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10 everyday things that might seem mundane, but all parents come to appreciate

Waking up naturally is a divine and precious gift.

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Take pleasure in little things when you're raising kids.

As a parent, it sometimes feels like you're supposed to be fueled entirely by selfless love and a "spiritual connection" to your children.

But you know what? You matter, too! And there's nothing wrong with needing a little soul-nourishment that doesn't end with you on your knees scrubbing barf out of the carpet.

Yes, it's possible to love your kids deeply but also be a little overwhelmed by what your life has become. It's totally normal to need a little more than just love to keep yourself going.

With that in mind, here are 10 things all parents can agree on about the tiny, but hardly insignificant, pleasures of the daily parent-grind.

1. You've determined that one and a half is the perfect number of drinks.

Perfection.

Drinking alcohol is fun! It's also a brief reminder of what it used to be like when you were allowed to have adult fun. But each drink also increases the amount it will suck if and when the kids wake up early or in the middle of the night.

wine, drinking, alcohol, responsible behavior

The perfect amount of drinks fro healthy relaxing.

Photo by photo pic on Unsplash

The magic number usually tends to be around two drinks, less the half beer left sitting on your night stand after you've just given up and passed out, netting a perfect 1.5.

2. You hate washing dishes, but you love that warm dishwater.

Washing dishes while holding baby? Parenting level: expert.

Children are basically mystical fairies that fill your home with dirty dishes while you aren't looking.

Washing those dishes is an endless, thankless chore, but at least soaking your hands in the hot, frothy water feels kind of nice.

3. You know that silence really is golden.

...

No, no, don't ruin it. Just listen.

Ahhh...

4. You don't drive just to get places.

Most people think cars are just motorized hunks of metal that take you from Point A to Point B.

Parents know that they are, in fact, complex machines designed to make children fall asleep while you pick up dinner at the drive-through, or even just drive aimlessly through an area without a lot of stoplights.

5. You cherish the days where nothing happens.

Getting up, going to work, eating dinner, and going to bed. That's all we really want.

Any day where no one gets sick, injured, or inexplicably, inconsolably cranky is a success.

6. You also love Mondays. (Really.)

Having a young child is kind of like making a bomb out of household items and carrying it around with you. Even if you're really careful, there's a chance it might explode.

Monday (for many of us) means dropping the kids at school or daycare where, short of severe injury or illness, anything that happens after that is their problem.

7. You have a new appreciation for waking up naturally.

bed, morning intimacy, freedom, slumber

Absolute joy when sleeping in and the kids are away.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I barely remember what this feels like..

Being kissed awake by the sun's heavenly rays is so rare that when it does happen, you assume your child must have died in their sleep. But once you confirm that all's well and melt back into a peaceful slumber, there's no better feeling in the world.

8. You know that hot showers are everything.

See: Warm dishwater, silence.

9. You hang out with other parents to put everything into perspective.

Hanging around a bunch of parents is amazing. Everyone's wearing sweats, no one's in shape, and showering is totally optional. Everyone's just trying to get by, OK?

And if you have to go home because your kid's having a meltdown, they're all too busy cutting food into small pieces or monitoring timeout to give you the side-eye.

10. You drink coffee like it is the source of all life.

coffee, source of life, trouble sleeping

The pleasure found in a perfect coffee.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Drinking coffee doesn't really have the same effect as getting more sleep, but it's possible to convince yourself otherwise. Sometimes, though, you'll drink coffee too late in the day and have trouble sleeping.

The only solution to that? Yep. More coffee.

Being a parent is hard. It's OK to admit it.

It doesn't matter if you're tired. It doesn't matter if you're sick. It doesn't matter if it's your birthday. It doesn't even matter if you're tired and sick ON your birthday. (And you will be.)

At least, that's how it can feel.

But psychiatrist Gail Saltz told TODAY Parents, "You have to put your oxygen mask on first," so to speak. "If you go to pieces, everyone is going down with you."

That's why we're all so desperate for that spa day or for a beer with friends. But it might be a while before we can get one on the books.

In the meantime, it pays to look for the little moments in between that give us the juice we need to keep going.


