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27 Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to remember under the new president.

Five days after Americans celebrate and honor Martin Luther King Jr., Donald Trump will be inaugurated as our 45th president.

It's been nearly 50 years since King was assassinated for his role as a leader in the fight for civil rights and racial equality. As we enter this new era — one in which, for many, it feels like King's dream of America is far out of reach — it's more important than ever to reflect on what King truly stood for.

Here are 27 quotes from the man himself that show us his actual ideal vision of America — and how far we still have to go before we get there.


Martin Luther King Jr. during the March on Washington, D.C. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

1. King reminded us to stand up and speak out against the injustices we see in our world.

"To accept passively an unjust system is to cooperate with that system; thereby the oppressed become as evil as the oppressor," King wrote in his essay "Three Ways of Meeting Oppression."

"Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good. ... To accept injustice or segregation passively is to say to the oppressor that his actions are morally right."

2. It's better to be frustrated with an unjust world than to just accept it.

In his sermon at Temple Israel of Hollywood, King said, "There are some things in our nation to which I’m proud to be maladjusted, to which I call upon all men of goodwill to be maladjusted until the good society is realized. ... I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination. I never intend to become adjusted to religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism and the self-defeating effects of physical violence."

3. Just because something is legal, that doesn't make it right, and not everything that is illegal is wrong.

"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail."

4. How do you tell the difference between right and wrong? It's easy.

King explained this simply, again in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail": "Any law that uplifts the human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust."

He expanded on this idea in his "Rediscovering Lost Values" sermon: "Some things are right and some things are wrong. Eternally so, absolutely so. It's wrong to hate. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong. It's wrong in America, it's wrong in Germany, it's wrong in Russia, it's wrong in China. It was wrong in 2000 B.C., and it's wrong in 1954 A.D. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong."

5. Everyone deserves access to health care.

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane," King said at the Second National Convention of the Medical Committee for Human Rights in 1966.

6. Everyone also deserves to earn a living wage, have a safe work environment, and not be exploited by their bosses.

"The labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation but enlarged it," King said in a 1961 address to the AFL-CIO, "by raising the living standards of millions, labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted the whole nation to undreamed-of levels of production. Those who attack labor forget these simple truths, but history remembers them."

7. King believed every person has a right to food and shelter.

"Why should there be hunger and privation in any land, in any city, at any table when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life?" King said in his 1964 Nobel lecture, "The Quest for Peace and Justice."

8. King wanted people to know there are fair ways to distribute wealth within the framework of democracy.

"You can use your powerful economic resources to wipe poverty from the face of the Earth," King said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

"God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and He has left in this universe 'enough and to spare' for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."

9. Money is not a measurement of virtue, righteousness, or meaning.

"I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life," King also said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

10. People have a right to vote. Period.

"All types of conniving methods are still being used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters. The denial of this sacred right is a tragic betrayal of the highest mandates of our democratic tradition," King said in his "Give Us the Ballot" speechand it's still true.

"... Give us the ballot, and we will no longer have to worry the federal government about our basic rights."

11. From employment to marriage to education to health care and beyond, civil and social rights matter for all people.

"If America is to remain a first-class nation, it cannot have second-class citizens," King preached in "The Rising Tide of Racial Consciousness."

12. We can't pass laws to make people get along with or accept people, but we can and should pass laws to protect the oppressed from harm.

(Lookin' at you, HB2 and First Amendment Defense Act.)

"It may be true that morality can't be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. It may be that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important also," King said in a 1966 speech at Southern Methodist University.

13. The most morally bankrupt people are the ones concerned more about getting caught than about doing something wrong in the first place.

"In a sense, we are no longer concerned about the Ten Commandments. ... Everybody is busy, as I have said so often, trying to obey the eleventh commandment: 'Thou shalt not get caught,'" King said in "Keep Moving From This Mountain."

14. King understood the U.S. is not a Christian nation.

Yes, he was a minister, but King was also a firm believer in separation of church and state.

"I endorse it [the Supreme Court's decision to outlaw prayer in school]," King explained in a 1965 interview with Playboy. "I think it was correct. Contrary to what many have said, it sought to outlaw neither prayer nor belief in God. In a pluralistic society such as ours, who is to determine what prayer shall be spoken and by whom? Legally, constitutionally or otherwise, the state certainly has no such right."

