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Joy

Couple buys new house and finds abandoned dog tied to a tree by the old homeowners

Who could abandon that sweet face?

Couple buys new house and finds abandoned dog tied to a tree by the old homeowners
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
brown short coated dog on tree branch

Molly, an adorable, affectionate 10-year-old pit bull, found herself tied to a tree after her owners had abandoned her.

According to The Dodo, Molly had “always been a loyal dog, but, unfortunately, her first family couldn’t reciprocate that same love back,” and so when the house was sold, neither Molly nor the family’s cat was chosen to move with them. While the cat was allowed to free roam outside, all Molly could do was sit and wait. Alone.

Luckily, the young couple that bought the house agreed to take the animals in as part of their closing agreement, and as soon as the papers were signed, they rushed over to check in.

In a TikTok video, April Parker, the new homeowner, walks up to Molly, who is visibly crestfallen with teary eyes. But as soon as Parker begins cooing, “Baby girl…you’re gonna get a new home,” the pitty instantly perks up—all smiles and tail wagging.

“We are going to make her life so good,” Parker wrote in the video’s caption. “She will never be left all alone tied to a tree.”

@geaux75 The people that sold our house to us left behind their 10yr old dog they had since it was a puppy. I was so stressed we wouldnt get the house and something bad would happeb to her. We are going to maje her life so good. She will never be left all alone tied to a tree. 😭😢@roodytoots ♬ Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) [2018 Remaster] - Kate Bush

The video has been seen upwards of 4 million times. Countless people commented on how enraging it was to see a dog treated so carelessly.

“I’ve had my dog since she was 7 weeks old. She just turned 10 a few days ago. I literally cannot imagine doing this,” one person wrote.”

Another added: “The tears in her eyes…she doesn’t understand why they could just leave her, it breaks my heart. People like that shouldn’t be allowed to be pet owners.”

Subsequent videos show Parker freeing Molly from her leash and introducing the sweet pup to her husband, with whom she was instantly smitten. It’s clear that this doggo was both relieved and elated to be taken in by her new family.

Since being rescued, Molly has accompanied her new mom and dad everywhere.

@geaux75 Replying to @ohitscourtney ♬ Lucky Girl - Carlina


“She’s sticking to our side,” Parker wrote. “She won’t stop following us around. It’s so sweet.”

Parker has created an entire TikTok channel documenting her newfound pet’s journey, aptly named “Molly’s New Life,” showing Molly enjoying warm baths, plenty of treats, cuddles…all the finer things in life.

But what Molly seems to enjoy most of all is car rides:

@geaux75 Taking Molly to get a treat! Stay tuned!! #mollysnewlife #goodgollymissmolly ♬ original sound - Mollysnewlife 🐾🐕💗

And in case you’re wondering, the kitty is doing well, too, though it still prefers to stay outdoors.

Molly also has two indoor cat siblings who instantly welcomed her into the family. The video below shows one of them, Joofus, comforting a trembling Molly with kisses during a thunderstorm.

@geaux75 We had a big storm this morning and Molly was having a hard time. Joofus got on the bed and started comforting her. It was the sweetest thing. They got snuggled up and Molly went to sleep. Animals are amazing. #mollysnewlife #petsarefamily ♬ I Won't Let Go - Rascal Flatts

It seems that Molly has gotten the safe, loving home she’s deserved all along.

We know that animal abandonment is fairly common. According to The Zebra, almost 4 million dogs are either given up to shelters or abandoned each year. And still, it’s really hard to fathom how humans can treat such innocent creatures with such blatant disregard when they provide so much pure joy.

Thankfully, there are folks out there like the Parkers who know that taking care of animals like Molly is one of life’s most precious offerings.

Stay up-to-date with the rest of Molly’s journey by following her on TikTok.


This article originally appeared on 5.31.23

Education

Youth interest in STEM peaks around age 11. UScellular wants to change that.

Kids are losing interest in STEM subjects between ages 11 and 15. Here's what that means for future innovation.

Photo courtesy of UScellular

Kids on a field trip learn from Sania Naseem, Senior RF Planning Engineer at UScellular.

Imagine being a 12-year-old girl in a small town who’s interested in computers. You’ve learned a bit of programming online, but you don’t know anyone who works in the tech field and your school district doesn’t have the kinds of classes you need to explore further.

