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When 2 famous singers came out as gay — and 9 other great things that happened in 2014 country

Country music is sometimes criticized for not being very progressive. And with the rise of "bro country" in the past couple years, such criticisms are not entirely unfounded. But here's a list of some pretty awesome stuff that went down in the country music world in 2014.

1. Kacey Musgraves won two Grammys and bunch of other awards.

Background via Thinkstock. Quote from The Wall Street Journal.

Kacey Musgraves is amazing. She's a popular female country artist who — *GASP* — actually sings about things other than trucks, beer, and gettin' it on. Her 2013 album, "Same Trailer Different Park," features the song "Follow Your Arrow," which is based on not letting the haters get you down. It goes, "Make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys, or kiss lots of girls if that's something you're into." Besides, Musgraves has been writing hit songs for country artists for years — 'bout time she got some more recognition!

Just to tally it all up, in 2014, Musgraves won two Grammy Awards (for Best Country Song and Best Country Album), an Academy of Country Music Award (for Album of the Year), and a Country Music Association Award (for Song of the Year).

2. Maddie & Tae took the scene by storm with "Girl in a Country Song."

The teen duo consisting of Maddie Marlow and Tae Dye debuted their first hit single, "Girl in a Country Song," in mid-2014. The song is (a) VERY CATCHY, (b) so on point, and (c) really impressive for a debut single. And the video is hilarious as well, so check that out when you can.

My absolute favorite line is this: "We used to get a little respect. Now, we're lucky if we even get to climb up in your truck, keep my mouth shut, and ride along down some old dirt road we don't even want to be on, and be the girl in a country song." So good!

3. On Nov. 20, 2014, Ty Herndon came out as gay.

Ty Herndon may be best known for his 1996 hit "Living in a Moment." But he's back in the country scene making a splash with a recent announcement that he's gay — and in a happy, long-term relationship. He came out in an exclusive interview with Entertainment Tonight.

Background via Thinkstock. Quote via Entertainment Tonight.

4. A few hours later, Billy Gilman came out as gay.

This just gets better and better! Just a few hours after the news about Ty Herndon, 26-year-old Billy Gilman (known for "One Voice," his first single at age 11, and more recently "Say You Will") posted a video to YouTube in which he let the world know he's gay.

And to make the story even BETTER, the great LeAnn Rimes took to Twitter in support of each star.

5. Brad Paisley made fun of the Westboro Baptist Church by taking a selfie with them outside of his concert.

OK, now this one is just hilarious. In June 2014, Brad Paisley spotted some angry picketers outside his concert in Kansas. Now, Paisley is famous for the 2005 song "Alcohol" and seems to post on Instagram about moonshine regularly. I can't tell you whether or not he drinks alcohol, or whether or not he's religious, but I can tell you that he took to Instagram to make fun of the picketers outside his summer concert.


Westboro Baptist Selfie!! Or west-Burro(ass) selfie. Hopefully they can hear the show out here. We'll play loud.
A photo posted by Brad Paisley (@bradpaisley) on

Did you see that witty caption? It says, "Westboro Baptist Selfie!! Or west-Burro(ass) selfie. Hopefully they can hear the show out here. We'll play loud."

6. Kira Isabella took a stand against rape culture with her song "Quarterback."

Image via Thinkstock. Lyrics from "Quarterback."

Kira Isabella is a Canadian country music artist (they exist!) who released her first single in 2011. Her most recent album, "Caffeine & Big Dreams," features the single "Quarterback." In the song, a young girl gets invited to a party by the quarterback of the football team. He gets her drunk, they have sex (her first time), and the next day she is horrified to find pictures of the incident posted all over the Internet. The lyrics leave the story intentionally unclear — What really happened that night? Who did or said what? — but when the whole town takes sides, no one takes the girl's, and no one believes that she was wronged in any way (which, let's just say it, is some serious bullsh*t 'cause that sh*t was definitely not consensual).