15. King also wanted people to know religion is no excuse for scientific ignorance.

"Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power; religion gives man wisdom which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary," he wrote in his book "Strength to Love."

"Science keeps religion from sinking into the valley of crippling irrationalism and paralyzing obscurantism. Religion prevents science from falling into the marsh of obsolete materialism and moral nihilism."

16. King was pro-choice and valued the many good things Planned Parenthood contributes to the world.

"Family planning, to relate population to world resources, is possible, practical, and necessary," he said in his acceptance speech for the Margaret Sanger Award from Planned Parenthood.

17. King spoke passionately about our economic struggles being largely the same, regardless of skin color.

"All too often when there is mass unemployment in the black community, it's referred to as a social problem, and when there is mass unemployment in the white community, it's referred to as a depression. But there is no basic difference," he said in his "Other America" speech from 1968.

"Most of the poverty stricken people of America," he said later in the speech, "are persons who are working every day, and they end up getting part-time wages for full-time work. ... This has caused a great deal of bitterness. It has caused a great deal of agony. It has caused ache and anguish. It has caused great despair, and we have seen the angered expressions of this despair and this bitterness in the violent rebellions that have taken place in cities all over our country."

18. This is why King believed that white laborers and black civil rights activists should work together toward their shared goals.

"Our needs are identical with labor's needs: decent wages, fair working conditions, livable housing, old-age security, health, and welfare measures, conditions in which families can grow, have education for their children and respect in the community," he said in a speech to the AFL-CIO.

19. Protests and riots aren't a problem. They're symptoms of bigger, systemic issues.

"A riot is the language of the unheard," King said in "The Other America." "And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity."

20. There's never a correct "time" or "way" to achieve justice and change.

"I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was 'well timed' in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "For years now I have heard the word 'wait!' It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This 'wait' has almost always meant 'never.' We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that 'justice too long delayed is justice denied.'"

21. Michelle Obama may have perfected the catchphrase "When they go low, we go high," but it was central to King's beliefs as well.

"We must not seek to defeat or humiliate the enemy but to win his friendship and understanding," he said in "Loving Your Enemies," urging us all to resist our natural instincts toward pettiness and spite. "At times we are able to humiliate our worst enemy. Inevitably, his weak moments come and we are able to thrust in his side the spear of defeat. But this we must not do. Every word and deed must contribute to an understanding with the enemy and release those vast reservoirs of goodwill which have been blocked by impenetrable walls of hate."

22. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion.

From "Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence":

23. Although he was committed to nonviolence, King also made it clear: You cannot be moderate in the face of oppression and hate.

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice?"

24. King warned of the dangers of giving power to thin-skinned egomaniacs, too.

"The individual who is self-centered, the individual who is egocentric ends up being very sensitive, a very touchy person," King said in "Conquering Self-Centeredness." "And that is one of the tragic effects of a self-centered attitude, that it leads to a very sensitive and touchy response toward the universe. These are the people you have to handle with kid gloves because they are touchy, they are sensitive. And they are sensitive because they are self-centered. They are too absorbed in self and anything gets them off, anything makes them angry."

25. The U.S. president should be held to a higher standard of diplomacy, humility, and temperament.

As he said in his Emancipation Proclamation Centennial Address, "No president can be great, or even fit for office, if he attempts to accommodate to injustice to maintain his political balance."

26. A society is built up by people working together.

"No matter where you stand, no matter how much popularity you have, no matter how much education you have, no matter how much money you have, you have it because in this universe helped you to get it," King said in his speech about self-centeredness.

"And when you see that, you can't be arrogant, you can't be supercilious. You discover that you have your position because of the events of history and because of individuals in the background making it possible for you to stand there."

27. "All we say to America is, 'Be true to what you said on paper.'"

As King said in "I’ve Been to the Mountaintop":

It's more important than ever that we honor King's legacy.

Maybe if we start to hold ourselves to that higher standard he believed in, we can finally turn his dreams into reality and make a better America for everyone.

34 broken bones, a mural, and Buddy the Elf—what these three things have in common
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The Bank of America Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday, October 12th. Every runner who took on the enormous feat of 26.2 miles is truly an inspiration. We’re proud to share three outstanding stories about the power of community, giving back and crossing the finish line. Not only did they run an outstanding distance, but they each also gave back by fundraising for an organization that changes lives for the better.

