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Culture

Gen Xers and Boomers share outrageous behaviors that used to be considered 'normal'

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday."

Photo by lil artsy/Pexels

Older people are sharing memories of wild behaviors and norms that would be considered "boundary crossing" today

How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.

Culture, social progress, and technology all play a role in how our behaviors evolve. We hope our behavior changes for the better, and sometimes it does, but some folks might disagree and think things were better back in simpler times.

In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.

If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.

Scolding other people's kids (even strangers)

Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.

"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Reprimanding other people's kids in public. Giphy

"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."

"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."

"Kids were basically community property."

People are split on whether this development is ultimately good or bad.

Showing up or dropping by unannounced

Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.

"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."

"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Showing up to someone's house unannounced. Giphy

"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."

"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."

"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."

"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."

People still show up out of nowhere in movies and TV shows, though. Probably because texting isn't quite as cinematic!

Birthday spankings

Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."

"And a pinch to grow an inch."

"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Birthday spankings and punches. Giphy

"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"

"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"

"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"

Later, the birthday spankings evolved in birthday arm punches — again, one for every year. It's really hard to imagine anyone getting away with this in 2025.

Actual spankings. With a paddle. At school.

School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so many names for this woefully outdated practice.

"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."

"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."

"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Corporal punishment in schools. Giphy

"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."

"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."

Shockingly, "corporal punishment" as it's called is still legal in many states and regularly practiced in some private schools.

Smoking indoors everywhere

It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.

"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."

"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."

"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."

"Smoking in class at college."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Smoking indoors. Giphy

"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.

Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."

"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."

The first question a restaurant hostess used to ask you was "Smoking or non-smoking?" if you can believe it.

Sexual harassment

Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.

"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Rampant sexual harassment. Giphy

"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."

" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."

"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."

"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."

Watching old films and TV shows can be a bit cringeworthy for this exact reason. Inappropriate comments and contact at work was often seen as a joke and "just good fun."

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."

gen x, boomers, millennials, gen alpha, gen z, generations, generational differences, culture, etiquette Policing of women's underwear. Giphy

"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."

"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"

"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."

"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."

People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.

You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

generational differences

Culture

Gen X is the 'most stressed' generation but studies show they're also the toughest

The 'Coolest Generation' is dealing with the rigors of middle age with their trademark adaptability.

via Wikimedia Commons

Gen X is the most stressed generation, but also the best equipped to deal with it.

It's official: People are more stressed out than ever. Technology, a wildly unpredictable economy, political division, and changing family dynamics have us all on edge, and it's doing a number on our mental health. But there is one group that, for at least the past decade, seems to be taking on more than their fair share of the stress.

Generation X, people born between 1965 and 1979, are America's goofy middle children sandwiched between the much larger Baby Boomer and Millennial generations — both of whom get a lot more press. Gen X prides itself on being individualistic, nonconformists committed to a D.I.Y. ethic whether that means writing a punk 'zine or launching a tech start-up.

(If you just asked yourself "What's a 'zine?" you're clearly not a member ofGen X.) It's a generation marked by an aloof cool where any personal slight can be written off with a "whatever" and one that's deathly afraid of taking anything too seriously. It's a generation that was so put off by the corporate, commercial culture of the '80s it rebelled by wearing second-hand clothes and ironically embracing low-brow '70s culture.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood Gen Xers are a particularly proud generation. Giphy

It's the generation of hip-hop, Tiger Woods, Quentin Tarrantino, the re-birth of punk rock, John Cusak movies, and Atari. Not a bad resume at all!

A big reason Gen X is so self-reliant is that it's the generation hardest hit by divorce. According to a 2004 marketing study it "went through its all-important, formative years as one of the least parented, least nurtured generations in U.S. history."

Gen X was the first generation that experienced both parents working outside the home. But, unfortunately, at the same time, childcare centers and afterschool programs had not yet emerged to a significant extent. That's why you hear so much folklore about 80s kids being allowed to run feral throughout the neighborhood or even the whole time. This is the "come home when the streetlights come on" generation, and it shows.

Now, the "Coolest Generation" finds itself somewhere between 42 and 56 and is hitting middle age. Unfortunately, that means it's now the most stressed generation in America.

Although, in true Gen X fashion, many refuse to let anyone see they're stressed.