How likely would you be to keep and pursue that interest?

Since the internet changed everyone’s lives in the 1990s, there’s been a push for Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) education. Universal reliance on technology has made STEM careers not just desirable but vital, and the speed at which those fields are moving means we need young people to stay interested in them.

Research indicates that we’ve largely succeeded in reaching kids when they’re young—children demonstrate a deep fascination with STEM subjects up to age 11. But something shifts during adolescence. Past age 11, interest in STEM starts to wane, often dissipating by age 15.

The question is why.


To get to the bottom of this STEM age/interest gap mystery, wireless carrier UScellular partnered with developmental psychologist and researcher Richard Rende, Ph.D. Through a state-of-the-art analysis of the research, Dr. Rende helped uncover the barriers that prevent youth—particularly girls and those living in rural communities—from maintaining and nurturing their interest in STEM.

kids walking with an adult guide near a school busStudents taking a STEM field tripPhoto courtesy of UScellular

Dr. Rende found that keeping kids from losing STEM interest as they become teens requires programs that are equitable, relatable, relevant and supportive.

Here’s what those four drivers look like in practice:

Equitable

- Bringing STEM programs to rural areas that don’t have access to advanced courses or school-based curriculum
- Countering the notion that STEM isn’t for everyone and offering buffers for when kids are confronted with stereotypes or biases

Relatable

- Exposing girls to women in STEM professions who share similar backgrounds in smaller and rural communities
- Having STEM professionals share their experiences growing up so youth don’t see them as “superheroes” doing something unattainable

Relevant

- Programs and field trips that demonstrate how STEM is applied, especially in ways that connect to the local environment or technology kids already use
- Incorporating kids’ voices to help guide the elements of a program

Supportive

- Provide supportive mentorship, especially when projects become more complicated and require emotion regulation and resilience
- Teach cognitive skills that will help kids believe they have the capacity to succeed in STEM subjects

kids on a STEM field trip Kids learning about cell towers from Cheryl Dennard, Senior Manager of Core Services Engineering at UScellularPhoto courtesy of UScellular

To test out his findings before sharing them with the world, Dr. Rende worked with UScellular’s non-profit partner, YWCA, which has an after-school and summer program called TechGYRLS, designed to inspire girls in grades 3 to 8 to consider future careers in STEM fields. Together they created a refreshed STEM program guide incorporating Dr. Rende’s research and worked with focus groups at various YWCA locations to get feedback.

“What we see to date is that programming and mentoring to ‘train’ kids to be STEM people is not always enough to sustain and encourage interest during the transition to adolescence, especially for underserved youth,” says Dr. Rende. “We need to help them see the opportunities in STEM that spark their curiosity and gain belief that they can confidently explore all the possibilities available to them in STEM, including those that go beyond the traditional STEM careers like mathematician or scientist. It could be a vet, a nurse, wireless network engineer, arborist, audio engineer, turf scientist, or mechanical engineer and may not be a career that requires years and years of higher education.”

After-school enrichment programs like YWCA’s TechGYRLS can be found in communities all over the country, and parents, guardians and teachers can help the kids in their communities by identifying similar programs and encouraging them to participate. If teachers or youth-focused non-profits want to create their own STEM program, Dr. Rende’s whitepaper can help inform their approach and design to keep kids interested.

UScellular and YWCA are working on a digital version of the program guide to increase access for even more youth and help educators improve their STEM programming. Longer term, the perceptions and attitudes of the TechGYRLS participants will be measured to evaluate if the current decline in STEM interest is being reduced or averted. Advancing innovation requires people who pursue careers in STEM fields, so the more interest we can spark and sustain in young people, the brighter our future will look.

Learn more about how UScellular is supporting STEM education here.
Pop Culture

Airbnb host finds unexpected benefits from not charging guests a cleaning fee

Host Rachel Boice went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw major perks because of it.

@rachelrboice/TikTok

Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of.

However, some hosts are opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.”

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee. Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approaches.

Speaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.


This article originally appeared on 11.08.23

Yes, school lunches CAN be easy, healthy and inexpensive.

