+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy

wellness

Health

Woman shares her 'save the day' self-care tip that can help alleviate work stress

Save the day. Every day.

@breatheintransformation/TikTok

Such a simple—and fun—way to add in daily self care

Work-life balance is a popular phrase thrown around these days, and certainly, with all the benefits it can add to our sense of purpose and wellbeing, it’s something worth striving towards.

But integrating the concept into our lives…that’s another story.

Before you know it, 12 hours of busywork have flown by, leaving us too exhausted to do anything for ourselves. And now, on top of the fatigue, we have the guilt of not doing that hour-long workout or thirty minute meditation or whatever else we know could help us feel fulfilled, if only we had time. Because the sad truth is—our current society makes it very easy to put our personal needs on the backburner in the name of productivity.

On the upside—taking even the smallest personal breaks can make a world of difference. And Trina Merz, a Hawaii-based holistic healing practitioner, recently shared the simple, yet powerful way that she and a friend created to remember their self care.

In a video posted to her TikTok, @breatheintransformation, Merz shared that whenever she and her friend carved out a small personal activity during a full work day, they’d call it “saving the day.”

For Merz, that often looked like catching a surf, calling her mom, or making a delicious meal. “One thing that reclaims the day as our own,” she explained in the clip.

And to hold each other accountable, they would ask each other how they saved the day. “It became this fun thing that we used to just casually talk about all the time,” she said.

Merz went on to affirm that "there's honestly so many ways you can save the day, and it doesn't have to be a huge time commitment. It could even be just making a cup of tea and cozying up with one of your favorite books; anything that makes the day feel like you had some space in it again."

@breatheintransformation Save the day. Everyday. #savetheday #careeradviceforwomen #corporategirlies #stressrelief ♬ original sound - trina 🕊️ work-life harmony

There’s just so much about this that works. For one thing, adding the phrase “saving the day” makes you feel like a superhero (and, let’s be real, main character energy is totally healthy sometimes). But also there’s the sharing with a friend aspect, which Merz told Upworthy is "such an impactful part of this practice not only for accountability…but because when our energy comes together it expands and inspires each other, adding fuel to the flame of seeing the positives in our lives."

As one viewer rightfully commented, “This is the healthiest lifestyle tip I’ve seen in a while."

Lots of folks requested some more examples of “saving the day,” and Mez happily obliged. Here’s a small sampling of what she listed in a follow-up video:

Blowing bubbles

Taking a walk or run outside

Making rituals out of special treats—using a special plate with a fancy piece of chocolate, for example.

Reading a book or article you find interesting

Getting a pedicure or a massage

Enjoying a crossword

Taking a dance break

Walking barefoot in the grass

Doing anything with a good friend

And of course, you are free to create your own “Save The Day” list. Share it with a friend, and see how it affects your week.

From Your Site Articles
wellness
Health

Doctor explains why he checks a dead patient's Facebook before notifying their parents

Louis M. Profeta MD explains why he looks at the social media accounts of dead patients before talking their parents.

Photo from Tedx Talk on YouTube.

He checks on your Facebook page.

Losing a loved one is easily the worst moment you'll face in your life. But it can also affect the doctors who have to break it to a patient's friends and family. Louis M. Profeta MD, an Emergency Physician at St. Vincent Emergency Physicians in Indianapolis, Indiana, recently took to LinkedIn to share the reason he looks at a patient's Facebook page before telling their parents they've passed.

The post, titled "I'll Look at Your Facebook Profile Before I Tell Your Mother You're Dead," has attracted thousands of likes and comments.

"It kind of keeps me human," Profeta starts. "You see, I'm about to change their lives — your mom and dad, that is. In about five minutes, they will never be the same, they will never be happy again."

"Right now, to be honest, you're just a nameless dead body that feels like a wet bag of newspapers that we have been pounding on, sticking IV lines and tubes and needles in, trying desperately to save you. There's no motion, no life, nothing to tell me you once had dreams or aspirations. I owe it to them to learn just a bit about you before I go in."

"Because right now... all I am is mad at you, for what you did to yourself and what you are about to do to them. I know nothing about you. I owe it to your mom to peek inside of your once-living world.”

Dr. Louis Profeta, health, death, doctors

Dr. Profeta talks his experience with the death of a patient.

Photo from Tedx Talk on YouTube.

Profeta explains that the death of a patient makes him angry:

"Maybe you were texting instead of watching the road, or you were drunk when you should have Ubered. Perhaps you snorted heroin or Xanax for the first time or a line of coke, tried meth or popped a Vicodin at the campus party and did a couple shots.”

"Maybe you just rode your bike without a helmet or didn't heed your parents' warning when they asked you not to hang out with that 'friend,' or to be more cautious when coming to a four-way stop. Maybe you just gave up."