Image by Raymond Santos, used under a Creative Commons license. Quote from ThinkProgress.

The song "Quarterback" was written by Rivers Rutherford, Bobby Hamrick, and Marti Dodson. Fun fact: According to this article, the song was pitched to Carrie Underwood, but her team turned it down.

7. Steve Grand kept being Steve Grand.

Steve Grand is acclaimed by some as the first popular country musician to start a career already out of the closet. In March 2014, he ran a successful Kickstarter campaign to fund his first full-length album featuring the hit 2013 single "All-American Boy." The success of that fundraiser — as well as his 2014 singles "Back to California" and "Time" — prove that he's not leaving the country music scene any time soon.

Here's a clip from the video for "All-American Boy," which was super popular on the Internet when it came out in 2013.

I can't imagine why. It's not like he's adorable or anything. JEEZE.

8. Glen Campbell "sung out" about his battle with Alzheimer's.

In 2011, Glen Campbell (of "Rhinestone Cowboy" — you'd know it if you heard it) announced that he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, a degenerative disease for which there is no cure. In October 2014, Campbell released one final song to make us all cry (and so everyone would remember the music he's all about).

Image by Arnielee, used under a Creative Commons license. Lyrics from "I'm Not Gonna Miss You."

Be sure to catch the whole music video for "I'm Not Gonna Miss You."

9. Sheryl Crow sent out this plea on Twitter (and then defended it).

After listening to the radio for over an hour without hearing a single female voice, Sheryl Crow took to Twitter with a plea:

Later, in a radio interview, Crow stood by her initial tweet.

Original image via Thinkstock. Quote from interview with KNCI 105.1.

10. Kenny Chesney called out the genre for objectification of women.

In a recent interview with Billboard magazine, Kenny Chesney spoke out against the "bro country" we've all been hearing so much of.

Image by LawrenceFung, used under a Creative Commons license. Quote from Billboard.

He gets props for that, for sure, but let's not be too quick to fawn over him as The Savior of Objectified Damsels in Distress. In another interview he explains, "I am learning that when you write songs about women, the perfect place to start is their spirit." I don't really want Kenny Chesney writing anything about my spirit, so the whole thing feels a little "eyeroll-y" still, but we'll let him stick around on our list all the same.

11. Garth Brooks cancelled his appearance on NBC's "The Tonight Show" after Darren Wilson was not indicted.

Image via Thinkstock


Post by Garth Brooks.

On Nov. 25, 2014, (the day after the announcement that Darren Wilson, the officer who shot Michael Brown, would not be indicted — a day of massive civil unrest in our country), Garth Brooks announced via his Facebook page that he had cancelled his Thanksgiving appearance on NBC's "The Tonight Show." He said, "To spend the day promoting our stuff like nothing was wrong seemed distasteful to me." While that's really the only hint we've got as to what his reasoning was, I think it's safe to say this was a pretty bold and respectful move on his part.

So what do ya say? Is it finally time to admit to the world that country music has stolen your heart (and radio)? I'd say so.

And finally, there's no way I covered every awesome thing about the 2014 country music scene. Know of any big progressive moments that I missed? Get at me! I'd love to hear about 'em on Twitter, @meganhazel.


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5 ways people are going "all in" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, here are five ways people on the internet have been giving it their all.

5 ways people are going "all in" this week
5 ways people are going "all in" this week
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Going “all in” is its own kind of magic. Whether it’s a wildly energetic karaoke performance, a full-blown birthday bash for an elderly Chihuahua, or an over-the-top homecoming proposal (more on that in a moment), there’s something undeniably joyful about witnessing pure, unfiltered enthusiasm. Seeing that kind of passion and creativity, you can’t help but smile.

To celebrate that all-or-nothing spirit, we’ve rounded up some of the internet’s finest examples (at least for this week) of people fully committing to the bit. Prepare to be impressed, amazed, and maybe even a little inspired to go “all in” yourself.

