words. It's faster and easier to cut words short or start them with less annunciation, especially when casually speaking. But when it comes to the "str" sound, it doesn't seem to matter how slowly you're trying to say the word combination. That sneaky "h" keeps popping up between the "s" and "t." Why is that?

Turns out it has more to do with the letter "r" than any of the other letters. Dr. Lindsey explains, "in languages around the world the 'r' is often a tap of the tongue tip just behind the upper front teeth. But English 'r' turns things upside down, literally upside down from the perspective of the international phonetic alphabet, because this is actually the precise symbol for English 'r' and we can add an extra topping to show that it's often made with the lips rounded."

This rounding of the "r" and lack of contact with the back of the front teeth makes the distance between the "t" and "r" an uncomfortable distance for the tongue to travel. When people who speak English pronounce the letter "r," they pull their tongue back, away from their teeth and the roof of their mouth. It's almost as if the tongue is suspended in the air so it doesn't touch anything else in your mouth. This area that the tongue hangs out in for the letter "r" is the same area we use to make combination sounds like "ch" and "sh."

In a recent TikTok video, a young woman wonders if people have always pronounced "street" like "shtreet" after realizing her friend seemed to be adding the "sh" sound, only to realize she too adds the "sh" sound. In response, Yuval, a content creator who explores multiple different topics, attempts to breakdown why people make the "sh" sound when pronouncing words with the blended consonants "str."

linguistics; pronunciation; American accent; English accent; word pronunciation; speakingWomen sitting on swings. Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

"What this comes down to is the fact that English 'Rs' are what we like to call in linguistics, very weird. You'll notice that your tongue has to make all of these peculiar movements to make that sound. More specifically, your tongue is further back in your mouth when you make an 'r' than it is when you make an 's.' So instead of saying that 's' directly, you pull your tongue back a bit and make an 's h' because the distance between and 's' and and 'r' is too great of a distance for your tongue to travel," Yuval points out.

He continues, "Now, some of you might be sitting there and thinking to yourself wait a minute that can't make any sense because in a word like street, directly between the 's' and the 'r' there's a 't' where your tongue is gonna have to be at the top of your teeth anyways, except no it won't because you're not gonna be saying a 't' at all," arguing that words that have the blended "tr" sound often become the blended "ch" sound when speaking. He then gives several examples.

@yuvaltheterrible Replying to @Thomas Jefferson123 so yes dry January is also alliterative #language #linguistics #english #pronunciation ♬ original sound - Yuval

So why do we say words like "street" and "strong" like "shtreet" and "shtrong?" Distance. That's it. There's no secret deeper than people tend to use what is easiest to communicate efficiently. Cutting off the distance the tongue has to travel between the mid-mouth and the teeth in preparation to go from the "st" sound to the "r" sound is just easier. Some people might call it laziness but others might call it efficiency. Either way, stay shtrong out there, the shtreets are tough.

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