Parents, let’s face it: prepping school lunches can feel like trying to solve a complex math equation. It's got to be nutritious, appealing, fast, and let's not forget…within budget. But what if we told you there’s a secret weapon that can make this whole ordeal a breeze? Enter: O Organics from Albertsons.

O Organics offers a wide range of affordable, USDA organic goodies that are perfect for school lunches. From crunchy apple slices to delicious, creamy greek yogurt, they've got you covered. Plus, their prices won’t break the bank, proving that healthy eating doesn’t have to be a luxury.

Now, let’s get down to the good stuff: the food! Here are some simple, kid (and wallet) friendly lunch ideas—made entirely with O Organics ingredients—to help you ditch the processed junk and give your kids the fuel they need to conquer the classroom:

1. Pasta Salad

  • Main: A cold pasta salad made with O Organics whole-grain rotini pasta, O Organics chopped vegetables (like cucumbers, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes), and Italian dressing. Add protein with chickpeas or a three bean blend.
  • Side: O Organics apple slices.
  • Snack: A serving of O Organics Greek yogurt, with some granola for a fun topping.

2. Egg Salad Sandwich

  • Main: A sandwich using whole wheat bread filled with a mixture of O Organics hard boiled eggs, mayo (or Greek yogurt for extra protein), mustard, dill, onion powder, salt and pepper.
  • Side:O Organics tortilla chips and salsa.
  • Snack: A pack of O Organics fruit strips.

3. Peanut Butter Apple Wrap (great for toddlers)

  • Main:O Organics peanut butter spread on a couple of flour soft taco tortillas, topped with thinly sliced apples. Drizzle some O Organics honey, roll it up and voila!
  • Side:O Organics baby-cut carrots with a side of hummus.
  • Snack:O Organics cottage cheese.

4. Quickie Quesadilla

  • Main: A tortilla filled with O Organics Mexican Style Shredded Cheese, black beans, and a sprinkle of chili powder.
  • Side: A couple of hard boiled O Organics eggs.
  • Snack: Ants on a log.

5. A Hot Dog…that stays hot

  • Main: You know the drill. Hot dog (we recommended the O Organics Beef Franks). Mustard. Cheese. Bun.
  • Side: A colorful side salad with spring mix, cherry tomatoes, and vinaigrette dressing.
  • Snack:O Organics banana chips.

But how the heck do you keep the hot dog hot? We’ve got just the tip, courtesy of Allrecipes.com:

Step 1

  • Preheat an insulated beverage container by filling it with boiling water. Let stand for 15 to 20 minutes. Right before leaving, dump out water and replace with more boiling water. The preheating keeps it hot for a longer time. Place the hot dog into the water and close the lid.

Step 2

  • When your child is ready for lunch, they can take the hot dog out of the container and place it on the bun.

Remember: This list is just a starting point. You can totally customize it to your kid’s needs and preferences. You can even involve your kiddos in the lunch-packing process to make it more fun for everyone. Let them help choose the menu, make a shopping list, pack their lunches…even grow their own veggies! If you’re feeling ambitious, that is.

No matter how you choose to give your kids the best possible start to their day, making small changes and taking advantage of resources like O Organics can help make it happen in a sustainable and enjoyable way.

So, what are you waiting for? Shop O Organics now exclusively at Albertsons, Safeway or any sister store. Your kids' bodies (and taste buds) will thank you.

@jac.rsoe8/TikTok

Some dads just get it.


There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud.

The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents do have love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort in some way when their kid suffers.

Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) recently shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.


“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “...boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix 😂”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad never really looks at her, but shifts the focus by describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever.

Watch:

@jac.rose8 #divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok ♬ original sound - Jacqueline

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that words aren’t always necessary.

‘“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best 🥰”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner. Maybe boomers are okay after all.

Really, it goes to show that great parents can be found in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don't need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.


This article originally appeared on 6.12.23

Kids at Seattle Center during Bumbershoot, 1973

A lot has changed since the 1970s. If you took a 20-year-old from 2024 and put them in a time machine back to 1974, they’d have a hard time figuring out how to use a telephone, get a good picture on the television set with rabbit ears, or buy tickets for the Pink Floyd or Jackson 5 concert.

