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eating disorders

Influencer admits she's not 'naturally pretty' breaking down changes

Influencer is a word that has seeped into the lexicon all over the world. It's now considered a legitimate career option that Millennials and Gen Zers have fully taken advantage of, as it can be lucrative. But just like magazines, everything you see on social media isn't real. Influencers highly curate their content, even the ones that have "messy" homes. It's curated mess much of the time.

The other area that is highly curated is the image viewers see of the person making the content. Oftentimes they look incredibly put together causing people to believe their "no makeup" makeup is the way they naturally look. An influencer named Mila has decided to set the record straight after consistently receiving comments saying that she's naturally pretty. Mila adamantly contends that she is in fact not naturally pretty and doesn't want people to think that she is.

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman leaning on wall Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

Social media has been linked to low self-esteem in both young teenage girls and boys causing other mental health issues such as body dysmorphia, eating disorders, depression and anxiety. Some cite the heavily edited and curated photos of influencers and celebrities on the platforms as contributing factors. Given this information, it seems more influencers are ripping the filter off to show that they don't even look who they portray once the filters fall.

Mila shares her reason for people not to fall for her being a naturally pretty person in a now viral video shared across multiple social media platforms. The seemingly makeup free beautiful blond says, "I don't want anyone to ever think that I'm like naturally pretty or I naturally look like this. My hair is bleached. Eyebrows are dyed and groomed. Eyelashes, eyelash serum. If I don't have an eyelash serum on I don't have eyelashes."

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman in black off-shoulder shirt sitting on brown wooden stairs Photo by Jon Ly on Unsplash

The woman then starts pointing out sections on her face where she receives botox before adding, "I've had multiple lip flips in my life. Nails are busted but they are in fact fake. Tan is fake. Teeth are not fake but they were thousands of dollars and five years worth of braces and dental work and then on top of that, whitening the f**k out of my teeth every single week so they look like this. None of this is natural. I don't want any young girl following me to think that this is a natural beauty standard."

While Mila admits that there may be some people out there that just naturally wake up looking like that, she does not. She explains that she's spent a lot of money to look the way she does so she can feel her best. It seems that she's hoping her honest video reaches teenagers who are falling into the trap of believing that people on the internet are naturally beautiful without trying. People in the comments were thrilled with the influencers honesty with some wanting others to do the same.

"WE NEED MORE INFLUENCERS LIKE YOU!!!!!" one person exclaims.

"THANK YOU! I would have needed this content when I was a kid," someone else says.

"Thank you. Sometimes I forget that people (can) get things done and I just assume everyone is as pretty as they come while scrolling," another writes.

influencers; social media; social media mental health; mental health; plastic surgery; social media filterswoman getting cosmetic injectionsPhoto credit: Canva

"Thank you. Sometimes I forget that people (can) get things done and I just assume everyone is as pretty as they come while scrolling," someone shares.

Another commenter shares that she hopes things will go further, "This is definitely a huge step in the right direction. Maybe one day we can prove to little girls that it doesn’t take so much work to feel our best. Maybe we don’t feel the need to spend sooooo much time effort and hard earned money to finally feel content in our skin. Cause if it requires all of that maybe it’s not really contentment. Nothing against OP just bringing up a thought I had when I saw it."

Alie Ward

Your dinner plate shouldn't shame you for eating off of it. But that's exactly what a set being sold at Macy's did.

The retailer has since removed the dinnerware from their concept shop, Story, after facing social media backlash for the "toxic message" they were sending.

The plates, made by Pourtions, have circles on them to indicate what a proper portion should look like, along with "helpful — and hilarious — visual cues" to keep people from "overindulging."

There are serval different styles, with one version labeling the largest portion as "mom jeans," the medium portion as "favorite jeans," and the smallest portion as "skinny jeans."


This troublesome imagery rubbed people the wrong way, with some accusing the plates' messaging of encouraging eating disorders.

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Alie Ward first Tweeted about the plates, writing: "How can I get these plates from @Macys banned in all 50 states."

Ward later told the Huffington Postthe plates reminded herof the "moms to young girls to guys who dismiss centuries of crushing beauty standards and laugh them off." Ward joked about banning the plates because she "just wanted to show the world how insidious beauty culture, and in this case one that shames women, can be. But I wanted Macy's to know that what they carry and display matters, it can hurt people, and they're accountable for it."

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Other people on Twitter echoed Ward's sentiments, saying the plates promoted unhealthy behavior and were guilty of fat shaming.








As a result, Macy's decided to pull the plates from Story. "Hi, Alie — we appreciate you sharing this with us and agree that we missed the mark on this product. It will be removed from all STORY at Macy's locations," Macy's Tweeted.


It's great that Macy's stepped up to the plate and drew a line. The difference between being a "foodie" and being in a "food coma" isn't a line on your dinnerware. Nobody should feel judged by an inanimate object.

Family

Stephanie Beatriz's super-relatable essay about 'disordered eating' is a must-read.

The 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' star's essay about her eating disorder hits home.

Just weeks away from taking a new round of publicity photos, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" actress Stephanie Beatriz shared her pre-shoot routine — and why she won't be following it this year.

Beatriz appears on a "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" panel during the 2013 Summer Television Critics Association tour. Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images.

"I’d stress. I’d look in the mirror and pick apart my body, my face. I’d zoom in on areas I hated, like my ass or my stomach. And then I’d start the obsessive food restriction and compulsive workouts," she wrote at InStyle, sharing her experience as a self-described "disordered eater."


She lays herself bare in the powerfully emotional piece, opening up about something so personal. For those who know her from TV, the story is perhaps not quite what you'd expect from the actress who plays Rosa Diaz, a tough-talking, no-nonsense detective. That's part of what makes her public vulnerability so powerful.

