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Family

Single dad receives letter from late wife and immediately gets a DNA test

"She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now."

dna test, paternity test, single dad

A devastated man sitting by the ocean.

Ten months after a man’s wife passed away, he finally got the courage to read a letter she left him, which contained a devastating admission. The 4-year-old son they had together may not be his.

“My ‘darling’ wife passed away 10 months ago,” the man wrote on Reddit’s Off My Chest forum. “She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now. She told me how sorry she was that she didn’t have the guts to tell me this to my face when she was alive.”

In the letter, the wife revealed that there was a “good chance” that the son he thought was his wasn’t his biological child. A few weeks before their wedding day, the wife got drunk at her bachelorette party and had a one-night stand with another man. Soon after that night, she became pregnant but was unsure who the father was.



The man was torn whether or not to have the paternity test done. The child had only one parent in this world, and he would have to take care of him regardless. He also thought it was cowardly that his former wife would wait until she was no longer around to share the truth with him.

dads, dna test, paternity test

A father and son playing with a train.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

“So she thought she’d rather drop this bomb on my life when I could no longer confront her about it,” the man wrote. “Now that my son would only have one parent looking out for him, and she’d have no idea how I would even react. Maybe I should not have got the paternity test done. Maybe it might be better to live in ignorance. But I just had to know.”

The man took the paternity test and learned he wasn’t the child’s biological father.

“I’m devastated. This doesn’t change how I feel about my son,” he wrote. “He’s my whole world and he’s innocent. But boy, does it hurt. There’s so much going on in my head right now. I haven’t stopped crying. Thank god my son is at my parents' place for the day. I’d hate for him to see me like this.”

Facing a pain nearly too much for him to bear, the only outlet he had at the moment was reaching out to Reddit to find some solace. “I just needed to let this all out. Don’t have it in me to tell anyone in my life about this right now,” he wrote.

The commenters send him hundreds of messages of support to get him through the shock of first learning the truth about his family.

dna test, paterneity test, sad dad

A depressed man sit on the couch.

via Alena Darmel/Pexels

The most popular message was straightforward and honest. "All your feelings are valid, a lot of people will react with some kind of toxic positivity to things like these. Your feelings are valid. Each and everyone," femunndsmarka wrote.

Another commenter added that someday, his son will appreciate how he stepped up and did what was right in a very trying circumstance. “He is going to find out the truth one day. Imagine how much more he will love you knowing you didn’t leave him, even though he wasn’t yours,” ImNotGoodatThis6969.

Another commenter provided valuable insight from the son’s perspective.

"As an adopted child, I just want to thank you on behalf of your son. I deeply believe it changes nothing, family is not about blood, its about who you love, want to have by your side, and care for the most. Sending hugs, strength and gratitude," Mariuuq wrote.

The father at the heart of this story is understandably devastated because his life was upended almost overnight. But the hope in the story is that his trials also taught him a powerful truth—his love for his son goes much deeper than blood.


This article originally appeared on 9.28.23




Photo by Katerina Holmes|Canva

Mom in tears after another parent calls about daughter's lunch

People say having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. You send them off to school, practices or playdates and hope that the world treats them kindly because when they hurt, you hurt. Inevitably there will be times when your child's feelings are hurt so you do your best to prepare for that day.

But what prepares you for when the child you love so much winds up accidentally healing your inner child. A mom on TikTok, who goes by Soogia posted a video explaining a phone call she received from a parent in her daughter's classroom. The mom called to inform Soogia that their kids had been sharing lunch with each other.

Soogia wasn't prepared for what came next. The classmate's mother informed her that her son loves the food Soogia's daughter brings to school and wanted to learn how to cook it too.


That may seem like a small thing to some, but the small gesture healed a little bit of Soogia's inner child. Growing up as a Korean kid in California, Soogia's experience was a bit different than what her children are now experiencing.

"I guess I just never thought that my kids would be the generation of kids that could go to school and not only just proudly eat, but share their food with other kids that were just so open and accepting to it," Soogia says through tears. "Knowing that they don't sit there eating their food, feeling ashamed and wishing that their fried rice was a bagel instead or something like that. And I know, it sounds so small and it sounds so stupid, but knowing their experience at school is so different from mine in such a positive way is just so hopeful."

Soogia's tearful video pulled on the heartstrings of her viewers who shared their thoughts in the comments.

"Soogia! It will never be small. Your culture is beautiful & the littles are seeing that every day. You've even taught me so much. I'm grateful for you," one person says.

"Beautiful! I can see your inner child healing in so many ways," another writes.

"Welp. Now I'm sobbing at the airport. This is beautiful," someone reveals.

"These Gen Alpha babies really are a different, kinder generation. I love them so much," one commenter gushes.

You can hear the entire story below. You may want to grab a tissue.

