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Family

15 people reveal the real reasons why they don’t plan on having children

Nobody should judge another person's reproductive choices.

child-free, reasons for kids, dinks

A woman isn't into the idea of having kids.

A growing number of adults in the United States say that they aren’t interested in having children. A 2021 study by Pew Research found that 44% of nonparents aged 18 to 49 say that it is “not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday.” That’s a 7% increase over the 37% who said the same in 2018.

Fifty-six percent of those say they simply don’t want to have children, and the 46% who chose “some other reason” cited medical reasons, their financial situation, lack of a partner, age and state of the world as the biggest reasons they aren’t likely to have kids in the future.

A Reddit user by the name of ilovenosycats asked the online forum, “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?” and received a lot of revealing answers. Over 1,700 people responded to the question, and some of the most popular reasons contradict the idea that those who don’t want to have kids are being selfish.


Many who replied to the thread said they don’t want to have children because they don’t think they’d be good parents. Others are dealing with childhood trauma and have no interest in passing it on to their kids. Some are concerned about the condition of the world and don’t think it’s right to bring a child into such a challenging place.

Some enjoy having fewer responsibilities and a couple of extra dollars in their pockets. And who can blame them?

While it’s good to understand those who want to remain child-free, people’s reproductive choices are no one else’s business. There are many great reasons to have kids or be child-free. So, it’s probably best to celebrate each other’s differences when it comes to such a big decision.

Plus, no one should have children unless they really want them.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?”

1.

"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that." — SignificantFunny1523

Usedcellist1 added:

"This is my reason. Waiting for that 'badly enough"'to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current 'baby wave'), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily."

2.

"Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children." — DamnIGottaJustSay

3.

"This curse ends with me." — DavetheRoper

4.

"Don’t have the patience for kids." — Leoimirmir

5.

"I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason." — AllyriaCelene

6.

"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid." — Typical_Conclusion_5

7.

"Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics." — LoonaticLaskdorp

8.

"I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are." — SnooWords4513

9.

"I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.

I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.

Overall, I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self-expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way." — TheSoundofStyrofoam

10.

"Bringing someone into this world is cruel." — dziwolonk

11.

"I can barely look after myself let alone a kid." — Rude_Act_6276

12.

"Isn't 8 Billion People enough?" — Georgiculus

13.

"Responsibility is one of the things I hate most in my life. I want peace of mind. I don't want to deal with a creature that I have to take care of everything. Besides, this world isn't a good place anyway, if I had a child I wouldn't be able to live my own life trying to give him a good life. That's why I don't have children." — Corvuseums

14.

"Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)" — probably_a_possum

15.

"I can’t impregnate myself." — Nirvana_bob7

Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As the audience cheered, Seacrest playfully circled Demus-Gamble, as though searching for an earpiece that must have fed her the winning guess. Down in the comments, people were equally floored.

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

Author, researcher, and storyteller Brené Brown.

One of the most challenging things about dealing with grief is the feeling that it will never end. After losing a loved one or at the end of a relationship, we feel that something is missing in our lives and fear that hole could remain forever.

This feeling of sorrow can linger for months while we cycle through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

In extreme cases, people may be diagnosed with prolonged grief disorder in which they have intense feelings of grief that last all day and go on for many months. People with prolonged grief disorder may also have trouble in their personal, educational or work lives.

Psychological researcher Brené Brown shared her thoughts on the grieving process on TODAY with Hoda & Jenna in 2022 and they may be of comfort to anyone dealing with loss. Brown is known in particular for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership, and gained worldwide attention for her 2010 TEDx talk, "The Power of Vulnerability."

“How long does true grief last in the heart?” a fan asked Brown.

“As long as it takes,” Brown replied. “We live in a culture where people need us to move through our grief for the sake of their own comfort and grief does not have a timeline. It takes as long as it takes.

"And the best thing that we can do when we’re trying to support someone in grief is—my favorite question when I’ve got someone close to me who’s really grieving a lot is to say, ‘What does love look like right now? What does support look like right now?’” she said. “And sometimes they’ll hear, ‘You know what, can you run my carpool for me on Wednesday? Can I cuss and scream at you on the phone twice a week?’”