1. This high school biology project

@jimcheo jordin sparks said it best #funny #funnyvideos ♬ No Air (feat. Chris Brown) - Jordin Sparks

Oh, to be in high school again. The days where you could be as silly as you wanted and still somehow get an A (for effort). This student-made video—a project for biology class, explaining the respiratory system—is the perfect example of a high school assignment, as well as a great example of someone truly going “all in.” Does this explain the respiratory system? Kind of! But is it full of creativity, passion, and genuine hilarity? Absolutely. The dedication it took to make this video alone—and the enthusiasm of the kids that made it—certainly deserves an A.

2. The Grandma Stand

One thing that’s great to go “all in” on is spreading cheer and joy—and that’s what our friends are doing this week with The Grandma Stand.

The premise is simple: You’ve got a grandma at a booth who gets people talking about the good stuff in their lives. Today’s question? What’s one small thing that brings you joy? The answers are sweet and thoughtful, and the result is a whole lot of goodwill (and hugs!) between total strangers. That’s always lovely to see.

Another thing we like to go “all in” on? Saving money. And right now our friends at All In are giving us a fantastic deal on some seriously tasty snacks. To get a free (!!!) box of their organic snack bars, sign up with your phone number on Aisle, grab two boxes of All In bars at Sprouts, snap a pic of your receipt, and text it through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box, and then all you have left to do is enjoy your new favorite treat. Easy peasy.

3. This extremely specific HOCO proposal 

@dawson002256 best hoco proposal ever #fyp #hoco #viral #proposal ♬ original sound - .

Speaking of high school: Gone are the days where you can simply walk up to someone in the hallway and ask them to be your date to homecoming or prom. Kids these days are starting their own tradition—elaborate staged “proposals” in order to officially pop the question: Will you go to the dance with me?

Homecoming proposals are a perfect example of going “all in,” just by themselves—but this particular one is truly special. The creator shares that she loves sharks and is afraid of butterflies, so for a truly unique and heartfelt “proposal,” her potential date actually dresses up like a shark and stages a massive fight with his friends—all dressed in butterfly costumes—on her front lawn. The commitment, the creativity—it’s all here, on full display. (And she said yes, by the way!)

4. The Anthropologie rock prank 

@phoebeadams112

His full on crash out at the end HAHA

♬ original sound - Phoebe Adams

The internet has been obsessed with this viral prank, and it’s not hard to see why: Not only is it hilarious, the women who are doing the pranking are truly committing to the bit.

The prank started with one content creator, Phoebe Adams, who posted a TikTok of her unboxing a package in front of her boyfriend, Dan. Adams, bursting with excitement, pries open the box to reveal…a rock. But this isn’t any ordinary rock, she explains, gushing over how “perfect” it is. This particular rock is one-of-a-kind, from the bougie retail chain Anthropologie—and it only cost $150. It was on sale!

Dan, rightfully, is horrified and confused. But Adams keeps on torturing him: “This isn’t a regular rock! It’s a one-of-a-kind rock they found on the ground.” (“That’s where rocks COME FROM!” --Dan)

The best part is that this prank quickly went viral, and other creators are following in Adams’ footsteps. Husbands and dads everywhere are confused. It's mayhem. And probably the funniest thing that's happened on the internet this year.

(Even Anthropologie (the brand) has gotten in on the fun. That’s true commitment.)

5. The most elaborate (and fun) wedding entrance we've ever seen 

@benaholtzman Nothing says ‘forever’ like forcing your friends to learn the dance from Miss Congeniality 💍✨ #oneinamillion #weddingtok #weddingentrance #misscongeniality ♬ original sound - Ben Holtzman

We’ve all seen the movie Miss Congeniality, right? For those of you who weren’t teenage girls growing up in the early aughts, allow us to break it down: Sandra Bullock plays Grace Hart, a frazzled special agent working for the FBI. After an extensive makeover (because every movie from the late nineties and early aughts loved a good makeover montage), Gracie enters the Miss America Pageant undercover as Gracie Lou Freebush to prevent an act of terrorism that’s been threatened to go down during the competition. Long story short, it’s a feel-good classic with some of the most memorable movie lines in cinema. (“What is your idea of a perfect date?” “I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold—all you need is a light jacket!”)