Running a marathon is so much more than race day. It’s sticking to a schedule, getting enough rest, learning how to fuel your body for long distances, and—perhaps the most challenging of all—building mental resilience.



Meet Leanne: Running after 34 Bone Fractures

Leanne was only 12 years old when during her middle school cross country practice, she fractured her right tibia, the shin bone in her leg. This wasn’t Leanne’s first time breaking a bone—it was actually her 34th fracture. After many years of being overlooked as "clumsy," Leanne felt immense relief and recognition when a doctor diagnosed her with brittle bone disease, an incredibly rare condition.

Lurie Children’s provided a care plan for Leanne to build strength and start running again. And as of October 12th, Leanne ran her second Bank of America Chicago Marathon. She said in an interview, “I never thought I’d run again. But against the odds, here I am, training for my second Bank of America Chicago Marathon... all because of Lurie Children’s.”

Leanne’s impressive journey is a testament to the incredible research of Lurie Children’s, where she gives back by volunteering at the hospital and running on its behalf. Talk about being a true inspiration.


Meet Everett: Running to Inspire Through Art

Everett is an artist who creates beautiful murals around the city of Chicago. He uses his art as a tool for storytelling for community and connection.

In addition to being an artist, Everett is a runner. He ran the 2025 Bank of America Chicago Marathon on behalf of Peace Runners 773, a non-profit organization that strengthens the community of Chicago. In this video, we follow Everett on a run to visit some of his favorite murals. The run ends at Garfield Park, where Everett just finished a mural that he dedicated to the organization—symbolizing growth, strength and togetherness. Everett didn’t stop there.

While building his strength as a runner, Everett is strengthening his city of Chicago. Through his running and artwork, Everett has brought more awareness and resources to his community.

Meet Joseph: Running on Behalf of Special Olympics


Joseph ran the Chicago Marathon on behalf of Special Olympics, dedicating each mile to one of 26 friends with a developmental disability. The last 1.2 miles were extra special. It was for one of his closest friends, Matt.

In this video, Joseph runs to Matt’s house. For every mile of this training run, he tells us a heartwarming anecdote about Matt. They met at camp and soon, Matt will be a groomsman in Joseph’s wedding. The duo even sends a Christmas card every year—most notably dressing up as Buddy the Elf and sharing a bowl of spaghetti with maple syrup (spoiler: it doesn’t taste good).

As Joseph runs, he says, “Before we get to Matt, a quick note about why I’m running on behalf of Special Olympics. Matt and I love sports. And so do many of my other friends. Donations help provide year-round sports training and competition for more than 20,000 people with intellectual disabilities across Illinois.”

Joseph is the perfect example of inspiration. Not only did he run an entire marathon, but he also found inspiration in his friends who love sports as much as he does.


Leanne, Everett and Joseph are three incredible people who have shown how much strength and perseverance it takes to run a marathon. Each runner is both empowering themselves and their community. Their dedication to the Bank of America Chicago Marathon shows that the people of Chicago have a passion for the city, their neighbors and their personal achievements.

Joy

Six-year study that gave Gen Zers $400 revealed a simple path for long-term happiness

In a world with so many self-help methods, this cut through the noise.

happiness, happiness study, happy students, psychology, students in college, post-its, college students, Cornell

A group of students working on a white board.

Members of Gen Z (those who are 13 to 28) are going through an unprecedented mental health crisis. Forty-two percent of Gen Zers have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, with depression and anxiety leading the list. Over 70% feel stressed about work, money, or the future. And, as the most digitally connected generation, loneliness is at an all-time high.

Many Gen Zers say that social media plays a significant role in their mental health problems, whether that’s being emotionally manipulated by big-tech algorithms or by feeling depressed after comparing themselves with their friends and influencers pretending they live a perfect life.


This mental health crisis has created a world where self-help and therapy speak have become everyday jargon, and young people are an open audience to the world of self-help influencers, happiness hacks, and dopamine detox rituals. However, what if all of this could easily be solved by something relatively as simple as having a purpose in life?

How does a sense of purpose lead to happiness?

