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Teen with Down syndrome visits mother's grave to tell her he graduated high school

"I know you'd be so proud of me and happy. I love you so much."

RM Videos/YouTube

Paul Marshall Jr. visits his mom LaTonya's grave following high school graduation.

When Paul Marshall Jr., a teenager with Down syndrome, graduated from Haughton High School in Haughton, Louisiana in 2020, there was one person on his mind–his mom Latonya. Latonya passed away in 2010 following a battle with cancer when he was just 9 years old. And a resurfaced clip of Paul Jr. visiting her grave following his graduation ceremony to tell her his good news is once again going viral and bringing tears to viewers eyes.

In the video, Paul Jr. is seen walking up to his mom's grave while holding a bouquet of flowers. "Oh Mommy, I have something to say," he says. "I did it. I did it. I graduated today and I know you're so proud of me and happy. I love you so much." He walks to his mom's headstone and places the flowers in front of it before kissing his hand and placing it on the grave.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In an interview with KSLA, His father, Paul Marshall Sr., shared more about the video. "A week before he said, I want to go by mom’s grave and take some flowers," he said. He went on to share how much this day would have meant to LaTonya. "She always wanted the best for Paul Jr. Her last dying words were, ‘I just want to see Paul Jr. graduate'," he said.

Paul Jr. told the news station more about his graduation day. "I’ll miss high school and I’m very sad about it," he said. "God has my mom. And my grandmother will take care of my mom."

His graduation was not guaranteed. "Paul Jr. was born with one functioning kidney and a defective heart," his father shared. Less than a year before graduation, he needed to have heart surgery to have a new hear valve put in. And a few months later, he needed to have a kidney transplant. His donor? Paul Sr. Together, they underwent a grueling 8 hours of surgery.

"We’ve learned how to endure," his father said. "Paul Jr. could be hospitalized for 5 days, and on the 6th day, he’s out and laughing. If you’re having a bad day, or going through something, Paul Jr. is the person you want to be around and talking to that day."

LoveValentines Day Love GIF by Dave GamezGiphy

Their touching story garnered lots of emotional responses from viewers. "This is so sad and so sweet. It sucks losing your parents. It's like before time and after time, your life just isn't the same," one wrote. Another shared, "Holy shit that destroyed me. We’re all proud of you, but her most of all." And another added, "These sappy videos never get me but damn this one hit me in the feels and the tears are rolling. My mom died exactly 7 days after I graduated and she worked so hard to get me there. Really wish she could see me now. Losing a parent so young is hard and I can’t imagine losing them when you also have disabilities. Very strong for him and his support system to get him there. I know she would have been proud and it would have been one of the best days of her life seeing him graduate."

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Community

Woman shares heartfelt story of calling the cops on another parent and regretting it

"We have become a culture who watches for faults, instead of opportunities to help."

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"I am sad that the person who called her in didn't ask how they could HELP HER."

Years ago, Megan Burnside saw a mother physically struggling with her son. The boy was screaming ... so she called the cops.

The mother, it seemed, was trying to get her 10-year-old son back in the car, and it looked like things were getting physical. Concerned for the kid, Burnside decided to call the police. Then she and her husband left.

When the police called her later to update her on the situation, she was horrified: The boy had autism, they told her, and was known to sometimes lash out physically. The mother was just doing her best to calm him down, as she had many times before.

Sadly, stories like this aren't rare. Well-meaning strangers are frequently quick to intervene by calling authorities, which can cause undue stress and trauma for both the child and parent when that person has read the situation wrong. It can even be extraordinarily dangerous for people with disabilities and families of color.

When she realized the situation hadn't been at all what it had seemed, Burnside was racked with guilt. In fact, she still is.

When a similar thing happened to a friend of hers, Burnside decided to share her shameful story on Facebook — and explain how she'd do it all over differently, given the chance.

"This has come up for me today because someone called DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) on my dear friend," she wrote.

I have something weighing on my heart this morning. A few years ago I was in Tennessee with my husband at a training...
Posted by Megan Orr Burnside on Thursday, December 7, 2017

Burnside's friend, whom she called "the kind of mother I want to be like," was bedridden with a respiratory infection, when a person who probably thought they were "helping" called the authorities.

"I don't know what this person observed that they thought was a problem," she wrote. "Maybe her kids were running around without parental supervision? Maybe a parent wasn't feeding them so they were foraging for themselves?"

But there's a better way of doing things, Burnside says: actually offering to assist the struggling parent.

"I am sad that the person who called her in didn't ask how they could HELP HER," she wrote.

The post went viral and touched thousands and thousands of people who agree with her message.

Concern for the well-being of others is a good thing. But concern without empathy hurts everyone.

She wants to encourage people to reach out and help each other whenever possible, and not to assume the worst of our fellow parents and human beings.

"I really believe that the root of all judgement comes from self-judgement," she says in a Facebook message, noting that she developed more compassion for others by learning to have more compassion for herself and stop worrying about "messing up parenting."

"I think people want to live in a world where we help more and judge less, and all it takes is compassion," she says. "A lot of people have shared how this post will change the way they respond to struggling moms in the future, and I am really encouraged by that."

To be sure, at some point, you may actually witness abuse or neglect, and in those situations it's smart to get the right authorities involved. Burnside just wants to encourage all of us to think — and feel — before we act.


This article originally appeared on 12.14.17

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Pop Culture

Barbie introduces its first doll with Down syndrome in new Fashionistas lineup

The doll and her accessories were designed in close collaboration with the National Down Syndrome Society.

Mattel

Barbie's newest lineup of Fashionistas includes a Barbie with Down syndrome.

