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How sign language was once banned in America thanks to Alexander Graham Bell

The inventor thought sign language kept people from integrating into society.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awareness

Alexander Graham Bell once had sign language banned in America.

American Sign Language, known widely as ASL is something that people are used to seeing. Though everyone doesn't speak the language, we as a society understand the important role it plays in the lives of those who are or know someone who is deaf or hard of hearing. Classes are offered online, at local libraries, and even at universities because ASL is a full language on its own with its own set of rules. Given the wide acceptance and understanding of the need for ASL, it's hard to believe that it was once banned in America.

Yes, banned. In the early years of ASL, it was a developing tool for deaf people to communicate with each other and those around them. The language was developed using the natural human inclination to use hand gestures to communicate. It quickly caught on and became a cohesive language which resulted in it being taught to deaf children in schools. "There are more than 150 different sign languages used around the world that are distinct from each other and the spoken languages in the same places," Erica Brozovsky, Ph.D. says on an episode of PBS' Otherwords, of which is she is the host and writer.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awarenessMan and child signing on floor.Photo credit: Canva

A school for the deaf was established in 1816 after French educators and American advocates opened The American School for the Deaf. This school allowed deaf students from different parts of America to receive an education in a place where the kids could learn using signs and gestures instead of speech. The French educators brought French sign language which American students combined with the gestures they used at home to communicate with their family. It helped deaf Americans build community and solidify ASL as a standard language for deaf people in the United States.

Unfortunately, this level of representation and inclusive education for deaf students wasn't something supported by everyone. Alexander Graham Bell, who was married to a deaf woman and had a deaf mother, was one of the staunchest critics of the groundbreaking language. He believed that deaf people should try to "integrate into mainstream speaking culture." Kind of rude but, okay. He is a famous inventor, so maybe there was a secret invention he was working on that would help solve the obvious problem that had...already been solved? Wishful thinking.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awarenessAsl Lips GIFGiphy

In 1880, Bell and nearly 200 other educators convened in Milan and decided that ASL just wouldn't do. In their minds, only "oralism" would be an acceptable way for deaf people to learn to speak, oralism being a system the educators who attended the conference made up as opposed to "manualism" or sign language.

"They believed that sign language was a lesser imitation of spoken language and that deaf kids shouldn't be taught to sign in schools. Instead they created a system called Oralism, where deaf children were expected to hear by lip reading and speak by imitating the mouth shapes of hearing people," Brozovsky reveals.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awarenessAsl Seriously GIFGiphy

The educators who created this system were all hearing except for one, which seems to have created the perfect climate for powerful people to make decisions about another group of people they did not belong to. Schools swiftly switched to Oralism instead of sign language and the results were devastating for deaf students. Sign language was not reintroduced to deaf students in schools until the 1960s. After nearly 100 years of sign language being banned in school, adults who missed the valuable education and community building were angry.

1n 1994, historian of Deaf Culture, Jack Gannon, told PBS, "Lots of those angry adults feel they've been cheated. They've been cheated out of a good education. They've been cheated out of good relationships with their own families. They feel they've been cheated out of so many things because they were restricted only to one method, Oralism. Now they're angry about that. And to be honest with you, I think they have a right to be angry."

According to Roberta Cordano, President of Gallaudet University, the deaf community didn't receive an apology for the removal of sign language from schools until 2013. She recalls to Otherwords that her mother was still alive to receive the apology for the harm caused.

"And it was only in 2013 that there was an apology issued to the deaf community for the Milan conference that declaration that spoke to banning sign language back in the 1880s. That apology to the deaf community that came in 2013 was one my mother was still alive to see, and my mother suffered because of that decree during that period of time. And my mother said, 'you know, I finally have lived to see this apology. That happened in her lifetime and it meant a lot to her" Cordano says.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awarenessWoman smiling using ASLPhoto credit: Canva

But what educators didn't know in the 1880s is that learning language early in life is crucial for development no matter if it's spoken or signed. Another benefit according to the video is that kids who learn to sign from infancy, whether they're hearing or not, have increased brain development. Though sign language is widely more acceptable as a form of language now, Cordano points out that there are still gaps in teaching it to deaf and hard of hearing children. Cochlear implants and hearing aids aren't always enough to have a deaf child hear like their peers, so sometimes key pieces of language are missing which can impact learning.