An extensive study by Penn State showed that stress began to hit Gen X sometime in the last decade. The 2012 study discovered that Gen X had an average stress level of 5.8 (out of ten) while Millennials (3.4) and Baby Boomers (4.4) were a lot calmer.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood For such a chill group of people, Gen X has to deal with a lot.Eric Nopanen/Unsplash

It's not just the anxieties of hitting middle age. An even more recent study shows that the trend hasn't changed in the last decade as all of the generations have aged. In 2021, 22% of Gen Xers admitted to daily struggles with stress followed by Millennials (17%), Gen Z (14%), and Baby Boomers (8%).

The APA's Stress in America Report from 2023 indicates that Gen Z may be coming for the throne soon, though, with major financial and loneliness issues weighing them down.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood Watch and learn, Gen Z. Giphy

A big reason for the stress is having to take care of multiple generations. Many Gen Xers have to care for their aging parents as well as their children who are just starting to make their way in a world that's become much harder to afford. And that's to say nothing of Gen X's own money worries. Even though they're starting to reach retirement age, many members of the generation are woefully far away from having enough money saved up. One estimate says the average Gen Xer is about $400,000 short of what they'd need to comfortably retire. Talk about a stressor!

Gen X may have aged its way into the most stressful part of its life, but things could be a lot worse. There's no group of people better equipped to deal with stress.

When executives at Nike studied Gen X it found the generation's hallmarks are "flexibility," "innovation," and "adaptability." "They have developed strong survival skills and the ability to handle anything that comes their way," the study says.

Gen Xers may think that's just a bunch of corporate B.S. However, it's true. Gen X grew up during the AIDS epidemic, the end of the Cold War, the Challenger disaster, the late '80s and early '90s crime wave, 9/11, the Great Recession, COVID-19, and managed to survive after "My So-Called Life" was canceled.

gen x, gen z, millennials, generations, generational differences, culture, 1980s, 1970s, 1990s, childhood, adulthood It was a very sad day when "My So-Called Life" was pulled off the air. Giphy

We've survived tough times and we'll make it through these as well. Just got to follow the advice of Gen X's poet laureate, Tupac Shakur: "And it's crazy, it seems it'll never let up, but please, you got to keep your head up."

We can also look forward to grabbing a big box of popcorn and enjoying the massive Millennial meltdown that happens when they hit middle age. It's not going to be pretty.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

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Modern Families

Millennials share their boomer parents’ 15 odd (and hilarious) habits they just don't get

Secretly, they are the most smartphone-addicted generation.

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents and grandparents sure do have some interesting habits.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix, while the grandparents get frustrated when their adult children don't know how to do basic homemaking and maintenance tasks. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach, which leads to a ton of conflict within families.

A Redditor recently asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating.

The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Baby boomers are a fascinating and endearing group. Giphy

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millennials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

You know the old saying: Is she really a grandma if she doesn't rinse out used plastic baggies to save for later?

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor An average boomer's basement. Photo by Tania Melnyczuk on Unsplash

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"

It's true, generations have been battling over tone and punctuation in texts for years.

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love to scare their adult children with dramatic texts. Giphy

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love to talk about random people who have died, and large-scale tragedies. Giphy

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

And, in general, they have more money and time to make it happen! But they often insist on being homebodies, to their own chagrin.

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor Boomers love staying at home for no good reason. Giphy

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor If it can't be held in their hand, they don't trust it. Giphy

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

This has to be one of the more endearing things the boomers do. Please never stop.

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

They also love to stock up on and freeze certain staples, even milk.

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They'll keep food for way, way too long. Giphy

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

It's not the Gen Alpha kids keeping Bejewled in business!

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They still hold onto outdated gender stereotypes. Photo by Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor This is the generation that invented TV as background noise. Giphy

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

There's nothing quite like the thrill a boomer gets from relentlessly tracking every movement of an oncoming storm that will probably amount to some rain and little else.

boomers, millennials, generations, grandparents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, 90s, 2000s, technology, humor They love intensely tracking a thunderstorm via The Weather Channel Giphy

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

It all makes you wonder what new conflicts will pop up when the millennials become grandparents, and the Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids are the ones doing the griping. Probably that millennials will continue to insist on Googling things when traditional search engines have long been replaced, or that the 90s and 2000s kids will never stop listening to Lil Jon-era hip hop, no matter how old they get and how inappropriate it becomes.

Guess we'll see. Stay tuned!

This story originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

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Mental Health

Woman discovers trick to instantly feel better about how you look in photos: 'ZOOM OUT I beg'

"I promise you’ll look back at those photos ... and see the bigger picture."

Canva Photos

25-year-old woman urges people to stop zooming in on photos.

