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Modern Families

36-year-old grabs and flips the camera during 'Happy Birthday' song. It's actually genius.

Who needs a boring video of a grown adult staring at a cake when you can have this?

Canva Photos

The birthday girl grabbed the camera and turned it around while party guests sang—and the result was amazing.

No proper birthday celebration is complete without an off-key rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung by a number of friends and family members of various vocal talents. Even as an adult, you may not have an elaborate party, but it's still nice to enjoy that small moment: A small cake, cupcake, or other treat, and 30 seconds of love and recognition from the people who mean the most to you.

Inevitably, someone will whip out their phone to record the occasion. If you've been the birthday person recently, you know it's a little uncomfortable to have someone filming you as you stare at the cake and smile politely, waiting for the song to end. And besides, who wants to watch that video back anyway?

One woman is going viral on social media for giving the dry, overdone "Happy Birthday" video a clever twist.

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones A good reminder to never take it for granted when you have people to help you celebrate. Photo by Bave Pictures on Unsplash

Deniz Kayiket recently posted a reel captioned: "It took me 36 years to realize you're supposed to record birthday videos the other way around."

In the video, she's shown sitting at a table as someone presents her with a cake that's adorned with lit candles, including a fancy, sparkly one in the middle. Kayiket then reaches out for the camera phone, taking it away from whoever's filming, and spins the camera around to capture the audience of friends and family in attendance.

The result is so joyful and full of life I can't believe everyone doesn't take videos like this.

The clip went mega viral to the tune of over 10 million views and hundreds of thousands of responses.

People found the idea of Kayiket capturing not her own celebratory milestone, but the people who had gathered to help her make it special, so overwhelmingly beautiful.

"Ohhh how i wish this happened when I was a kid! What i wouldn't give to see those people again"

"Sometimes it's hard to simply realize, those that you surround yourself with may not always be there. But cherish each moment with them. Life's too short for arguments, negativity, or past problems. You never know when's the last time you'll see someone you love."

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones No party is too small to make a great memory. Giphy

The comments kept rolling in on TikTok, where the clip racked up another nearly three million views:

"Im jealous on what you get to look back on. I never made my birthdays relevant enough to remember"

"Why is this the sweetest thing ever"

"The fact that she thought to do this shows how aware and appreciative she is for everything she has. This is not someone who takes things for granted"

Some commenters claimed that the real 'trick' is to be in the moment and focused on the people around you without any phones or cameras at all. But that sentiment, while valid, misses the point.

"Whenever I watch the videos and photos of my past birthdays I feels so grateful for taking them, memories fade, photos and videos stay," someone astutely noted.

In an era where photos and videos have become so ubiquitous, it's crucial to find ways to make them really count.

With 91% of Americans owning an iPhone or equivalent smartphone, we have the capacity to take a nearly unlimited number of photos and videos. It can be a great thing. You'll never miss a moment anymore! You'll never be unpleasantly surprised to find your film print ruined by bad lighting or a thumb over the lens (which happened to me too many times when I was younger). But there's also something about the unlimited-ness of it all that has made photos and video less special.

(There was something amazing about the era of old photo albums, where you might have one good picture of a birthday party, or just a handful of shots with a relative who died when you were young. It's nice to have more, but those felt incredibly meaningful. Now the average user has upwards of 2000 photos stored on their devices, and even that seems like a conservative estimate.)

When I watch Kayiket's video, I can't help but think of the old photography advice that says something to the effect of, "If a photo doesn't have someone you love in it, you'll never look at it again."

I think about it all the time when I'm trying to capture a sunset or take in a breathtaking view. The photo never does it justice, anyway, and I never go back and look at them. But I do want to see photos of my friends and family in meaningful moments, big and small. I definitely don't need a zillion more photos of myself, but I would pay really good money to have a video like hers from birthdays past of my parents, relatives who have since passed away, and old friends who got together to sing and congratulate me.

So, if you're a grown adult with a birthday coming up, try this cool trick. Grab the camera and flip it around while your loved ones clap and celebrate. It'll be a unique and amazing video to look back on one day.

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A U.S. Army soldier sent her parents a surprise for the ages, and it's pure magic.

She tells everybody how amazing her parents are. The thing is, she hadn't said it to her parents.

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Minute Maid

Elva "Lala" Torres is a soldier in the U.S. Army.

Growing up, she says, her parents always did all they could to bring out the absolute best in her. They saw something special in her that Lala often didn't see herself. No wonder having to leave home was the hardest part for her.

