+
Family

This guy’s disturbing group chat shows how easy it is for men to dismiss rape.

Four times, Brian typed out an honest response to send to his guy friends in their group text message. But he didn't share a single one of them. All four times, Brian — the fictional main character in a new PSA from the It's On Us campaign — caved before hitting send.

Brian's friends' convo began like many do after a night out drinking: reminiscing about what happened hours earlier.

"Morning," Dave began. "Everyone still with us?"

"Not sure Mike's girl is," Ed replied.

"Lol," Mike piped in. "Drunkest. Sex. Ever."  




Brian decided to be frank. "Dude," he typed. "Hooking up with that girl was messed up." But then he thought twice, and deleted it. Instead, he typed out, "That was sexual assault or whatever."

He deleted that message too.

GIF via It's On Us/YouTube.

The disturbing conversation continued.

A pic was shared mocking one of the women Brian's friend slept with.

"Chick was trashed," Dave remarked.

"Ugh," Brian wrote, increasingly frustrated. "You guys are part of the problem." Again, he decided against sending it. He sent nothing instead.

"Who even was that?" Ed replied a moment later.

"That's the girl you raped," Brian wrote candidly — before deleting it again.

GIF via It's On Us/YouTube.

After all that, Brian went with a grimacing face emoji. The group laughed off the emoji, and quickly moved on to breakfast plans — as if the rapes never even happened.

It's scary to think Brian's friends dismissed the fact that Ed and Mike had assaulted women the night before. It's even scarier to think how often a conversation like that actually happens.

Maybe Dave and Carl were sitting alone debating if they should say something about the assaults too, like Brian had been doing. But neither of them did. Through their choice to stay quiet, every bystander encouraged the behavior.  

But, research shows friends actually can make a big difference when they speak up about sexual assault. In 2014, NPR reported that evidence suggests a man is more likely to commit acts of sexual violence when he has friends who dismiss (or even encourage) it. The opposite is also true.

Peer pressure — for better or worse — makes a big difference.

"One of the things that matters most to boys and emerging adult men is the opinion of other men," John Foubert, a researcher at Oklahoma State University, explained to NPR.

That's an important distinction between other botched, victim-blaming efforts to curb sexual violence and the It's On Us campaign.

As its name suggests, It's On Us focuses on men.

We shouldn't be telling women to avoid short skirts and liquor in order to not get raped. We should be telling men and boys not to be rapists.

"Guys, if you know someone who's had sex with a girl who didn't or couldn't consent, it's on you to confront him," former Vice President Joe Biden, a leading voice of the campaign, said in the PSA's closing. "Fear is no excuse. You can help put an end to sexual assault."

Watch the PSA by It's On Us below:

Finally, someone explains why we all need subtitles

It seems everyone needs subtitles nowadays in order to "hear" the television. This is something that has become more common over the past decade and it's caused people to question if their hearing is going bad or if perhaps actors have gotten lazy with enunciation.

So if you've been wondering if it's just you who needs subtitles in order to watch the latest marathon-worthy show, worry no more. Vox video producer Edward Vega interviewed dialogue editor Austin Olivia Kendrick to get to the bottom of why we can't seem to make out what the actors are saying anymore. It turns out it's technology's fault, and to get to how we got here, Vega and Kendrick took us back in time.

They first explained that way back when movies were first moving from silent film to spoken dialogue, actors had to enunciate and project loudly while speaking directly into a large microphone. If they spoke and moved like actors do today, it would sound almost as if someone were giving a drive-by soliloquy while circling the block. You'd only hear every other sentence or two.

Keep ReadingShow less

Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson in 2006.

A startling number of professional athletes face financial hardships after they retire. The big reason is that even though they make a lot of money, the average sports career is relatively short: 3.3 years in the NFL; 4.6 years in the NBA; and 5.6 years in MLB. During that time, athletes often dole out money to friends and family members who helped them along the way and can fall victim to living lavish, unsustainable lifestyles.

After the athlete retires they are likely to earn a lot less money, and if they don’t adjust their spending, they’re in for some serious trouble.

In a candid interview with NFL Hall of Famer and TV personality Shannon Sharpe, Chad Ochocinco (legally Chad Johnson) revealed that he saved 80 to 83% of the $48 million he made in the NFL by faking his lavish lifestyle because it made no sense to him.

Keep ReadingShow less
Nature

Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave that’s been closed for 70 years

You can only access the cave from the basement of the home and it’s open for business.

This Pennsylvania home is the entrance to a cave.

Have you ever seen something in a movie or online and thought, "That's totally fake," only to find out it's absolutely a real thing? That's sort of how this house in Pennsylvania comes across. It just seems too fantastical to be real, and yet somehow it actually exists.

The home sits between Greencastle and Mercersburg, Pennsylvania, and houses a pretty unique public secret. There's a cave in the basement. Not a man cave or a basement that makes you feel like you're in a cave, but an actual cave that you can't get to unless you go through the house.

Turns out the cave was discovered in the 1830s on the land of John Coffey, according to Uncovering PA, but the story of how it was found is unclear. People would climb down into the cave to explore occasionally until the land was leased about 100 years later and a small structure was built over the cave opening.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

American mom living in Germany lists postpartum support and women are gobsmacked

“Every video you make gets me closer to actually moving to Germany.”

U.S. mom living in Germany shares postpartum support she received.

Having a baby is not an easy feat no matter which way they come out. The pregnant person is either laboring for hours and then pushing for what feels like even more hours, or they're getting cut from hip to hip to bring about their bundle of joy. (Unless you're one of those lucky—or rather not-so-lucky—folks who get to labor for hours only to still end up in surgery.)

Giving birth is hard and healing afterward can feel dang near impossible, especially given that most states in the U.S. only offer six weeks of maternity leave and it's typically unpaid. But did you know that not everyone has that experience?

A mom who had her first child in the U.S. before meeting her current husband and relocating to Germany is shedding light on postpartum care in her new country. The stark contrast is beyond shocking to women living in the U.S. and she's got a few considering crossing the ocean for a better quality of life.

Keep ReadingShow less

Meghan Elinor chimes in on the Starbucks tipping debate.

Tipping culture is rapidly changing in America, so understandably a lot of people aren’t sure what to do when they buy a coffee and the debit card reader asks for a tip. It used to be that people only tipped bartenders, drivers, servers and hairdressers.

Now people are being asked to tip just about any time they encounter a point-of-sale system. There is a big difference between tipping a server who lugged around hot plates of food for an hour-long meal and someone who simply handed you an ice cream cone.

"We're living in an era of inflation, but on top of that, we've got tipping everywhere—tipflation. I take it a step further and call it a tipping invasion. Because that's really what I think it is," etiquette expert Thomas Farley (aka Mister Manners) told CBS 8.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

One moment in history shot Tracy Chapman to music stardom. Watch it now.

She captivated millions with nothing but her guitar and an iconic voice.

Imagine being in the crowd and hearing "Fast Car" for the first time

While a catchy hook might make a song go viral, very few songs create such a unifying impact that they achieve timeless resonance. Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” is one of those songs.

So much courage and raw honesty is packed into the lyrics, only to be elevated by Chapman’s signature androgynous and soulful voice. Imagine being in the crowd and seeing her as a relatively unknown talent and hearing that song for the first time. Would you instantly recognize that you were witnessing a pivotal moment in musical history?

For concert goers at Wembley Stadium in the late 80s, this was the scenario.

Keep ReadingShow less