Cordano wants people to understand that while there are devices that can help people hear, there doesn't have to be a choice between using one of those devices and learning ASL. She believes it's most beneficial for kids to be exposed to both so they can decide what suits them.

ASL; sign language; american sign language; mental health; inclusion; disability awarenessThree women conversing in ASLPhoto credit: Canva

The university president closes by saying, "So what I recognize is that we have been so busy trying to fix deaf babies or deaf and hard of hearing babies by putting technologies on them or trying to fix them so that they'll be hearing and be able to access spoken language that we've completely missed out on what those deaf babies have to offer the entire world. A lifetime experience of hearing loss and I think we really got it wrong, the babies are our teachers in this process, they are teaching us how to live with a beauty of a visual language. How to live in a world full of visual images and visual communication. It's just a way of being that is so beneficial to everyone if you learn sign language and use sign language."

Pets

Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! 🐶❤️Photo credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

Images via Canva/martin-dm, Daniel Torobekov

Dolphin parenting is a firm yet flexible parenting style.

People are choosing a number of different parenting styles to raise their kids today. From gentle parenting to FAFO parenting, there are seemingly endless options to choose from.

One parenting style that is geared to instill creativity and independence in kids is called "dolphin parenting." Coined by Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Shimi Kang, the term describes parents who have a more authoritative parenting style.

"Like the body of the dolphin, these parents are firm yet flexible," she writes in Psychology Today. "Dolphin parents have rules and expectations but also value creativity and independence. They are collaborative and use guiding and role modeling to raise their kids."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Dolphin parents are "adaptable, community-minded and valuing play, a sense of social connection, and the daily tasks of downtime, routine, regular sleep, exercise," says Kang, the author of The Dolphin Parent: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Self-Motivated Kids.

She adds that this parenting style benefits kids long into their young adulthood. "When we parent that way, when we bring in that collaborative guiding, firm and flexible dolphin approach, we see young people with better physical/mental health, better self-motivation, better sense of creativity, innovation and problem solving," she says.

As a mother of three, Kang shares that she was raised by a "Dolphin Mom" and became one herself. "She had rules and expectations, including expecting us to do well in academics and be disciplined. But she also valued our autonomy, individual passions and independent choices," she explains in TIME.

According to Kang, there are six pillars of Dolphin Moms:

- Are balanced and collaborative
- Do not overschedule
- Do not over instruct
- Do not over protect
- Create a pod of support
- Adapt

There are two other styles of parenting that Kang has identified: tiger parenting (authoritarian parenting) and jellyfish parenting (permissive parenting). Dolphin parenting falls between these two.

Dolphin parenting's authoritative focus does not shut kids down, though. "With authoritative parenting, the doors of communications are open on either side, giving kids the space to make mistakes and express themselves in a respectful manner," Kang writes in Psychology Today.

dolphin, dolphin parent, dolphin parenting, parenting, parenting style A mother helps her daughter with the computer. Credit: August de Richelieu/Pexels

Kang cites research from the Harvard-based Grant Study of Adult Development to support dolphin parenting.

"It showed that the ability to adapt creatively and 'make lemonade out of lemons' was a key determinant of success," she explains in a post on her website. "In addition, individuals who displayed altruism and a sense of humor during conflict and stress were more likely to be in the top quarter of the 'happy-well' group, and those who scored highest on measurements of 'warm relationships' in childhood earned an average of $141,000 a year more at their peak salaries (usually between ages 55 and 60) than those who scored lowest."

Kang also notes that "other important predictors of being 'happy-well' were important lifestyle factors such as not smoking, little use of alcohol, regular exercise, and maintenance of normal weight."