Brown said that she loved the question because “I don’t have the answer because not having the answer is the answer. It takes as long as it takes.”

How can people best comfort those who are grieving? Brown believes it’s all about being compassionate by understanding that all people have the ability to feel prolonged pain.

“There’s a definition of compassion in Atlas of the Heart, from Pema Chödrön, the American Buddhist nun, that says, ‘Compassion is not a relationship between the wounded and the healed. It’s a relationship between equals.’ It’s knowing your darkness well enough that you can sit in the dark with others,” Brown said.

The grieving process is complicated and not everyone goes through the steps in the same order. After a long period of feeling better, some may also experience reawakened grief in which the pain crops up again.

The powerful point Brown makes is that people shouldn’t feel pressured to get over a significant loss in their life and that if the process may be taking longer than expected, they're still OK. In fact, avoiding grief may only make things worse.

If you are experiencing grief and feel it’s getting worse over time or interferes with your ability to function, consult a mental health provider.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Education

Unearthed BBC interview features two Victorian-era women discussing being teens in the 1800s

Frances 'Effy' Jones, one of the first women to be trained to use a typewriter and to take up cycling as a hobby, recalls life as a young working woman in London.

Two Victorian women discuss being teens in the 1800s.

There remains some mystery around what life was like in the 1800s, especially for teens. As time marches on, we're moving further and further away from the Victorian era and what life was like for the people living through it. Thankfully, though, relics have survived that are not just historical treasures, but connections our human family now since passed. In this rediscovered 1970s clip from the BBC, two elderly women reminisce about what it was like being teenagers during a time when the horse and buggy was still the fastest way to get around.

While cars were just around the corner from being the common mode of transportation toward the end of the 19th century, it's pretty wild to imagine what these women experienced. Frances "Effy" Jones explained how, at age 17, she was encouraged by her brother to check out this new machine in a storefront window. Turns out that machine was a typewriter and, after being trained on how to use it, Jones would sit in the store window typing while people outside gathered to watch. Before long, classes began popping up for women to learn how to use a typewriter, starting a new movement for women of that era.

The second woman, Berta Ruck, told the BBC that she would get into a bit of trouble at boarding school for drawing instead of completing school work. This talent took Ruck to art school in London where she rode buses around town, attempting to avoid mud getting on her long skirt. But Ruck explained that it never worked and she would spend hours brushing the mud from her skirt before wearing it out again. I'm sure you're thinking, buses? They weren't the buses we would see nowadays. These were double-decker horse-pulled carriages. It may be hard to imagine, but life was just as vibrant and bustling then as it is now. Check out the video below to learn more:


This article originally appeared three years ago.

via Pexels

Apple watch notifications saved this Maine woman's life.

In 2022 Kim Durkee, then 67, of Solon, Maine, told Today that she purchased an Apple watch two years ago to count her steps and to get help if she fell. But she ended up getting a lot more than that out of her watch. In fact, it wound up saving her life.

In May 2022, Durkee got an alert from her watch in the middle of the night that said she appeared to have an abnormal heart rhythm and suggested atrial fibrillation. "The message basically said something to the effect of, 'You are in a resting state but we noticed AFib,'" Durkee told News Center Maine.

The Mayo Clinic describes atrial fibrillation as an “irregular and often very rapid heart rhythm (arrhythmia) that can lead to blood clots in the heart.” It increases the risk of stroke, heart failure, and other heart-related complications.

Durkee ignored the warning because she felt fine. “I didn’t have one single hint that there was something wrong in my body, not one,” Durkee told Today. But her Apple watch went on to wake her up three nights in a row from midnight to 4 a.m. So, she decided to go into the emergency room in early June.

Apple watches can be useful for monitoring one’s health but they shouldn’t be seen as a replacement for a regular checkup with a doctor. However, they are able to monitor the heart for irregularities and if they find an irregular rhythm five out of six times within 48 hours, users are sent an irregular rhythm notification.

As of 2025, however, a recent class action lawsuit filed against Apple has raised concerns about some Apple Watch wristbands, claiming they contain and expose wearers to harmful "forever chemicals" or PFAs. According to CNET, the lawsuit was filed in the United States District Court of Northern California about the Sport Band, Ocean Band, and Nike Sport Band containing harmful levels of PFAs and claims Apple was aware. Apple has denied these claims, however, and insists Apple Watches are safe to wear. In Durkee's case, it saved her life.

