upworthy

encouragement

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to react in the moment.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

good mom, good parentingIt's always good to see examples of stellar parenting.Giphy GIF by ABC Network

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. In 2022, he was teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared an exchange he had with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Watch:

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuck-asaurus" video in which she offered delightfully colorful commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

skateboarding girl, skateboard dadPractice makes perfect.Giphy

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

dad on skateboard, kids skating, parentingParents often set the tone for how kids react.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

courage, parental encouragementEncouragement is part of how kids gain courage.Giphy Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's ongoing family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).

This article originally appeared three years ago.

GMA/Youtube

Wail Alselwi (@islandock1), the manager of Zack’s Finest Deli & Grocery in Port Richmond, Staten Island, created a new incentive for local students called Grades for Grabs

Acknowledging good grades can do so much to uplift kids' academic performance. And Staten Island bodega manager Wail Alselwi is making sure that the students in his local community are recognized for their scholastic efforts by offering them rewards for their hard work.

Alselwi (@islandock1), the manager of Zack’s Finest Deli & Grocery in Port Richmond, Staten Island, created a new incentive for local students called Grades for Grabs—described as "a movement dedicated to rewarding students for their hard work with snacks and cash prizes for good grades." He began sharing heartfelt videos on his TikTok account of local kids coming into his store to show him their high marks in school, which began to catch on.

In an interview with Good Morning America, Alselwi shared that one student began it all in 2024: 12-year-old Zameir Davis. "I started it with him and then I started doing it with other kids too," he said about Davis. "Some kids have bad grades. You just need to encourage them to do better so they don't give up. You give them hope, and that someone really cares, and that there is a prize after for [their] hard work."

@islandock1

Zack’s finest #islandock #foryoupage #fypシ #ocky #deli #fypシ゚viral

In Davis' now-viral video, he excitedly burst into Alselwi's shop to share the good news that he had finally made the honor roll. "I told you I'd get honor roll!" he said in the video, to which Alselwi replied, "No way! You did it?! He did it! You're the man, Zameir!" For his reward, Zameir chose multiple bags of Doritos, a cookies & cream milkshake, and a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. "Keep going, ya heard! That's what I'm talking about," Alselwi says at the end of the video.

And TikTok viewers commended their sweet interaction. "He probably told you before his parents 🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰," one wrote. Another added, "The excitement he has to share his achievement 🥰. And another viewer shared, "definition of 'it takes a village'😭."

@islandock1

#Islandock #Zacksfinest #fypシ #foryoupag #ocky #deli #foodtiktok #gradesforgrabs #GFG #islandockmerch #nyc #statenisland #school #reportcards #fypシ゚viral

Staten Island Borough President Vito Fossella also recognized Alselwi with a Certificate of Appreciation for his selfless act with Zamier, sharing, "[Alselwi] had no obligation, he had no reason, he had no point to help this young man, but he chose to and that’s the beauty of this story.”

@islandock1

#Islandock #Zacksfinest #fypシ #foryoupag #ocky #deli #gradesforgrabs #GFG #islandockmerch #nyc #statenisland #school #reportcards #library

Students have continued to visit Alselwi to receive encouragement and share their good grade news to receive an even sweeter reward: $100 and the chance to grab anything in the store they want thanks to Alselwi's generosity and crowdfunding.

"Many kids lack encouragement, and sometimes, all it takes is a small incentive to boost their confidence and push them toward greatness," he shared on the movement's GoFundMe page. "Imagine a student working extra hard to improve their grades, knowing their effort will be recognized and celebrated. That’s the impact we’re making!" He also adds that the mission statement of Grades for Grabs is to be "a community-driven initiative that makes learning fun and rewarding. Together, we can create a generation that values hard work, determination, and success!"

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kidsA handwritten note with the words "good job!" on itPhoto credit: Canva

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard.""I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kidsA man smilingPhoto credit: Canva

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kidsA dad with his kid on his shouldersPhoto credit: Canva

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

via Canva/Photos and Tod Perry

A veteran leaves a kind note for a dad at breakfast.

Being a parent is a hard job, and there are many differing opinions on how to raise a child. Plus, every child is so different that knowing you’re doing the right thing can be challenging. That’s why even the best parent in the world can use a little reassurance from time to time. There’s no better example than a recent story out of Fort Worth, Texas.

Dr. J. Mack Slaughter, 41, was having breakfast at Mimi's Cafe with his three young kids and wife. When it came time to pay the bill, the server told him the $85.21 had already been paid by another customer. When they gave him the bill, there was a note on the front: “Thank You For Being A Great Dad," with a hand-drawn smiley face.

“We need more men like you.”

When Slaughter flipped it over, he found another note on the back:

"From a dad to a dad. Thank you for being the dad they need you to be regardless of who’s watching. We need more men like you. Thank you for letting us all see your love for them all.

From,

A retired Army medic"


“I couldn’t control my tears. There was nobody watching for my reaction—(as) the person was already gone. It was just pure kindness,” Slaughter told SWNS. He had been playing a dot game with his kids while they ate and had no idea he was being observed from afar. “Man, this hit me right in the feels!” he later wrote on Instagram. “Random acts of kindness are SO POWERFUL!!! My entire day is changed, maybe my whole month?? I’m just so awesomely aware of the good that exists in complete strangers.”

Every parent could use some reassurance.

The kind gesture was also a great example for Slaughter’s children. “Once I composed myself and explained to my kids why I was crying happy tears, my daughter asked me, 'Dad, who should WE bless today?’” Slaughter wrote. The note also reassured Slaughter who, as an ER doctor, he sees a lot of tragedy. “I see some of the most terrible things in the world, but this reminded me that complete strangers can do miraculous, beautiful things when you least expect it,” he told SWNS.

The generous veteran probably had no idea, but he offered kindness to someone who knew something about giving back. Slaughter founded a nonprofit called Music Meets Medicine, which raises money to donate instruments and instructional time to children with chronic conditions.

The emergency room doctor once had a music career as a member of, Sons of Harmony, as a pop group that opened for big-name acts, including Destiny’s Child and Jessica Simpson.


Sluaghter’s story is a wonderful example of how, even though you may not know it when it’s happening, people out there notice when they see parents going above and beyond. Slaughter could have been looking at his phone, or his children could have been on iPads during breakfast. But instead, he was engaged with his kids, making the most out of their time together, and that is what being a dad is all about.

“I guess I’ll never know who did this or be able to thank them in person, but I promise to double down on being the best damn father I can possibly be,” Slaughter wrote on Instagram. “Parents, don’t you dare fake it, but I’m keeping my eye out for my chance to pay this forward.”