@soogia1

These kids, man. They’re really something else. #culturalappreciation #breakingbread #sharing #

This article originally appeared on 3.23.24

A woman is complimented on her laugh.

Being the recipient of a great compliment can be really uplifting, especially if it is unexpected and makes you feel great about something you’re insecure about. Whether it’s our looks, personality, or how we handle our jobs, there’s always something we don’t feel right about and when someone gives an honest compliment, it can make you feel like a million bucks.

The great Mark Twain once said: “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Some compliments, when given by the right person at the right time, can be so powerful that they change the way we see ourselves. A Redditor named Curious-Repair-2606 asked people to share a “compliment you’ll never forget,” and nearly 2,000 people recounted the positive remarks they'll always remember.

The thread is a beautiful reminder to all of us to stop holding back on compliments and give them as freely as possible—that is, of course, if they are genuine.




Here are 17 of the best compliments that people will never forget.

1. "I wish you were my dad"

"Son's girlfriend: 'I wish you were my dad.' Could have cried."

2. "You're cute"

"A drunk girl at a concert told me I was cute. Still holding onto that one 5 years later."

3. A different type of guy

"She told me I was a 'man written by a woman.' Still not sure if it was a blessing or a curse I didn't pick up on the hint."

"As a lady, that usually means you’re doing a lot of things right. You’re a woman’s ideal."

"Definitely sounds like a blessing. Women often write fiction with emotionally competent, kind, passionate, hardworking men as the lead, so I'd say she was complimenting you."

4. "You're so beautiful"

"My fiancée Kayla, a few weeks before I lost her in a car accident, was watching me while I was doing something around our small apartment. She just kept smiling at me, and I asked her, 'Whatca smiling at baby?' She said so sweetly. 'You! You’re so beautiful.' I melted. As a man. I’ve never had such a wonderful compliment. My face turned bright red. She always made me smile."



5. The best dad

"My old boss and best friend were having lunch with a client and the subject of kids because the client was expecting. My boss said 'If you want to know how to be a good parent look at him (me) he's the best father I've ever known.'"

"That's a great compliment."

6. You're calm

"A friend called me calm and collected while I was dealing with social anxiety. They didn't know it, ofc m, but it made me question how I perceive myself compared to how others see me and helped me regain my self-confidence."

7. A princess

"When I was leaving my house for senior prom, a little girl walked by with her dad and said, 'Look, Daddy, a princess!' And i cried all my makeup off."

8. A great conversationalist

"14 years ago, a man sitting next to me on an airplane told me that I was the best conversationalist he'd ever met. He pointed to his headphones and said that he never talks to anyone on flights, but talked to me the whole time because I was so interesting to talk to. He gave me his business card and said he'd give me a sales job right now. It was SUCH a powerful complement that it changed the trajectory of my life and made me a much more confident person. Thanks, Monty, wherever you are now."



9. Radio voice

“'You have a great voice for radio.' Oddly enough I’ve gotten that same compliment a few times. Random for sure but was nice to hear."

"Same. I sometimes respond with 'Thanks. My wife also tells me that I have the face for radio too.'"

10. Great laugh

"Someone once told me my laugh could light up a room and it stuck with me."

11. Word to your mother

"I was 20 years old and working the ticket counter at the Amtrak station and I was chatting with a customer from Germany who was traveling solo around the US. It seemed like a friendly and standard conversation. I helped her with a smile, and she thanked me and walked away. Twenty minutes later she came back to my counter and handed me a small box of chocolate-covered blueberries and said, 'Please tell your mother she did a wonderful job raising you' and headed off to her gate. She didn't know that I had lost my mother to a drug overdose a couple months prior and was absolutely devastated on the inside. That single compliment and interaction has stuck with me for 22 years and I still think about that moment when I'm in a dark place. Wherever you are, friendly German tourist, thank you for giving me the strength to get through all those years ago."

12. Good-looking couple

"My ex and I were at Waffle House, and the waitress said, 'Wow, you two look like a couple out of a soap opera.' She sounded like that was a good thing."



13. A lively compliment

"My best friend got married a few months ago. I traveled to her city and stayed at her house for a week or so to help out and support her. Her sister has a 9-year-old son, and we spent some time together. It was my first time meeting them. After I got home from the wedding, my friend told me that the little boy had said, 'She breathed life into the place.' I just can’t forget what he said.

14. Good vibes

"Someone told me they liked my vibe. I’ll never forget that because it was about my personality and not my looks or style or something in that realm."

15. Great veins

"A nurse once said I’d make a great heroin addict because my veins are very visible."

16. Any hair will do

"My ex’s mom said 'I’ve seen you with long hair, a short bob, a long bob, and now a pixie, and you look absolutely beautiful with any hairstyle you choose.' I will never forget this compliment. I hated my ex, but her mom was such a sweetheart."