All images via Minute Maid.


But even though her parents, Raoul and Marta Torres, now live more than 2,000 miles away from her in Layton, Utah, they send her loads of love and encouragement in their own little way — by mailing care packages.

"I am halfway across the country from my parents, but it doesn't feel that way," Lala says. "Getting care packages from them motivated me to keep going during those moments when I was ready to give up on myself."

That's why Lala wanted to show her parents just how much they mean to her. So she decided to flip the script and send them a reverse care package.

She included some goodies and mementos and, most importantly, heartfelt letters to both her parents with everything she's ever wanted to say to them. She even threw in a special surprise you'll have to see for yourself — check it out:

When Raoul and Marta received their daughter's care package, it was pure magic.

They opened the box to see all sorts of amazing photos, a bottle of sand from the same beach where Lala and Raoul had trained — Raoul was also in the military for 27 years — and handfuls of little green toy soldiers that Lala played with growing up.

The best item in the box, though, might just be the beautiful letter that Lala wrote for her parents.

"Dear Mom and Papa,

Even though we may be many miles apart, I wanted to send you a couple of items to let you know that your love and wisdom carries with me wherever I go. When I told you I was thinking about joining the military, you taught me to never question my potential. You showed me that I could dedicate my life doing whatever it was that I was truly passionate about. I haven’t had the chance to walk beside you in a while, but I still feel as safe as I did when you were by my side. Thank you forever.

Love,
Lala"




For many people, it can be challenging to stay connected with family — especially when the distance between them is so far.

But sometimes, all it takes is something small — a sweet text message, a random video call, or even a special care package — to let loved ones know how big an impression on you they truly make.

Want to send a reverse care package of your own to someone you love? Head over to MinuteMaid.com right now for some awesome ideas and inspiration to get you started.

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Prudential

When Christine Powers was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1995, she took it in stride.

No one would have blamed her if she had complained, but that wasn't her way.

Christine in New York City. All photos via Gerry Powers, used with permission.


It was the same thing when Christine was diagnosed with malignant skin cancer in 2000.

Even when the cancer reappeared later, seven years after being cancer-free, she kept her composure. That time, the cancer had spread to her brain. After multiple operations and a multi-year battle, it was clear the cancer was terminal, so her family opted to get Christine hospice care.

For anyone not familiar with it, the term "hospice" can seem like it carries some mysterious and scary connotations, but it actually refers to a type of medical and emotional care for people in the last stages of a terminal illness. It helps them and their families manage the end of life with as much compassion as possible by focusing on the quality of life instead of continuing often painful treatments to prolong it.

Samantha Lee is one of the hospice aids who helped care for Christine in her last years. 

"Christine was the youngest patient I ever had," Samantha says. "I was in love with that family so much."

The Powers family.

Hospice nurses and aides try to ensure a patient isn't in pain and help them — as much as possible — live their final days with dignity.

When Samantha helped take care of Christine, she came to the house five days a week, four hours at a time. She would cook, wash clothes, run errands, talk with Christine, and then work with her to try to keep her energy and mood up. She helped her do some exercises, and she encouraged her to do one major project a day to keep her spirits up.

"Our home aides knew Christine really, really well," Gerry Powers, Christine's husband, fondly recalls.

Gerry and Christine Powers.

And they were with her until the end, making her as comfortable as possible and the family as cared for as possible.

"You can be intellectually prepared for a loss, if someone in your life is declining," Gerry says. "But I don't think you’re ever really emotionally prepared when it happens. That’s the thing."

Samantha says people's eyes get big when she tells them she's a hospice worker, caring for patients at the end of their lives.

"They'll say, 'Oh, you’re a hospice aide? Wow, must be hard. Why do you like that?'" she mimics over the phone.

But you can tell by her voice just how much she loves her job. She says she's grateful that she can be there to help the patients and their loved ones through this difficult time.

"[This job] changed me around," she says. "It made me more soft on the inside, more compassionate and humbled."

One thing Samantha has learned from her work is the importance of having conversations about death and dying early on.

It's not an easy thing to do, but talking openly about death can bring some comfort to the end of life.

Especially in Western countries, talking about death is kind of taboo and invokes anxiety and fear in many of us. But if a loved one dies without ever having shared their end-of-life wishes, it can add extra stress and confusion during crisis mode.