"Maybe it was just your time, but chances are... it wasn't."

personalization, trauma, mental health, social media

The facebook app.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Profeta goes on to explain why he checks a patient's Facebook page:

"So I pick up your faded picture of your driver's license and click on my iPhone, flip to Facebook and search your name. Chances are we'll have one mutual friend somewhere. I know a lot of people.”

"I see you wearing the same necklace and earrings that now sit in a specimen cup on the counter, the same ball cap or jacket that has been split open with trauma scissors and pulled under the backboard, the lining stained with blood. Looks like you were wearing it to the U2 concert. I heard it was great."

"I see your smile, how it should be, the color of eyes when they are filled with life, your time on the beach, blowing out candles, Christmas at Grandma's; oh you have a Maltese, too. I see that. I see you standing with your mom and dad in front of the sign to your college. Good, I'll know exactly who they are when I walk into the room. It makes it that much easier for me, one less question I need to ask.”

"You're kind of lucky that you don't have to see it. Dad screaming your name over and over, mom pulling her hair out, curled up on the floor with her hand over her head as if she's trying to protect herself from unseen blows.”

"I check your Facebook page before I tell them you're dead because it reminds me that I am talking about a person, someone they love — it quiets the voice in my head that is screaming at you right now shouting: 'You mother f--ker, how could you do this to them, to people you are supposed to love!'"

— Updated June 5, 2019.

This article originally appeared on June 5, 2019

From Your Site Articles
health
Health

Why people are longing for the old Scottish habit of 'hurkle-durkling' to finally get good rest

You might have already hurkle-durkled this week.

Representative Image from Canva

Wondering where she got that rested glow? She hurkle-durkled.

Hurkle-durkle might be the silliest word ever, but it could be the missing step in your self-care.

Hurkle-durkling simply means to linger in bed long past the time when you “should” already be up. It’s a Scottish term dating back to the 1800s—-originally having more to do with sitting in a crouching position either for warmth or secrecy, but eventually taking on a more relaxed and positive connotation.

It’s a word that only the biggest etymology enthusiast would know, had it not been plucked from obscurity thanks to TikTok.

The viral trend seems to have started with actress Kira Kosarin sharing it as her “word of the day,” joking that “I do be hurkling, and I do be durkling and once I’ve hurkled my last durkle in a given morning I will get up, but I’m a big fan of a hurkle-durkle.”

@kirakosarin

hurkle-durkle, u deserve it <3

♬ original sound - Kira Kosarin

Kosarin’s clip prompted others to share videos of themselves enjoying a good hurkle-durkling, blissfully wrapped in their sheets, basking in the sunlight, leisurely reading, etc.

One woman hailing from Scotland even joked, “[The Scottish] knew it was so critical to well-being they made a whole term about it. So no I’m not being lazy or wasting my life. I’m practicing an ancestral right of passage. I’m connecting with my culture and heritage.”

At this point you might be thinking, wait, isn’t this just bed-rotting?

Bed-rotting, another TikTok trend about lying in bed, and hurkle-durkling are similar, but have very different contexts. Bed-rotting has more to do with symptoms of burnout and fatigue, whereas hurkle-durkling is a bit more hygge, if you will. It’s seen as a pleasurable activity meant to promote rest for overall well being. Plus a hurkle-durkle has an end in sight, whereas bedrotting can take up an entire weekend, or longer.

And now matter how silly hurkle-durkle sounds, it could be seriously good for us. Research has shown that sleeping in, even a couple days a week, reduce the chances of a heart attack or stroke by 63%, especially for folks who get less than 6 hours of sleep through the rest of the week. (So, everyone, basically). Not only that, but getting those few extra minutes of shut-eye from hitting the snooze can help increase alertness and boost our mood.

Really, as with any self care practice, balance is key. Experts warn against staying in bed as an everyday practice or to avoid responsibilities an uncomfortable feelings, especially as too much inactivity can worsen feelings of depression. But when done mindfully and moderately, it can be the rejuvenation we long for, that so many of us don’t grant ourselves.

In fact, Kristin Wilson, a licensed professional counselor and chief experience officer, told Yahoo Life that perhaps so many people are leaning into silly, catchy terms like hurkle-durkle because they make rest and self-care, activities many Americans "are hesitant to celebrate and fully embrace,” more accessible.

"Sometimes our bodies just need a break, and we don’t want to feel guilty about taking time to rest," she explained. "Giving this behavior a clever social media name can make it feel more socially acceptable and when it trends and becomes popular, it normalizes the need for relaxation within the community of followers."

So with that, show yourself some love with a little hurkle-durkle. It’s fun to say, and oh so important to do.

