A couple years ago I shared my story about growing up as the child of an alcoholic. After years spent screaming into journals, wrestling with how to move beyond the mess and the pain, it was cathartic. But something incredibly unexpected happened after the story was published.
My inbox exploded with messages from readers all over the world who shared their stories, in shock that mine sounded so similar. My tribe. These people knew exactly what I had been through and had felt it all in their own way.
Recognizing I wasn't alone was empowering, and my newfound community inspired me to keep moving forward.
I took baby steps at first and focused on small victories. The process was slow, and I still got stuck sometimes in heartbreak or waiting for the next glass to shatter. Yet I was still celebrating life every day — even when it was hard.
[rebelmouse-image 19473071 dam="1" original_size="860x470" caption="GIF from "Parks and Recreation"/NBC." expand=1]GIF from "Parks and Recreation"/NBC.
Life will keep chugging along in its messy, complicated style, but what if we found ways to celebrate — to feel good — in the midst of it all?
Here are 27 ideas to keep you motivated, happy, joyful, positive, and having fun no matter what life throws at you. Whether you're grieving a huge loss or trying to survive a rainy day, these activities are simple, doable, and will remind you to celebrate your greatness.
1. Treat yourself to dinner after your boss gives you a pat on the back or you accomplish something big at work.
I love this place.
2. Keep a thankfulness journal.
I keep mine close by so I can grab it when I’m in a slump to look back on little memories to stay motivated and focused on the good.
3. Throw a potluck! Make the cookies and invite your friends.
4. Act like a tourist in your own city.
5. Load up on popcorn and candy at the movies.
I kicked back and blubbered through the movie "Wonder." The story is a beautiful reminder of learning to celebrate our brokenness.
6. Don’t just wing it. Plan your week ahead so you have time to relax.
7. Take a bath bomb bath.
8. Blast your favorite song in your car.
Current favorite: "Sing to You" by John Splithoff
9. Use a dry erase marker to write positive notes to yourself on your bathroom mirror.
Mine reads "I am worth fighting for."
Photo by the author.
10. Read a book that will expand your perspective beyond your own circumstances.
I love books like "Vindicating the Vixens: Revisiting Sexualized, Vilified, and Marginalized Women of the Bible," which are by a collaborative group of authors with varying viewpoints. They challenge my thinking.
11. Take a break from screens. Read a magazine or a newspaper or head outside for a walk to people-watch.
12. Pick yourself flowers — just because.
13. Take a picture with your family or friends and put it on your work desk. It will remind you that you're loved.
Photo by the author.
14. Send snail-mail birthday cards. Trust me, you’ll feel just as celebratory as the birthday star.
15. Decorate for ridiculous holidays.
16. Remember your personal milestones. Treat yourself when you’ve owned your house for five years or paid off student loan debt.
17. Get enough sleep. Feeling rested can completely change your outlook.
18. Change the conversation in your head. Instead of yelling at the driver who cuts you off on the way to work, keep singing your favorite song.
19. Make a mood board to keep you inspired.
Pinterest works great for digital mood boards, or work with your hands and collage your own paper version.
20. Let it go.
I put hard memories and pending dreams on little notes in a box on my nightstand as a way to turn my focus, calm my anxiety, and move forward.
21. Follow people on social media who will motivate and encourage you.
I love following Brighton Keller and Hannah Brencher for real-life stories about how to find beauty in everyday ordinary moments.
A post shared by Hannah Brencher Sheats (@hannahbrencher) on
22. Be OK with shifting your plans.
Maybe a friend needs to skip the gym because of a hard day. Get a manicure or go for wings instead and find a reason to celebrate.
23. Throw a surprise party for someone you love.
I threw my mom a surprise 49th birthday party that she never saw coming. She showed up in sweats to a room full of people. Oops...
24. Take your passions and gifts seriously. Go to a conference that will help you develop your skills in something that really excites you, and meet people who are passionate about the same things you are.
25. Take the pottery or the woodworking class or learn something newnow — you don't have to wait for life to slow down to find time.
26. Try out a new workout class, in person or at home on your own with an online video.
These days, I’m loving barre class. I sweat like crazy and my body aches for days after, but it helps me celebrate that I showed up and pushed my limit.
27. Laugh!
Let yourself laugh so hard your abs hurt. Hang out around that special person in your life you can count on for good laughs.
Sure, this list may seem trivial. But these small choices add up, shaping us into people who celebrate instead of dwelling on the pain and negativity.
Life will still throw us curveballs. Maybe we’ll catch them or maybe we won’t. But you deserve a life of celebrating you. Go find your joy.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."