Why the Mothers of the Movement's DNC speech brought us to tears.
Too many mothers have had to bury too many children due to gun violence. These moms are trying to change that.
611.
That's how many people have been killed by police in 2016.
300.
That's the number of homicides that occurred in Chicago by Father's Day 2016.
In America, our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, children, and friends are dying from gun and police violence at a staggering rate.
During the Democratic National Convention, several mothers whose children have been victims of gun violence made it clear that enough is enough.
The Mothers of the Movement are like most moms: hard-working, caring parents who never dreamed they would lose a child. But their stories are also unique and incredibly important.
The Mothers of the Movement are moms who have lost children to police brutality and gun violence. They have come together to unite against gun violence in the U.S.
Tonight, their emotional stories helped illustrate how far we have still to go in this country.
The Mothers of the Movement led their DNC segment with a tear-jerking speech by Geneva Reed-Veal, Sandra Bland's mother.
She talked about how gun violence and the lack of gun control in the U.S. have torn apart her life and the lives of the other mothers in the group.
"This isn’t about being politically correct. This is about saving our children," Sybrina Fulton said to rousing applause.
Who exactly are the Mothers of the Movement?
Meet Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin's mom.
Photos by The Young Turks/YouTube (left), Aaron Davidson/Getty Images for Jazz in the Gardens (right).
Trayvon Martin, 17, was a high-schooler walking home with a can of tea and a packet of Skittles when George Zimmerman shot him. Zimmerman was acquitted of second-degree murder in 2013. He auctioned the gun used to kill Martin for $250,000.
During the DNC, Fulton explained why she decided to share her story and join the Mothers of the Movement group.
"I am an unwilling participant in this movement," she said. "I would not have signed up for this, nor any other mother that is standing here today. But I am here today for my son, Trayvon Martin, who is in heaven, but also for his brother, Jahvaris Fulton, who is still here on Earth. I did not want this spotlight, but I will do everything I can to focus some of this light on the pain of a path out of the darkness."
Meet Lucia McBath, mother of Jordan Davis.
Photos by The New York Times/YouTube (left), Paras Griffin/Getty Images for 2016 Essence Festival (right).
Jordan Davis, 17, was a teenager sitting in a car with friends when he was shot by Michael Dunn, who was upset that their music was too loud. Dunn was found guilty of first-degree murder and given a life sentence without parole.
During the DNC, McBath said she doesn't want other parents to live in fear of what happened to her son. "I lived in fear that my son would die like this," she said. "I even warned him that because he was a young black man, he would meet people who didn't value him or his life. That is a conversation that no parent should ever have with their child."
Meet Geneva Reed-Veal, mother of Sandra Bland.
Photos by CDF/YouTube (left), Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images (right).
Sandra Bland, 28, was an outspoken activist with a degree in agriculture from Prairie View A&M University. Bland was arrested during what should have been a routine traffic stop. Three days later, she was found hanged to death in her cell at the Waller County Jail.
Bland's death was ruled a suicide, but many have noted the brutal arrest preceding Bland's death by state trooper Brian Encinia and the edited dashcam footage that was released. Encinia has been indicted for perjury, and thus dismissed by the Texas Department of Public Safety.
"When a young black life is cut short, it’s not just a loss," Reed-Veal said at the DNC. "It’s a personal loss. It’s a national loss. It’s a loss that diminishes all of us."
Several other Mothers of the Movement did not speak at the DNC, but they stood on stage to support the three who did.
Meet Maria Hamilton, mother of Dontré Hamilton.
Photos by Mashable/YouTube (left), Mark Makela/Getty Images (right).
Dontré Hamilton, 31, was a son and uncle. He was unarmed and had been treated for paranoid schizophrenia. Officer Christopher Manney shot Hamilton multiple times. Manney was never charged and was eventually fired from the Milwaukee Police Department.
Meet Gwen Carr, Eric Garner's mother.
Photos by The Young Turks/YouTube (left), Spencer Platt/Getty Images (right).
Eric, a son and beloved father, was confronted by police for selling loose cigarettes in Staten Island, New York. Several police officers surrounded Garner. Officer Daniel Pantaleo used a banned chokehold to restrain Garner, who yelled "I can't breathe" multiple times in an effort to plea with officers. Unfortunately, it was to no avail, and the chokehold ultimately killed him.
A Richmond County grand jury decided not to indict Pantaleo in 2014.
Meet Lezley McSpadden, mother of Michael Brown.
Photos by AMTV/YouTube (left), Michael B. Thomas/Getty Images (right).
Michael Brown, 18, had just graduated and had plans to go to college. Officer Darren Wilson shot the unarmed Brown several times after, witnesses said, Brown held up his hands in submission. The U.S. Department of Justice cleared him of any wrongdoing and cleared him of violating any of Brown's rights.
Meet Cleopatra Pendleton-Cowley, mother of Hadiya Pendleton.
Photos by OutLaw4/YouTube (left) Scott Olson/Getty Images (right).
Hadiya Pendleton, 15, had just performed with her school at events for President Obama's second inauguration when she was caught in the crossfire of a gang-related shooting in Chicago. Michael Ward, 18, and Kenneth Williams, 20, were arrested on several charges, including attempted murder and first-degree murder. They said the bullets were intended for a rival gang, not Pendleton.
Meet Annette Nance-Holt, mother of Blair Holt.
Photos by Joseph Latimore/YouTube (left), Scott Olson/Getty Images (right).
Blair Holt, 16, was killed trying to protect a friend on a Chicago bus. Four other teens were injured in the gang-related shooting. Holt was an honor student and beloved classmate and son. His killer, Michael Pace, was sentenced to 100 years in prison.
Meet Wanda Johnson, mother of Oscar Grant.
Photos by The Young Turks/YouTube (left), SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images (right).
Oscar Grant, 22, was unarmed when he was shot and killed by BART police officer Johannes Mehserle in Oakland, California. Grant was beloved in his community and was coming home after ringing in the new year with friends when he was killed in 2009. His brutal killing was captured on camera and was portrayed in the award-winning film “Fruitvale Station.” Mehserle was convicted of second-degree murder but got an early release from prison just a year into his sentence.
These mothers' words were captivating, emotional, and heartbreaking.
They shouldn't have to speak like this, but they did. And they spoke to remind us, through their words, that we have the power to change this. In November, we can use our right to vote to demand action and reject complacency.
"So many of our children are gone, but they are not forgotten," Reed-Veal, Sandra Bland's mother, said. "Sandy cannot speak, but I am here to speak for her. What a blessing to be here tonight so that Sandy can still speak through her mama. And what a blessing for us that we have the opportunity to cast our vote."
"We're going to keep telling our stories, and we're urging you to say their names," said McBath.
By saying their names, we can honor the voices of those who can no longer speak, just like the Mothers of the Movement. But beyond that, we can also help shape a future that no longer requires this discussion.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.