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Joy

Woman who gave $100 to two refugee sisters on a plane is reunited with them 23 years later

Little did she know how life changing that act of kindness would be.

woman finds stranger she gave $100 to 23 years ago
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Who knows where kindness may lead?

Often, we have little awareness of how our actions might affect the lives of others. Our kindness simply goes into the ether, maybe to return as good karma, who knows? And most of the time that’s fine, considering that the act was probably done to help someone else, not for recognition. But still, have you ever done something kind for a stranger, and wondered, whatever happened to that person?

In 1999, two sisters boarded a plane from Amsterdam to the United States, fleeing their home in the former Yugoslavia. The Republic of Yugoslavia had been continuously bombed by NATO for three months during the Kosovo War, in an attempt to thwart widespread ethnic cleansing of Albanian civilians. The sisters didn’t have a penny to their name—they left behind everything they knew. Only one of them could speak English.

A woman sat next to them on the plan, and, reminded of her own daughters, was moved by their frightening plight. She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. Inside she placed dangly earrings, a $100 bill and a handwritten note, which read:

“I am so sorry that the bombing of your country has caused your family any problems. I hope your stay in America will be a safe and happy one for you–Welcome to America–please use this to help you here. A friend from the plane–Tracy.”

The word “safe” had been underlined. For the refugee sisters Ayda Zugay and Vanja Contino, that had meant everything.


Zugay recalled to CNN, "It was the first time that I felt, like, relief. This is a safe place, and we can build a future here. We went from this drastic horror into this beautiful act of kindness." Zugay’s CNN interview would later help her and her sister reunite with Tracy 23 years later, and let Tracy know just how life-changing her gift was.

The search for Tracy had been a passion project years in the making.

For Zugay, Tracy’s note became a “diamond in the dark” as she navigated through her new life in America, facing prejudice toward immigrants. The impact it made was so great that every year as Memorial Day and Thanksgiving approached, Zugay would renew her search.

Over the years, Zugay had enlisted the help of airlines, hotels, Reddit and several refugee organizations. In a recent video, Zugay shared what little clues she uncovered:

“Tracy, by this time, would be a middle aged or an older woman who is amazing at tennis and had traveled for it in the past. She would have flown from Paris, where she stayed at a Holiday Inn and where she played tennis, to Amsterdam, where we met on that flight. She would have flown from Amsterdam to Minnesota, and this would have been on May 31, 1999.”

Though people were moved by her story and offered information and encouragement, she mostly met dead ends. That is, until her CNN story began circulating. More than 2 million readers saw it, including one of Tracy’s close contacts.

As Zugay surmised, Tracy (whose last name we now know is Peck), was indeed a tennis enthusiast. In 1999, she got a chance to travel internationally to play and watch the French Open. Her friend Susan Allen, a tennis coach, saw Tracy’s note on social media and recognized the handwriting.

Allen was able to put Peck in touch with Zugay and Contino, who now live in Boston and Connecticut. The three were able to finally share a long awaited emotional reunion over Zoom.

The sisters gave Peck two decades worth of stories: how they were able to survive the entire summer off of that $100 bill by eating pancake mix and Coca-Cola, how Zugay was able to graduate from Boston University and work with a nonprofit and how Contino became happily married with two children, instilled with Peck’s inclination to pay it forward. As they shared the untold chapters of their story, Zugay wore the dangly earrings given by Peck all those years ago.

We might never know where our goods deeds lead. But one thing is for certain: kindness is powerful. That next act of generosity toward a stranger could be the very saving grace they needed to change their life forever.


This article originally appeared on 5.6.22

Family

Technology expert shares the one message that can get teens to rethink their screentime

“Social media is free because you pay for it with your time.”

via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Dino Ambrosi speaks at a school assembly.

In a 2023 TEDx Talk at Laguna Blanca School, Dino Ambrosi made a startling revelation that perfectly underlines the big question of the smartphone era: What is my time worth? Ambrosi is the founder of Project Reboot and an expert at guiding teens and young adults to develop more empowering relationships with technology.

