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Formerly 'awkward' person shares the 5 tricks he learned to become 'engaging' in 30 days

"I decided to treat every convo like an experiment, collect data on what actually makes people light up."

conversation, man and woman, woman laughing, attention, listening, smiles,
via Canva/Photos

A man and woman having a good conversation.

Do you get nervous in social situations because you’re not quite sure what to say? Do you dread exchanging hellos and then having an uncomfortable silence follow? Are you impressed by people who walk through social situations with confidence, who never seem to be at a loss for words, and whose company everyone seems to enjoy?

The good news is that if you are someone who feels socially awkward, you can overcome your discomfort by learning some basic communication tips that'll drastically improve your conversations. All it takes is studying the habits social butterflies use to be engaging conversationalists.

conversation, party, drinks, social situation, attention, listening Some friends talking at a party.via Canva/Photos

A Reddit user named Turbulent-Photo, who was admittedly awkward, began using some new conversational techniques, and in only 30 days, they went from being “awkward” to engaging. They shared the new skills they learned in a post on the Social Skills subforum. “I used to panic when someone asked a simple question like 'how's your day?' I’d give a one-word answer, then dip out. Then I decided to treat every convo like an experiment, collect data on what actually makes ppl light up,” they wrote before sharing five conversation hacks that helped them become a better conversationalist.

Note: The conversation tips have been edited for grammar and clarity.

Five conversation hacks to help you go from awkward to engaging

1. Active listening: “Instead of planning my next line, I just focused on their words, body language, tone, and it worked, mirroring their posture or repeating a key phrase (‘you said u love hiking?’), making them feel heard, and they open up.”

This trick is backed by science. Research shows that if you ask someone a question and two follow-up questions, it dramatically increases how likable you are. “We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

conversation, party, drinks, social situation, attention, listening A man and a woman chatting at a party.via Canva/Photos

2. Asking open-ended questions: Ditch ‘Did u have a good weekend?’ Try 'What was the highlight of your weekend?’ Suddenly they share stories, not just yes/no crap, and you got real convo material to build on.”

3. Storytelling: “Once I shared a 10-second tale bout freezing at the coffee shop, then joking with the barista, and people actually laughed. Vulnerability + humor = instant connection feels real.”

4. Body language: “I used to cross arms, look at the floor, classic ‘go away’ vibes. Then I uncrossed my arms, leaned in, kept my chest open, and people mirrored me back. Conversations flow even before I talk.”

Research shows that when someone likes you, they mirror your body language and movements. For example, if you’re seated, and the person likes you, they will mirror your seated posture. If you change your posture and then they adapt, it could be a big clue that someone likes you.

5. Affirmations: “‘That's a great point’ or ‘I hadn't thought of it that way’ cost nothing but boosts rapport big time.”

The interesting part about the five rules the Redditor shared is that most of them don’t involve you being the center of attention or having to wow the room with your amazing stories and anecdotes. It’s just about being a good listener, standing with intentional body language, and asking the right questions. Then, when you do take a moment to speak up, you’ll have an attentive conversation partner hanging on every word. Because you made them feel so comfortable and heard, they're happy to extend you the same courtesy.

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Woman gives tour of her $650 New York micro apartment and people were unprepared

Could you live in this apartment?

incognito7nyc/Flickr & Canva Photos

A woman ruffled some feathers with a tour of her $650 NYC micro apartment.

They say New York City is the City of Dreams. Young people all over the world flock to the city when they're ready to start chasing after their biggest ambitions. If you have a passion for theater, television, or the arts, there's no better place to be. Want to become a successful and prestigious stock broker, lawyer, or investment banker? It's all New York, baby. It's a city of immense opportunity and tough competition, but that's what makes it full of life and culture for those who choose to live there.

But all of that doesn't come cheap. The average rent in New York for even just a small, studio apartment is $3,264 per month. That buys you less than 500 square feet. And, even though it seems like you're really pinching pennies by living somewhere so cramped, that price tag is enormous! Even if you account for the higher-than-average salaries in New York.

Most young people just getting started in their careers can't afford that. Not to mention, the competition for good-quality apartments in New York is cutthroat. Still, people are desperate to live there by any means necessary, which has given rise to some really fascinating (and, in some cases, slightly horrifying) micro apartments.

In 2023, one woman went viral for showing off her New York micro apartment. It clocks in at just 80 square feet and cost her, at the time, a meager $650 per month.

new york, new york living, NYC, tiny apartment, micro apartment, apartment tour, budgeting, gen z, millennials, american dream If you like spending all your money on rent, New York is awesome! Giphy

YouTuber Caleb Simpson interviewed the woman, Alaina, for his channel that specializes in featuring interesting and unique living spaces. Alaina's apartment definitely qualifies, though technically the square footage is 80x150, because she's including the vertical space. Every square inch counts!