Millennials in the early 2000s were really enjoying the perks of digital photos and cameras, which were relatively new at the time. I know, it's hard to imagine. We had small, physical cameras with memory cards that we'd carry around with us on a night out, even just to the bar. We would take photos all night—hundreds and hundreds of them. They were blurry, poorly lit, and candid. People were always making awkward faces in the background or being shown at unflattering angles.

We didn't care. We posted every single one of them to a Facebook album, tagged our friends, and let them live there permanently. Can you imagine?!

Things work a little differently now. Our online lives are a lot more curated. We don't post every photo we take, and in fact, all of us intuitively utilize a careful vetting process when we take group pictures or selfies. We snap the pic, or a few, and immediately go to look how it turned out. If it doesn't meet the standards of how we want ourselves to look in a public facing photo, it doesn't get posted. Worse, it might be deleted on the spot, the memory of that moment vanishing forever.

body image, selfies, photography, photos, body positivity, self esteem, self worth, psychology, technology Take me back to when we hardly cared what we looked like in selfies. Giphy

25-year-old Emma-Kirsty Fraser has a theory on why we seem to be so much more selective, even flat out disgusted, with pictures of ourselves these days: It's the damn zoom.

In a recent Instagram reel, Fraser posted a photo of herself as the camera zoomed in the parts of her body she tends to over-examine in photos: Her arms, chin, midsection, and legs.

"Image the brainwashing required to get us to see this," she says as the camera bounces around to all the most self-critiqued parts of her body. "Instead of this!"

The camera then cuts to the full photo, of Fraser laughing and chatting with friends. It's a fun and beautiful moment, full of life. It captures a moment in time, friendship, love, and joy. No one in their right mind would see the photo and have any thoughts whatsoever about the shape of her chin or the size of her arms. But we've all been conditioned to hyper-analyze every pixel when it comes to our own body and how we think we come across in photos.

"ZOOM OUT I beg ... I think it’s quite terrifying when you realise how much brainwashing it took to get you to zoom in and criticise yourself in so much detail? Like if you showed 8 year old Emma a photo of herself there’s no way she would zoom in," Fraser captioned the post.

"There is so much more to life than the way your body looks and I promise you’ll look back at those photos (because you’re not going to delete them anymore!!!) and see the bigger picture, not your skin/body/blemishes."

See on Instagram

Believe it or not, "pinch zooming" in on photos is a relatively new phenomenon that cropped up within the last 20 years.

Most experts credit (or blame, depending on your point of view) the iPhone with innovating and popularizing the feature around 2007. In a few years, it was available on Android phones as well. It didn't take long from there for us to ditch our Nikon Coolpix cameras and start exclusively taking photographs on our phones, quickly learning that we could spot and delete our double-chin moments before anyone saw them.

(Smartphones with cameras officially overtook digital cameras around 2007 but didn't become completely ubiquitous until about 2012-2013.)

The world, and our body image, was never the same.

body image, selfies, photography, photos, body positivity, self esteem, self worth, psychology, technology Resist the urge to zoom in on your most sensitive features. Photo by Antoine Beauvillain on Unsplash

Fraser's post went viral, racking up 30,000 Likes on Instagram and over three million views.

Commenters were so grateful for the message they so desperately needed to hear:

"the fact i saw this picture and ONLY thought about how it was such a beautiful candid & captured your vibe perfectly"

"At first ... I saw nothing wrong with her. But if this was a photo of ME, tell why would I suddenly see all the flaws?"

"At first, I thought we were talking about the tattoos, the accessories, etc. because I saw nothing wrong with her. But if this was a photo of ME, tell why would I suddenly see all the flaws?"

"I'm 41, I still really REALLY struggle with this, I zoom in on every photo and criticise every flaw and a "bad" photo can bring down my body image for days. But I've started refusing to delete and coming back to photos after a day or so and slowly I'm learning to realise they often aren't as "bad" as my initial reaction would suggest."

"I struggled to see what you were talking about but then I imagined if it was me and I could see what might be perceived as issues. Kinda sad."

Fraser's words really struck a nerve, and she managed to capture a feeling and phenomenon that we all intuitively understand but rarely talk about.

When we look at photos of others, we see the big picture. We see their smile and the emotion of the photo, we take in the moment. We don't nitpick. So why do we do it to ourselves?