17. Never letting go

"That it took me 41 years to find you and I’m never letting go of you. That’s what my partner said to me the day we decided that we were more than friends and since then, our lives are just full of love and mutual respect."

Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight from "The Brady Bunch"

August 12 is National Middle Child Day in America, dedicated to recognizing the sibling in the middle. It’s a special day to highlight the kids who often get lost in the familial mix while the youngest hogs all the attention and the eldest has all the responsibilities.

Elizabeth Walker started the day in the 1980s because she thought middle children were “left out.”

When people discuss the plight of these kids, they often bring up Middle Child Syndrome, which some say leads kids caught in the middle to feel rebellious or have a chip on their shoulder. However, at Upworthy, we like looking at the bright side of things, so we’ve made a list of the 7 traits that make middle children amazing.


1. They’re good kids

Research shows that historically, middle children have been the most behaved out of the bunch. One study in 1964 and another in 2009 found that middle children were the least likely to act out.



2. They’re wonderful team players

Middle children are the way to go if you’re building a team, whether on the field or in the office. “They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic,” Katrin Schumann, author of "The Secret Power of Middle Children," told Psychology Today. “This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.”

3. They are successful

Schumann also says middle children are more successful than their older and younger siblings. She notes that at least 52% of US presidents were middle children, as were Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Jennifer Lopez, Princess Diana and Michael Jordan.

"When they realize how many the useful skills they've developed as a result of being in the middle, they are empowered in ways that positively influence their lives," Schumann said, according to Business Insider. The expert claims that middle children are successful because they had to vie for attention and aren't used to giving up on what they want.”



4. They are great negotiators

Middle children must develop excellent negotiating skills because they are at a power disadvantage in the home. "When middleborns are growing up, they don't get their way because they're the biggest and they don't get their way because they're the baby who was indulged,” Catherine Salmon, PhD. told CBS News.

5. They’re humble

Middle children have to learn humility the hard way because their birth order makes them the least important in the bunch. But even though it’s a harsh lesson, the benefits are great. “Humility can produce more happiness, positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self,” Tiara BLain writes in a PsyD-reviewed article for Verywell Mind. “They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not.”

6. They are creative

Middle children may also be more creative because they are “trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling,” Michele Borba, Ed.D., writes. Given that the eldest and youngest naturally stand out, the middle child may have to work a bit harder to receive attention for their creativity, so they push themselves further.

7. They’re likeable

Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, says middle children may be more “agreeable” and easygoing” than their siblings. “They are more extroverted, as well,” she writes. “They don’t have to lead the pack, and they don’t get the “babying” their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.”

Ultimately, we’re all individuals, so not all middle children will develop these qualities. But it’s nice to take a second and heap some praise on the kids who may have felt a little neglected during childhood by letting them know that they are special, too.

Just not as special as Marsha. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”


Family

15 tweets that only married people will understand

Even the perfect marriage (if that exists) would have its everyday frustrations.

Photo from Twitter.

A typical... frustrating day.

Being married is like being half of a two-headed monster. It's impossible to avoid regular disagreements when you're bound to another person for the rest of your life.

Even the perfect marriage (if there was such a thing) would have its daily frustrations. Funnily enough, most fights aren't caused by big decisions but the simple, day-to-day questions, such as "What do you want for dinner?"; "Are we free Friday night?"; and "What movie do you want to see?”


Here are some hilarious tweets that just about every married couple will understand.

grievances, irritable interactions, dissastifsfaction

The dinner debates...

Image from Twitter.

texting, resentments, bummer

What do we need from the store?

Image from Twitter.

competition, team, newlyweds

A silent competition.

Image from Twitter.

misplaced items, vanished, missing keys

Stop moving things around.

Image from Twitter.

altercations, , remedy, healing

Lack of empathy.

Image from Twitter.

breakfast in bed, bickering, quarrels

Breakfast in bed!

Image from Twitter.

deliberation, disputes, agitations

Load it; then start it.

Image from Twitter.

espoused, mated, joined in holy matrimony

Marrying up.

Image from Twitter.

united together, walking the path, joined at the hip

Watching shows together.

Image from Twitter.

little forms of affection, affectionate, considerate

Putting the seat down... or up?

Image from Twitter.

tolerant, understanding, all heart

Like me on Instagram. Like me!

Image from Twitter.

inside jokes, tweets, frustration

We both get up when I get up.

Image from Twitter.

funny marriage jokes, marriage memes, marriage tweets

Share and share alike.

Image from Twitter.

marriage, couples, relationships

There are rules to the bedroom.

Image from Twitter.

married life, wives, husbands

Fun with pets.

Image from Twitter.

This article originally appeared on 09.06.17

All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.


Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary.

They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.


They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.


science, calving, glaciers

A glacier falls into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going green

Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier melt

A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

Greenland, Antarctica, glacier calving

The glacier ice continues to erode away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

This article originally appeared on 11.04.15