Assuming the average person now lives to 90, after calculating the average time they spend sleeping, going to school, working, cooking, eating, doing chores, sleeping, and taking care of personal hygiene, today’s 18-year-olds have only 334 months of their adult lives to themselves.

"How you spend this time will determine the quality of your life,” Ambrosi says. However, given the tech habits of today’s young people, most of those months will be spent staring at screens, leaving them with just 32 months to leave their mark on the world. "Today, the average 18-year-old in the United States is on pace to spend 93% of their remaining free time looking at a screen,” Ambrosi says.



dino ambrosi, teens and technology, smartphone addictionAn 18-year-olds remaining time, in months. via TEDx

The idea that an entire generation will spend most of their free time in front of screens is chilling. However, the message has a silver lining. Sharing this information with young people can immediately impact how they spend their time.

How to get teens to reduce their screentime

Ambrosi says his work with Project Reboot through on-campus initiatives, school assemblies, and parent workshops has taught him that teens are more concerned about time wasted on their phones than the damage it may do to their mental health. Knowing the topic that resonates can open the door for an effective dialogue about a topic that’s hard for many young people to discuss. When teens realize they are giving their entire lives away for free, they are more apt to reconsider their relationship with smartphones.

“I actually don't get through to a lot of teens, as well as when I help them realize the value of their time and then highlight the fact that that time is being stolen from them,” Ambrosi told Upworthy.

A Common Sense Media study shows that the average 13 to 18-year-old, as of 2021, spent an average of 8 hours and 39 minutes a day on entertainment screentime.

“It’s important to get them to view time as their most valuable resource that they can use to invest in themselves or enjoy life and tick the boxes on their bucket list. I really want them to see that that's something they should take control of and prioritize because we're all under the impression that social media is free, but it's actually not free. We just pay for it with our time.”

dino ambrosi, project reboot, teens smartphonesDino AMbrosi speaks at Berkeley.via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Ambrosi believes that young people are less likely to hand their time to tech companies for free when they understand its value. “I find that kids really respond to that message because nobody wants to feel manipulated, right? And giving them that sense of being wronged, which I think they have been, by tech companies that are off operating on business models that are not aligned with their well-being, is important.”

He also believes parents should be sympathetic and nonjudgmental when talking to young people about screentime because it’s a struggle that just about everyone faces and feels shame about. A little understanding will prevent them from shutting down the conversation altogether.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

How to reduce my screentime

Ambrosi has some suggestions to help people reduce their screentime.

The ClearSpace app

ClearSpace forces you to take a breathing delay before using a distracting app. It also asks you to set a time limit and allows you to set a number of visits to the site per day. If you eclipse the number of visits, it sends a text to a friend saying you exceeded your budget. This can help people be accountable for one another’s screentime goals.

Don’t sleep with your phone

Ambrosi says to charge your phone far away from your bedside stand when you sleep and use an alarm clock to wake up. If you do have an alarm clock on your phone, set up an automation so that as soon as you turn off the alarm, it opens up an app like Flora or Forest and starts an hour-long timer that incentivizes you to be off your phone for the first hour of the day.

“In my experience, if you can stay off screens for the last hour and the first hour of the day, the other 22 hours get a lot easier because you get the quality rest and sleep that you need to wake up fully charged, and now you're more capable of being intentional because you are at your best," Ambrosi told Upworty.

Keep apps in one place

Ambrosi says to keep all of your social apps and logins on one device. “I try to designate a specific use for each device as much as possible,” he told Upworthy. “I try to keep all my social media time and all my entertainment on my phone as opposed to my computer because I want my computer to be a tool for work.”

Even though there are significant challenges ahead for young people as they try to navigate a screen-based world while keeping them at a healthy distance, Ambrosi is optimistic about the future.

“I'm really optimistic because I have seen in the last year, in particular, that the receptiveness of student audiences has increased by almost an order of magnitude. Kids are waking up to the fact that this is the problem. They want to have this conversation,” he told Upworthy. “Some clubs are starting to address this problem at several schools right now; from the talks I've given this semester alone, kids want to be involved in this conversation. They're creating phone-free spaces on college and high school campuses by their own accord. I just think we have a huge potential to leverage this moment to move things in the right direction.”