Body image and pressure to look "perfect" is about as bad, or worse, than its ever been—in part because the online world is so heavily curated. Real people are quieter and harder to find on social media, and instead we see more and more perfect-looking influencers and celebrities. Photos are easy to edit, touch up, or apply filters to. The real, blurry, awkward photos of the early 2000s are gone and probably never coming back.

But we can fight back in one very simple way. Just zoom out. Don't inspect your belly, your smile, or whatever your perceived flaws are. Enjoy the picture for what it is, a snapshot of a moment in time. Try to view it like a stranger would. And, for the love of God, don't be so quick to delete the memories that you can't get back.

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Music

Legendary 2000s pop punk band fights the ticket monopoly with throwback 'house party' tour

The "dirty little secret" is that young people don't remember when buying concert tickets didn't suck.

Canva Photos & By Arisara from U.S.A. - AARUploaded by Cptnono, CC BY 2.0,

The All-American Rejects are ditching stadiums and playing house parties again.

I don't know if it's just because the memories are hazy or because times really were simpler, but I remember an era where you could discover that your favorite artist was touring near you, go buy tickets, and attend the concert. It was that simple to have a great time. Tickets were never that cheap, but could be affordable if you were willing to sit in general admission, lawn, or nosebleed seats. And as long as you didn't wait until the last last last minute, you could usually get seats to most shows.

If you've seen a live concert any time in the last few years, you know that experience is a relic of the past. Instead, even for artists with mid-level popularity, you'll be prompted to join an online "Pre-sale" that starts at a specific time, get thrust into a "Waiting Room" with thousands of other people, and spend hours watching the page to discover that all the tickets have long since sold out. Your only choice, then, is to buy them on re-sale where, surprise surprise, they cost three to five times their face value...or more.

The average concert ticket has gone from $91.86 in 2019 to $135.92 in just a few years. In the 90s, the average ticket cost $25.81, or the equivalent of about $51 adjusting for inflation. That's a staggering increase. And while there were always scalpers, large-scale bots and software help scam resellers scoop up tickets at an absurd volume, making the experience miserable for everyone else. And then there are the fees and service charges, which often add on another 50% to the ticket price.

One of your favorite pop punks bands from the 2000s has had enough, so they're going old-school for the latest tour.

Remember the All-American Rejects? They were huge in the early 2000s with mega hits like "Swing, Swing," "Move Along," "Dirty Little Secret," and more.

You probably haven't heard too much about them for the last decade or so, but they've been plenty busy playing the hits and working on new material. In fact, pop punk has been experiencing something of a renaissance the last few years. Bands like Yellowcard are suddenly more popular than ever.

The All-American Rejects aren't about to let all this genre-momentum go to waste, but instead of trying to sell out the biggest venues possible, they're going back to their roots with a "house party tour."

@freshest.avacado
The All American Rejects at girlhouse in Nashville, TN. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #allamericanrejects

With a simple online form, fans can request that the band come to their area, or to their party!

From there, all the shows are secret "pop up" concerts—where the location isn't announced in advance, only texted to fans who've signed up with little warning.

The results are pretty epic. Clips of the secret shows are popping up all over social media and they're overflowing with energy and passion and a shared love of live music. No processing fees necessary. As an old-head myself, it's also pretty awesome to see a younger generation getting introduced to the angst-ridden beauty of pop punk. In my opinion, kids today have way too many songs about love and sex and not nearly enough about not fitting in and feeling like a loser. That is a crucial feeling in a young person's development!

@allamericanrejects_clips
Can you imagine being THIS close to The All American Rejects at a pop-up show?! @All-American Rejects #aar #theallamericanrejects #punkmusic #popupconcert #livemusic #fyp

Rejects front man Tyson Ritter says the band wanted to push back against the modern shell-game of filling concert venues.

In an interview with Vulture, he explains that not-only is ticket scalping and the massive reseller market a big problem, but even big-name artists are filling arenas with less-than-legit sales:

"The first 25 percent of the arena gets sold from people buying $300 tickets, and they don’t even know that the local promoter is getting hundreds of free tickets to fill the rest of the venue. I can’t believe that’s not something people don’t put a class-action suit against, because it seems to be robbery. If I sold you a sandwich for $100 so I could give away my last sandwich to a guy on the street, then why did I pay $100 for that sandwich, man? Just give me a $5 sandwich and let’s all eat together."

He says the idea for a house party tour came from the band wanting to rediscover their love for the music as they hit middle-age, and wanting to go back to what captured their hearts in the beginning.