Simply put, dolphin parenting is another parenting style that just might be the best for raising kids to be healthy, happy, and independent.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


Pets

Veterinarian shares 7 signs a cat loves you, even if it seems like they couldn't care less

What looks like aloof behavior in cats is often a sign of love.

Cats don't always show their affection in the way we expect.

One of the reasons so many people love dogs is that they usually make their bond with their favorite humans quite clear. Dogs wear their loyalty and affinity on their sleeve, whereas cats are a bit more...aloof.

Sure, some cats are affectionate little cuddle bugs, but many cats seem as if they couldn't care less about anyone, and even the snuggly ones can't be coaxed into affection if they're not into it at the moment. That doesn't mean they aren't feeling or expressing love, though. Some of the behaviors that make cats appear bored or disinterested are actually signs that they like you.

Dr. Sarah Wooten, a small animal veterinarian, shared a list of 7 signs that a cat loves you with Cats.com, and it might make cat owners feel better about their feline friendships.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. Slow Blinking

When a cat sits across from you and stares at you with sleepy-looking eyes, blinking slowly, it might seem like they're bored or tired. But those slow blinks are actually how they communicate peace and connection. "If you're seeing that with your cat, they love you," says Dr. Wooten.

2. Lap Sitting

One of our cats loves to sit in our laps, but only with her head facing away from us, which feels a bit impersonal. We'll take it, though, since sitting in our laps is apparently a sign of love.

"Not all cats love a large amount of body contact, petting, and things like that with humans," says Dr. Wooten. "Remember every cat is individual…but if your cat is a touchy-feely cat and loves to be touched by humans, then sitting in your lap for an extended period of time is definitely a sign that your cat loves and trusts you."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Cat sitting in a woman's lapPhoto credit: Canva

3. Present Dropping

If you've never had a cat bring you a dead mouse or the head of a bird or some other disgusting offering, consider yourself lucky. However, if you have, you should also consider yourself lucky, as it means your cat loves you. "Even though to us humans it seems pretty unsavory, to your cat it is a sign of love and dedication," says Wooten. Of course, it's not always dead animals—sometimes cats might bring you inanimate objects they've collected (which makes you doubly lucky).

4. Kneading Biscuits

The rhythmic kneading cats do on blankets, pillows, or their humans is a behavior that mimics what they did while nursing as kittens. "It's just a leftover instinctual thing that they do when they feel super happy and super connected," says Wooten. "So if your cat makes biscuits when they're near you, that is a sign of love and connection."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Cat making biscuitsPhoto credit: Canva

5. Purring

This one might seem like a no-brainer, but purring doesn't always mean affection. Cats purr for many reasons, including happiness or contentment, but also for pain or sickness.

"But if your cat's just hanging out at home and they're near you, and suddenly you hear the motor go on, that's a pretty good sign that they love you," says Wooten.

6. Rubbing or "Bunting"

If a cat comes up and rubs its face or body on you, that's a sign of love and connection. It's called bunting, and essentially, it's how the cat marks you as "theirs."

"Cats have scent markers in their paws, they have them on their face…and they also have them on the base of their tail," says Wooten. "So what cats will often do is they will rub their paws or their face or their tail on the people that they love and consider to be their property."

cats, pets, signs a cat loves you, kitties, animal behavior Who knew yawning and stretching could be a sign of love?Photo credit: Canva

7. Yawning and Stretching

Much like slow blinking, yawning, and stretching may easily be mistaken for sleepiness, but there's often more to it than that. It's a sign that they are comfy around you. "Especially if they're sleeping, if they see you [and] suddenly they get up, maybe they meow at you and then they yawn and they stretch, they get everything all good and feeling good, and then they come hang out with you, it's a sign of love," says Wooten. "That's a sign that they're very comfortable and that they're very happy to see you."

Cats may appear to be standoffish or only affectionate when they feel like it, but it could be that they are showing you they love you in ways that you might not recognize. Cats can be a lot harder to read than dogs, but they really do love us—just not always in the ways we expect.

