upworthy

strangers

@k8tymilla/TikTok

"It broke me."

We simply never know what someone else is going through, nor do we know how a simple bit of connection can offer so much healing.

Twenty-five-year-old server Katie Miller certainly never would have anticipated that a seemingly ordinary conversation between her and a couple dining at her restaurant would lead to her getting a handwritten note that left her "sobbing mid shift.”

But as the scribblings left on the back of the receipt revealed, this was the couple’s first outing since losing their 27-year-old daughter, and apparently Miller offered them a precious gift: an opportunity to smile once again.

 

 handwritten note, server, server life, waitress, tipping, restaurant, kindness, note on bill, grief, connection, losing a daughter TikTok · Katie Miller  www.tiktok.com  

The note read:

“Thank you for your wonderful service. Our 27-year-old daughter passed away unexpectedly about 5 weeks ago and today is the first day I have been able to get my wife out to enjoy a real meal. Thank you for making her smile. You will never know what it means to us.”

What did Miller and this woman talk about that lifted her spirits? Hair and aging. Miller shared with Newsweek that she complimented the woman’s "beautiful curly red hair," noting how “people nowadays are dying their hair to look like hers.” The woman then laughingly admitted she dyed her hair to cover some grays. Miller quipped that she just plucked hers out. That’s it. Such a normal, everyday conversation, but it made such a lasting impact.

 handwritten note, server, server life, waitress, tipping, restaurant, kindness, note on bill, grief, connection, losing a daughter " You will never know what it means to us.”@k8tymilla/TikTok

Then, after seeing the note left for her, Miller told Newsweek, "You would never have guessed. It broke me. It hurts knowing people are struggling like that." Though she didn’t approach the couple again, she decided to share the story on TikTok to help remind others that "Kindness goes a long way. We can truly heal others if we're nice.”

From the slew of similar stories shared by fellow service workers in the comment section, we can take solace in the fact that these occurrences maybe aren’t as rare as we think they are.

“I took my son to work with me once, and a single man who only ordered a $3 beer tipped me $100 and wrote ‘I used to go to work with my mom too. Make sure you take him to the movies after your shift, on me.’ I kept the receipt until it crumbled.”

“One time while working in retail I was checking out these items for this older woman and I complimented her necklace. She started crying and telling me how her late husband gifted it to her. She said I made her day.”

“I had a customer ask me how old my kid was after talking about him for a while. Customer paid up and said ‘your kid is 5, correct/’ I said yes sir. Handed my 5 $100 bills and said ‘use this for him please.’ His grandson passed away, also 5. I haven’t cried that hard in my adult life ever.”

“One time I worked at Sonic, I took a woman’s drink out to her, she was sobbing alone in her car. I felt weird asking but something in me felt it was necessary…she told me her daughter had just recently tried to take her own life and was in the hospital, she wasn't sure if she would make it and was beside herself with sadness. I opened the door and just hugged her. For a moment we both needed that hug. She told me I reminded her of her daughter and how beautiful she is when she smiled. Even since then I learned to always be kind.

“We were really busy one night when I was working the bar at a restaurant I used to work at in college. I noticed a man a few rows back, just waiting in the crowd. Never moving forward. He hadn’t been served and was very hesitant looking worried. I decided to approach him…turned out he was deaf and just super overwhelmed. We wrote back and forth that evening and I made sure I stayed on top of his service. When he left, he handed me a note, and in it he told me he gets ignored a lot in busy places…The last line said, ‘thank you for SEEING me’…it broke my heart thinking about how ppl had overlooked him so often. I’m so glad I could at least make THAT night better for him. I cried in the kitchen for a good bit after he left.”

“One lady at the bar I bartended at was staring at me so oddly during the whole time I was taking care of them…honeslty I thought she didn’t like me. But before they left she came up to me and said ‘this might be weird but it is so good to meet you again’ and handed me a note [that] said I looked and talked and walked, even smiled like her best friend that had passed a few years ago…I cried so hard;I keep it in my glove box now.”