For more information on Ambrosi’s programs, visit ProjectReboot.School.

Katie Gerrard/Unsplash & NuevoJerz/Reddit

When Chris Palermo's 7-year-old daughter, Ella, said she wanted to show him something, he was expecting another painting, or a piece of writing, or something that she had built. He never expected a lengthy – and thorough — To-Do list!

However, a To-Do list is exactly what he got. Ella had created a detailed table in the Notes app to keep track of all the things she hoped to accomplish. Chris posted a photo of the list to Reddit, where it was an instant hit, brightening the days of thousands and thousands of users.


Most of us keep a To-Do list of some kind, or a running list of chores and tasks we need to accomplish.

I have one of my own just like Ella's, sitting in my Notes app right now. For the record, Ella's is way better.

I've got lists of bills to pay and administrative phone calls to make, things to fix around the house, and upcoming appointments to keep.

Ella's got dancing and blowing bubbles.

NuevoJerz/Reddit

But it's not all fun and games for this 7-year-old: The list also includes chores like cleaning up, eating dinner (always important), and reminders to 'learn something.'

However, the list is mostly fun and games.

And that's exactly the way it should be.

It's important to Ella that she never forget to:

  • Sing
  • Dance
  • Play with dolls
  • Dance again
  • Take a video of herself dancing
  • Take a video of herself dancing again!
  • And do some writing

Now if she could only get around to painting that darn cupcake!

(How relatable is it that even Ella struggles to check off everything on her list? She even included 'Check Box' as the first item to give herself a little momentum to get through all her tasks!)

Chris never expected the list to go viral. He just hopes people can learn something from it.

Being an adult can be mind-numbingly boring.

Our routines get stagnant, and our lists of responsibilities and Have-To-Dos get longer and longer every year. It's easy to forget to make time for things that have no productive value, things that we only do because we enjoy them.

And not just big things like planning your next vacation or meeting up with friends — although those are great, too.

"I hope [the list] gives us adults a pause and makes us think about our own to-do lists and responsibilities and the importance of having those joy-filled activities in there, too," Chris told Newsweek.

Ella's incredible list reminds us that we should be seeking out moments of joy every single day. Whether it's watching the clouds roll by, dancing in the kitchen, or learning something new just for fun.

And despite what you've been told, you're never too old to blow bubbles.

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this:

"Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting."

Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures.

TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.



Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.

People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

Divorce lawyer cries recalling case he shouldn't have won

People either love lawyers or hate them but one thing will always be true, if you find yourself in need of legal assistance, you hope to have a lawyer on your side. But no matter your personal beliefs about lawyers, they're not all out to get unsuspecting people. Many lawyers get into the profession to help people in need and are empathetic to the misfortune of others.

James Sexton is a divorce lawyer that recently sat down with Steven Bartlett on his podcast "The Diary of a CEO" to discuss what he's seen in his work. Things took an emotional turn when Sexton opens up about a case that still haunts him because according to the attorney, he shouldn't have won the case. The clip that shows Sexton becoming overcome with emotion is a small glimpse into the nearly three hour episode about the breakdown of marriages.


In this clip posted to TikTok, Sexton shares about his former client who was a pimp at the time that had been violently abusive to the mother of his children. The woman took the man to court with photographic evidence of the abuse she sustained at the hands of his client. It was seemingly a quick case that should've ended in a victory for the mother who experienced the abuse but that turned out to be wishful thinking.

All Rise Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

Sexton explains, "there was a case that I won that I should've lost. I represented a pimp, that's what he did for a living. He's in prison for a long, long time now, but at the time he had very brutally abused a woman who he had kids with and the lawyer on the other side of the case, the lawyer who represented his co-parent, his victim if you will, was very inexperienced and a judge who was very impatient."

This quickly amounts to a disappointing situation where the judge was being unhelpful to the inexperienced attorney and Sexton is left watching helplessly as the green prosecutor struggles with basic court proceedings. Since Sexton was representing the defendant, he couldn't step in to offer assistance to the prosecutor who was fumbling a case in real time.

Judge Judy GIFGiphy

"The key piece of evidence they had was a photograph of this woman's face after my client had allegedly beat her up quite badly. And getting a photograph entered into evidence is very easy but it requires a very specific phrasing," he says before sharing the exact process. "For whatever reason, probably lack of experience, opposing counsel I guess didn't know how to get a photograph into evidence. Now normally in that situation a judge will be helpful but this judge was just not in the mood."

Because the opposing lawyer doesn't seem to understand the process to submit evidence, she never properly enters the photograph requiring Sexton to object to the questioning attempted. The divorce lawyer begins to choke up when recalling how flustered the inexperienced opposing counsel was becoming.

Season 13 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"I remember looking at the judge and thinking like, 'you're letting this happen. You're letting this happen, don't let this happen.," Sexton says as his voice shakes. "She's poor. She's poor, that's why she's gonna lose. She's gonna lose because she's poor and she can't afford a lawyer and he's going to win because he can afford a lawyer that knows how to put a document into evidence and there's something really wrong about that."

People were moved by the lawyers vulnerability in sharing his emotions around watching an injustice unfold as others share their frustration with how the system works.


@steven Top divorce lawyer James Sexton opens up about the saddest case that he’s ever worked on 😭 #podcast #podcastclip #clips #sad #emotional #emotion #law #attorney #crying #cry #teamwork #marriage #america #usa #diaryofaceo ♬ original sound - Steven Bartlett

"In a weird way, it makes me very happy that he’s very emotional about this. Takes a great amount of empathy to put your work aside and recognize her position," someone writes.

"The way that the opposite lawyer shows more empathy then a judge is actually the worst thing that could happen to you in court," another person laments.

"It had to have taken an immense amount of bravery for this woman to even show up to court and go up against her abuser. the fact that the odds were stacked up against her like this.. heartbreaking," one commenter shares.

Episode 2 Judge GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"Using the right combination of words should never be a reason concrete evidence can’t be submitted. That’s insane," another chimes in.

Being a lawyer isn't always easy and sometimes good lawyers wind up representing terrible people while being bound by ethics to do their job to the best of their abilities. It's telling that this case still haunts Sexton and while his client won in court that day with the case against him being dismissed, it may be of some consolation to woman involved that he is now behind bars.

TikTok creator educates himself on female anatomy.

It’s no secret that some people born without female anatomy may be a bit unfamiliar with what goes into having a uterus. Sometimes eyes are rolled about the uninformed, but when someone goes out of their way to educate themselves so they can be a better partner in the future, it's definitely worth celebrating. TikTok creator Darius Covington seeks out information that is otherwise kept to the owners of uteruses and he does it in the most respectful and genuine way. It’s honestly quite refreshing.

Covington asks his followers (which are mostly women) things he should learn about the female experience. His followers do not disappoint. He’s gotten requests about researching a speculum to the correct way to insert an IUD. Covington has searched it all and even tried drinking from a menstrual cup that he blindly picked up at the store. His reaction to reading the directions after placing the cup to his lips will have you in stitches.


@thedariuscovington

#answer to @spidermark790 Just a self reminder as I complain about my allergies 😭😭😂 #fyp #foryoupage #funny #fail #failarmy #trending #relabtable

The best part about Covington’s videos is how dedicated he is to getting the information correct and making sure to acknowledge his commenters' requests and explanations. When learning about the process a body goes through to give birth, he bewilderingly looks at the camera and says, “You choose to go through this process more than once, sometimes more than twice.” It's the honest reactions and genuine curiosity that keep people coming back.

@thedariuscovington

TikTok · Darius Covington


While the brave creator is not even close to having children of his own, it’s clear he is training to be a good father to daughters and a good partner to his future wife. Keep educating yourself Darius! We love to see it.