They’d also probably be appalled by the number of people who smoke, the massive amount of litter on the streets, and the general lack of concern for the safety of children. In certain cities, they’d also be blown away by the amount of smog in the air.

A Reddit user directing a production that takes place in the '70s wanted to learn what life was like in the “Me Decade,” so they asked the AkkReddit forum for “some behaviors from that time that have disappeared,” and he received over 2,400 responses.

Some were bittersweet remembrances of a carefree and unsupervised childhood. At the same time, others recalled a time when children were often the targets of abuse and subject to many traumatic experiences that they were discouraged from speaking about.


We looked at the thread and chose the 17 best responses to behaviors from the ‘70s that “have disappeared.”



1. Playing with the phone cord

"Fidgeting with the long coiled cord while talking on the phone—like twirling your finger into the coil."

"We had a long cord that you could swing like a jump rope."

"Answering every phone call with some variation of '<last name> residence, <first name> speaking.'"

2. Smelling cigarette smoke

"Smoking everywhere all the time."

"I remember the teachers lounge in my grammar school oozing smoke."

"4 hour drives to see Nannie, all windows closed, both mom and dad smoking. Think of it, three 3 small kids getting poisioned from the 2nd hand smoke, pleading to stop or open the window and Dad saying 'get used to it, the world smokes' andMom saying the cracked open wi dow was 'too noisy'. Breathing through our coat sleeves with the arms opening under their car seats, where the fresh air came out. Four hours of constant nausea and illness that lingerd for 30 min after."

3. Soda cans for candy

"Returning soda bottles to the store and getting enough money back to buy a candy bar."

"Yes, having work and save up for the candy bar or pack of gum. Or being lucky enough to find a penny for the gum ball machine outside the grocery store. "

4. Clothes lasted forever

"The lengths everyone went to make things last, all our clothes were patched or sewn up and handed down. New clothes shopping was maybe once a year. Or whenever the Sears catalog came out."



5. Payphones

"Checking the change slot in the phone booths in case people forgot their coins. I also remember when phone calls were a dime!"

6. Calling the Time Lady

"367-1234. At the time the time will be 11:22 and 20 seconds — beep”

7. Playing outside all day

"When being sent outside to play meant you were given a radius to stay in like 'our neighboorhood,' and a time to be home was 'when the street lights come on.'"

8. TV was appointment viewing

"Reading TV Guide for program times."

"There was no way to record a show until VCRs came came out, so you watched a show when it was scheduled to be broadcast, and missed it if you didn’t turn it on at the time it started. So, families had to negotiate if there was more than one show on that people wanted to watch. Prime time was a big deal because that was when the three networks played their top shows."



9. Rabbit ears

"Wrapping tin foil squares on 'rabbit ear' antennas."

"When the picture got fuzzy, slapping the side of the TV set to correct the picture."

10. The phone book had many uses

"That big phone book was the booster seat for the youngest kid at the table."

11. CB radios

"References the cb radio culture during normal conversations. Everyone understood."

"Ten four"

"Breaker, breaker"

"You got that right, good buddy."

12. Long distance was pricey

"Making local calls vs long distance calls. Had to keep calls short to relatives because they were long distance. Making collect calls."

"Right, and you might add the cost of long distance calls was X amount per minute. Also, moving into a new place required a call to the telephone company to have a phone installed in various rooms and you had to preorder the types and colors."

"If you wanted to make an overseas call, you had to call the international operator at least a couple of hours before the call to schedule it."



13. Fake collect calls

"Making fake collect calls to your parents to come pick you up. 'You have received a collect call from … ‘we’re done and out front!’… do you wish to accept the call? Nope. Already got the message."

14. Before scrolling, we read

"Reading. Reading the newspaper. Reading the cereal boxes at breakfast. Reading on the toilet. Doing crosswords and word games. Before phones, you had to engage more with what was around."

"If there was no Reader’s Digest in the bathroom, you had to read the shampoo ingredients. Sodium laurel sulfate, etc."

15. The bank line

"When Friday rolled around, and you needed money for the weekend, you went to the bank, stood in line and made a withdrawal."
"We took our checks to the bank on Friday to be cashed, some for the checking account and some for spending cause everything was paid for with cash."