Interacting with strangers is a necessary part of life. Then again, life has a way of reminding us that none of us are really strangers at all. We all carry pain, we all seek out connection, and we all need help finding a reason to smile from time to time. May this be a friendly reminder to be that person for someone else, whenever possible.

 handwritten note, server, server life, waitress, tipping, restaurant, kindness, note on bill, grief, connection, losing a daughter Go out and be kind today. @k8tymilla/TikTok

A surprise sweet 16 took place on the subway. It showed humanity at its best.

'Can strangers in a subway car come together and have a party?'

Addie Weyrich wanted to do something spectacular for her friend Jenny Gorelick's sweet 16.

So she decided to throw Gorelick a surprise party — on a New York City subway train.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.


Sporting a bright red dress and a whole lot of anxious enthusiasm, Weyrich informed passengers of New York City's Q train about what was about to happen.

"Jenny loves the subway," she announces to curious and confused riders in the video below. "She loves it so much that we thought we would throw her a surprise birthday party — right here, on this subway car."

She then asked riders if they'd help her pull it off.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

"She does not know this is happening," Weyrich explained to the passengers. "She thinks she's going to a completely different birthday party. She's going to come on at 57th Street — our friend, Sam, is there; she's going to make sure she's getting on this car exactly."

Fortunately — and maybe surprisingly if you think the cold New Yorker stereotype is true — most of the subway riders were more than happy to help pull it off.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

When it was time for Gorelick to step on board, the surprise went perfectly.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

The subway strangers seemed just as elated as Gorelick to celebrate her big 1-6.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Here's the real surprise, though: Gorelick's birthday party ... wasn't a real birthday party.

Addie Weyrich is an actor. So is Gorelick.

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

Weyrich and Gorelick are part of the team at Improv Everywhere — a comedy group that produces spur-of-the-moment performances to get public reactions.

You can watch the video of the whole event here:

If you think that knowing it was staged might take away some of the magic of the sweet 16 party, you'd be wrong.

Though the birthday component of the performance was fake, the excitement, enthusiasm, and camaraderie of the subway riders — who were not in on the joke — certainly wasn't. And that was the point.

"The real intent behind this stunt was to see if we could get an assortment of random commuters to play along," Charlie Todd, who created and directed the event, wrote about the experiment. "Can strangers in a subway car come together and have a party?"

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

The answer, clearly, is yes.

Improv Everywhere orchestrated a number of the parties throughout the day. According to Todd, while not everyone on board was up for the surprise, about 80% of the riders helped out in some way when given the opportunity.

"The best part of the experience was the smiles, laughs, and hugs from complete strangers," Todd wrote. "I’ll never get tired of seeing people from all different walks of life come together to do something fun on a subway car."

Photo by Ari Scott for improveverywhere.com.

The performance by Improv Everywhere feels like a breath of fresh air in today's tumultuous times. Lately it can feel like everyone is helplessly divided; like the ties to our communities and neighbors are nonexistent, and we're all growing more detached.

That's simply not the case, and the helpful, smiley strangers that pulled off Jenny's 16th birthday are proof of it.

"Even if the set up was staged, the party was real," Todd wrote. "And it was a blast!"

When Christina Causland stopped in a bathroom at the HomeGoods in Solana Beach, California, she found an unexpected surprise: a pile of diapers.

Unused, luckily. Sitting atop the small pile of wipes and diapers was a small note. It read:

"I once found myself in this exact same spot with a newborn with a crazy blowout and NO DIAPERS or WIPES. An unmitigated disaster, that was! Just in case you have found yourself in the same sort of pickle, I brought in some wipes and diapers to save the day. Good luck out there! Happy Holidays! —Sarah"
 
 
 

 I don't know you Sarah, but you're a gem! #gooddeeds #upworthy #HomeGoods #mademyday


 

A photo posted by ✌️😆🐞 (@xtina_cauz) on

Christina doesn't have any kids of her own, but she was so touched by this stranger's act of kindness that she decided to share it on Instagram.

"I can definitely relate to being in a pinch and not having what I needed," she explains in an e-mail. "I mostly just wanted to highlight her good deed and pass it along in hopes it would inspire others to do so."

We've all found ourselves in similar situations. Maybe instead of missing a diaper, you were a dollar short in the checkout line at the grocery store or maybe you had car trouble away from home with no one around to help. No matter what the case, we all know what it's like being in unfortunate and embarrassing situations — and how grateful we feel when a complete stranger comes to the rescue.

Sometimes you just need a little help. Photo by iStock.

Little things like stocking a store restroom with some emergency diapers can make a big difference in people's lives. During the holiday season, it's a great time to reflect on what our own contributions to the world can be.

As the saying goes, not all heroes wear capes. To a frustrated mom in an unenviable situation, Sarah came to the rescue. The same thing can be seen in the world all around us, from the Philadelphia restaurant known for its "pay-it-forward" approach to pizza to the stranger who picked up the tab for a Texan's auto repairs to people just doing their best to make positivity contagious.

Sure, there are a lot of bad things out there, a lot of negativity that permeates society. But if there's one thing that can warm the heart of cynics everywhere, it's knowledge that the world is filled with small-scale superheroes — we just have to look for them. And if we can't find them, we should do our best to be them.

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A man thought it was OK to question her son's tutu. Was he ever wrong.

'I will not let angry strangers tell my son what he can or cannot wear.'

When people ask Jen Anderson Shattuck's 3-year-old son about the sparkly tutus he likes to wear, he says they make him feel beautiful and brave.

He wisely says there are no rules about what boys can wear or what girls can wear.

Jen says people are generally pretty accepting of the tutus ... except for people like the stranger Jen and her son met a few weeks ago. Check out Jen's Facebook post below about what the man said and how she responded:


My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums. And he...

Posted by Jen Anderson Shattuck on Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Here's the full text:

My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums. And he likes to wear sparkly tutus. If asked, he will say the tutus make him feel beautiful and brave. If asked, he will say there are no rules about what boys can wear or what girls can wear.

My son has worn tutus to church. He has worn tutus to the grocery store. He has worn tutus on the train and in the sandbox. It has been, in our part of the world, a non-issue. We have been asked some well-intentioned questions; we've answered them; it has been fine. It WAS fine, until yesterday.

Yesterday, on our walk to the park, my son and I were accosted by someone who demanded to know why my son was wearing a skirt. We didn't know him, but he appeared to have been watching us for some time.

"I'm just curious," the man said. "Why do you keep doing this to your son?"

He wasn't curious. He didn't want answers. He wanted to make sure we both knew that what my son was doing---what I was ALLOWING him to do---was wrong."She shouldn't keep doing this to you," he said. He spoke directly to my son. "You're a boy. She's a bad mommy. It's child abuse."

He took pictures of us, although I asked him not to; he threatened me. "Now everyone will know," he said. "You'll see."

I called the police. They came, they took their report, they complimented the skirt. Still, my son does not feel safe today. He wants to know: "Is the man coming back? The bad man? Is he going to shout more unkind things about my skirt? Is he going to take more pictures?"

I can't say for sure. But I can say this: I will not be intimidated. I will not be made to feel vulnerable or afraid. I will not let angry strangers tell my son what he can or cannot wear.

The world may not love my son for who he is, but I do. I was put on this earth to make sure he knows it.

I will shout my love from street corners.

I will defend, shouting, his right to walk down the street in peace, wearing whatever items of clothing he wants to wear.

I will show him, in whatever way I can, that I value the person he is, trust in his vision for himself, and support his choices---no matter what anybody else says, no matter who tries to stop him or how often.

Our family has a motto. The motto is this:

We are loving.

We are kind.

We are determined and persistent.

We are beautiful and brave.

We know who we are. Angry strangers will not change who we are. The world will not change who we are---we will change the world.

































Jen's Facebook post has been met with an outpouring of support since she posted her story.

It's been shared over 51,000 times, and the comments have been empowering and supportive overall. Sure, there will always be haters. And yes, tutus are frilly, sparkly garments often associated with girls and princesses, sugar and spice and everything nice. But is there a rule that says boys can't also love those things? Nope.

Jen's not alone in her open-minded approach to her kid's self-expression. Charlize Theron was recently criticized after her son was photographed dressed as Elsa from "Frozen," but she supported his choices just like Jen did.

Kudos to Jen (and other parents like her!) for encouraging this awesome display of self-expression. And kudos to her young son for not letting small-minded people get in the way of his desire to express himself!