"So really it just feels like a walk-in closet," Simpson remarks upon entering through the front door.

Alaina shows Simpson around the apartment, which includes a tiny living room slash kitchen area with a mini-fridge, a small sink, and a small stove and microwave. In the main living area, she's placed a fold-out sofa of sorts. Alaina's makeup and pantry foods are all crammed into one small cabinet.

From there...well, there's not much left to see. But Alaina and Simpson check out the loft, which holds Alaina's bed and a little extra storage in the form of hooks where she hangs her bags and purses.

The apartment has no windows. There is a storage cupboard under the stairs, but it's hard to access.

"Every time I want to get something out, something else has to move," Alaina says.

As far as a bathroom, Alaina is lucky enough to have her very own private bathroom complete with shower! Many New York micro apartments feature communal or shared bathrooms, so the private bath is a plus for this tiny space. However, hers is located separate from her apartment, down the hall. And, you might be surprised to hear, it's extremely tiny.

Alaina admits she previously lived in a "luxury" apartment that cost over $3,000 per month, but she wanted to free up money to travel, which prompted her to downgrade.

Watch the whole tour here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Alaina says her tiny apartment was a "hot commodity" when she signed the lease, beating out tons of other prospective renters.

Commenters on the video, which has a staggering 24 million views, were more or less horrified at the conditions that New Yorkers were competing over:

"Firetrap . No exits , no windows with fresh air . Cooking with no air flow . Crazy this is even happening"

"I can't even breathe looking at this tiny apartment"

"'In a van, down by the river' has never sounded better."

"NYC should be ashamed and embarrassed to relegate people to live in this kind of space. Not only does it look uncomfortable / unhealty but It looks extremely dangerous. NYC should do better in providing affordable housing with decent square footage."

It's cool and scrappy that Alaina makes the pint-sized apartment work for her as she pursues her dream of living in New York City. We might find it claustrophobic, but the fact that multiple renters were fighting over this space really says a lot about the way our culture is moving.

Younger millennials and Gen Z are sick of chasing after the American Dream of the single-family home with a white picket fence and a golden retriever.

new york, new york living, NYC, tiny apartment, micro apartment, apartment tour, budgeting, gen z, millennials, american dream The City That Never Sleeps Giphy

It's hopelessly out of reach for many of them anyway due to skyrocketing housing prices and stagnant wages. So, they can work their fingers to the bone with multiple jobs and maybe afford a slightly better apartment, but still not be able to save enough for the future—or they could actually enjoy their life with the money they do have.

NBC News writes, "Several years out of Covid lockdowns, younger Americans’ outlays on things like travel, recreation and dining out have been outpacing their older peers’ even as the economy slows. As of last summer, the average Gen Zer or millennial was dropping over $400 a month on nonessentials, compared to about $250 for Gen Xers and less than $200 for baby boomers."

In another YouTube interview, Alaina admits to spending big money on her monthly gym membership: over $300 per month, to be exact. Commenters chastised her for having her priorities mixed up, but honestly, there's nothing backwards at all about wanting to relax at your gym's spa after a long day of work, or travel to the far ends of the world, versus spending all of your money on an OK-but-still-crappy apartment.

In an update in the YouTube video's caption, Simpson writes that Alaina chose not to renew her lease in the micro apartment after filming. But that doesn't mean she regrets her stay.

"It's an adventure," Alaina says. "People need a lot less than they think they need."

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Gen Z couple exposes the big generation gap in partner location sharing

"We just don't think it's that serious."

via Canva/Photos and Google Play

A wife tracking her husband's location.

If you’re in a relationship, there are pros and cons to sharing your location with your partner. On one hand, it’s a great way to find out where they are so you know (roughly) when they’ll be home, or to make sure they are safe. On the other hand, a controlling partner can abuse the technology, and some folks just want to come and go without being watched even if it’s by someone they love.

Further, if you are against your partner tracking you, what do you have to hide? If you’re not going places that you shouldn’t, why do you care if your partner can see where you are? TikTok creators Maya and Hunter, a young married couple who share videos about their egalitarian relationship, have a theory: couples under 35 have no problem sharing their location, while those 35 and over recoil at the idea.

What type of couples share location data?

“Why does everyone over the age of 35 think that sharing your location with your partner is a prison sentence?” Hunter asks in a TikTok with over 600,000 views. “Every time we talk to someone older about how we have each other’s location, they’re like... Bring out the shackles!” Maya adds. “And I feel like everyone we talk to who’s under 35 just thinks of it as a convenience or safety thing.”

@maya.and.hunter

i feel like we just don’t think it’s that serious?

The couple doesn’t see anything wrong with monitoring one another, and although it’s not a big part of their lives, they like to have it just in case. “It’s not that deep. I can’t remember the last time I checked her location, other than just to find out where she parked. It’s just a really interesting social commentary that everyone over a certain age—we think it’s about 35—has this really big issue with, like, a privacy violation and mistrust when you share your location.”

“But I feel with my friends and partner and people I trust,” Maya adds, “I don’t care if they see where I’m going at any time.”

The generational gap in location sharing

The couple believes that the cutoff line is the age of 35, and according to Civic Science, they aren’t far off in their assumption. A generational study finds that younger people are far more likely than older people to share their locations. Gen Z adults aged 18-29 are the most likely to use location sharing (65%), outpacing Millennials (45%) and Gen X (42%), and more than doubling those 55+ (24%).

@rosecitycomedy

Nothing says love like quietly tracking your partner’s every move. Just ask Andy Woodhull. #tylertx #longviewtx #standupcomedy

A significant factor contributing to the generation gap is that individuals aged 35 and under were, at the oldest, teenagers when location technology became available. Heck, folks who are 18 right now never lived in a time when location sharing didn’t exist and were likely to be raised by parents who tracked their locations. Those who are over 35 were adults by the time the technology became available, and they lived in a time where, if you were interested in tracking someone, you were probably a creep. Older people value privacy more because they remember a time when they could be unreachable.

The video divided people in the comments. "I have a theory. People over 35 are old enough to remember not being constantly surveilled," one wrote. “Because they grew up in an era when the norm was privacy, not surveillance, so it feels like being stalked,” another added.

“Everyone who is against it is shady,” one person confidently wrote. “I totally get what you mean, it's like older folks see it as a big deal, but for us it's just about staying connected and safe,” agreed another.

There’s no correct answer to the big location-sharing question. People who don’t do it can brag about their independence and the fact that they trust their partner so much they don’t need to follow where they go. Others may claim they track their spouses out of love and concern for their safety. But the debate does say a lot about how different generations were raised with entirely different expectations of privacy and how it plays out in their closest relationships.

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Married couple says the '3-Hour Night' hack has totally improved their marriage

“It's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go.”

@racheleehiggins/TikTok

Want out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.

Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast-paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode of your favorite show on Netflix.

And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things. According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.

bored, couple, marriage hack, man ywaning, concerned woman A couple that has lost their spark.via Canva/Photos

What is the 3-Hour Night marriage hack?

The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives at the beginning of 2024. And so far, “it's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

But with a three-hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three sections, each for a different focus.In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

“So, start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either ... has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that's productive for the household,” she explains.


@rachelleehiggins

if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals

Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

“So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that's gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you're doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how work's going or whatever. So, anything that's gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated to anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity. Since this is a judgment-free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lie on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever, like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

happy coupe, couple in bed, young married couple, man with beard, smiling woman A happy couple in bed.via Canva/Photos

Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly, even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

"Such a good idea. Good for us empty nesters too! The phone scrolling is outta control!"one commenter wrote. "This is really cool. The housework is equal. The emotional connection is equal and the self care is equal. No room for resentment," another added. "We don’t have kids yet but I love this and want to do it because the nights slip away so fast!!" a commenter added.

Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

Plus, a three-hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high a priority your relationship has in your life, no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you'll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Mom accidentally sleeps with phone on silent and wakes up to heart-stopping 'emergency'

Other moms could definitely relate.

Photo credit: Canva

Every parent has been through some version of this.

It’s a top-tier parenting nightmare: accidentally putting your phone on silent before bed and waking up to a ton of rapid-fire missed calls from your child. Of course, your brain goes over every worst-case scenario, your heart skips a beat, the panic sets in…and then…BAM! Turns out, it was the complete opposite of an emergency. All those gray hairs for nothing.

This was the situation that mom Meredith Thornton found herself in after waking up to a slew of back-to-back missed calls from her 18-year-old son Van, made in the wee hours right after he was supposed to have gotten off from work.

Thornton told Today that she normally keeps her phone with full volume next to her at night so that her kids would “know I'm always available.” She added that her family had faced “legit emergencies” in the past, so the thought of her grown kiddos being on their own on the road at night still made her uneasy.

So, understandably, when she woke up to those missed calls, she thought for sure a “car wreck, or a mental health issue” had occurred, and she “nearly had a heart attack.”

But as we see in the next slide of her TikTok, the “emergency” in question was Van needing a Microsoft code…which had apparently been sent to her email. Phew.

@ironmanmamma I legit almost had a heart attack especially since I slept through the calls. #adultkids #adultchildren #genx #microsoft #momsoftiktok ♬ Very Sad - Enchan


Thornton told Today that she suspected other parents might relate to this anxiety-inducing moment, hence why she posted it. Boy was she correct. Over three million people have viewed the clip so far, and countless parents have shared similarly harrowing scares.

"Girl!! 11 messages from my son asking about Roblox code and I’m thinking he been kidnapped.”

“It’s always an emergency when they need the code.”

"I was legitimately on a stage speaking to over 300 people. I keep my phone on silent, but I use it to know the time. My son called eleven times in a row. I apologized to the audience and turned my mic off and took the call. 'Can I spend 7 dollars on roblox.' Thank God it was all teachers."

"What about the text messages that just say….MOM followed by absolutely nothing else."

"Ooooh I get those. Heart attack city."

"This happened to me last weekend. And my kids were calling because A BEAR WAS OUTSIDE THEIR TENT."

Others could also feel young Van’s dilemma. One viewer quipped, “I mean, those codes are only good for 12 minutes.”

Even the official Microsoft account chimed in, writing, “No bc we get it 🥀”

For parents who want to avoid these snafus in the future, here’s a pretty simple hack: go to your kiddo’s contact info, then select Ringtone or Text Tone. Finally, turn on the Emergency Bypass toggle for the desired contact and notification type (call or text). And voilá, whether on silent or in Do Not Disturb mode, you won’t miss the call…be it for actual emergencies, or passcode requests.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Still, we really feel for your plight, Thornton. Hopefully, you can still get a good night’s sleep after this!

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Woman shares the 3 things she could never get away with having a Secret Service father

Guess when your dad takes a special course in forgery, skipping school becomes a challenge.

Photo credit: Canva, @ashley4236/TikTok

Ashely Hicks shares the three things she couldn't get away with having a Secret Service dad.

Many of us grew up with strict parents, but growing up with parents that were part of the secret service? That's a whole ‘nother level of no-nonsense child-rearing. But for Ashley Hicks, whose dad was a Secret Service agent, this was the reality. Over on TikTok, she’s shared countless stories that reveal just how unconventional her childhood was.

In one particular popular video, Hicks shared how she was unable to get away with three very common things: lying, sneaking out/skipping school, and sleepovers. So basically, any plot point to a '90s teen movie was not happening under her dad’s watch.

Secret Service GIFfrom Secret Service GIFs

To further paint the scene, Hicks recalled a few failed attempts at these transgressions. Like the time she tried to lie about going to a friend's house three miles away, and dad immediately checked the odometer when she got home to confirm that she had, in fact, driven an additional 20ish miles…and thus was not at said friend’s house. Yikes.

Anecdote #2: One time, Hicks tried to forge her mother’s signature on a note to be able to skip school. The next day, she was sent to the principal's office, where her father was waiting for her. He told her, “I skipped a meeting at the White House to be here, because we know that you skipped school yesterday.” How did he know? The forged signature. Apparently, he had taken a special course to detect such things.

And to clarify the “no sleepovers” rule: Hicks was allowed to have friends overnight, and she was allowed to go over to a small group of friend’s houses whose parents also happened to be in government agencies like the FBI. Being ultra-selective with which house kids sleep at is a pretty popular parenting practice nowadays, so in this instance, maybe Hicks' dad wasn’t extreme, just ahead of his time.

@ashleyy4236 3 things I could never get away with as the daughter of a secret service agent 👀
♬ original sound - Ashley || secret service kid

Needless to say, people were impressed to hear about these hardcore tactics. Scared, but impressed.

“Checking the odometer is so smart.”

“Imagine being the principal and a secret service agent using your office to interrogate his kid about forgery 😂”

“You probably had your own agent and had no clue.”

“Bro kept up with you better than life 360 before it was even invented.”

“When your dad skips White House meetings, you know you did a thing.”

Then again, some folks noted that these tactics felt all too familiar.

“My dad checked the image too, I didn’t get away with it. He was in the Air Force.”

“So what you're saying is my mom missed her calling.”

And yet, despite the strictness, Hicks tells Today that as teens, she and her sisters were still allowed to make mistakes. “He knew we were going to do the teenage things, and he hammered it into us: ‘You will not get in trouble if you do it the responsible way. I’m not gonna be happy about it, but I want you to be safe.’”

Of course, growing up with a dad in the Secret Service has bestowed some unique skills, especially when it comes to being safe and "situationally aware.”

In a different TikTok video, both Hicks and her sister delved into helpful hints like placing a pair of men's shoes outside the door so passersby would think a man lives there (particularly helpful for single women), arranging a Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist sale to be outside a fire or police station, and never sitting with their back towards the door while eating at a restaurant.

@ashleyy4236 how to scare a secret service agent? Give him two daughters 😂#secretservice #daughter ♬ original sound - Ashley || secret service kid

Interesting to think that these are tidbits many of us are exposed to now because of social media, but they were habits ingrained into Hicks long before that, thanks to dad. Maybe she didn't grow up like all the other kids, but she's certainly entered adulthood with some cool skills and even cooler stories. All of which you can find by following Hicks on TikTok.

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