16. Unsafe seating in trucks

"No seatbelts, but drivers could get in trouble if car was overfilled, so a mom would yell 'duck' if she saw a cop. This would be a Volkswagen Bug with 7-8 kids piled up going to the beach or park. Totally normal to pile kids in the bed of a pickup truck - sometimes with folding chairs. Also common to grab the back of a car while you were skateboarding (there was a word for this I don't remember)."

17. Staring at the sky

"Laying down in the grass and looking at the sky. Leisure time died when portable entertainment became a thing, particularly nobile phones. The level of disconnection that's required to just stare at clouds or stars (and be happy doing it) is sorely missing nowadays. At least I miss it."

Grzegorz Walczak/Unsplash & Reddit

Many of us are familiar with the signs of an abusive relationship.

Physical violence is only one of many. Extreme jealousy, verbal insults, controlling behavior, and victim blaming are all hallmark signs that someone is an abusive partner, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

What we rarely talk about, though, is that for as often as men are the perpetrators of abuse, they can just as easily be victims.



Hundreds of men recently took to Reddit to share their own harrowing stories of abusive relationships.

As many as 1 in 4 men have been victims of some form of physical abuse by a partner. For women, it's as many as 1 in 3.

That's a staggering percentage of people.

The grim and heartbreaking thread helped shed some light on an under-recognized reality: Abuse is abuse, and it has no gender.

Here are some of the main takeaways from the powerful thread, which is worth a full-read.

Note: Last names have been left out to protect victims of abuse.

1. The support system for men who are victims of abuse is extremely poor.

Robert, who shared his story of an abusive relationship in the thread, wrote that his ex would threaten him and lash out physically, but no one would ever take his complaints seriously.

"She would throw knives at stuff and wreck the house," he wrote. "I went through 16 police calls before one of them finally gave her a charge for assault."

When the two were finally separated (he writes that she was arrested on a separate charge), he had to turn to information meant for battered women for help putting his life back together.

The sad truth is that the shelters and groups out there dedicated to helping men in abusive relationships are depressingly scarce.

2. Men can be victims of physical abuse too. Often at the detriment of their "manhood."

a man looking at his cell phone in the dark

Photo by Richard Stachmann on Unsplash

It's hard enough for many men being abused to find people who'll believe them. It's made even tougher that they might be made out to look like less of a man if they come clean.

"It's like I was supposed to just take it because I was a man," Robert wrote.

Tom, another man who shared his story, wrote that he was "embarrassed" when his ex would hit him during arguments, in public, but that he never even considered it abuse until long after they broke up.

Research supports the idea that men might be even less likely than women to report physical abuse. And we wonder why phrases like, "Man up!" are so harmful.

3. The patterns of abusive behavior are consistent whether abusers are men or women.

Another Reddit user, William, said he wasn't allowed to hang out with certain people his partner didn't like,and the controlling and manipulative behavior took a heavy toll on him.

"I knew deep down no matter what I did to try and make her happy it was never good enough. I never felt so useless," he wrote.

Many men in the thread, like Richie, wrote that the psychological trauma from their abusive relationship was the most difficult thing to reconcile and recover from.

Mood swings, illogical fights, and suicidal threats from Richie's partner pushed him to a breaking point.

"It wore me down to the bone," he wrote. "I was a shell of myself at one point."

The original thread on Reddit makes one thing abundantly clear: The problem of partner violence and abuse is likely much bigger than many people realize.

Over 10 million men and women in the United States are victims of physical domestic abuse every year; a number that doesn't include behaviors like lying, threats, and manipulation.

Toxic concepts of masculinity can sometimes lead to men becoming abusers, but as this thread shows, they can also paralyze men who need help.

Fixing our culture's broken idea of what makes a man could be a crucial step toward ending domestic violence and abuse for both men and women.

In the meantime, we can listen to the victims' stories. Everyone, man or woman, deserves to be heard.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship and wants to seek help, start by contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which offers support for men, women, and children.


This article originally appeared on 4.12.17

A couple holding up a photo of their baby.

Is it ever acceptable for someone pregnant to lie to their family about the baby’s gender? A woman on Reddit who is 11 weeks pregnant made the case for why she was going to tell her parents and her in-laws that she is about to have a baby boy, even though NIPT testing revealed she was having a girl.