@christianrlocke
The energy was insane at @All-American Rejects house party #theallamericanrejects

"The spirit of where we started was we were four kids that weren’t cool and got to play at a high-school party. And that night [at our first pop up show], we felt cool. Kind of like when kids would pass a tip jar around for us to be able to pay for gas to get there and back. So after that night, we all put our heads together to see what would be possible."

It's not the first time artists have been fed up with the "ticket monopoly."

Pearl Jam famously demand that venues keep charges to under $20 for their 1994 tour. When venues turned them down, Pearl Jam made a complaint with the justice department. In the 2000s, The String Cheese Incident tried lots of creative methods to sell direct-to-fan tickets. But most artists who have rebelled against the monopoly have run into the stark fact that Ticketmaster and Live Nation have unprecedented control over what music venues can and can't do.

But you know what ticketing companies can't control? A backyard, a keg of beer, and a couple dozen rowdy young people. That's the spirit of early punk rock and pop punk. It only makes sense that one of the genre's iconic bands would be leading yet another charge against The Man.

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Humor

Witty millennials share the secret reasons they look younger than other generations

It was all those Flintstones vitamins, for sure.

Canva Photos & Mike Mozart/Flickr & Carla Lewis/Flickr & Shelley/Flickr

Why do millennials look younger than other generations?

It's a well-noted phenomenon that people used to look, well, older. Millennials, in particular, seem to be hyper-aware of this strange occurrence. When we think of the movie and TV stars of our youth, for example, we're often stunned to learn how old they were. Al Bundy from Married With Children is a spry 39 years old when the series starts. George Costanza is a mere 29 when Seinfeld begins. The entire cast of Cheers was in their 30s for most of the run, with Kelsey Grammer being just 28 in his first appearance on the show. We could have all sworn up and down these people were well into their 40s!

But no. Our shocking inability to accurately determine the ages of people outside our generation definitely begs a self-serving and tongue-firmly-in-cheek question: Are millennials just aging absolutely phenomenally?

Kristen, a "proud millennial" on TikTok, thinks so. In a recent video, she posed the question to her followers: Why do millennials look so young?

"I have a question for millennials. What do you guys think we did right growing up that we look young?"

Anticipating the reaction to her question, she immediately scoffs. "Don't even look at me like that! Don't even lie to yourself! Look at us!" She asserts that millennials look younger than Gen Z, or at least the same age, despite being quite a bit older. "Do you guys think it was the tanning beds? Or the hot pockets we used to eat?"

Watch the hilariously tongue-in-cheek video here:

@krisalmasan
Millennials 🫶🏻 #millennialsoftiktok #fyp

Kristen may have had the guts to say it out loud, but she's definitely not the only one thinking it. Her video racked up over a million views and people were chomping at the bit to chime in with their own theories on why millennials are aging like fine wine.

Some say it was the things we ate, or the less-than-ideal products we used on our body at the time:

"We took Flintstones vitamins"

millennials, gen x, gen z, aging, health, beauty, generations, flintstones Yabba dabba doo!Giphy

"It was the apricot scrub"

"It's all the preservatives we ate in our food. We're pick[l]ed,"

"Slathered ourselves in Bath and Body Works Cucumber Melon daily"

"Oxy pads"

"It's all the preservatives in the lunchables we ate every day"

Some say it's because we grew and aged au naturale:

"We didn't start Botox at 19"

"We didn't have 12 step skincare routines when we were 10"

"We look younger than Gen Z because we didn't inject tons of filler in our faces when we were 22"

millennials, gen x, gen z, aging, health, beauty, generations, skincare Gen Alpha is obsessed with SephoraGiphy

Maybe it was something less tangible and more spiritual:

"We just tell ourselves we are still babies and our cells believe us"

"Laughter. Generations before us were too serious. Gen z is too afraid of being cringe"

"It was because we reposted those long threads on MySpace and god blessed us for it ✨"

"It was forwarding the chain mail"

"Gen z wanted to grow up so fast and we wanted to stay young."

Or maybe we're just less stressed and anxious than the generation that's growing up now (which says a lot, because we are pretty darned stressed and anxious)

millennials, gen x, gen z, aging, health, beauty, generations Millennials to every other generation: "Breathe, calm down"Giphy

"We didn’t have social media in middle school. I swear it’s that"

"Unlike Gen Z we weren’t up in everyone else’s business and stressing over stuff that doesn’t affect us at all. We weren’t offended by everything"

Whatever it is, there's definitely something to this phenomenon. It's been noted even by experts (not just hilarious TikTok commenters). One possible explanation is that millennials came of age right when we, as a culture, realized the importance of sunscreen and proper hydration. The theory that using makeup and skincare from too young of an age might end up being bad for your skin in the long run may actually hold some water, as well.