Ever since she made her debut in 1959, Barbie has been both celebrated for her wide range of careers and criticized for her unrealistic body image. As the first mass-produced doll toy with adult features, Barbie has been an iconic part of childhood imaginary play for decades despite her controversy, and as the hype around the new Barbie feature film shows, she's still a favorite among fans.

One way Barbie has managed to stay relevant is by evolving with the times. In her earliest years, she defied the 50s housewife expectation of women and showed girls that they could have any job they wanted. Since then, Mattel has broadened Barbie's initial blonde bombshell look to allow more girls to see themselves in Barbie's features.

For instance, meet one of the newest Barbie Fashionistas—the first Barbie to have Down syndrome.

Designed in close collaboration with the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS), the doll was made to celebrate individuals with Down syndrome. The NDSS had input in her design from start to finish, with the goal of having her look and accessories be reflective of the Down syndrome community.

Barbie with Down syndrome

Barbie has introduced its first doll with Down syndrome.

Mattel

Some of the features that are unique to this doll are a shorter frame and longer torso, a rounder face, smaller ears, a flatter nasal bridge and sligthly slanted, almond-shaped eyes—specifications designed to make Barbie more illustrative of women with Down syndrome. Even the palms of this Barbie's hands are purposefully designed, with a single line on the palm, which is a characteristic often associated with those with Down syndrome (but can also be seen in people with other conditions).

The doll’s dress features butterflies and yellow and blue colors, which are associated with Down syndrome awareness. And her pink pendant necklace shape represents the three copies of the 21st chromosome, which is what causes the syndrome's signature characteristics.

"The three chevrons, or arrows, are a symbol that unites the Down syndrome community and are meant to represent 'the lucky few' who have someone with Down syndrome in their life," shares Mattel.

Finally, since some children with Down syndrome wear orthotics to support their feet and ankles, the doll has been fashioned with a pair of pink ankle foot orthotics (AFOs) to match her outfit.

Barbie Fashionistas

Barbie's new Fashionista lineup

Mattel

This Barbie is one of a handful of newly-released Fashionista dolls, each of which expands Barbie's range of representation with an array of features. It even includes a Ken doll with a prosthetic leg.

Mattel says Barbie is the most inclusive doll line on the market, with "over 175 looks offering a variety of eye colors, hair colors and textures, body types, disabilities and fashions to tell more stories." As Lisa McKnight, Mattel's Executive Vice President and Global Head of Barbie & Dolls, points out, not only does this Barbie give kids with Down syndrome a Barbie that represents them, but it also reflects the world all kids live in.

“As the most diverse doll line on the market, Barbie plays an important role in a child’s early experiences, and we are dedicated to doing our part to counter social stigma through play,” McKnight said in a statement. “Our goal is to enable all children to see themselves in Barbie, while also encouraging children to play with dolls who do not look like themselves. Doll play outside of a child’s own lived experience can teach understanding and build a greater sense of empathy, leading to a more accepting world. We are proud to introduce a Barbie doll with Down syndrome to better reflect the world around us and further our commitment to celebrating inclusion through play.”

Three cheers for Barbie in all her diverse attributes, abilities and ambitions, and kudos to those who keep trying to make her world more inclusive and representative of everyone.

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Joy

People love this barber for his sweet approach to cutting a child with Down syndrome's hair

The kiddo loves the "start and stop" game.

via TheBest1Period/TikTok

Vernon Jackson with his buddy Ellison at the Noble Barber and Beauty salon in Cincinnati, Ohio.

It’s a godsend for parents when they can take their kids who have specific needs somewhere they won’t be judged. Parenting a child with disabilities or neurodivergence is hard enough without dealing with the stares, judgment and misunderstandings that can happen in public places.

Haircuts can be especially stressful for children with sensory issues and their parents.

Vernon Jackson, barber and owner of Noble Barber and Beauty salon in Cincinnati, Ohio, understands these families' unique needs. So he opens up his shop one day a month for what he calls "The Gifted Event,” where he welcomes them for a free haircut.

The most common medical conditions he sees are autism, Down syndrome and spina bifida.

Jackson told Today there are a few things that these children worry about in the barber’s chair. Specifically, many don’t like the sound of the clippers and the feeling of hair falling on their skin. “One child told me it feels like needles,” he told Today.

The barber’s sweet approach while giving a haircut to Ellison, a child with Down syndrome, went viral on TikTok, earning over 3 million views. It’s touching because Ellison is all smiles and loves having some control over the stressful situation by telling Jackson when to “stop” and “start” with the clippers.

@thebest1period

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The viral video shows what can happen when a barber has the time to focus on the child as an individual and create an atmosphere where they are comfortable.

“Every child is different and I need to be present with them and meet them in the moment,” Jackson told Today. For Julie Eubanks, Ellison’s mother, who took the heartwarming video, being able to have Jackson cut his hair is a huge relief.

"I'm always in the state of anticipating the worst because you never know with these types of situations with Ellison, or with any kid with special needs, they can turn with a blink of the eye," Eubanks told WLWT. "I was trying to enjoy it and record and peaking my head out of the side of my phone to be like, 'Is this really going on?'"

The commenters on TikTok thought the video was adorable.

"Thank you for having such a kind soul with these precious children that just need a little extra attention in a different way! This is awesome," Jackie Griggs wrote. "Hard to tell who had more fun here. This is great!" Carrie Deal added.

Jackson has set up a GoFundMe where people can donate free haircuts to children with disabilities and he’s received over $17,000 in donations.

“As a barber, I saw the need for a place where children with disabilities are supported during a haircut and an environment where parents or caregivers don't have to explain their child's behavior or apologize for something they may do or say,” Jackson wrote on the GoFundMe page.

It’s incredible that Jackson sets aside time every month so that his business can focus on those who need a little extra love and attention. It’s a beautiful gift to these children and their parents and a wonderful example to share with the rest of the business community.

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