The woman already has 2 boys, ages 2 and 4.

The woman laid out 6 reasons why she and her husband want to tell their parents they are having a boy. Many of them revolve around the fact that her mother-in-law has been pressuring them to have a girl—which is ridiculous because it’s not something the couple can choose.

Here are the 6 reasons the couple want to conceal the truth about the child they are expecting:


1. Mother-in-law’s pressure

“My MIL literally yelled “NOOOOOOOOO” when we told her the gender of our second boy (having kept the first a secret). She has also told me multiple times I need to give her a granddaughter,” the woman wrote.

2. Her boys may get jealous

“MIL will start sending clothes (she lives in a different country to us) as soon as she finds out, and we are conscious of how our two boys will feel about things arriving for the new baby and not them,” the woman wrote.

babies, pregnant woman, redditA couple holding a pregnany woman's belly.via John Looey/Unsplash

3. No favoritism

“I want to avoid the drama and upset of MIL treats unborn baby girl more favourably than she did my boys (she already shows extreme favouritism to her favourite niece over other girls and boys in the family and sees nothing wrong with it,” the woman wrote.

4. Don’t want mother-in-law to fly out

“We want to avoid MIL coming to our country for the birth (she came a few months later for our boys) as we want to get settled and think if it’s a girl, she will want to come ASAP,” she wrote.

5. Birth pressure

“Our eldest was born ‘code blue’ and required resuscitation, and before him, we had a miscarriage, and I’m worried about the added pressure on me to birth the first granddaughter from our parents,” she wrote.

6. Surprise!

“We think it would be really exciting once born if she’s a big surprise for both sides as she will be the first granddaughter on both sides,” she wrote.

The woman concluded her post by asking if she and her husband would be in the wrong for lying to their family. “We are worried, though, that by telling our parents she’s a boy when she isn’t, they will buy gendered clothing or that they will be mad at us for lying for six months. Is this going to backfire on us?” the woman asked.

babies, pregnancy, familyA pregnant woman sitting on a chair.via Jefferson Santu/Unsplash

An overwhelming number of commenters thought that the woman and her husband would be wrong if they lied to their family about the baby’s gender.

"It's bad juju to start your little girl's life by lying about her. Just tell everyone their sh**y behavior means everyone is on an information diet. It'll drive them crazy, so you'll get your revenge that way. The previous behavior makes them ***holes, but if you lie, you will be as well. Congratulations, but don't lie,” Secretly_S41ty wrote.

"I read the whole post and still don't understand why you think lying is the right call. Not telling them gender would work. Telling them the gender but establishing boundaries (you're not visiting us until __, do not send more than __ articles of clothing) would work. Lying to them is...well, disrespectful. It sounds like MIL is over the top, but I don't think a lie is the solution,” FacetiuosTomato added.

A few supporters thought the story’s real villain was the mother-in-law, but they still didn’t like the idea of lying.

"You are just trying to avoid craziness and favoritism. That's understandable. I think the other persons suggested not saying the gender at all, and being surprised at the end is best. If this is what you want to keep the baby's gender secret, this neutral response is best,” AgateCatCreations076 wrote.

“I'd simply just tell everyone you are waiting until the baby is born to find out the sex and request that nobody buy anything as you already have plenty of things from the boys. If she assumes it's another boy from that comment, then so be it,” Dazzling-Landscape41 added.

After reading the comments, the couple changed their minds and decided against lying to their parents. Instead, they’ve chosen to keep their gender a secret and enforce strict boundaries with their family.

“We will be saying we don’t know and addressing any hopes for a girl with a request to stop pressuring us to have a girl and that we better not witness any gender disappointment if it’s a boy, and if it’s a girl, we better not see a different reaction or treatment than to the boys, ever,” the woman wrote.

Ultimately, it’s unfortunate that some women have to deal with pressure from their families about childbirth, especially when it’s something out of their control, such as gender. But it’s nice that the woman and her husband received some sound advice from people on Reddit who didn’t think it was right to stoop to their mother-in-law’s level by lying. They also made a great point about not bringing their child into this world around a lie.

Sometimes, when things get heated with family, it’s easy to miss the forest from the trees. The good news is that some thoughtful folks online helped the couple navigate a tricky situation.

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