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A mentor's 8-word phrase saved this employee from burnout and 'saved his career'

"A lot of us early in our careers say 'yes' to everything."

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Man shares 8-word phrase that he learned from mentor to avoid burnout and be a better professional.

Burnout is a real struggle among American workers. According to a 2025 study released by Moodle, 66% of Americans reported feeling burnout from their jobs. And in another 2025 workplace poll conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), workers reported high rates of “burnout,” “stress,” and “overwhelm.”

To help others, a man struggling with burnout in his career shared in a since deleted Reddit post how his mentor taught him a simple phrase to use with his boss to better manage expectations while seemingly helping him appear more professional.

"A lot of us early in our careers say yes to everything. That’s how you burn out fast," he wrote, before sharing that a mentor taught him an eight-word phrase that helped save his career: "I can do it, but not by then."

burnout, feeling burned out, burned out, stressed, exhausted Tired TV Land GIF by TV Land Classic Giphy

He went on to explain, "Instead of: 'I can’t take this on', say: 'I can take this on, but realistically it’ll be done by [X date].' This does three things: Shows you’re willing, not lazy. Sets realistic boundaries without burning bridges. Teaches others to respect your time."

The employee concluded, "The irony? You’ll usually be seen as more professional — not less — because you’re managing expectations instead of dropping the ball."

The advice resonated with many other workers, who also shared how they manage their boss' expectations of them.

"So true," one commented. "Setting expectations early and offering a realistic alternative saves so much headache down the road."

@melrobbins

This is why you feel so burnt out and tired... Thank you @Jay Shetty for having me on this episode of @On Purpose Podcast! #melrobbins #letthemtheory #boundaries #ownyourdecisions

Another shared, "I've been doing this more and more, after working my role for a few years I have a decent understanding of a manageable workload with consideration of having stuff thrown on my lap or having time for training. Kind of funny because I'll say 'I can get it done but not this week, maybe next week or the one after that.'"

They added that this can help take pressure off you. "Suddenly this places accountability on my supervisor to even do a little work by looking further into it, due dates, priority and it will turn into nothing of importance or they'll find a coworker that actually has nothing else going on to delegate it to or end up doing it themselves (because they probably had nothing going on anyway)," they explained. "I always tell them to let me know if I can still assist. Just consider how to set boundaries that work for you and how to present those boundaries to be for the company's benefit."

boundary, boundaries, healthy boundaries, implementing boundaries, boundary work Paramount Network Kelly GIF by Yellowstone Giphy

How to use it

To help others implement the phrase, another employee shared the best way to use this advice in a conversation with your boss: "'I see you're asking for X, Y and Z. Realistically we can accomplish X and Y in that timeframe. How about we take a phased approach to this project? X and Y can be Phase 1 and get out on time, and we'll consider Z Phase 2 to be completed after the discussed date.'"

The user noted that this has never failed them. "Phased approaches work almost every single time for me," they added. "It lets the person you're working with know that you deem all parts of the projects acceptable and important, but also gives them the chance to meet you half way, while eventually getting exactly what they wanted."

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Woman shares the 'key' to being a good mother-in-law, and it's actually spot-on

This could certainly save a few in-law relationships.

@millennialmatleave/TikTok

"Fill you own cup" is good advice for nearly every situation, isn't it?

Listen, not every mother-in-law disregards boundaries, questions their kid’s parenting styles, tries to manipulate, and so on and so forth. But there’s a reason why the stereotype exists. Plenty have their own horror stories of being on the receiving end of toxic MIL behavior.

But for those wanting to avoid being that stereotype, Janelle Marie, or @millennialmatleave on TikTok believes that she has found the “key.” And it’s all about “filling your own cup.”

“Fill your dang cup. Something outside of your children that makes you feel good, makes you feel fulfilled, makes you feel happy,” Janelle begins in a TikTok.

@heyjanellemarie

Lets get some hobbies girls…..you know, when you can find a single free moment #hobbies #motherinlaw #toxicmotherinlaw #relationshipadvice #parentingtips #lifehack #grandparents #inlaws #parenting #boymom

That means that besides devoting your identity towards nurturing kids, you should be “nurturing” your marriage, as well as other relationships, like friendships, she notes.

“I unfortunately feel like a number of mothers-in-law that are feeling really confused about this role of mother-in-law or dissatisfied with the role of mother-law, and it ends up meaning that they act in a way that comes across as desperate or controlling or with guilt trips — women who don’t have enough going on outside of their relationship and their role as a mom. And so when their kids grow up, they’re ill-equipped to replace that relationship with other things.”

Janelle concludes by acknowledging it’s “easier said than done,” and reiterates that she isn’t trying to place blame, but rather just point out that “it’s something we need to be aware of.”

Generate ALT toxic mother in law, mil, parenting, boundaries, toxic mil, mother in law, motherhood, family, mom adviceA mother-in-law eavesdropping. Photo credit: Canva

Down in the comments, folks seem to clearly resonate with Janell’s stance—many have MILs of their own who could really benefit from a hobby or friend circle.

“My MIL’s hobby was getting into my marriage,” quipped one viewer.

“My toxic mother in law has had zero friends in the 18 years I’ve known her,” said another.

A few MILs even chimed in. One shared, “I noticed I got too involved/emotional/bothered by my son’s relationship and immediately looked in the mirror! Poured that energy into my marriage, friends, and hobbies.”

“OMG, you’re right,” reflected another. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a good MIL, I don’t meddle or overstep, but boy do I struggle. I definitely need to get a hobby!”

As we know, it can be hard for any mom to not lose themselves in the demands of raising a child. And only up until recently were women allowed by society to see themselves as anything beyond being a mother. Self care is also a fairly new concept for everyone. So it is understandable that many MILs find themselves in this struggle without proper coping mechanisms.

But still, if the goal really is to maintain loving, healthy family relationships, it’s crucial to be mindful of any self sabotaging behaviors, and continuity working through those insecurities. That goes for MILs and non-MILs alike.

Generate ALT toxic mother in law, mil, parenting, boundaries, toxic mil, mother in law, motherhood, family, mom adviceA couple with their mother/mother-in-lawPhoto credit: Canva

For those looking to be the best mother-in-law they can be, here are a few pieces of advice:

Don't make it about you

It can be difficult to accept that you might not be the #1 woman in your kid’s life anymore, but it’s important both for you and the couple that those potential feelings of rejection get reframed. After all, there's truly no love lost.

@heyjanellemarie

Mother-In-Law Support Line: Grandma Shower……we have a new character, the MIL has entered the chat 😏 Story submitted by sadly more than one follower 😳 #satire #motherinlaw #toxicmotherinlaw #babyshower #newmom #expectingmom #etiquette


Use your words to uplift, not criticize

Words are powerful. Use them wisely. A little complement now and then goes a long way.

Back off

Let the couple raise their kids, and solve their problems, as they see fit. Trust that you can let them handle their own. Even when intentions are good, offers of help without being asked for it can be seen as criticism.

@heyjanellemarie

I’m a Daughter-In-Law…… #daughterinlaw #satire #motherinlaw #inlaws #marriage #millennials


Invite and Include

Leaving people out leads to resentment. Always invite kids and their spouses to join performances, graduations, birthday celebrations, and other family events, whether or not you think they want to or can attend.

And, of course…fill your own cup.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Swim coach's reaction when toddler tries to kiss him is a masterclass in teaching boundaries

People are impressed with how expertly and professionally he handled it.

Representative photo credit: Canva

It takes a village, as they say.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Watch:


Teaching boundaries to children
byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile


His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"

"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."

"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."

"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."

Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy

"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."

"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January

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Mom issues important warning to tween parents about 'the fire truck game'

It's really not a game at all.

Representative Image from Canva

Every parent should know about this game. Many have experienced it as kids.

Nurse and mom Jinny Schmidt wants parents to be aware of a game that’s circulating amongst tweens right now, because it’s not a game at all.

In a PSA posted to her TikTok, Schmidt shared that her daughter informed her that boys in her class were beginning to play what she called “The Fire Truck Game.”

As Schmidt begins to describe what the “game” entails, it’s easy to see why she’s concerned. All parents should be.

Here’s how the game works: a boy puts his hand on a girl’s lower thigh. He tells her, “My hand is a fire truck” as he slowly moves it up her leg. When the girl gets uncomfortable, she is supposed to say, “Red light.” Except for when the girl says, “Red light,” the boy responds with, “Sorry, fire trucks don’t stop for red lights.” And so they run their hand all the way up the girl’s leg, Schmidt explains, and sometimes they “touch the girl’s crotch.” Yikes.

According to Parents, this game has been around for at least a decade. Many viewers noted growing up with the Fire Truck Game, or a version of it called “The Nervous Game,” or “Red Light Green Light.” Suddenly The “Squid Game” version of “Red Light Green Light” doesn’t seem so bad.

No matter what it’s called, though, it’s touching without consent and is inappropriate on so many levels, not least of which being that it’s an excuse for sexual assault. Hence Schmidt’s alarm.

“I know that kids will be kids and kids will do some stupid shit, But we’ve got to do better teaching our boys to keep their hands off of other people and teaching our girls that it’s okay to have boundaries,” she says, before asking parents to “be aware” if they hear their kids talking about it.
@the.funny.nurse Y’all gonna see me on the 6 O’clock news. #jrhigh #kids #tween #preteen #parents #moms #momsoftiktok #dads #dadsoftiktok #teacher #teachersoftiktok #publicschool #school #firetruck #firetruckgame #firetruckgameawareness #girls #boys #game ♬ original sound - Jin-Jin

And she is, of course, absolutely right. Folks who watched her video wholeheartedly agreed that the behavior should not be tolerated, and many shared some pretty intense, although warranted, reactions to it.

“We’d be playing a game called Ambulance next,” one person wrote.

“Press charges,” said another.

“We have a game also. It’s called ‘oops I broke your finger,’” a third added.

But many also chimed in to say that they would be talking to their kids immediately about it, which is probably the best route overall. That way kids can protect themselves, and others around them.

Middle school years in general are pretty rough. They can be just as difficult to navigate for parents as they can be for the kids going through them. It’s painful to watch your still baby-faced child go through many of the same awful pains you did—many unavoidable. But some things, like terrible and abusive games, can be avoided. Make sure to keep your tweens safe and aware by having those important conversations when you can.


This article originally appeared in April.

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