Cornell psychologist Anthony Burrow studied how his Gen Z students reacted to being given purpose and found that it drastically improved their happiness. The Contribution Project started in 2019 when Burrow gave students $400 “no strings” contributions to “pursue what matters most,” whether that meant helping themselves, their communities, or family members.

Burrow and his team measured the Gen Zers who received the $400 versus those who didn’t, and shared their results with The Washington Post. Those who received the $400 were able to contribute, scoring much higher than those who did not on sense of belonging, latent well-being, sense of purpose, and feeling useful. These positive feelings lasted for up to eight weeks after they received the contribution.


Over the past six years, more than 1,200 students have received the contributions, and the results strongly support the idea that having a sense of purpose is closely linked to happiness.

“Invite people to think about a contribution they want to make and help them [to] make that contribution, and that person may walk around with greater purpose than if they hadn’t done that,” Burrow told The Washington Post.

Burrow was also happy to find that 95% of the students used their contribution to benefit others.

Gen Zers are having a hard time finding meaning in life

It makes sense that having a sense of purpose could make a big difference in a young person’s life. Traditionally, college is when many people begin building an identity and a sense of purpose, but a recent study found that among young people, meaning is hard to come by.

A recent study found that 58% of young adults said they experienced little to no purpose or meaning in their lives in the past month; half said that their mental health was negatively influenced by “not knowing what to do with my life.”

This comes at a time when many institutions where people found purpose and meaning are on the decline. The same study found those who reported not having felt a sense of purpose or meaning were twice as likely to have mental health challenges, predominantly anxiety and depression.

woman, distress, gen z, mental health challenges A young woman in distress. via Canva/Photos

At a time when so many are struggling with a lack of meaning in their lives, it’s not too surprising that giving them a small sense of purpose did wonders for their mental health. Technology may have solved boredom and given people access to an incredible amount of information, art, and content. But it’s time to look a bit harder at what it doesn’t provide and see how we can bring a sense of purpose to people’s lives.

Education

Social skills expert shares 3 'magic phrases' that make you more likable

Sometimes, we need to overcommunicate how we feel about others.

vanessa van edwards, likability, communications skills, people skills, people laughing, good advice

Vanessa Van Edwards and people at a party.

A familiar misstep people make when trying to be likable is trying to impress others. They want to show they are funny, intelligent, and a great storyteller. They think being the life of the party is the road to likability. However, study after study shows that it’s a lot easier to be likable. All you have to do is show interest in others. To put it simply: If you like people, you will become more likable.

There’s a slight wrinkle in the notion that liking more people makes you more likable. Many people you like aren’t sure that you like them. The psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias says it best. We tend to overestimate how clearly we broadcast our feelings and intentions towards others. So, the person we like and who likes us may not know the feeling is mutual.


“We think our signals are obvious,” Vanessa Van Edwards told Steve Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast. “If we like someone or if we’re having a good time, we think, ‘Oh, they for sure know it.’ They don’t.” Van Edwards is a communications expert and the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People.

To help people clearly communicate their feelings, Van Edwards suggests three “magic phrases” to show you care. Check out the video below.


Phrase 1: ‘I was just thinking of you’

“You think of a lot of people in your life all the time,” she said. “If you are thinking of someone and you can text them: ‘I was just thinking of you, how are you?’ I was just thinking of you, how’d that project go?’ was just thinking of you. It has been a while since we talked.’ You see a movie, you see a documentary, you see a matcha latte, you see a mug, you see a ceramic candle, and you’re like, ‘Ah, this made me think of you,’” Van Edwards said. “My text messages, my conversations, are full of actual moments where I was triggered to think of that person, actually,” she said, noting the importance of being genuine. “If you don’t think of someone, they’re not a person you need to have in your life.”


Phrase 2: ‘You’re always so …’

"So if you're with someone and you're impressed by them or they're interesting or they're funny, say, 'You always make me laugh. You’re always so interesting,’ or ‘You’re always so great in interviews.' Giving them a label that is a positive label is the best gift you can give someone, because it's fighting that signal amplification bias,” she continued.


Phrase 3: ‘Last time we talked, you mentioned …’

“We are so honored when we get brain space—that you remembered and you’re going to bring it up,” she said. “And you specifically bring up something that they lit up with, something they were like, ‘Ah, it was great, it was exciting, it was wonderful.’”