This article originally appeared on 03.15.16

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Joy

New poll reveals the top 20 things 'that make us feel good' in 2023

A welcome reminder of the good things in life.

via Quang Anh Ha Nguyen/Pexels

A woman jumping for joy

Living in an era with a 24-hour news cycle and endless updates on social media gives many the perception that the world is becoming more chaotic by the day. But when you talk to people as individuals, they think their lives are pretty darn okay. A recent poll by Gallup found that 85% of Americans are “satisfied” with their personal lives, and 14% are dissatisfied. When taken in context, that’s 8% higher satisfaction than when the poll started in 1979.

One of the keys to living a satisfied life is knowing what makes you happy.

A new poll of 2,000 Londoners released by Babybel Cheese has found the top 20 things that make them happy and that might just work for you, too. The list is refreshing because it’s about enjoying the simple things in life instead of chasing status or Instagram followers.

According to the poll, here are the top 20 things that bring people happiness.

1. A good night’s sleep

2. A sunny blue sky

3. Summer

4. Receiving a compliment or praise

5. Booking a holiday

6. Crying with laughter

7. Getting a quiet moment to yourself

8. Eating your favorite snack

9. Pets being happy to see you

10. Looking back at old photographs

11. Finishing a great book

12. Helping an elderly person with something

13. Finishing a workout

14. Hearing children really belly-laughing

15. Finding a parking space when it’s busy

16. A newly-cleaned car

17. When your football or other sports team wins

18. A heart-to-heart with a loved one

19. Volunteering or helping others

20. Finding out your children have done well at school

The No. 1 thing that makes people happy is a good night’s sleep. It makes a lot of sense because when we sleep, our bodies and minds do many essential things that can make the next day so much better.

However, when we don't get enough sleep, our brain's ability to adapt to new experiences, known as brain plasticity, diminishes. So, we have more difficulty processing memories and learning new things. Sleep deprivation can significantly affect our mood, making us more susceptible to feelings of anger and heightened emotional responses. In fact, Cedars Sinai says that a lack of sleep can lead to a host of mental problems, including higher levels of stress, frustration, depression and anxiety.

A good night's sleep isn't just about feeling alert—it's about maintaining our mental well-being, too.

The poll also shows that basic human social actions can provide a lot of happiness, whether that’s sharing a joke with a friend, working on a creative project or spending time with our children. It also shows the importance that giving back can have on our mental well-being.

The good news is that when we’re feeling down, so many simple things can easily make us happy, most of which can be found in our own backyards. The real lesson from the poll shows that we could all be a lot happier if we adopted an attitude of gratitude and stopped making things so complicated.

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Joy

'Hack expert' explains why the side of the bed you sleep on says a lot about your personality

Prefer the left side? You're probably more positive.

via jordan_the-stallion8 and Gary Barnes/Pexels

A couple sleeping and Jordan Howlett sharing sleep facts

Jordan Howlett recently blew people’s minds with a TikTok video where he explained why you could learn a lot about a person based on the side of the bed they prefer. Jordan is a popular TikTok creator with nearly 11 million followers who shares candid monologues, reactions, stories, life hacks and intriguing fast food secrets.

His video was a response to TikTok users Angelina & Skyler, who confessed they don’t usually pick a side of the bed.

(FYI: Your side is determined from the perspective of laying in bed. For example, sleeping on the left side means that your partner would sleep to your right.)

Howlett responded to their video by explaining why the side you choose is so important. “Psychologically speaking, humans will pick a side of the bed due to attitude towards work, personality and income,” he says.

“People who sleep on the left side of the bed psychologically have a more positive outlook on life, they can deal with heavy workloads, they’re not easily phased by stressful days and they’re calmer in a crisis than [their] counterpart,” he continues. “And they’re more confident.”

@jordan_the_stallion8

#stitch with @Angelina & Skyler || DIY 💚 #fypシ

“People who sleep on the right side of the bed earn more money, have a less positive outlook on life, but are more prepared for worst-case scenarios than their counterparts,” Jordan said. Jordan ends his video with a final fact: “Also, people who are claustrophobic naturally choose to sleep near the wall.”

