A parody of 'The Apprentice' puts real words from Catholic presidential candidates in perspective.

Before November 2016, we have a lot to learn about the presidential candidates and their visions for the future of the country — and the planet.

Part of that means really listening to what they're saying — especially when it comes to the issues that affect us all, like the climate.

In the parody below, the pope takes a different throne — not unlike a certain presidential candidate was "fired" from by a certain TV network. He acts as judge and jury in a competition between five self-described Catholic presidential hopefuls.


And as each candidate states their case, you might join me in thinking, "Holy geez, this is way too close to reality." Take a look:

The actor playing the pontiff opens with some familiar words.

They're familiar because the real Pope Francis wrote them in an encyclical. He was quoting Patriarch Bartholomew, the archbishop of Constantinople and spiritual leader to over 300 million Orthodox Christians.


Like the pope, each contestant is played by a highly skilled actor whose lines were modeled after actual remarks made by the individuals they portray.

All GIFs via SumOfUs/YouTube.

Here are five things pope don't play when it comes to a presidential climate plan:

1. God wants us to burn fossil fuels.


Blessed? Or cursed?

As contrary to Catholic values (according to Pope Francis) as that sounds, the ideas were lifted right out of a selectively Catholic presidential candidate's response on behalf of the opposing party to President Obama's 2013 State of the Union address.

2. Talking about climate change? So stupid.

Yes, please. Make it stop.

The candidate quoted above, an “evangelical Catholic," thinks not being stupid means asking the president not to mention climate change during his visit to New Orleans for the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. The same candidate also happens to believe gay people, not greenhouse gases, are to blame for rising severe weather events.

3. Scientists, you do you. We'll be over here. Not listening.

Right. And we'll leave the not talking to you.

The candidate behind this statement hears what he wants to hear when it comes to the voice of his church. Of course, he doesn't seem to realize the irony of what he's saying.

He wants the church to "leave science to the scientists," but he'd rather lawmakers completely ignore the consensus among 97% of climate scientists that global warming is likely caused by human activity.

4. Energy policy is like parenting. You can't play favorites.

I'm beginning to think we shouldn't from this group either.

The spiritually confused candidate represented here wants to end all federal energy subsidies — not just for oil and gas (which amounts to almost half a trillion dollars over the last century) but also for solar, wind, and other renewable energy development.

He doesn't want to "pick winners," but oil has been the big winner of the past 100 years. Investing in renewables is really more like practicing good sportsmanship.

5. Climate change is real. (Wait, what?)


OK, that's what I'm talking about! Maybe we're onto something here?

Go on...

Oh, damnit! What a piece of work. Despite publicly stating that he believes climate change is to some degree caused by humans, this presidential hopeful's actions as a governor suggest just the opposite.

While his state legislature — his constituents' representative body — has urged him to rejoin a regional climate change plan, he has ignored their pleas, calling it "useless."

To tell it like it is, talk is cheap, buddy.

It's starting to seem fashionable among certain Catholic candidates to deny the wisdom of their spiritual leader.

Pained nose-grab, indeed.

That begs the question of who they actually follow.

The video closes with a clue.


If this is the first time you're hearing about the Koch brothers, they're billionaires who want to dominate the American political landscape. And they're spending a fortune to do it through elections and legislation.

Money in politics isn't just a threat to democracy. It's a threat to the planet.

And it has been a problem on both sides of the aisle. But we can be hopeful. Research out of Yale University shows that a lot of conservative voters are being misrepresented on climate issues, and it's just a matter of time before they take action.

The good news is we have until November 2016 to separate the wheat from the chaff and rally our communities for a climate plan both Pope Francis and the world can (literally) live with.


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SumOfUs

I'm staring at my screen watching the President of the United States speak before a stadium full of people in North Carolina. He launches into a lie-laced attack on Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, and the crowd boos. Soon they start chanting, "Send her back! Send her back! Send her back!"

The President does nothing. Says nothing. He just stands there and waits for the crowd to finish their outburst.

WATCH: Trump rally crowd chants 'send her back' after he criticizes Rep. Ilhan Omar www.youtube.com

My mind flashes to another President of the United States speaking to a stadium full of people in North Carolina in 2016. A heckler in the crowd—an old man in uniform holding up a TRUMP sign—starts shouting, disrupting the speech. The crowd boos. Soon they start chanting, "Hillary! Hillary! Hillary!"

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via EarthFix / Flickr

What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

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Policing women's bodies — and by consequence their clothes — is nothing new to women across the globe. But this mother's "legging problem" is particularly ridiculous.

What someone wears, regardless of gender, is a personal choice. Sadly, many folks like Maryann White, mother of four sons, think women's attire — particularly women's leggings are a threat to men.

While sitting in mass at the University of Notre Dame, White was aghast by the spandex attire the young women in front of her were sporting.

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Men are sharing examples of how they step up and step in when they see problematic behaviors in their peers, and people are here for it.

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Not only did the good guys show up for the thread, but their stories show how men can interrupt situations when they see women being mistreated and help put a stop to it.

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