Simply put, millennials had the luxury of learning from the mistakes made by Gen X and Boomers. It's definitely possible that, at scale, cultural differences in how we were raised and how we approached health and wellness as we grew up have led to major differences between generations.

Personally, though, I think Lunchables and high-energy sodas like Surge and Jolt had medicinal properties that provided us with an extra burst of youth. But we'll probably never know for sure.

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Pop Culture

Millennial shares her spot on theory about why Gen Z 'romanticizes' the early 2010s

Here's why she dubbed it the "last era of sweet delusion."

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A still from HBO's 'Girls'

Travel back in time to 2010. For millennials entering adulthood, this meant navigating through challenges like the aftermath of the Great Recession, getting their first taste of student loan debt, and becoming increasingly vocal about social and political issues.

But 2010 also ushered in new and novel technologies, like the iPad and Instagram (granted, we might be a little jaded towards these things now, but back then, it felt like the dawning of the golden age). And let’s not forget it brought us some pretty epic pop culture moments: Lady Gaga’s famous meat dress, Kathryn Bigelow becoming the first woman to win best director at the Oscars for The Hurt Locker, the ending of Lost (!), just to name a few. That’s all without taking into account the hope many people felt as Barrack Obama entered his second term.

Point being—even with the not-so-great stuff happening, there were reasons to feel, as 36-year-old Chelsea Fagan puts it, “an ambient level of optimism about the future.” And she theorizes that it’s this feeling Gen Zers long for when they “romanticize” this time period.

Obama Biden GIFfrom Obama GIFs

In a video posted to her Instagram, she really painted the scene of her own experience as a 20-something entering the workforce—oat milk latte in hand, dodging folks on fixie bikes as Passion Pit’s “Sleepy Head” played on full blast, walking into an open space office with industrial lighting and exposed brick to perform her full time gig writing listicles, and, like other millennials, thinking she had “made it.”

“And I really feel for Gen Z,” she said, “that they never got to enjoy that period of just collective delusion, because it was not long for this world.”

See on Instagram

"There's just so many ways in which life is more difficult and less hopeful for young people now than it was for millennials,” she would later tell Newsweek. “Even coming out of the recession, I think being in the Obama administration felt very different.”

In the same interview, she surmised that a major culprit behind this longing is our current relationship with technology, which has gone from wonder and interest to codependency.

"We weren't living on social media as much. I think people were more present, living the life that young people today don't get to enjoy as much. There's more anxiety and self-awareness because everything is so performative now."

So far, the reaction to Fagan’s video has been…palpable. By and large, fellow millennials could recall similar sentiments, particularly on the economy and tech front.

“The stock market was growing, jobs were surging, and while affordability wasn’t as good as when we were kids, it wasn’t crushing like it is today. The Affordable Care Act was brand new and still immensely powerful.”

“We were fresh post recession, deep in debt, and YET life was more affordable.”

Happy Birthday Hbd GIFfrom Happy Birthday GIFs

“It was magical. We just had nothing to lose. There were no jobs and our college degrees were useless, but there was also hope that the world WAS becoming a better place. There was a yearning for a simpler time but in a wholesome way, not an alt right way. The lack of opportunities for ‘real jobs’ allowed people to be creative. And we lived an extended childhood because, why not?”

“The internet still seemed positive and hopeful, and not yet soul crushing and exploitative..”

“I miss when the Internet was fun. When chatrooms and games and fun little websites were a great way to learn and play and even meet others.”

Of course, as few pointed out, even this perspective wasn’t necessarily shared by all, especially those who didn’t come from a middle/upper class background. But the point its, it’s understandable that younger generations might envy the positive future-gazing associated with the era.

Interestingly enough, according to data from the Edelman Trust Barometer Special Report: Trust at Work, a pessimistic outlook mostly belongs to younger Gen-Zs, while the oldest Gen-Zs are incredibly optimistic. If you look elsewhere, you’ll see that, contrary to popular opinion, a majority of Gen Zers actually do believe they can achieve their goals. So, one could argue that while they don’t have that Millennial brand of optimism, it still shows up in its own way. After all, no matter what generation you hail from, aren’t our 20s all about having a “the world sucks, but I’m gonna make it” kind of attitude?

Our 30s on the other hand…that’s a different vibe entirely.

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