In the movie, the contestants all enter the stage to introduce themselves to the audience in a choreographed number to the song “One in a Million”—and so that’s exactly what these two grooms (presumably huge fans of the movie) have done for their wedding entrance. The choreographed sequence involves the grooms and their wedding party (and maybe even some of the guests), and they all truly give an unforgettable performance. Whether you’re a fan of this movie or you’ve never seen it, this wedding entrance really is one in a million.

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Man's side-splitting monologue on why 'women don't want to date anymore' is eerily accurate

The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on Giphy

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

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A little girl entered a talent show without telling her mom and instantly won the crowd

"Leap, and the net will appear.”

Canva

A young girl peaks from behind a curtain on stage

One little girl is somersaulting her way into people’s hearts, and reminding us all of how important it is to put yourself out there every once in a while.

In a now-viral TikTok clip posted by @ashleydkennedy14, we learn that her kindergarten-aged niece had apparently entered herself into a talent show without telling her mom—a feat that involved forging mom’s signature onto a permission slip, no less.

And just what did this “act” consist of? Somersaults. Lots of ‘em. Six, to be exact. Also one cartwheel, for good measure. She’d basically deliver one roll, wait for uproarious applause, then do another one. Solid routine, if you ask us.

@ashleydkennedy14

TikTok · Ashley Kennedy | Mom x3 🌸

Honestly, it’s hard to tell which aspect of this moment is more endearing: watching this little girl valiantly overcome a wee bit of shyness—and in the process tapping into some pretty captivating stage presence—or seeing how enthusiastic the audience was to support her. Just good, wholesome stuff all around.

Even online viewers were taken aback by this girl’s fearlessness. Or rather, her determination to keep going, in spite of her fear.

talent show, viral video, TikTok, confidence, parenting, somersaults, wholesome, feel-good story, kids, funny kidsLittle girl dancing via Giphy


“I need to know what her parents did because this is CEO level confidence and I am here for it.”

“She was like oh 🤸 u like that 🤸”

“Im honestly impressed by her independence. She signed herself up and was confident that she had it. Good job mama.”

“She will go far in life. Courage is everything.”

Others noted how kind the crowd was to cheer her on.

“For the people who clapped, as a mother: THANK YOU. it means a lottt.”

talent show, viral video, TikTok, confidence, parenting, somersaults, wholesome, feel-good story, kids, funny kids A small audience applaudsCanva

“The cheers from the crowd are the best.”

“Ok. because the crowd passed the vibe check. We cheer over here, be brave!”

Funnily enough, plenty of other folks chimed in with similar stories of kiddos sneaking into talent shows…with talents they may or may not have actually possessed.

“My son tried to sign himself up to do karate at his school talent show…he’s never been to a karate class in his life…”

“My daughter entered herself into the talent show in 1st grade and didn’t say anything. She played the piano… she had never played piano in her life til that day lol I need that confidence.”

talent show, viral video, TikTok, confidence, parenting, somersaults, wholesome, feel-good story, kids, funny kidsYoung boy at the piano via Giphy


“My brother did this! He played harmonica for the whole school. He doesn’t know how to play the harmonica.”

While this girl might receive a stern talking to about the importance of not forging signatures, her story is nonetheless a prime example of how kids can really shine when left on their own to take risks, try new things, and opt for exploration over perfection. It can be hard for parents to not want to protect their little ones from failure (whatever that means), but life often provides moments just like this to remind them that taking a step back is a precious opportunity to help instill some self advocacy.

It’s just like the old saying goes, “Leap, and the net will appear.” Or in this case…somersault, and the cheers will follow.