If studies show the more you like other people, the more likable you become, Van Edwards has the next logical step in becoming more likable. She makes it clear that, due to signal amplification bias, many people you like may not even know it. When we employ her three ways to be more likeable, though, we can let people know we like them without making them feel uncomfortable, thus establishing bond to build on.

90-10 rule, happiness, life hacks, woman happy, woman angry, blonde woman

A woman is both happy and angry.

In the field of human psychology, there is a popular concept known as the illusion of control, which states that people believe they have greater control over the events in their lives than they do. If you think about it, a lot of our lives are controlled by chance, whether it's our genetics, the families we were born into, the time and place where we were born, and chance encounters that change the trajectory of our lives, such as the moment we met our spouse or someone with a job opportunity.

People who have it good are more likely to attribute their good fortunes to their effort, while those who are having difficulty getting by are more likely to blame bad luck. No matter how we delude ourselves, one thing is certain: many situations we find ourselves in throughout life are out of our control, and our real power lies in our ability to react.


Knowing how to react to situations beyond our control is the crux of the 90-10 rule.

What is the 90-10 rule?

The 90-10 rule, attributed to Stephen Covey in the bestseller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and 90% is decided by how you react.

People often explain the 90-10 rule by sharing a story of a mishap at breakfast.

You are having breakfast in business attire, and your young daughter spills coffee on your shirt. You reprimand her and your spouse for putting the cup of coffee too close to the table's ledge. Your daughter gets upset and misses her school bus. So you have to drive her to school, and because you’re speeding, you get a $180 ticket. You arrive at work late, and the day spirals from there. When you get home from work, you have an annoyed wife and child.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

In an alternative universe, the coffee spills on your shirt, and you forgive your daughter. You change your shirt, your daughter makes the bus, and you get to work five minutes early. Now, instead of having a day that spiraled out of control, taking a moment to see the spilled coffee as an accident changed the entire day.

What happens when people skillfully respond to events out of their control over a long period? Their lives will be completely different than if they chose to take things out of their control personally.

Here are 3 ways to apply the 90-10 rule.

The key is not to take minor inconveniences personally.

1. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water off a duck's back. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.

2. If someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t take it personally; who cares if you get to work 10 seconds later? There's no point in letting it ruin your day.

3. If you get to the airport and find out your flight is delayed, don’t get mad at the person working at the ticket counter. It’s beyond their control. The plane will arrive at some point, whether you get worked up or not.

airport, airplane, happy man airport, luggage, flights, A man walking through the airport.via Canva/Photos

The 90-10 rule mirrors the "Let them" theory championed by Mel Robbins, a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, and former lawyer. The first thing is to acknowledge that others are imperfect and that you cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," Robbins said in a viral video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."

Remember, you can’t control everything, but you can choose how you react to minor annoyances. Choose to respond in a skillful, thoughtful manner without taking things seriously, and you can quickly get past the minor annoyances without causing the adverse ripple effect that can ruin your entire day.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.



couple, marriage, food, sharing food, restaurant

Sharing is caring (at restaurants, anyway).

When you decide to marry the person you're madly in love with, it's easy to assume things will just work out. But as we all know from the statistics, that's not really how lifelong commitment works. Relationships are wonderful when they're good, but good relationships rarely just happen on their own. It takes intention and communication and dedication on the part of both partners to have a happy, healthy marriage.

What that looks like is different for every couple, of course, but it's always good to see specific examples of what helps a relationship thrive. Perhaps that's why a wife and husband's video sharing the "7 unspoken rules" of their marriage has nearly 1.5 million views in a week. Not only are Lila and Sean's rules rooted in solid relationship dynamics, but the way they deliver them makes it clear that they truly adore one another.


@liliannawilde

the 7 unspoken rules of our marriage! (except they are kind of spoken rules because we talk too much lol) @Sean Kolar #couple #couplestiktok #couplegoals #marriage #marriedlife

Rule #1: You have to "riff the bit"

Let's say your wife is making dinner and you walk into the kitchen. She says, "Hallo, my dahhling!" as if she's a character in Downton Abbey. What do you do?