Photo Credit: Canva

A person rushes through the airport. A man looks at a clock.

English writer and theologian William Penn once famously said, "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." Most likely, he meant that most of us squander the time given to us, as though it’s an endless resource. But, for the sake of this topic, let's also apply it to those of us who simply can't manage time properly.

We all have those friends who are shockingly, chronically late to everything—and those who are always early. (I'm the latter, and it seems to be equally annoying to the people in my life.) The question is why are we this way and how can we learn to co-exist? There are many reasons that contribute to how we manage time, and they of course depend on a variety of individualized factors, but one theory floating around is actually how full or empty we see the proverbial cup.

From an article posted on University of Southern California's School of Psychology site, it all comes down to our bias toward optimism or pessimism. For the late arrivers, it's called the planning fallacy. "Psychologist Daniel Kahneman and colleague Amos Tversky introduced the concept in 1979, defining it as 'the tendency to underestimate the amount of time needed to complete a future task, due in part to the reliance on overly optimistic performance scenarios.'"

In other words, they might feel it will all "flow" as it's supposed to, so there's no need to plan ahead. "Psychologists call this mindset 'optimism bias.' While being optimistic has its benefits, such as an improved state of well-being, getting caught in the constant cycle of optimism bias can cause issues at work that impact productivity."

In a piece for The Decision Lab, author Kira Warje,further explains, "Whether it's building a house, launching a product, or studying for an exam, people tend to create overly optimistic timelines and budgets. This happens because we focus too much on the best-case scenario and ignore relevant historical data or potential setbacks."

She also explains the notion that an outsider would estimate time differently, writing, "Interestingly, the planning fallacy only affects estimations about one’s own task completion times. Outside observers tend to lean in the opposite direction, overestimating the time needed to complete a task."

As for the early-arrivers, we perhaps overestimate the amount of time something will take. Often this is driven by anxiety in general, but to couch it in similar terms, this would be a pessimism bias.

In her article for VegOut Magazine, culinary writer and chef Maya Flores she shares eight traits that people who often arrive early share. One is "They have a physical discomfort with rushing." This, at least for me, is so true. And although early-arrivers often tend to pessimistically assess a situation, we are actively trying to avoid feeling the discomfort that comes with rushing.

rushing, planning, being late, anxiety, travel A person drives frantically. Giphy GIF by HRejterzy

Another trait Flores shares is, "They have a complex relationship with control." This doesn't imply they're "control freaks." Flores writes, "They've identified what's actually within their power (when they leave, how they prepare) and released the rest. That need for control over their own state—their calmness, their preparation, their transition time—remains non-negotiable."

And if one digs even further, there may be deep-seated reasons for it. "Many early arrivers have a story: the time they were devastatingly late for something important, a chaotic childhood where nothing started on time, or a formative experience of keeping someone important waiting. They're not necessarily traumatized, but they've decided: never again."

In the Reddit post "Is anybody else chronically, pathologically EARLY?" there are well over 400 comments, many of whom back up the theory that this began in our formative years. One commenter writes, "My mom was 10 minutes late for everything my entire life, and I’ve been mortified by it for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t a crazy amount of time, but it was for things you just can’t be late to, weddings, doctor’s appointment, jury duty, that kinda thing. I’m always early because of her haha."

clock, time management, being late, being early, planning fallacy A clock does its thing. Giphy GIF by MOODMAN

Another shares, "Same here. I spent so much time experiencing consequences for other people’s lateness or waiting endlessly to be picked up as if the person responsible didn’t know what time things ended, so I have just chosen the opposite. I’m rarely dramatically early, but I can’t be late to things that have a firm start time."

Then there are those who have mastered the art of being "exactly on time." In an article for The Expert Editor, author Lachlan Brown, discusses these folks, who retain traits from both groups. "They possess a heightened sense of responsibility" and "they value structure and routine." If one has these characteristics, without the anxiety that often comes with them (at least for us early birds), they can land somewhere in the coveted middle.