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

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Ask kids this basic question to instantly make them more cooperative — the answer doesn't matter

Just by asking and listening, you've already won.

via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash

This trick can fix any attitude.

Raising kids can be a frustrating experience, no matter how rewarding you also find it. Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone. Dr. Becky got into psychology after struggling with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”

parents, children, child, parenting, trick, communication A mom and son talk on the couch.Canva Photos

The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

@drbeckyatgoodinside

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” one parent wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” another added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

family, parents, kids, parenting, bonding A happy family.Canva Photos

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Woman summarizes 4 years of therapy in a 1-minute video and it's actually really helpful

We can all use these nuggets of wisdom.

Photo credit: Canva

Therapy gives people lots of mental tools.

In recent decades, the stigma around going to therapy has plummeted as people recognize the widespread need for mental health help. In fact, for the first time, more Americans are relying on treatment to meet that need than on medication, with around 22 million Americans engaging in talk therapy to work through their struggles, NPR reports.

One of the benefits of therapy is the range of tools you receive for managing your thoughts and feelings, as well as reframing how you interact with them. Many of these tools are accessible to everyone. While there's no substitute for actual therapy, as it may require specific strategies and work to unpack how best to implement those tools in a person's individual circumstances, there are many valuable nuggets of wisdom that people glean from therapy, which are helpful for everyone. And thanks to one woman summarizing what she describes as four years of therapy in one minute, we have a bunch of those nuggets all in one place.

Kathryn of @energygrowthhub's video has nearly 19 million views, and when you see the list of what she shares, it's not hard to see why:

– "You really do become what you think. If you fill your mind with trash, you're going to feel like trash."

– "Emotions—they're not problems, they're signals. Fear shows you what really matters. Anger tells you what boundaries have been crossed. Anxiety means that you're stuck in the future, and it's a reminder that you need to come back to the present."

– "Motivation won't change your life, habits will. When you change your habits, everything shifts."

– "Your past? That is a chapter, not your whole story. Learn from it, but stop living there."

– "When someone triggers you, pause. Because that's a mirror showing you what's still unhealed inside of you."

therapy, counseling, psychology, psychotherapy, wisdom When you feel triggered by someone, it's like a mirror showing you what needs to heal. Photo credit: Canva

– "Control—total illusion. The only real power that you have in this is you and your choices."

– "At the end of the day, it's simple: Your thoughts shape you, your habits build you, and your choices define you."

People were grateful for the clear, concise summary, which addressed so many aspects that resonated with them. Some therapists even chimed in with support, and many said that they wanted to review it over and over:

"And as a therapist, all of this is so true."

"As a therapist for 25 years, yes."

"Wait, slow down, let me write this down. ✍🏽"

"Wait, hold on, I’m making this my alarm clock."

"Probably the most valuable TikTok I’ve ever watched."

"I feel like I owe this lady some money for the therapy session for all the information. I appreciate it."

"I have been watching this on repeat. Too much good stuff in here. Phew."

As an overview, this one-minute synopsis is on point. However, you can delve much deeper into each of the points she shares.

therapy, counseling, psychology, psychotherapy, wisdom There's not substitute for therapy, but having a quick list of basic mental health tools can help. Photo credit: Canva

For instance, on the "You are what you think" front, Lisa Ferentz LCSW-C, DAPA writes in Psychology Today, "As a therapist, I’ve tried to teach clients that their thoughts profoundly impact their moods and shifting emotions, their behavioral choices, their self-confidence, the healthy risks that do or don't get taken, and their feelings of self-worth and self-esteem in all arenas of life. Countless common thoughts can have a negative and lasting impact."