While the essay itself is extremely personal, Beatriz's experience with disordered eating is, unfortunately, not that unusual.

According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. have an eating disorder. That's nearly 1 in 10 people in the country.

"Food was both the remedy and the punishment," Beatriz wrote, describing a fairly common aspect of some eating disorders. "I thought by controlling what I ate I was controlling my fate, when it was ultimately controlling me," she wrote, later adding that she also used food as a form of "self-medication."

Beatriz attends the 2015 Screen Actors Guild Awards in Los Angeles. Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

Beatriz is working hard to learn to love her body and build a healthier relationship with food.

In the essay, she talked about how hard she's worked to change her own outlook on life, and how important it was to make sure she's "seeing other women not as sizes in relation to [her own], but as beautiful, complex beings" and being more open about what she's going through with others in her life.

"Most importantly, I’m telling myself that I am perfect and lovely just the way I am, even if I start crying as I say it," she shared near the end of the essay. "I’m going to keep moving in the direction of my most authentic self by reminding myself every day that I’m worthy."

It's easy to look at celebrities as the embodiment of perfection, but they're real people with real challenges, too.

Body image expert and managing editor of Everyday Feminism, Melissa A. Fabello, says there are two reasons it's important for public figures to speak out about their body image issues, including their experience with eating disorders.

First, "because it helps to normalize the problem, rather than relegating it to secrecy," Fabello explains in a Twitter DM. Second, "because it puts into perspective how the people we're comparing ourselves to, like celebrities, don't look like that naturally either."

Case in point, here's how one fan reacted to Beatriz's story:

(See? How cool is that?)

Read Beatriz's story over at InStyle. For more information about eating disorders (including information on how to get help for you or a loved one), visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders website. We've reached out to Beatriz for comment and will update if we hear back.

Recovery is not just about the food.

OK, it is a little bit.


Image via iStock.

It’s about the late-night pizza runs with your partner, the bonding over pancakes and omelets, and recounting the night before with your friends.

It’s about sharing a spoon and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s over a movie, or buying chocolate at the gas station just because you feel like it. It’s about trying something new when you’re out to dinner because you feel adventurous and you aren’t worried about the fat or calories.

Recovery is about donuts and chips and all the things you used to cringe about in your disorder.

Image via iStock.

It’s about noticing that your body is hungry, and even though you’re feeling tired, busy, or emotional, you grab something quick and easy so you don’t feel hunger pains like you used to. It’s nourishing your body not because you need to, but because you want to. It’s about loving food again.

But really, it’s also not just about the food.

Recovery is about being free from the bondage of rules and numbers and rituals. It’s letting go of things that aren’t just right. It’s taking a nap on the couch when the dishes aren’t done and the house isn’t clean and you haven’t gone to the gym yet because a nap is what you need. It’s actually resting when you are sick. It’s shedding your old beliefs about yourself and creating a new future.

It’s standing up for yourself.

Recovery is safety and control. Not the safety of dormancy and controlling of numbers like you used to.

It’s safety in knowing that no matter what happens in life, you will be OK. It’s safety in knowing who you are and being proud of it.

It’s not the illusion of control that you had when you were counting calories or losing weight. It’s knowing that without those behaviors, you are the one in the driver’s seat. The disorder doesn’t control you anymore.

It’s making choices that are healthy for you because for once, you are actually in control.

Recovery is taking risks and making mistakes. It’s vulnerability. It’s laughing too loud at a joke that wasn’t that funny to begin with. It’s honesty. It’s crying in front of your partner and getting a hug instead of running to the other room and burying your face in a pillow.

Recovery is experiencing life.

Image via iStock.

It’s going to more places than just work or home. It’s making coffee plans with someone you never really knew before. It’s taking your dog on a different route for her walk because sometimes routine is boring. It’s traveling, even though you’re usually a homebody. It’s riding a rollercoaster so fast that you lose your breath. It’s finding a new hobby because now you have the time to.

It’s finally “leaving the nest.”

Recovery is standing on your own and being OK with it.

It’s looking back at your time in treatment and being grateful for all the people you met and things you learned. It’s knowing that for now, that part of your life is over. It’s learning how to be there for yourself. It’s the fear and anxiety that comes when you become more independent and stray away from your outpatient team, but the pride that comes with feeling like you don’t need to see them as much as you used to.

Recovery is welcoming all emotions and committing to growth. It’s honoring the human experience and vowing to live in the present moment. It’s experiencing all of your emotions, even if they are uncomfortable. It’s being rational.

Recovery is a process, and it’s messy.

It’s waking up every day with a commitment to do the best you can, and letting go of expectations. It’s being patient and trusting that wherever you are in this moment is exactly where you are meant to be. It’s seeing recovery as a journey and not a nuisance. It’s not wishing you were further along or somewhere else — it’s meeting yourself where you are.

It’s looking back at the past and being able to say, “Wow, I may not be where I want to be yet, but I sure have grown.”

Image via iStock.

Sometimes, it’s also relapse and slips and intermittent hospital stays for “tune-ups.” It is not contingent on where you are financially or physically. It’s not one event, but rather a series of happenings over time. It’s admitting that you are one human being — one of many human beings — who are just living their lives the best they can.

Recovery can be book deals and song-writing and motivational speaking to massive crowds, or it can be a quiet confidence that you carry with you every day. You can tell people you are in recovery and be proud of it, or you can move on as if the disorder never existed.

That’s the amazing thing about recovery: There are no rules.

Recovery is choosing to no longer be a victim, saying enough is enough, and doing the work, over and over and over, until it feels natural. Recovery is not unattainable, but don’t be confused: Recovery is not something given to us. It’s not passive in the least. It is brave. It is hard. It is worth it.

To all who struggle with an eating disorder, there is a whole other world out there waiting for you. Please, come visit.