Teens live in a social media world that most grown-ups know almost nothing about.
Being connected to your friends all day is fun. Just don't take it too seriously.
The social life of a teen is as virtual as it is physical.
Teenagers have been glued to their phones for decades. Of course, a phone used to be for talking with friends for countless hours.
These days, talking's the least of what a phone is for.
It's all about the exciting forms of connection the Internet offers. "Social media," "social networking" — the key word is "social." And most teens are fanatically social.
Of course, there are horror stories.
With online bullying and other forms of predators, parents can easily be overwhelmed by their kids' online ambitions. Site age limits? Whatever. Kids fudge their ages and stories, and the peer pressure to join in or be left out is intense.
Parents wonder if kids understand the dangers.
Parents may know Facebook, and they might know about Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram, but how it all folds together for a teen is something they can really only imagine. Parents are left with the choice of terrifying their child with how bad the world can be or just trying to remain as vigilant as possible.
Lots of parents end up just praying their kids have some common sense.
Dr. Gregory Dillon got together with some teens to talk about their strategies for dealing with the anxieties of online life.
"When you go digital, you're basically amplifying yourself way out. And so the question is how much can you handle." — Dr. Gregory Dillon
On the one hand, by interacting with a larger audience, you might get more approval than you're used to in the physical world. But, on the other hand, you also stand to be rejected on a much larger scale. And that can be awful.
They talked about four things.
FOMO: Fear of missing out
Misinterpretation
Communicating with texts removes all the visual and tone-of-voice clues, so it's something to be really wary about.
"Like" anxiety
Likes on Facebook and Instagram too easily become a measure of popularity. It's exciting when you get them and painful when you don't.
It's hard not to count your Likes.
Achieving a balance
Dillon's suggestion was to think of all online and offline activities as slices in a pie chart. Each has a place — and caring about Likes is fine — as long as it doesn't overwhelm everything else you care about.
The teens' thoughtful answers and self-awareness are encouraging. And there's barely a moment in which the kids smiles' aren't communicating how much fun their online lives are.
Maybe they're up to the challenge after all.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."