Although Howlett didn’t cite any specific data, his points are perfectly aligned with current research on the topic. It appears he may have taken his facts from sleep expert Hope Bastine. Recently, Bastine told Cosmopolitan that folks who sleep on the left side are more optimistic than their grumpier, right-side counterparts.

"According to research, people who sleep on the left are likely to be more cheerful than their right-side counterparts," Bastine said. "A positive outlook allows lefties to be more capable at dealing with a heavy workload, which means they’re not as easily phased by a stressful day. Those who sleep on the left believe they are calmer than their partner in a crisis and are more confident in general."


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Family

We know that adults suffer when they don't get enough sleep. For kids, it's even worse.

Just like adults, children’s ability to get through the day is compromised when they don't get enough sleep, but in order to understand why that happens, we have to look at how the brain works.

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Are kids getting the required amount of daily sleep?

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Imagine you're in your school math class after staying up late doing homework, and the teacher calls on you to explain something complicated on the board.

Ah, there's that palm sweat everyone who's been through this is painfully familiar with.

As if woken abruptly from a dream — which, let's face it, might've been the case — you look up sheepishly at the teacher, then around at everyone else staring back at you. You squint desperately at the equation on the board, but it might as well be in some language you don't know. Maybe you try to answer it and make no sense or just sink in your seat and say, "I don't know." Either way, aside from feeling like a zombie, you're also probably left feeling pretty embarrassed.

It might sound funny in hindsight, but these effects of sleep deprivation are seen all too often in schools all over the world.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 31% of kids aged 6 to 11 in America get eight hours of sleep or less on a weeknight. The recommended amount for their demographic is at least 9 hours. And the stats only get more troubling as kids get older. According to a study at San Diego State, 40% of teens actually get seven hours of sleep a night or less, and that percentage has risen dramatically in the last 10 years.

Obviously, regular sleep deprivation can negatively affect the body and mind of an adult, but it can be detrimental to a young person.

stress, studies, children, education, environment

A lack of sleep can cause an inability to regulate mood and emotions.

Photo by Henrikke Due on Unsplash

That goes double for a young person from a low-income household. Just ask Reut Gruber, associate professor of psychiatry at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. Apart from being an expert in the genetics of sleep, she's a member of the World Sleep Society and focuses on how sleep deprivation impacts children's day-to-day lives.

Just like adults, children’s ability to get through the day is compromised when they don't get enough sleep, but in order to understand why that happens, we have to look at how the brain works.

"There are several parts of the brain that are dependent on sleep to finish their business," Gruber explains. "One part of the brain that's key is the prefrontal cortex. It's kind of like the engine, the machine that underlies executive function."

Everything we do throughout our day — planning, ignoring distractions, making decisions, setting goals, etc. — rely on the prefrontal cortex working efficiently. Unfortunately that's also one of the areas of the brain that's most sensitive to sleep deprivation.

When the prefrontal cortex is compromised by a lack of sleep, all the functions it oversees are affected. This includes our ability to regulate mood and emotions.

You know how moody you get when you're running on less sleep? Imagine that feeling as a kid exacerbated by school assignments, teachers, and your classmates pushing your buttons.

Now imagine you return home after a day of feeling sleep deprived to a cramped house where there's no structure and four kids sleeping in one room. Perhaps you live in a neighborhood where every few hours you're awoken by what might be gunshots outside. According to Gruber, these scenarios are all too common.

Can you see a vicious cycle developing?

While research on the relationship between socioeconomic status and sleep deprivation is limited, there have been studies that have found a correlation between children from lower-income households and more disrupted sleep. It makes sense when you consider the scenario above — if life at home is stressed by a lack of money, food, or safety, it's not surprising sleep patterns would be disrupted.

And when sleep deprivation is the norm for kids, they get used to functioning at lower levels, which in turn may affect their academic success and ability to regulate their emotions.

poverty, community, education, sleep deprivation

Stress at home can disrupt sleeping patterns.

Photo via Pixabay.

Gruber says a good way to do this is set a hard stop for kids in terms of evening work/play/social media time. Once their sleep time comes around, encourage them to put it all away, literally and metaphorically. It might be hard at first, but the benefits will pay off tenfold.

"Make a commitment to making a change [to your child's sleep routine]," Gruber says. "Once you do it, you feel so good, you don't want to go back."

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