If you're a woman, you've probably been called a "bitch" at some point in your life. Unfortunately, one of the places you've been called that is the dictionary. A petition on Change.org is trying to get the Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus of English to remove sexist and outdated synonyms for the word "woman." The petition, which was started by London-based communications strategist Maria Beatrice Giovanardi, has already received 30,000 signatures — more than the student body of Oxford. They're trying to redefine the way we talk about women. Literally.
Some of the synonyms for "woman" are derogatory, like "bitch." Some synonyms are both archaic and derogatory, like "wench" and "bird." Some are flat out sexist, like "baggage" and "frail." Some of the other synonyms include, "chick," "biddy", "bint," "broad," "piece," and "petticoat." Interestingly, most of the positive synonyms for "woman" refer to a woman as a "sweetheart" or "paramour." It's not just the synonyms that are the problem. The examples "show women as sex objects, subordinate, and/or an irritation to men." Not only that,"the definition of a 'man' is much more exhaustive than that of a 'woman' — with 25 examples for men, compared to only five for women," the petition reads.
The petition says that seeing the word "bitch" as a synonym for "woman" in the dictionary opens the door for harassment. "This is completely unacceptable by a reputable source like the Oxford University Press, but it's even more worrying when you consider how much influence they have in setting norms around our language," according to the petition. Name calling is a form of bullying, and according to a Pew Research poll, four in ten Americans have said that they've experienced online harassment. "We can take a serious step towards reducing the harm this is causing our young women and girls by looking at our language and this starts with the dictionary," the petition says. Words have meaning.
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The dictionary, however, says it doesn't start with the dictionary. It starts with you and me. Katherine Martin, the head of lexical content strategy at Oxford University Press, addressed the petition in a blog post. According to Martin, the words are in the dictionary because they're in our everyday language. "If there is evidence of an offensive or derogatory word or meaning being widely used in English, it will not be excluded from the dictionary solely on the grounds that it is offensive or derogatory," she wrote. She also noted that offensive words are labeled as such.
The dictionary is open to change, but it has to come from the people first. The dictionary doesn't influence the language, the language influences the dictionary. "The relationship between the dictionary and the living language is more like a map than a set of directions; it can tell you the contours of the landscape, but not direct you on where to go or how to get there. As the usage of English speakers changes over time, the dictionary changes to reflect that new lexical terrain. The current cultural moment has seen an increasing acknowledgment of the real-life impact that words can have on individuals and groups. As this awareness leads to changes in linguistic behaviour, the dictionary will seek to record them," Martin continued.
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It doesn't sound like the dictionary is going to budge on removing "bit"or "biddy" anytime soon. But at the end of the day, it's not up to the dictionary to define who we are. Nor is it up to someone who goes around calling women "baggage" and "birds." Only we can write our own meaning. The best way to get "bitch" taken out of the dictionary is to remove it from our vocabulary altogether.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.