Another tidbit from the video that struck many people was the "Anxiety means that you're stuck in the future" statement. While that's not a complete picture of anxiety, a lot of anxiety is indeed a fear of what might happen in the future. "Some of us even hold a sense that anxiety protects us from the future, often through the misguided belief that if we worry about them, our worst fears won’t happen," Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., shares with Psychology Today. In our effort to control the uncontrollable or be certain about uncertainty, we rehearse tragedy and tell ourselves scary stories, but to what effect? When we get too far ahead of ourselves, we drive ourselves crazy. We aren’t living in the moment or experiencing our actual present circumstances."

All of these therapy gems have many layers, and, of course, people should actually undergo the therapy they need to make the most effective use of them. However, they are still helpful reminders for all of us that our mental states are not set in stone. And putting them into such digestible one-liners allows us to easily keep them in our toolbelt to pull out any time we need them.

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A gym owner said women need to 'cover up.' This personal trainer's response is scorched earth.

"Men are still saying it's our fault they don't know where to look. Sorry, that's a you problem."

@nathalielennon/TikTok

Can the gym please just be a safe space?

Back in April, Irish gym owner Paul Byrne came under fire for accusing women (technically, he said “young girls,” making it all the more creepy) of being too scantily clad for the gym, saying they should stop wearing what he called “workout bikinis” because they're distracting and intimidating for men. He was even so bold as to say their behavior was “narcissistic.”

Unsurprisingly, this didn’t sit well with many women. Pretty soon, it was on trend for women to film themselves working out in their so-called “workout bikinis.”

It became glaringly apparent that these scandalous outfits, while form-fitting and flattering (how dare they!), were certainly not what Byrne hyperbolically described.

@madisonraehildreth he’ll be clutching his pearls when he sees what our actual bikinis look like
♬ original sound - Newstalk

What constitutes proper gym attire for women isn’t exactly a new debate. Still, personal trainer Nathalie Lennon brings a whole new layer of nuance to the conversation, particularly how it relates to female autonomy and their own personal relationship to their bodies.

“For years, women were told to be skinny, and now we’re embracing strength and muscle, and we’re being shamed again,” she said, also calling out how “outdated” and “problematic” it is to blame a woman for someone else’s distraction.”

“It’s an issue on them if they can't manage their distractions. It’s not our responsibility to fix it with regards to what we wear.”

Lennon also highlighted the obvious double standard that exists, as men are often able to wear whatever they want to the gym without being scrutinized for it.

“[Men] taking off their tops in the middle of a workout to check out their muscle definition. Why aren’t they getting scrutinized the same way? I'm sure that can be intimidating for some people who are new to the gym, too.”

She even called out Byrne for apparently posting (since-deleted) pictures of himself from bodybuilding competitions in “incredible shape” but sporting "tighty-whities.”

@nathalielennon Just sharing my opinion. I’m shocked still… 😑 #womenempowerment @Newstalk ♬ original sound - Nathalie Lennon

“That’s fine! All the power to you! But for you to be one of the men…to make this comment about young women who are trying to defy what we have been told for years about being skinny, who are going into the gym to finally embrace strength, and muscle mass, and train in a way that’s gonna support them for the rest of their lives…I don’t have the words…”

Women, of course, are not only accused of dressing “for attention” in the workout room, but, as Lennon noted, it feels especially frustrating, and downright disheartening, for it to occur in a place that should be for introspection and “self improvement.” Women haven’t even had this type of public space available to them for long, unless you count the nonsensical “reducing salons” of the 1940’s…and even those weren’t co-ed!

Being a place of self-improvement, Lennon argued that women should be allowed to wear whatever clothes make them feel confident and train properly. And given that so many huge brands have done “endless research” on how to make that happen for women, maybe it shouldn’t be up to male opinion.

@izzywarnerrr LOL @DFYNE ♬ original sound - Newstalk

Bringing it all home, Lennon didn't mince words as she said, “The gym is a shared space means mutual respect. Not control.”

And that pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it? Women should be able to choose whether they want to work out in form-fitting sports attire or loose, baggy sweatpants. The key word there being choose.

Now, let's move on to the actually controversial gym etiquette debate: cellphones.

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