March 28, 2017, was a big day for small white men with too much power.
(Then again, when is it not?)
Instead of listening or responding to her points, Bill O'Reilly stopped in to "Fox and Friends" to make a racist joke about Rep. Maxine Waters' hair. Barely hours later, Sean Spicer told respected White House correspondent April Ryan not to shake her head during a press briefing.
It's infuriating. And as a black woman, I know men (and women) like O'Reilly and Spicer are not anomalies.
We are constantly told what to wear, how to style our hair, to soften our voices, and how to behave by people who have no right to make those decisions.
But it's never about the hair or the facial expressions. It's the need to control, denigrate, and dismiss black women.
If we don't fit into their idea of blackness or womanhood, then we're described as "difficult," "a poor fit," or the old standby "angry." That makes it a lot easier to fire us, keep us from getting promoted or paid fairly, or not hire us in the first place. Score one for white supremacy.
Photo (cropped) by WOCInTech Chat/Flickr.
Time and time again, we've reminded the powers that be that we are not here for their bullshit.
What Waters and Ryan experienced was an all too common occurrence. Like many black women, educator and activist Brittany Packnett had had enough.
"I felt like, 'You are not going to come for these respected, important, committed black women,'" Packnett says. "I felt very much like they were coming for ... two family members and that there has been entirely enough of that."
She added, "I also was sort of simultaneously realizing that there would be ... the assumption that these were exceptional events. But black women know better."
So Packnett started the hashtag #BlackWomenAtWork and invited black women to share their experiences.
Listen to black women. Trust black women. And believe black women when we tell you: This happens all the time.
1. It happens to doctors.
2. It happens to attorneys.
3. It happens to professors.
4. It happens in meetings.
5. It happens with co-workers.
6. It happens with managers.
6. It happens when you're just trying to get your work done.
7. It happens when you're auditioning.
8. It happens when you're interviewing.
9. It happens to women who are in too vulnerable a position to do anything about it.
10. It happens everyday, and it is exhausting.
11. It happens every day, and it feels awful.
But in struggle, there is solidarity. There is resilience. There is hope.
Maxine Waters, the legislator who inspired the hashtag, even got in on the social media groundswell. She also had an inspiring call to action on "All In With Chris Hayes" last night.
After the hashtag's overnight virality, many black women returned to Twitter this morning renewed, energized, and more determined than ever to confront this daily injustice.
12. Because black women won't be defeated.
13. Won't be denied.
14. And will never stop grinding, pushing, and working...
15. ...to show you what we're made of.
For Packnett and many others involved in activism and resistance work, this hashtag is just the beginning.
All of us have a responsibility to create inclusive work environments where everyone, particularly women and femmes of color, have a chance to succeed. Reading and listening to the stories black women shared last night is a great starting point.
"I hope people recognize that black women deserve dignity in the workplace whether they're a congresswoman or a domestic worker and everything in between," Packnett says. "I hope people who read this have a duty to not let this be their workplace, to not let this be their team. And to not let these stories be invisible."
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."