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A gynecologist tweeted about periods, and a great discussion about gender happened.

A trending hashtag started an important conversation about what words we use.

How would the world be different if men had periods?

It's certainly not a new question. More than 40 years ago, Gloria Steinem wrote "If Men Could Menstruate," a sharply satirical take on how society treats men versus women.

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.


"So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?" wrote Steinem. "Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event."

She goes on, joking that if men could have periods, they'd "brag about how long and how much," they'd view them as signs of strength and masculinity, and they'd fight to ensure "sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free." Reading that, one can't help but think about how different the world actually is.

Recently, the hashtag #IfMenHadPeriods trended on Twitter, revitalizing Steinem's decades-old criticism for the modern day.

In a string of tweets, Dr. Jen Gunter, OB-GYN and writer, began dishing out some real talk about periods that roughly 50% of the population can't fully appreciate. Within a few short hours, #IfMenHadPeriods started trending.

The tweet that sparked the trending hashtag spawned a conversation that both was and wasn't what Gunter intended.

"It was the end of a larger tweet stream about menstruation that started in response to mansplaining about periods and mood," Gunter wrote in an email. "Some guy tried to correct a woman by saying ovulation affects mood not menstruation. So I started tweeting about all the ways periods are inconvenient."

"Lots of people responded, many shared their own stories. I tweeted about accidentally inserting 2 tampons, ripping out pubic hair with pad adhesive, and the bloodbath of changing a tampon on a train for example. Many people seemed to like to hear that the same period issues they've had a GYNO has also experienced."

In starting the conversation, Gunter's goal was to vent and bond with others who have periods — gender aside. But somewhere along the line, #IfMenHadPeriods became the hashtag of choice for people responding to Gunter's tweets, presenting an unforeseen problem.

The hashtag, unfortunately, misses one very crucial point: Some men do have periods — transgender men.

Some trans men — that is, men who were assigned female at birth — jumped in on the hashtag to helpfully remind others that they exist. The responses to their tweets tended to range somewhere between "Trans men aren't really men" and "You are a woman," neither of which is particularly helpful.

Is this just another example of "hurt feelings" and "political correctness run amok?" Not exactly.

"The refusal to accept and recognize that there are men who menstruate and get pregnant and there are women who have penises and don't, contributes to the relentless assault on trans people in courts, legislatures and on the streets," ACLU staff attorney and trans man Chase Strangio wrote in a Twitter direct message, explaining that human bodies are more complicated than a reductive gender binary narrative suggests.

In regards to the trending hashtag, Strangio said, "there are better ways to call out sexism than erasing the bodies of people who are not cisgender."

This type of reductive language that labels people according to what body parts they were born with has real-life consequences.

For example, a Lambda Legal study of health care found that many trans men were denied reproductive health care simply for being trans.

“I called a gynecologist’s office trying to schedule a hysterectomy," reads a trans man's story in Lambda Legal's report. "I told the receptionist that I was a transgender male. Two days later, I received a phone call telling me that the doctor did not take cases like mine and referring me to a hospital. I remember feeling like a freak. I called the second number. The receptionist told me they didn’t deal with transgender men either."

Kelley Cantrell was one of the most vocal critics of the hashtag, and they've written about the real-life effect this type of messaging has on trans men and non-binary people in the past.

"For the trans men (and anyone else who identifies on the masculine spectrum) who go to OBGYNs or get yearly exams at their [primary care physician], it creates a really uncomfortable environment when their healthcare providers refer to them as women and use female pronouns," Cantrell wrote in an email. "Healthcare providers need to be more up to date on the queer community's healthcare issues so that they can foster inclusive, safe spaces in their hospitals and offices."

All of this is to say that, yes, it can be tough to find the balance between inclusive language and effective messaging. So what to do?

On one hand, the overwhelming majority of people who have periods are women, so it makes sense to refer to that as a "women's issue," right? On the other hand, it's not just a women's issue, as it ignores people who have periods but aren't women. Go too far in one direction, and people are being actively excluded; go too far in the other, and the core message gets completely diluted.

The balance between the two is something I've been wrestling with for years.

Sometimes, inclusive language comes off as a bit clunky, as evidenced by a recent Planned Parenthood tweet that used the term "menstruators" rather than "women." But maybe that's just because, in many ways, inclusive language is still a work in progress.

The response to Planned Parenthood's tweet was really heated, with some cisgender (non-trans) women arguing that not explicitly saying "women" was dehumanizing and a number of trans men, non-binary people assigned female at birth, and their allies praising the organization for making the good-faith effort to be inclusive.

Completely lost in the conversation prompted by the tweet was discussion of the actual topic at hand: the tampon tax. And maybe that's the fine line we need to keep an eye on.

There are real issues that need to be addressed in the world. So long as that's the case (as it will always be), the question of tact will come up.

In the case of the #IfMenHadPeriods tag, it seems like the discussion — which was about addressing institutional misogyny — veered off track. To get back, it's worth checking in again with Gunter.

Photo by Stefan Heunis/AFP/Getty Images.

"I hate that people feel menstruation is a taboo subject," wrote Gunter. Her tweet with the #IfMenHadPeriods hashtag was toward the end of her longer stream of tweets about one guy who tried to mansplain menstruation. "I'm actually quite sad it was the tweet that mentioned men that was the one that got picked up attention wise. The stream was about menstruation not men or gender."

"The point of my tweets [was] about the challenges of menstruation and patriarchy. It seems some of that was lost in translation."

Do some men have periods? Yes. Are most people who have periods women? Yes. Are trans men really men? Yes. Does society impose penalties such as taxes and employment discrimination on those who have periods? Yes.

As long as we can all acknowledge the above truths, we can have a good-faith conversation about what words we use to try to create change. Because here's the thing: All those people who were replying to trans men on that hashtag? The ones tweeting things like "You're not really a man"? They're not helping advance any cause.

Photo by Loic Venance/AFP/Getty Images.

For this type of nuanced conversation to be productive, it's important we agree on the question being debated. In this case: Does inclusive language come at a political or social cost to a movement's effectiveness, and if so, what do we do moving forward? One example might be the question of whether saying "women's rights are under attack" is more effective than saying "reproductive health care is under attack." The latter is certainly more accurate and more inclusive; but is it as politically effective?

That's the line we need to walk. Effectiveness doesn't need to come at the expense of accuracy or inclusion, but it often does. It's by sitting down with others committed to the same cause (but who might have differing tactical viewpoints) and having a conversation about these nuanced aspects of life that we can help create better, more effective, more inclusive political movements that work for everybody's interests.

Education

Unearthed BBC interview features two Victorian-era women discussing being teens in the 1800s

Frances 'Effy' Jones, one of the first women to be trained to use a typewriter and to take up cycling as a hobby, recalls life as a young working woman in London.

Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. As time marches on, we're moving further and further away from the Victorian era and what life was like for the people living through it. Thankfully, though, relics have survived that are not just historical treasures, but connections our human family now since passed. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

While cars were just around the corner from being the common mode of transportation toward the end of the 19th century, it's pretty wild to imagine what these women experienced. Frances "Effy" Jones explained how, at age 17, she was encouraged by her brother to check out this new machine in a storefront window. Turns out that machine was a typewriter and, after being trained on how to use it, Jones would sit in the store window typing while people outside gathered to watch. Before long, classes began popping up for women to learn how to use a typewriter, starting a new movement for women of that era.

The second woman, Berta Ruck, told the BBC that she would get into a bit of trouble at boarding school for drawing instead of completing school work. This talent took Ruck to art school in London where she rode buses around town, attempting to avoid mud getting on her long skirt. But Ruck explained that it never worked and she would spend hours brushing the mud from her skirt before wearing it out again. I'm sure you're thinking, buses? They weren't the buses we would see nowadays. These were double-decker horse-pulled carriages. It may be hard to imagine, but life was just as vibrant and bustling then as it is now. Check out the video below to learn more:


This article originally appeared three years ago.

A woman sitting in the corner office.

There is an ongoing debate over which parenting style is better for children, authoritative or permissive. Should parents provide structure and have strict expectations or prioritize the child’s happiness and act more like a friend than a parent? If parents want to raise a successful person with entrepreneurial qualities, the answer is neither.

For her book “Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams,” Margot Machol Bisnow interviewed 70 parents of highly successful people from all different family structures to find what they had in common. The result was 99 stories of people who are now changing the world that show readers how to raise creative, confident, resilient children filled with joy and purpose. In addition to being a writer, Bisnow is a mom, parenting expert, and former FTC Commissioner.

“It was an extremely diverse group — of different races, religions, income, family structure and education,” she wrote about the families profiled in her book for CNBC. “But as I talked to each, I discovered a common theme: respectful parenting.”

What is respectful parenting?

Respectful parenting differs from authoritative and permissive parenting and combines some elements of both. A respectfully parented child will have expectations for academics and behavior but can choose their after-school activities and follow their interests. These children are allowed to explore and are free from following hard-set rules. Instead, they are treated more like adults than children.

success, parenting, raising an entreprenuerParents and their daughter looking at the computer.via Canva/Photos

How do you raise children to become successful?

While researching her book, Bisnow found that the parents of highly successful people often went to extremes when allowing their kids to follow their passions. “Every single one of these ‘extreme’ things the parents are doing is listening to their child. And, they’re taking what their child says seriously, as opposed to saying, ‘I’m the parent, I know best,’” Bisnow told CNBC.

Respectfully parented children are given plenty of opportunities to develop the confidence they need to become successful as adults. They learn to believe in themselves, pursue their passions, find new ways to solve problems, and develop single-minded determination to achieve their goals. Kids who are allowed to follow their hearts as children are likelier to pursue their dreams as adults because they believe in themselves.

success, parenting, raising an entreprenuerA child learning how to play the guitar.via Canva/Photos


Bisnow’s work counters the idea that children must be forced down a narrow path of achievement to become successful adults. Highly successful adults learn as children how to find opportunities others don’t think exist and attempt new endeavors even though they may not have the proper credentials. This mindset is entirely different from children who are raised to follow rigid rules and traditional tracts for academic and career development.

“I think the major myth is that there is a precise path that must be followed,” Bisnow told Planning to Wealth. “In fact, that’s not true: the important thing is to follow where your child wants to go, not mandate that direction. The direction has to come from the bottom up, not the top down. I had a tennis player and a songwriter when my kids were in high school. We don't play tennis, and we don't write music. Those were their passions, not mine.”

A heroic pizza delivery man.

A story out of Indiana shows a point that we often prove on Upworthy: even though some people out there do wrong, there are far more folks out there willing to do what’s right. Connor Stephanoff, an employee for Rock Star Pizza in Indiana, braved his way a half mile through a snowstorm wearing sneakers and sweatpants to deliver $40 worth of pizza to a home in an affluent neighborhood. All he got for a tip was $2.

Officer Richard Craig, who goes by Officer Craig on TikTok, saw the delivery man’s incredible effort to get the pizza to the right home, recorded it on video and posted it to TikTok. His dedication astounded the officer, but he couldn’t believe how the young man was treated. “Look at this man. This man walked through hell and high water to deliver a pizza,” Craig said in the video. But he was shocked to learn how cheap the tip was. “Absolutely insane. Do better folks,” he said.



@officercraig $2 TIP SHOULD BE A CRIME! Whoever did this: #SHAMEFUL ROCKSTAR PIZZA HAS A ROCKSTAR DRIVER. (Brownsburg, IN.) This guy is a RARE breed. During today’s all day snowstorm, crashes and slideoffs were coming in near 30 calls an hour. This school bus had a minor crash. The bus slid backwards and sideways down a hill and gets stuck, blocking this neighborhood street, and making it completely impassable. The roads were so bad, it took us 20 min. to get 3-4 miles. THIS #DELIVERYDRIVER pulled up before officers arrived. The delivery was about 1/4 mile past where the bus was blocking the street. This young man did not allow this to discourage him. He didn’t call his manager to complain, he didn’t call the customer and tell them their $40 pizza order could not be delivered. Oh no. THIS MAN IS BUILT DIFFERENT. He would not be discouraged by the obstacles he was encountering, which included a 1/2 mile hike round trip in the cold, wet snow. He parked his vehicle at the top of the hill, got out, wearing grey sweats, Nikes, and NO COAT nor GLOVES. He grabbed this #RockstarPizza, and took off hiking thru the very cold, and wet snow with the pizza in tow. It was the beginning of his shift at 4:30p on a Friday afternoon, BUT he was determined this family got their pizza. This is in a more affluent neighborhood, and I’m sure he thought he would be rewarded properly for his RARE display of PRIDE and DEDICATION to his work- that is often times not seen by some of his generation. But more so, he wanted to ensure this family got their pizza to their door! So they did not have to leave the confines of their warm, comfortable, AND VERY NICE home. He got my attention as I see him walking in the middle of street after he made the delivery. I said outloud “what does this guy think he is doing?” As I initially thought he was a neighbor coming to “rubberneck” the crash. The bus driver told me he walked by once and was delivering a pizza. I didn’t believe that fully because what young pizza delivery guy in 2025 would do this??? None that I know! Not believing it completely, I hit RECORD and ask this young man. I was dumbfounded and in disbelief when he confirmed. But most of all - I was impressed- AND STILL AM! I’m proud to witness this firsthand. But my excitement and pride quickly turned to frustration when I asked him about his tip. WHO TIPS A GUY WHO RISKS EVERYTHING TO DRIVE FOOD TO YOUR DOOR LIKE THIS?? Let alone, gets out to hike it to you while every road was nearly impassable! I REALLY HOPE this algorithm is good enough that whomever DID THIS, SEES THIS! You should be ashamed of yourself whoever u are!! SHAME ON YOU. A $40 pizza delivered and a $2 tip! EVERYONE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD CAN AFFORD IT. AND IF THEY CANT, STOP ORDERING PIZZA YOU CANT AFFORD! After processing he only received $2, and what I just witnessed, I reached for my own wallet. To PAY THE TIP FOR SOMEONE THAT PROBABLY MAKES DOUBLE MY SALARY. But I did not want this young man discouraged. Unfortunately my wallet was in my Tahoe, which was at the top of the big hill. I quickly as I could chased him down up the hill giving him the little cash I had in my wallet. (About $15) HE DESERVED MUCH MORE. Not sure who this guy is, BUT IF YOU DO, PLZ TAG HIM, SHOW HIM SOME ❤️❤️❤️ AND GIVE HIM THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES! Well done sir.🫡#IncredibleWork #Rockstar #Brownsburg #Indiana #delivery #Driver #snow #PizzaGuy #pizza @Dave Portnoy #LifeLawAndFootball #dedicated #workethic @Pat McAfee Show Clips ♬ original sound - Officer Craig




How much should I tip for a pizza?

NerdWallet suggests that people tip a pizza delivery person the amount they'd pay for a regular sit-down dinner, 15% to 20%. However, it notes that you should add more if the pizza is delivered in poor weather conditions. So, in this situation, the people who received the pizza should have at least tipped $7, which is still cheap considering the weather.

The officer then posted a follow-up video in which he gave a better look at the icy terrain Stephanoff had to walk through. He noted that he was in an affluent neighborhood where most people should be able to afford a decent tip, especially for a guy who went above and beyond.



@officercraig Replying to @Brooklyn Johnson-Waterman Luckily I had a little cash in my wallet that was in the truck! BUT HE DESERVES MUCH MORE. I just started his GoFundMe! Please share and encourage others to throw in if they can!! I want to try to get him a tip he deserves -if we can!! Let’s go! https://gofund.me/2d6f19ec. #OfficerCraig #RockStarPizzaBrownsburg #PizzaDeliveryDriver #RockstarDriver #GoFundMe #fyp #foryou #LifeLawAndFootball ♬ original sound - Officer Craig



After the videos went viral, Craig started a GoFundMe campaign for the delivery man to reward him for his efforts and prevent him from becoming discouraged. “I witnessed firsthand the work ethic, dedication, and determination by this young man while I was on the scene of a crash during Friday's snowstorm here in Indiana," he wrote on the GoFundMe page. "He received just a $2 tip - from a home in a very affluent neighborhood."

“I ran to my police vehicle to grab my wallet to give him the little cash that I had (about $15) which I didn’t feel is enough," he added. "I would LOVE to raise at least $500 for this guy!" As of January 23, the fundraiser has earned over $31,000.

Stephanoff’s heroic effort to deliver a pizza earned him praise from his boss, Rock Star Pizza manager Ron Mathews. "He wasn't here in the restaurant; he had no idea people were watching him. But he got out, walked it to the house, and came back without any expectations,” Mathews told WRTZ.

Matthews told NBC affiliate WSAZ that Stepahnoff’s story is a reminder that many folks have it rough these days and to look out for one another. “Everyone is going through it tough. Everyone has it. It could be you. It could be the delivery driver. But at the end of the day, we’re all people," he said. "Just be nice to the next person."

Photo from Facebook page.

A clever message written on her T-shirt.

A Lawton, Oklahoma, student who goes by the Facebook user name Rose Lynn had the last laugh after being sent home from school for wearing an outfit deemed "distracting." Rose Lynn believes her outfit attracted the attention of school officials because of her figure.

She proved it by posting a photo on Facebook of her modest outfit, which consisted of black leggings, a t-shirt, long cardigan, and boots. In her post, she wrote that she was sent home "because I'm developed farther than the average girl my age," and because she's a "CURVY woman." Rose Lynn also thinks the appropriate response shouldn't have been to tell her to cover up, but to teach boys to "to respect the boundaries of young ladies."

Her father, Lance Miles, agrees with her. "If she was built like a board or as round as a ball she wouldn't have been sent home but [since] she has a figure she was told she had to change," he said in the comments of her Facebook post.

"This is 100 percent on [Lawton Public Schools] because they have left the rule up to interpretation. She has been taught that if you believe in something, do what you must and be prepared for the consequences. She has done that," he continued.

Rose Lynn's post:

"So today I was sent home from class, after being in school for two hours, for my outfit. Because I'm developed farther than the average girl my age, I am required to go home and change... Because I look like a CURVY woman and may distract young boys, I have to miss class and change my outfit.

So once again, society has failed to advocate young ladies, by confining them in a box, where they are stripped from their sense of self respect and self expression, rather than teaching young men to respect the boundaries of young ladies. My response: #Feminism #YoullDistractTheBoys #SocietyIsFailing"
school policy, sexism, women, Oklahoma

The before and after images for following a dress code.

Photo from Facebook page.


On the day Rose Lynn was sent home, she was due to take a 20-minute algebra exam. She asked school officials if she could take the test before changing her outfit, but her request was denied. So the next day, she got her revenge.

Rose Lynn returned to school wearing an oversize t-shirt. On the front she scribbled a quote from school officials in black Sharpie, "It doesn't cover your crotch"; on the back, "You'll distract the boys." That day, Rose Lynn was called to the office and sent home again. This time it wasn't for her outfit but for not wearing her student I.D., which she had left in the classroom after being called to the office.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

Teachers

A teacher asked a great question about superintendent pay. Then, all hell broke loose.

Her earnest question about inequality in our education system was met with a grotesque abuse of power.

Why should a superintendent get a raise while teachers in the same district struggling to make ends meet see their paychecks flatline — year after year after year?

Teacher Deyshia Hargrave begged the question. Minutes later, she was handcuffed and placed in the backseat of a cop car. The scene was captured below by YouTube user Chris Rosa, who attended a board meeting for Vermilion Parish Schools in Louisiana. You can watch Hargrave begin speaking about 33 seconds in. The situation starts becoming contentious around 6:35 minutes. Hargrave is arrested at 8:35, and then walked outside in handcuffs and placed in the back of police vehicle.


Teacher Deyshia Hargrave was questioning the school board how they can vote to give the superintendent a raise when school employees have not gotten a raise ...

"We work very hard with very little to maintain the salaries that we have," Hargrave, who teaches middle school language arts, said during a public comment portion of the meeting, stating that she's seen classroom sizes balloon during her time at the school with no increased compensation. "We're meeting those goals, while someone in that position of leadership [the superintendent] is getting raise? It's a sad, sad day to be a teacher in Vermilion Parish."

According to comments Hargrave made to BuzzFeed News, she believes Superintendent Jerome Puyau was already making $110,000 before the board voted to give him a raise of $38,000. The raise alone is roughly the salary of "a teacher, or two cafeteria workers, or two janitors," Hargrave told the outlet.

After Hargrave spoke out again later in the meeting, a city marshal on duty asked her to leave — even though the school board was still addressing her.

"You're going to leave, or I'm going to remove you," the officer told her, as seen in the video. Many people in attendance seemed shocked. "Are you serious?" someone asked, aghast, in the crowd.

Hargrave leaves the room, followed by the officer. But moments later, someone chimed in, "he's putting her in handcuffs" — and the room erupts in disarray.

"I am not [resisting], you just pushed me to the floor!" Hargrave is heard screaming at the officer, as he forcibly removes her down the hallway and out the building in handcuffs. "Sir, hold on! I am way smaller than you!"

Teacher removed from Vermilion school board meeting in handcuffs

According to KATV News, Hargrave was booked in the city jail for resisting an officer — a fact that left many commenters online flabbergasted. School officials are reportedly not pressing charges. "Umm ... what charges could they possibly make?" one Redditor noted.

With help from the Reddit community, Rosa's video has gone viral, garnering more than 600,000 views in less than 24 hours. Clearly, Hargrave's earnest question about inequality in our education system — met with a grotesque abuse of power — has clearly touched a nerve with people across the country.

"I don't know how this teacher could have been more polite and patient in her earnest desire to find out why the superintendent deserves a raise while the teachers work harder with less," YouTube commenter Scott Wells chimed in. "She continued to press because they refused to come up with an answer. Seems like a good question to me."

We agree.


This article originally appeared six years ago.