From Your Site Articles
tiktok
Health

6 tips for a successful and satisfying Dry January

More and more young people are planning to ring in the new year by cutting out alcohol for a month.

fauxels/Canva

Millions if Americans will be toasting the new year without alcohol.

The Dry January challenge as we know it has around since the early 2000s, but the idea of taking a break from alcohol the first month of the year actually has its roots in World War II. To save resources, the Finnish government initiated “Raitis Januar,” or Sober January, in 1942, encouraging people to stop drinking alcohol entirely for at least that one month.

The modern Dry January has become more and more popular as people recognize the health benefits of abstaining from alcohol and acknowledge the impulse to cut back after the indulgent holidays. According to the American Association for Cancer Research, 19% of millennials, 14% of Gen Xers 12% of baby boomers say they plan to participate in Dry January 2024. That's about 31 million Americans.

Some people find it easy to stop drinking for a month, while others find it more challenging. If you're going to try to have a Dry January, here are some tips for a successful and satisfying month.

Get clear on your 'why' and remind yourself of it often.

If you've decided to try Dry January, there must be a reason. Maybe you're on a mission to take better care of your body. Maybe you're questioning your relationship with alcohol. Maybe you feel like it's a good self-discipline exercise. Maybe you read the WHO statement that no amount of alcohol can be considered safe or healthy.

Whatever your "why" is, keep it front and center in your mind—maybe even write it down someplace—so that you can call on it if or when you're tempted to drink.

Find some yummy substitutes for your favorite drinks.

When you're trying to cut something out, it can be helpful to have something to replace it with. Decide ahead of time what you're going to order in a restaurant instead of wine or a beer. Lots of establishments offer non-alcoholic alternatives to those things, but you might also just choose a favorite soda or even just water. It's just good to go in with a plan, rather than relying on whatever sounds good in the moment because what sounds good in the moment will likely be the alcohol drink you'd normally get.

You might even decide to treat yourself to a yummy mocktail so that you don't feel like you're missing out on the festive element of drinking. Mocktails have grown in popularity so it's not an unusual request.

Read other people’s success stories.

Sometimes a little inspiration can be helpful, so reading about other people who've successfully completed a Dry January can help.There are plenty of success stories from people who have done Dry January at least once, but many who have done it each year. Testimonials like these ones from a Reddit thread can help keep you going:

"It was worth it. It was an effort to drink less, lose weight, sleep better. I lost 4 lbs, slept better, and generally had more energy and focus in the morning."

"I’ve done it the past few years and love it. Honestly the hard part is the social side and less the alcohol side. I love a beer or a whiskey when hanging but the value of a clear head in the morning is increasing with my age. I find a reset helps me temper how much I drink in general. Like, the casual couch drink on a Tuesday goes away for a while after Jan. since it’s pretty worthless."

Track how you feel (especially after the first week, which might suck).

One of the things people who complete Dry January often share is how much better they physically feel. Better sleep, less grogginess, more energy, better digestion, lowered blood pressure, weight loss and more are commonly reported. Some people experience these benefits right away, but for someit might take a bit to feel those benefits as your body adjusts to not processing alcohol. Stick with it and pay attention to how your body and brain feel without it as you go through the month.

(A word of warning: Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome can occur in heavy drinkers who stop suddenly and can be dangerous, so watch for symptoms that are concerning. According to Harvard Health, mild withdrawal symptoms include anxiety, shaky hands, headache, nausea, vomiting, sweating, and insomnia. Severe symptoms can include hallucinations, delirium, racing heart rate, and fever, and often occur within two or three days after you stop drinking. Seek medical assistance immediately if you experience symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.)


Make it a group effort.

You can go through Dry January alone, but you probably don't have to. Who among your friends and family might want to do it with you? Even if you find just a couple of people who agree to support you, that can make a big difference in how you feel about the challenge. Not drinking for a whole month can be hard if alcohol is a regular part of your life, especially your social life. Ask for help from your loved ones to provide non-alcoholic alternatives and not to put any pressure on you to drink, and if anyone is available and willing to do it with you, all the better.

If you slip up, don’t quit, just pick back up the next day.

The beauty of sobriety is that it truly is a daily (or hourly, or minute-by-minute) choice, so if you do find yourself with a drink in your hand, you haven't ruined anything. Just pick it back up the next day and move forward. No need to beat yourself up. No need to give up completely.

For some people, Dry January is a welcome break for overall wellness. Others find it eye-opening when it's a lot harder than they anticipated and use it as a wake-up call that leads to life-changing—and in some cases, life-saving—shifts in alcohol use.

Dry January may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it can be a great tool to throw into your health and wellness toolbox if you're up for it.

From Your Site Articles
health
Trending Stories