A 2020 study found that 34% of individuals who received a notification of arrhythmia were later found to have atrial fibrillation.

She told the doctor on duty that her Apple watch said she has AFib and he was a little skeptical. How could a watch replace the expertise of a heart specialist? “He looked at me, like, ‘Really, your watch told you you have AFib?’ Everybody in the hospital was amazed. I was like the talk of the hospital,” she said.

“He did some tests and he said, ‘Your watch is right, you’re in AFib,’” she added.

After an echocardiogram, the doctors also discovered that she had a myxoma tumor in her heart. These noncancerous tumors are rare, but they grow very rapidly. If the watch hadn’t notified her of her heart irregularity she could have been in real trouble.

On June 27, 2022, she underwent a five-hour open heart surgery and has since made a full recovery.

"I asked Dr. Osho in Boston who did the surgery and I also asked my doctor up here when I went for a check-up ... They both said the same thing, [that] I probably would've had a massive stroke, and they would've just said she died and they never would've known I had the myxoma," Durkee told News Center Maine.

"So, I'm very grateful to be alive. So, without that watch, I might not be having this conversation with you right now,” she told WCVB.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

A man and woman enjoying a nice night out.

Lindsay, a TikTok user named @CuteasCluck, recently found herself in a real conundrum while on a date at a restaurant. She was on her third date with a man she had previously met on Facetime and then went to dinner with. Now, while enjoying drinks after watching a sporting event, things were getting a little serious.

When Lindsay got up to go to the bathroom, she was approached by 2 women in their early 20s sitting directly behind her at the restaurant, who had got a good look at her date. “My hair was behind my back most of the time," Lindsay said. "So she like grabs my hair and is like, ‘oh my God. Your hair is so pretty, you’re so beautiful, I just had to stop you.'" While the woman was complimenting her, she handed her a crudely folded-up note. “‘I just wanted to give you this,’” the woman said.

WARNING: Video containsstrong language.

@cuteascluck

Overthinkers Anonymous member

Lindsay partially opened the note, and it read, “Just no!” A few words were scribbled beside it that she didn't have time to read before her date noticed. When she got to the bathroom, she read the remaining part of the note, which said, “You can do better.” When she returned to the table, her date asked her about the letter, and she brushed it off. But she couldn’t focus for the rest of the date because the note raised many questions.

Did he do something when I went off to the bathroom? Do they know him from around town? Could it be his age? She wondered to himself.

She asked her followers on TikTok for advice, and many made the same point: When a woman hands another woman a note at a bar, take it seriously. “We don’t pass notes unless we are warning you,” one of the top commenters wrote. “Any girl giving me a note secretly on a date, I’m gonna believe the girl. She felt compelled enough to get involved which means it’s something,” another added. “Gir,l it means no. It also means the details were probably going to heavily offend you,” another wrote.

In a follow-up video, Lindsay said that after dinner, she received a series of drunken texts from her date that sounded like a sales pitch, saying things like: "I think we're going to be together, facts are facts," and "Any girl that is going to miss out on me, she's going to miss out. She needs to jump on this right now," and called her "jaded." The next day, he apologized and noted that he didn't know the girl who passed the note but said, "She must somehow know my ex or something."

@cuteascluck

Replying to @~♡MimiJulee♡~ #greenscreen I asked him about the note😱😱

The commenters on the video thought the red flags were now piling up. “Sales pitchy drunk texts after date two are reason enough for you to run and not look back,” a commenter wrote. “Too many red flags this soon,” another added.

In the final video of the series — unless the women who handed the note come forward — Lindsay says that she ended things with the man she was dating after receiving the drunk texts. Coupled with the warning on the note, it was enough for her to believe the guy was bad news. Ultimately, although Linday may never know why the woman gave her the note, it served a very important purpose: her date’s reaction to it exposed him as being unhinged and agressive. It's terrific that Lindsay could realize this before things got too serious.

@cuteascluck

Friendly reminder to those who know I’m a rambler, 2x speed 💁🏻‍♀️🥰