"You have one family member that feels that this is not the way to live, that [the loved one] should go," says Samantha. "Then you have the other family member that wants to hold on."

She says that if people start conversations about what they want when they get to the end, then it shouldn't be a problem when the time actually comes. Family members will know exactly what they need to do and be able to spend more time focusing on their loved one and taking care of themselves.

Gerry and Christine.

Samantha says that her work as a hospice worker has also given her a new perspective on life and death.

"I look at life much different," she says.

"It really doesn't make sense to be so angry and have a lot of hatred in your heart because nobody knows when their time is up."

Liz Eddy was only 9 years old when she lost her father to cancer, but it wasn't until she reached college that she finally let herself grieve.

"I pretty much ignored it completely and tried to go back to normal life," said Eddy. "There isn't a simple recipe for grief."

Over time, of course, grief snuck up on her, and she had to face it. That's when she heard about Experience Camps — weeklong not-for-profit summer camps designed to help kids cope with the death of a loved one, free of charge.


Experience Camps campers with dog mascot. All photos courtesy of Experience Camps.

The camps were started back in 2009 by Sara Deren, whose husband ran Camp Manitou, a boys' camp in Maine. That first summer they had 27 campers, and now they have almost 400 in three different locations across the country.

Eddy volunteered to be a counselor at Experience Camps back in 2013, and she now serves on the camp's board of directors. Like 90% of the campers, she simply can't stay away.

Experience Camps give all the kids (and counselors) the chance to deal with their emotions and grief in their own time, in their own way, while surrounded by other people who truly "get it."

"Most of the kids they know haven't had someone close to them die, and it makes them feel different and alone," wrote Deren in an email. "Being at a camp like this shows them that they are not alone, gives them an opportunity to talk about their person who died, and release some of the weight they carry around with them."

Campers hanging out.

In everyday life, there's often a lot of pressure to keep grief hidden, Eddy notes, even when around family members who are experiencing it too. "[The campers] don’t want their families to hurt anymore," Eddy explained.

At Experience Camps — where there's an underlying understanding that everyone is struggling with similar feelings day-to-day — that pressure seems to melt away.

When the campers aren't working through their grief, it's also just a great camp filled with summer activities and lifelong friendships.

Human pyramids are always fun.

And there's nothing better than bouncy water toys.

One of the boys camps during College League (like color war).

Anyone who's been to camp knows how quickly bonds can form there. Whether kids are doing mundane things, like brushing their teeth, or exciting things, like learning to water ski, camp friends become their second family. For kids who've experienced a great personal loss, their camp family is often the only group of people with whom they feel comfortable being completely vulnerable.

Eddy recalled one instance were she saw a bunch of boys having a great time on stand-up paddleboards. They told her later that the excursion prompted them to go back to their bunks and show each other pictures of the family members they lost over laughter and tears. The boys ended up a whole lot closer for it.

The camps emphasize that the best way to cope with loss is often through finding a balance between grief and joy.

"It's OK to grieve for someone and still find happiness in life," Deren wrote over email.

The camp offers sharing circles where campers can talk openly about their feelings with clinicians and share memories of lost loved ones, but that's not the only place for "breakthrough moments." These moments are just as likely to occur during a rousing basketball game or while walking through a field after a bonfire.

"You just don’t know when [grief is] going to come out, but the most beautiful thing is everyone is open and aware and ready to listen,” said Eddy.

Camper and counselor on luau night.

One night, Eddy was walking back to her bunk after the final bonfire of the week — a time when many kids finally open up — with a 9-year-old girl who had been closed off most of the week ... until that very moment.

"She looks up at me and says, 'I didn’t cry,'" Eddy recalled. "I started to go into mom mode saying, 'No. it’s okay! You don’t have to cry. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything!' And she stopped me and said, 'No, but you don’t understand. I feel her. I feel my mom in my heart.' And we both immediately just start crying in the middle of this field."

At the end of the summer, campers leave Experience with the tools they need to continue working through their feelings as they grow into adulthood and to help others do the same.

Remembrance stones for people who've passed.

Campers learn there's no one magic way to get through grief, that everyone processes it in their own unique way, and that the feelings that go along with it are going to change over time. They leave knowing there will be great days and terrible days, but that they've got a support system that will always be there for them when they need it most.

It comes down to a story the counselors tell the campers about an invisible string: Even though they can't see it, this string ties all the campers and counselors of Experience together and acts as a constant reminder they are never alone.

Check out a video on Experience Camps here: