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She worked with the civil rights movement in 1964. Here’s her truth now.

I reached out to a civil rights movement veteran expecting to get some nice quotes about hope; what I got was so much better.

Shaun King, a professor and leader in the modern movement for racial justice, said in a Facebook post:

“If you EVER wondered who you would be or what you would do if you lived during the Civil Rights Movement, stop. You are living in that time, RIGHT NOW.”


Image of Black Lives Matter protest in Missouri via Jarred Gastreich, used with permission.

I have definitely wondered that. Who would I be if I had been born then? I needed to get some advice for how to move forward today, as the civil rights movement continues.

I found Jane Adams of Carbondale, Illinois, on the website Civil Rights Movement Veterans.

White mob marching in Little Rock, Arkansas. Photo by John T. Bledsoe/Library of Congress/Flickr.

The site is a magical treasure trove of our country’s wisdom. Each person on the site — and there are hundreds — has written a letter, a testimonial about their time fighting in the civil rights movement. Jane Adams was at the very top of the list on the front page of the site.

Jane participated in the Freedom Summer of 1964 and ’65.

Jane was a white teenager who saw injustice, didn’t like it, and tried to help. I’m not a teenager, but I am white. I’m in that boat, too, so her story stuck out to me.

Her parents were back-to-the-land folks from Chicago. Her dad bought a farm in the 1950s and worked for the unemployment office in Carbondale — a part of Illinois that’s closer to Kentucky than Chicago. Despite her parents’ more Bohemian origins (at least by the standards of Southern Illinois), she was mostly raised on a farm there, one of the only homes to have running water at the time it was built.

The Freedom Summer was a tactical moment in the civil rights movement that recruited hundreds of white students from the North to come to Mississippi for a summer, and Jane was part of that group.

Jane’s story was fascinating to me for many reasons.

First, here is an excerpt of what she said about her time in Mississippi on the Civil Rights Movement Veteran website:

“I went to Mississippi with Freedom Summer and was assigned to Harmony Community in Leake County, working on Federal Programs. …

The work changed my life. It was far more important to me than anything I — a naive youngster — contributed. As Bernice Reagon said, ‘I was reborn in the Civil Rights Movement.’ I learned, more than anything, that people make history. I saw heroism that I could never have imagined, and a sense of hope that infused people who had lived all their lives with the degradation of white supremacy. I also saw what is probably the most important kind of leadership — that at the level of communities, where people have to confront and deal with the people who make their day-to-day lives possible.”

I was intrigued, so I called Jane to learn more.

As it turns out, she had a lot to say about growing up, her civil rights work and the work of today’s civil rights leaders.

She told me that her summer in Mississippi was a violent summer. Three participants were killed. But that was part of the deal.

“We were shipped in. We all knew, if a white person got beat up, a white person from a good family with connections to legislators, that had a lot more impact than a black field hand who didn’t know anyone connected to power,” she said. “We were brought down because we could awaken the consciousness of a nation … hopefully and get Congress to act.”

Civil rights activist Priscilla Stephens being arrested in 1961, in Florida. Image via State Archives of Florida/Florida Memory/Flickr.

“As Bernice Reagon said, ‘I was reborn in the Civil Rights Movement.’”

I asked Jane what she thought of all that’s happening today with Black Lives Matter and with just “the world today” in general.

I was expecting some encouraging, hopeful quotes. But what I got instead was a challenge.

Civil rights movement boycott and picketing of downtown Tallahassee in 1960. Image via State Archives of Florida/Florida Memory/Flickr.

She challenged me, and anyone interested in participating in social change, to watch out for what she called “the politics of grievance” — a fight for political change based solely upon the hardships a group has faced — and to always find something to fight for, even when you’re fighting against so much.

“There was a positive thing that people were fighting for,” she said, “that people were willing to risk their lives for. Fighting for the right to vote, the right to hold jobs, the right to go to school … the right to be treated like an equal person.”

Jane reminded me there’s a wonderful banality to the dream of equality.

Humans just want to be treated like humans. Black lives should matter. It’s almost boring because it’s so obvious — it’s often not shiny, but it is important.

The 1963 march on Washington. Photo by Rowland Scherman/U.S. National Archives/Flickr.

The last story Jane told me really captured the delightful banality of living in a just world:

While wandering around a protest in Ferguson, Missouri, she says a young guy asked her husband to take a photo. Jane’s husband did, and that was that. She told me it was a normal, everyday moment, but for Jane, a white person in a predominantly black crowd, it was really significant.

For her, it was a moment where everyone, in a crowd supposedly fraught with racial tensions, was just treating each other as humans. Unremarkable humans.

“We got giddy over it!” she remembers. “Like ‘Wow, this is what we fought for. This is what we put our lives on the line for. To be in a place where we could just be.’ That’s what we were fighting for.”

A Black Lives Matter protestor in Brooklyn in July 2016. Image via lolololori/Instagram.

Jane reminded me that I can’t just be mad if I really want to inspire others and even myself.

Instead, I have to find something worth fighting FOR, not just against. Yeah, it’s kind of obvious, but it also cracked my mind open in the best way.

I hope that y’all can find someone to talk to when America’s path to justice gets bumpy (tragically bumpy), like it has lately. For me the Civil Rights Movement Veterans website was the perfect place to start finding inspiration about how to take steps forward.

  • Artemis II pilot delivered an impromptu Easter message we all need to hear
    Photo credit: NASA Johnson/YouTubeThe crew of Artemis II.
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    Artemis II pilot delivered an impromptu Easter message we all need to hear

    It’s resonating with people of all faiths, and even those with no faith.

    The four astronauts on the Artemis II NASA mission have broken a 55-year-old record, traveling farther into space than any human has gone before. Every human milestone is significant, and an Easter message from the mission’s pilot, Victor Glover, reminds us why.

    Speaking with the astronauts, a CBS News reporter noted that the Apollo 8 crew delivered a Christmas Eve message during their 1968 mission. He asked whether the Artemis II crew had a message to share for Easter. When the microphone floated to Glover, he said he hadn’t prepared anything, but offered some impromptu thoughts:

    “We are the same thing”

    “I think these observances are important, as we are so far from Earth and looking back at the beauty of creation. I think for me, one of the really important personal perspectives that I have up here is I can really see Earth as one thing.

    And you know, when I read the Bible, and I look at all of the amazing things that were done for us, who we’re created, it’s…you have this amazing place, this spaceship. You guys are talking to us because we’re in a spaceship really far from Earth. But you’re on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe, in the cosmos.

    Maybe the distance we are from you makes you think what we’re doing is special. But we’re the same distance from you, and I’m trying to tell you—just trust me—you are special. In all of this emptiness—this is a whole bunch of nothing, this thing we call the universe—you have this oasis, this beautiful place that we get to exist together.

    I think as we go into Easter Sunday, thinking about all the cultures all around the world, whether you celebrate it or not, whether you believe in God or not, this is an opportunity for us to remember where we are, who we are, and that we are the same thing, and that we got to get through this together.”

    @corybooker

    This is beautiful. op: keithdmedia via IG

    ♬ original sound – Cory

    People of all faiths—and no faith—appreciated the message

    Commenters appreciated Glover’s perspective as he looked out at all 8 billion of us on our beautiful “pale blue dot.”

    “One of the most beautiful perspectives I’ve ever heard on this topic. Thank you Victor.”

    “Beautiful unifying message.”

    “I am not a religious person at all but this speech made me cry.”

    “It gave me chills. What a beautiful message.”

    “As someone who’s not religious this is the perfect message conveyed by someone of faith without feeling unwarranted or preaching in a way that doesn’t land. Delivered perfectly and I respect him for that.”

    “What a beautiful sentiment we all so desperately need to hear.”

    Glover’s remarks reflect what others who have viewed Earth from space have said. The emotional experience of that perspective, known as the “overview effect,” often results in a profound awareness of humanity’s place in the universe.

    The “overview effect” is a common experience for people who see Earth from space

    For Star Trek actor William Shatner, who went to space at age 90 in 2021, that awareness gave him a surprising feeling of deep grief.

    “It was the death that I saw in space and the lifeforce that I saw coming from the planet — the blue, the beige and the white,” he said. “And I realized one was death and the other was life.”

    Earth and life are “so fragile,” Shatner said. “We hang by a thread…we’re just dangling.” Seeing humanity from that distance put conflicts between humans into perspective. “We’re entangled with each other,” he said. “We have a war…the stupidity of it all is so obvious.”

    Frank White, the space philosopher who coined the term “overview effect” in his 1987 book of the same name, wrote that astronauts who leave Earth generally come back with “a greater distaste for war and violence, and a desire to do something to improve life back on the surface, because they’ve seen the truth of our situation.”

    Space travel highlights our shared humanity

    When Glover referred to Earth as a spaceship, he wasn’t just being metaphorical. Our planet is a self-contained, closed-loop system, meaning its resources are produced and recycled here. And we are hurtling through space at about 67,100 miles per hour—much faster than any spacecraft we’ve sent into space. For all intents and purposes, we are traveling together on a giant, round spaceship.

    The universe is vast, yet it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the little details of life on our planetary ship. Zooming out—seeing Earth from a distance—can help us view ourselves and our lives in a different light. Seeing our home, our people, our lives as one has the power to change something within us. It’s a potent reminder that, for all our uniqueness, we really are one.

    Watch the highlights from Day 4 of the Artemis II mission:

  • What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?
    Photo credit: CanvaOnce you know about these sites, you'll wonder what you did without them.
    ,

    What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?

    10 of the Internet’s best places, from image editors to background noise customizers.

    Despite the massive amount of time we spend on the Internet, if we’re honest with ourselves, we bounce between the same five or six websites every single day. Which is fine! But living like that makes it easy to forget how vast and weird the Internet can be. There are dozens (if not hundreds) of sites out there that are truly useful little gems that make you feel like you’ve discovered some kind of cyber secret. These are the kinds of websites you bookmark immediately.

    Luckily, Reddit made discovering these Internet gems much simpler. User @powerfulsites posed the following question: “What’s the most powerfully useful underground website that most people don’t know about?”

    underground, website, internet, reddit, screenshot
    Photo credit: RedditScreenshot of Reddit.

    And the Internet responded in droves. (Guess the Internet enjoys talking about itself.) We grabbed 10 of the best, most wonderful recommendations, from powerful image editors to science-backed white noise generators. And once you know about them, you’ll wonder how you got along without them.

    Project Gutenberg

    underground, website, internet, project, gutenberg
    Screenshot of Project Gutenberg.

    In 1971, a college student named Michael Hart typed out the Declaration of Independence on a university computer and uploaded it for anyone to download. It was free forever, and that small act of Internet generosity became the foundation for Project Gutenberg (PG). More than 50 years later, PG has grown into an incredible library of over 78,000 free eBooks in 60+ languages. Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley; Jane Austen’s Pride and PrejudiceCrime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

    Every classic you can think of, available in seconds, at no cost.

    Google Scholar

    underground, website, internet, google, scholar
    Screenshot of Google Scholar.

    You know that annoying, nagging feeling when you’re reading through an article that references a new study (about Internet addiction, or candy consumption, or why people feel the need to buy those AMC popcorn buckets at ridiculous prices) and you wish you could see the actual data? Google Scholar fixes that. It’s a free search engine for academic papers, journal articles, and dissertations—over 160 million documents—that anyone can use, no university login required. Just type your question and find out what scientists actually found. It’s a superpower most people don’t know they have access to.

    Etymology Online

    underground, website, internet, etymology, online
    Photo credit: Etymology OnlineScreenshot of Etymology Online.

    Did you know “disaster” literally means “bad star”? Or that “salary” comes from the Latin word for salt? Douglas Harper spent years building Etymology Online, a free dictionary of over 50,000 word origins, to provide information just like this to the masses. Here, you can trace the origins of modern English words back to their ancient roots. It’s the kind of site where you look up one word and resurface forty-five minutes later, cognizant of the terrifying origin of the word “nightmare.” You’re welcome.

    Rainy Cafe

    underground, website, internet, rainy, cafe
    Screenshot of Rainy Cafe.

    Science confirmed what coffee shop regulars always knew: a moderate level of ambient noise makes you more creative. Rainy Cafe bottles that affect into two sliders: one for café sounds, one for rain. Blend them to your taste and get to work. No ads, no account, no upsell. Writers and remote workers have been quietly using it for years.

    Remove.bg

    underground, website, internet, remove, background
    Screenshot of remove.bg

    Removing a background from a photo used to require Photoshop skills or a graphic designer friend. And something called a “lasso tool”? Now it takes about five seconds. Drop your image into Remove.bg, and its AI cleanly cuts the background out, including tricky edges like hair and fur, then hands it right back to you. The site processes over 150 million images a month, which is, like, so many images. It feels almost like cheating.

    Booky.io

    underground, website, internet, booky, io
    Screenshot of Booky.io

    Browser bookmarks are where good intentions go to die. Everyone has hundreds of them. Nobody can find anything, no matter how many late-night sessions you spend obsessively reorganizing them. Skip the hassle and head to Booky.io, a clean, private bookmark manager with color-coded collections you can navigate with ease. Works on every device, has a browser extension, and—crucially—doesn’t track you or sell your data.

    Explore.org

    underground, website, internet, explore, nature
    Screenshot of Explore.org

    Right now, Sandhill Cranes might be gathering on the banks of Audubon’s Rowe Sanctuary in central Nebraska. Or cute, playful kittens are playing together at Los Angeles’ Kitten Rescue Sanctuary. A bald eagle in Iowa might be feeding her chicks. The best part? You can watch all of it live, free, and uninterrupted on Explore.org, the world’s largest network of live nature cams. There are more than 150 live cameras. No narration, no editing. Just the wild world doing its thing in real time. The most peaceful tab you’ll ever have open.

    Clear Dark Sky Charts

    underground, website, internet, clear, skies
    Screenshot of Clear Dark Sky Charts.

    Amateur astronomers and star enthusiasts have a very specific weather problem: “Is it going to be clear enough tonight?” Unfortunately, regular forecasts don’t answer that. But Clear Dark Sky Charts does. This beautifully nerdy site delivers hour-by-hour predictions for cloud cover, transparency, and atmospheric “seeing” for over 6,100 locations across North America. If you’ve ever wanted to stargaze but never knew when to try, start here.

    IMSLP

    underground, website, internet, music, library
    Screenshot of the International Music Score Library Project.

    Sheet music is expensive. Buying a tuba, even if it’s used and from eBay, is expensive. IMSLP is not. The International Music Score Library Project hosts over 855,000 free, public-domain scores—you’ll find Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, and thousands more—that any musician or music lover can download instantly. Before this site existed, tracking down a rare orchestral score meant haunting university libraries. Now it’s three clicks away.

    Lissa Explains It All

    underground, website, internet, lissa, explainer
    Screenshot of Lissa Explains It All.

    In 1997, an 11-year-old in Orlando named Alyssa had trouble remembering HTML codes. So, she built a website to keep track of them…and accidentally became one of the Internet’s first teachers. By her early teens, her site had 500,000 monthly visitors. Lissa Explains It All is still live, still free, and still one of the warmest places on the Internet to learn the basics of building a webpage.

    In conclusion…

    The Internet is bigger, stranger, and more generous than the algorithm usually shows you. These 10 sites are proof. Bookmark them. (Or, use Booky.io!) Enjoy the feeling of having found something genuinely worth finding.

  • Doctor warns Boomers’ screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms
    Photo credit: CanvaDoctor warns Boomers' screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms
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    Doctor warns Boomers’ screen time habits may be mimicking dementia symptoms

    Excessive screen time for adults can cause “digital dementia.”

    Millennials have noticed a problem with their Boomer parents’ phone addiction, and they’re calling it out. At first, it seemed like harmless teasing about role reversal, but their excessive screen time just might be an issue. Dr. Sue Varma, Board Certified Psychiatrist, reveals the risks related to increased screen time in adults.

    The negative effects of too much screen time have been discussed ad nauseam when it comes to children and teens. However, rarely talked about is the cognitive impact it has on adults of all ages. Given that Boomers have reached senior status, cognitive lapses are already a heightened concern for many.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly woman smiling at phone
    Photo Credit: Canva

    It turns out that screens might be mimicking a serious issue. This can create concern and anxiety for Boomers and their children. The psychiatrist joined the CBS Mornings co-hosts for a candid chat about the research on screen time.

    When discussing the impacts of screen time on adults, Varma drops a bombshell, saying, “We end up getting something called digital dementia or digital fog, where the symptoms of poor attention span, memory, concentration all go down, and it very much mimics a real dementia where you walk into a room and you’re like ‘why am I here, what did I come for, where are my keys?’ The tip of the tongue feeling, like there’s a word, there’s a name, ‘I know that person, I can picture them in my head,’ and the word doesn’t come to mind.”

    Researchers Rinanda Shaleha and Nelson Roque from the Pennsylvania State University Department of Human Development and Family Studies, Center for Healthy Aging, report concerning findings. “Digital engagement among older adults also carries risks, including attention deficits, disrupted sleep patterns, social isolation, reduced physical activity, and structural brain changes that could accelerate cognitive decline and dementia onset. Extended screen exposure may further contribute to visual fatigue, chronic distraction, and sedentary behaviors, potentially exacerbating cognitive vulnerabilities,” the duo writes in a recent study.

    Dr. Varma tells CBS Mornings that the symptoms can “very much look like dementia,” invoking the “if you don’t use it, you lose it” warning. This isn’t just a quirky thing that happens and stops when the phone is put down.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly man on laptop.
    Photo Credit: Canva

    According to Dr. Varma, “There are real structural changes in the brain for people who are using excessive screens, and we see that a lot of older adults are using 10 hours a day. That’s seven and a half hours of TV plus four hours of phones.” She later adds that 63% of seniors “find that social media strengthens their connections.”

    Not all Boomers fall into this category. Many are connecting with their community physically, but those with chronic illnesses tend to be on screens more often. Pew Research found that 41% of all adults report being online constantly, 84% say they’re online multiple times a day.

    Boomers, screen time, digital dementia, Millennials, culture
    Elderly woman looking at tablet.
    Photo Credit: Canva

    If people are interested in breaking their phone habit, she advises them to put their phone in grayscale mode. Varma adds that replacing digital things with their analog counterparts will also help break a phone habit. Finding ways to connect in person instead of passively scrolling also reduces screen time. Varma says that these small changes can help limit your screen time and re-engage your brain.

  • Doctor explains why some people can’t bring themselves to touch a deceased loved one’s things
    Photo credit: CanvaDoctor explains why some people can't bring themselves to touch a deceased loved one's things

    Losing someone you love is never easy, and the process is different for everyone. For some people, keeping their deceased loved one’s things exactly the way they left them is part of it. But to some people, this act of enshrinement can be viewed as unhealthy. Dr. Jason Singh argues that this behavior isn’t unhealthy at all. In fact, he explains that it’s actually your brain doing something intelligent.

    In a recent video, Singh makes his case. The doctor asks, “Have you ever lost someone and couldn’t bring yourself to touch a single thing they left behind?” At this point people may be expecting that he would touch on ways to move on from this kind of grief, but he doesn’t.

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A grieving woman. Photo Credit: Canva

    Instead, he shares information about the brain that can help those who are struggling with the reality of being unable to move these items. “Here’s something you may not have realized,” Singh says. “You’re not keeping their stuff because you’re stuck. You’re keeping it because your brain is doing something profoundly intelligent.”

    Singh explains that while people around you may think leaving a deceased loved one’s unwashed coffee mug untouched is unhealthy, it’s not. He shares that our brains are constantly updating information on the people we know. Like a computer system, it’s always processing new information and looking for updates. When someone we love dies, there is no new information about that person for our brains to process and categorize.