"If someone comes in and they're improving—they have a character, or they're talking in a British accent, you gotta go with the joke," says Lila. "It's an improv house. This is 'yes, and'…it's a 'yes, and' kind of environment here." Then she and Sean give a perfect, brief example as they both don a Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL accent.

coffee talk, barbara, snl, talk amongst yourselves, verklempt Barbara from "Coffee Talk" on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This rule is all about playfulness and creativity and delighting in one another's silliness. It says, "I see your goofy and celebrate it." It also helps you both not take things too seriously.

Rule #2: Grocery shop treat

"Whoever does the grocery shopping has to pick up a sweet treat, a surprise, for the other person," says Sean. "Usually Lili will pick me up a kombucha or something, and I'll pick her up chocolate or flowers."

gif, south park, chocolate, flowers, treats couple chocolate GIF by South Park Giphy

Why it's worth considering: Assuming you're switching off the grocery shopping pretty evenly, this rule is a great opportunity to show thoughtfulness and consideration to your partner. Nothing major, just a little treat. The little things sometimes feel like big things over time.

Rule #3: She gets the rewards

Sean and Lili explain that Lili gets the free coffee on the punch card when they've reached 10 coffees and get the 11th one free. Any time there's a reward, she gets it. They do not explain this one, however…

coffee, rewards, free coffee, free drink, loyalty card She always gets the rewards. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: There are two reasons why this rule makes sense. One, it eliminates deciding each time who gets the reward, thereby removing any possibility for bickering or competition. Sometimes a clear rule helps simplify things. Why her and not him? Well, there's plenty of research on the disproportionate burden women bear when it comes to household and family duties, even when a couple tries to even it out. A free coffee once in a while seems like a fair trade off.

Rule #4: A joke is only a joke if we both find it funny

"A joke is only a joke if both of us are laughing, says Sean."

"If one of us is laughing and the other is embarrassed or scared or upset, then it's not a joke," adds Lili. "That can't continue. It's only funny if we both find it funny."

joke, schitt's creek, funny, laughing, bad joke Joking Schitts Creek GIF by CBC Giphy

Why it's worth considering: This is just a good life rule in general. Humor can be a great way to bond, and it can also be used to hurt someone. If only one of you is laughing, it's not funny.

Rule #5: Share everything at a restaurant

"Everything we order, we're splitting," Lili says. "There is nothing that is just yours or just mine." She says it would make her so sad if Sean said, "I don't want you to have a bite of this."

couple, marriage, food, sharing food, restaurant You don't have to go to this length of sharing. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, having this understanding from the get go prevents a lot of annoyance over someone taking bites of your food. Some couples may actually set up an opposite rule—no sharing food at restaurants—and that might work for them, too. But sharing food as a matter of course lets you share the experience together, compare dishes, talk about the flavors, etc. Just make sure you're both cognizant of not hogging anything.

Rule #6: If the dog is comfy on you, you don't have to do anything

"You cannot disrupt the dog," says Lili. "If Beans is cozy, you win, you get to stay cozy with Beans." The other person has to do dishes, bring the person with the dog water, etc.

dog, pets, cozy, couple, marriage Whoever has the dog on their lap must be served. Photo credit: Canva

Why it's worth considering: First of all, this is the rule at most homes with pets that I know. Secondly, it's a sign that you're caring for something together and recognize that caregiving is an important role. Caregiving will be a big part of a lifelong relationship, from raising kids to taking care of aging parents.

Rule #7: The money rule

Lili pulls this from Barbara once again: "I've got two rules for this marriage. Number one, you don't tell me how you make your money. And number two, I don't tell you how I spend it."

lifelong relationship, from raising kids to taking care of aging parents. Mike Myers playing Barbara on SNL Giphy

Why it's worth considering: It's not. It's a joke. (According to Lili in the comments.)

People loved seeing Lili and Sean's rules, calling them "wholesome" and "healthy." While it's not a great idea to have rigid or controlling rules in a relationship, rules that establish healthy boundaries, methods of communication, the way things are done in the household, etc. can actually be a big help to a couple. And while Lili and Sean's "rules" might seem silly on the surface, they're actually rooted in healthy relationship dynamics. As long as a couple comes up with them together, with both people in full agreement, it might be a good idea to create your own "rules" in you relationship. Lili and Sean clearly had fun with this together, and that alone is a promising indicator of a happy marriage.

You can follow Lila and Sean for more on TikTok.