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It doesn't matter whether Brett Kavanaugh is 'guilty' of sexual assault.

For the past week, Americans have argued about whether or not Brett Kavanaugh is guilty of sexual assault. But at this point, it doesn’t really matter.

Of course, his guilt or innocence matters in some contexts. It matters to him and his loved ones. It matters to Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford and her loved ones. It matters to the sexual assault victims who see themselves in Ford’s testimony. It matters to our public discourse surrounding sexual violence.

But as far as whether or not Brett Kavanaugh should be confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice—which is why we’re all here to begin with—it doesn’t matter. At this point, even if the various sexual assault allegations against him were 100% false, even if it’s all a “sham” as Lindsey Graham claims, even if this is one great big partisan hit job to make him appear unfit, none of it would matter.

The Senate screens a candidate for SCOTUS so that they can “advise and consent” on the nominee. In doing so, they’re examining not only his education and judicial record, but also whether or not he has what it takes to serve a lifetime appointment in the highest judicial office in the land.

Naturally, putting an attempted rapist on the bench would not be an ideal choice, but we don’t have definitive proof of that. What we do have now is undeniable proof that he is not fit for the job.  

Brett Kavanaugh disqualified himself in the Senate hearing with behavior unbefitting a Supreme Court Justice.

For the sake of argument, let’s say that he is completely innocent of all allegations. How he responds to such allegations is still important. How he behaves when questioned, how he expresses himself, how he comports himself under pressure—these are all aspects of “judicial temperament” that the Senate needs to take into consideration.

The concept of judicial temperament is somewhat elusive. While there is no definitive description of what it looks like, we tend to know it when we see it—and more importantly, we know it when we don’t.

The American Bar Association simplifies what makes a good judge in its online curriculum for educators with a list of character qualities which we might consider when defining "judicial temperament":

Civil

Humble

Courteous

Patient

Empathetic

Trustworthy

Honest

Skeptical yet trusting

Open-minded

Fair

A good listener

Someone who asks questions

Unbiased

Perceptive

Helpful

Realistic

Self-confident

Efficient

Firm and in control

Effective

Diligent

Reputable

Responsive

Deliberative

Diversity conscious

Recognized member of community

Good role model

If those are the qualities we should expect from any judge, a nominee for the Supreme Court should exemplify them to the highest degree. Did Judge Kavanaugh exemplify each of these qualities to the highest degree in that Senate hearing, while under oath, in front of the entire nation?

On several counts, no, he did not.

His partisan jabs show that he is not “unbiased,” and his demonstrable lies knock out “honest.”

A judge who is supposed to be impartial and unbiased doesn’t say things like, “This whole two-week effort has been a calculated and orchestrated political hit, fueled with apparent pent-up anger about President Trump and the 2016 election. Fear that has been unfairly stoked about my judicial record. Revenge on behalf of the Clintons. and millions of dollars in money from outside left-wing opposition groups.” I mean, really.

A judge who is supposed to be honest doesn’t say that “boofed” and “Devil’s Triangle” are innocent drinking terms when everyone who is familiar with those terms know that they are salacious euphemisms for specific sex acts. A judge who is honest doesn’t try to make obvious youthful transgressions, no matter how embarrassing, into something they are not.

An honest person, when confronted with undignified things they were obviously party to in the past, says, “I did some things in my past that I am not proud of. The culture in which I spent my youth had many toxic and unhealthy elements to it, and I did and said things I regret and am embarrassed by. I have learned a lot and changed a lot since then.” They don’t keep saying all they did was go to church, play sports, drink responsibly, and not have sex.

Even if he were innocent of all sexual assault allegations, it’s obvious that he was immersed in a heavy partying culture in high school and college that all of us recognize. Why not just own up to that? Sometimes telling the truth is hard, but if you’re trying to be a Supreme Court Justice, there’s no room for any dishonesty of any kind, especially under oath.

Perhaps most disturbing was his barely contained rage and his disrespectful interchanges with Senators. What I saw was not “civil,” “courteous,” and “firm and in control.”

I went into the hearing with an open mind, and was honestly shocked by Kavanaugh’s behavior. I’ve never seen anything like that from someone who is supposed to be a highly respected professional. When Senator Klobuchar asked him if he’d ever drunk so much that he didn’t remember something, his response was "You're asking about blackout. I don't know, have you?" Who says that? Then after she calmly asked him to answer the question, he doubled down about her drinking again.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what the ABA means by "Someone who asks questions." Why would you not simply answer the question?

Sen. Klobuchar and Kavanaugh share tense exchange over judge's drinking habits

Sen. Klobuchar: There’s never been a case where you drank so much that you didn’t remember what happened the night before?Judge Kavanaugh: “I don't know. Have you?”…Klobuchar: “I have no drinking problem, Judge.”Kavanaugh: “Nor do I.” https://nbcnews.to/2N6dSVZ

Posted by NBC News on Thursday, September 27, 2018

To his credit, he apologized to the Senator afterward. However, the fact that it happened in the first place is unacceptable. So was his yelling throughout the hearing.

People keep saying that he has a right to be upset and that anyone would respond with that level of anger at being falsely accused. But he’s not just anyone—he’s the nominee for the highest judicial position in the land.

It's not like this accusation had just happened that morning and he was having a knee-jerk reaction. He had at least ten days to gather his emotions and composure before appearing before the Senate. I don’t fault him for arriving at the hearing ready to defend himself; however, I do fault him for being unable to do so with the decorum that we should expect from a Supreme Court Justice.

Whether he sexually assaulted anyone is not the most relevant question, especially since it’s unlikely to be definitively proven one way or another. The question is whether he has what it takes to do the job he’s lined up for.

As a Supreme Court Justice, he will be subjected to unending hate mail, his character and beliefs will be constantly attacked, and his motivations for his judgments will be called into question every single time. He has to be able to handle those attacks with self-control, civility, and impartiality. That’s the job.

And he has proven, beyond a reasonable doubt, that he’s not up for it.

From Your Site Articles
Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.

The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

 For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

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science
Family

Dad found out his son bullied a kid at school and came up with a brilliant teaching moment

"I told him that we have the opportunity to make things right."

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

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fatherhood
Education

Expert says there's only one laundry cycle you ever need, no matter what's being washed

Straight from Patric Richardson, the "Laundry Guy" himself.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

community
Family

A mom asked if it's appropriate to make a babysitter do housework and set the internet on fire

They're just sitting there while my kids sleep.

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Should babysitters be expected to clean?

When it comes to babysitting, you can hit the jackpot with someone who not only enjoys hanging out with your kiddos but also cleans out of boredom. The only babysitter I've had that experience with is my mom, but I do hear they do exist. While walking into a spotless house after a much-needed night out would be amazing, it's not really part of a standard babysitting package.

Typically, whoever babysits for you is solely there to focus on the well-being of your children. They feed them snacks, play games with them, and follow their bedtime routine to the letter. Then they hang out on your couch reminding Netflix that they're still watching and wait for you to return. Sure, they clean up dishes from dinner and whatever toys were pulled out during their time with your kids, but they don't typically clean your house.

But in a private parenting group I belong to, a long debate was started when a mom asked a group of 260k of her closest friends if it would be appropriate for a parent to ask a babysitter to clean their home.

The anonymous mom explained that her college-aged daughter had recently started babysitting for a family, but on the second day, her duties suddenly changed. There was a list of chores waiting for the babysitter that included cleaning the family's dishes and cleaning up messes that were there before the sitter arrived.

This revelation set off a firestorm of comments with many agreeing that anything outside of cleaning up after the children while they're in your care is a separate job. But not everyone was on the same page and it was clear that this was a topic that was going to cause some intense debate. Since summer months are here, there's no wonder this topic is coming up and views are split.

woman holding kid in the street

Should babysitters be expected to clean, one mom asks.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Scary Mommy recently published an article posing a similar question, only this was coming from a parent who wanted her babysitter to clean while her children slept. Elizabeth Narins explains that she and her husband are stretched thin and have an active toddler she jokingly calls a "toy tornado."

"Given the amount of housework that clearly needs to be done, paying someone to sit on our toy-covered couch during naps or after bedtime just seems... inefficient," Narins wrote before posing the question. "Is it completely out of line for me to ask her to declutter when my kids are in bed?"

Whether it's the expert interviewed for the Scary Mommy article or the parents in the private group, there does seem to be one common theme among the discourse: Any additional chores should be clarified in the original job description, and if it wasn't, then it should be directly brought up in a conversation with the babysitter.

Many parents in the comments believed that a housekeeper should be hired in addition to the babysitter, while others thought the babysitter should be offered more money for the additional work. But there were several people who thought it was just common courtesy for a babysitter to clean the house while the kids were asleep.

It may seem that you're paying a babysitter to do nothing while your children sleep, but you're paying them to be there in the event of an emergency. No matter which side of the debate you're on, it seems proper communication about expectations will save everyone a headache in the future.

Do you think cleaning should be expected from a babysitter?


This article originally appeared on 6.8.23

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babysitter cleaning
Heroes

Heart stopping video shows group of drivers working together to rescue man from burning car

This is what teamwork looks like.

CBS Mornings|YouTube

Video shows group of strangers trying to free man from burning car

Getting into a car crash is not something people hope they experience in their lifetimes, and if it does happen you hope it's just a minor fender bender. Unfortunately not all car accidents are minor. One man found himself in a pretty major accident on a Minnesota highway becoming trapped in his car.

According to eye witnesses, the man struck a light pole on the highway, landing with the driver's side of the car pinned against the guardrail. The car quickly becomes engulfed in flames as other drivers rush to the man's side in an attempt to free him from the fiery vehicle. Kadir Tolla caught the whole thing on his dash-cam accidentally when he jumped out of his running car to help.

Multiple people fought flames trying desperately to pull the car door open to let the driver out, but the guardrail thwarts their efforts repeatedly. At some point, Tolla runs to grab a large piece of hard plastic he found on the road and attempts to break the window. Nothing seems to be going in favor of the civilian rescuers.

"He was saying, 'pull me out, pull me out, pull me out,'" Tolla tells Fox News. "We could crack the door a little bit, you know, give him a little air. It [the flames] was actually smacking us in our face but we was just jumping back."

Eventually a "highway helper" arrived and breaks the glass on the driver's side window, which allows the other drivers to pull the man through the window, carrying him to safety. They got him out just in the knick of time because before they could get the unidentified man away from the car, the flames began to dance right where the driver was sitting seconds before.

The entire video is heart stopping, and shows the power of everyday people working together to save a stranger. Watch the heroic rescue below.

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