US Embassy officially responds to 'salt in tea' controversy by trolling the Brits even more
It's been 250 years since the Boston Tea Party, yet we're still sticking it to our tea-loving friends across the pond.
The U.S. Embassy put out a press release addressing the tea controversy threatening our "Special Relationship" with the U.K.
If there's one thing British culture is universally known for, it's tea. And if there's one thing Americans are known for in Britain, it's mucking up tea.
Admittedly, Americans' relationship with the U.K. and its tea is a bit…complicated. After all, it was Britain's taxation of imported tea that served as both a symbol and catalyst for the Revolutionary War, made famous by the so-called Boston Tea Party in 1773. (For those not steeped in American history, colonists famously dumped tea from British ship in Boston Harbor overnight in protest over being taxed without representation. They also tried to pin it on Native Americans, dressing as Mohawk Indians to disguise their identities, but that's another story for another time.)
Our complicated tea relationship just took an unexpected turn, as an American scientist dared to suggest that the secret to a perfect cup of tea is to add a bit of salt to it, which naturally caused the entire United Kingdom to lose its everlovin' mind.
Michelle Francl, a chemistry professor at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, argues in her book, "Steeped: The Chemistry of Tea," that sodium in salt can counteract the chemical process that causes tea to taste bitter, to which the British say, "Rubbish! Poppycock!"
“A scientist from the country where you can find tea being made with lukewarm water from the tap claims to have found the recipe for a perfect cuppa,” British newspaper The Guardian quipped.
The Brits take their tea-making seriously, using a kettle to heat the water to just the right temperature and steeping their tea for a set amount of time, while Americans dare to pop a mug of water in the microwave and haphazardly leave their tea bag for however long they feel like. (It's kind of a perfect example of ingrained American rebellion against monarchical tradition, really.)
Folks at the U.S. Embassy in the U.K. recognized that salt-in-tea controversy had landed the nation in some hot water, so they issued an official response. And naturally, it includes some lighthearted trolling of our friends across the pond.
"An important statement on the latest tea controversy," the Embassy wrote on X, with an image of an official United States Embassy Press Release.
It begins by explaining that media reports of an American professor's "perfect" cup of tea recipe "has landed our special bond with the United Kingdom in hot water."
"Tea is the elixir of camaraderie," it continues, "a sacred bond that unites our nations. We cannot stand idly by as such an outrageous proposal threatens the very foundation of our Special Relationship."
Ohhh, somebody at the Embassy had their cookies today.
"Therefore we want to ensure the good people of the UK that the unthinkable notion of adding salt to Britain's national drink is not official United States policy. And never will be," reassured the Embassy. "Let us unite in our steeped solidarity and show the world that when it comes to tea, we stand as one."
A perfectly diplomatic response, followed by the ultimate American tea troll:
"The U.S. Embassy will continue to make tea in the proper way—by microwaving it."
Oh yes, they did.
Now, some may lament that an official government agency would have the time to troll an entire country over a cup of tea, but it's not like the U.S. Embassy in the U.K. is on a complex diplomatic mission. Our countries have been close friends and allies for a long time, despite our fight for independence in the 18th century, so a little friendly banter is just what we should expect.
For their part, the U.K. government officially responded with a quintessentially understated retort.
"We appreciate our Special Relationship, however, we must disagree wholeheartedly… Tea can only be made using a kettle."
The U.K. Defence Journal offered a bit stronger of a reaction, writing, "The United Kingdom will be declaring war on the United States."
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An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
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Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.