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    Man comforting a grieving woman. Photo Credit: Canva

    Leaving things as the deceased person left them is bridging this stalled function in a way. According to Singh, “Objects are not just objects to a grieving mind. They’re the last negotiation your nervous system has with permanence. See, when your dad passes away, or your mom passes away, something neurologically catastrophic happens that has nothing to do with sadness. Your brain, which has spent decades building a mental model of that person, their voice, their patterns, their presence, suddenly receives no more data to update that model with, and it refuses to close the file.”

    He says a brain that refuses to “close that file isn’t grief” because closing it would dismantle the attachment architecture that person helped build. “So that room is not a shrine,” Singh explains. “It’s a server that’s still running, and I don’t believe you’re in denial of their death. I honestly don’t. You’re in a silent war between two parts of your brain. The prefrontal cortex, which is the logical, forward-moving, knows that they’re gone, and the limbic system. The part that holds every memory of being loved by them.”

    The doctor says that Bond’s Theory explains that there is no logical way to override that program breakdown. Picture it like the old Windows buffering signal. The computer is on, it’s running, but it can’t move forward, no matter which button you press to escape the screen. Due to this theory, Singh shares that getting rid of their things may feel like participation in their erasure.

    Singh’s explanation resonated with viewers deeply. One person reveals, “This is awesome, thank you. Husband’s clothing still in closets and dresser, his two pair of running shoes still under the bed. Two years, 4 months since he passed.”

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A woman comforts a grieving elderly man. Photo Credit: Canva

    Another shares, “Thank you. I thought maybe I wasn’t dealing with my husband’s death 4 months ago very healthy….I can’t even remove his things from the shower as it feels like I’m moving him out of my life and that’s the last thing I want to do. He was ,y best friend and we were married 36 1/2 years and I miss him so much it hurts every day.

    It took me 3 months to finally wash his dress socks and the entire time I was washing them I was asking myself why I was washing them and what I was going to do with them once they were all washed? I matched them and put them away in his drawer and thought to myself how silly I was as these are just “things” but these socks had his feet in them and I just can’t bare to get rid of things he touched or wore or used and Ona afraid of being a ridiculous pack rat, but I have given and will continue to give my 5 adult kids his things and try to figure out what to do with the rest.”

    grief, grieving, loss, wholesome, science
    A grieving man looks out a window. Photo Credit: Canva

    One grieving child writes, “This was good to hear. I lost my Mama 5 years ago, my parents live with my family and we’ve barely touched anything in her room, my Dad and me go in and sit ‘with her’ when we need to and although we have taken a few things out and moved some things around it’s basically as it was when we lost her that day… mug still there, slippers by the bed, clothes folded on the chair, clothes still hanging in the wardrobe, teddy on the bed and ornaments on the shelves etc all sitting there… like they’re waiting for her to come home.”

    Someone else shares, “Wow, this makes so much sense. I walk into my father’s closet, touch the clothes, smell them and then close the door. That’s all I can do right now. I also am still paying for his phone.”

  • 6 party ideas that actually make it easier to invite people over
    Photo credit: CanvaWhat if hosting didn’t have to be such a production?

    Here’s something nobody warns you about adulthood: staying connected to your friends requires actual effort. Everyone’s busy. Everyone’s tired. And between work, family obligations, and that never-ending to-do list that lives in your notes app, the idea of hosting a get-together can start to feel less like something you want to do and more like something you’d need to recover from.

    But what if hosting didn’t have to be such a production?

    party, ideas, community, connection, simple
    The less you have to do alone, the more fun everyone has together. Canva

    These six party ideas are built around a beautifully simple premise: community. The less you have to do alone, the more fun everyone has together. So, no five-course meals. No obsessive cleaning. Just good people, a loose theme, and, if all goes well, the kind of easy laughter that reminds you why you love these people in the first place.

    The Sandwich Party

    The genius of this party lies in its simplicity. You supply the bread, your wonderful guests bring everything else. Deli meats, cheeses, roasted vegetables, the pesto from Costco that you’re convinced wipes the floor with every other brand, and whatever else they feel like contributing. Maybe you throw in some plates and napkins, too. Then everyone gathers around the table and builds their perfect sandwich. It’s like Subway… but this time, you’re the sandwich artist. Everyone is.

    This genius idea comes from Michaela (@luckylamb420 on Twitter/X), who posted:

    Because who wouldn’t want to get involved in a sandwich party? It’s interactive, requires approximately zero cooking skills, and for some reason, making a delicious little sandwich with good company is just wholesome and sweet.

    Pro tip: Experiment with new flavor combinations. Interesting condiments work great here, like truffle mustard, spicy fig jam, or a good pesto (I hear Costco carries a great one…). Suddenly, your sandwich party has a proper spread. Tada!

    The Swap Party

    The one thing that unites us all? We have things sitting in random drawers or cabinets that we’ve never used. Never touched, really. A candle, still in the box. A skirt from a brand you no longer adore. A kitchen gadget (unused) that was purchased with the best of intentions. A swap party gives it all a second life.

    party, ideas, community, connection, simple
    Photo credit: CanvaWe have things sitting in random drawers or cabinets that we’ve never used.

    Here’s how it works: Everyone brings a handful of high-quality unused (or, in the case of clothes, gently used) items, and you trade them for something new to you. Think of it like free shopping with your favorite humans and no evil parking structures involved.

    Pro tip: Curate the perfect shopping experience with a nice playlist bumping in the background (may I suggest one hour of Iranian jazz?), a delightful beverage option (perhaps aperol spritzes or chilled limeade?), and plenty of bags for your partygoers’ “purchases.” Also, whatever doesn’t get claimed at the end of the party? Box it up for a local charity that could put it to use.

    The Productivity Party

    This one sounds like it shouldn’t work, but it does. Imagine all the tasks you’ve been putting off: clearing out your inbox, paying a bill, and finally scheduling that routine dentist appointment. A productivity, or “forcing,” party gathers friends together with their laptops and their most dreaded to-do bullet points. As it turns out, working alongside other people makes the boring stuff more manageable. There’s even a name for it: body doubling. Psychologists say just being in the presence of others helps people focus and follow through.

    Pro tip: Ask guests to bring something achievable—not their tax returns from three years ago (no judgment)—and realistic, something they can actually finish in an evening.

    The PowerPoint Party

    If you haven’t been to a PowerPoint party yet, here’s your invitation to host one. Each guest prepares a short, completely self-chosen slideshow on a topic they care deeply about or find deeply hilarious. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

    • “Why [INSERT FAMOUS SINGER HERE] is overrated
    • Similar-looking celebrities
    • Things you’ve learned from watching TikTok videos
    • What I would do if there were no consequences for 24 hours
    • How everyone’s exes would fare in a zombie apocalypse
    @victreeon

    Our 2nd annual Power appoint Presentation Party and what we learned ✨ Not shown is Alex’s presentation on Money Trees and the propagations she gave everyone And Melanie’s presentation on the Real Fun Kamp!! #fyp #powerpoint #powerpointnight @Heather @Kelsey Leigh @Ash @NotEarlHickey @Tráshmañ @idesignawesome

    ♬ check – bbno$

    The result? You’ll get someone earnestly arguing that a specific cartoon character is underrated, and someone else presenting a very detailed case for why their coffee order is objectively correct. It’s funny, it’s revealing, and it brings out sides of people you don’t always see.

    Pro tip: The weirder the topic, the better the night. Encourage guests to go specific and strange.

    The Candy Salad Party

    Every so often, you need a party with exactly zero agenda other than joy…and maybe a sugar rush. That’s where the candy salad party comes into play. Ask each guest to bring a bag of candy. Dump it all into one big bowl. Eat it. That’s it. The mix of sweet, sour, fruity, and chocolatey is weirdly satisfying, and there’s something about the whole thing that just loosens people up immediately. And it’s a fun excuse to hang out.

    Pro tip: Speaking of chocolate…fruity and sour candies tend to play better in the mix than chocolate. Think gummies, Sour Patch, mini Starburst. Chopped up SweeTarts Ropes… Though honestly, there are no rules.

    The Potato Party

    Some ideas are great precisely because they’re a little ridiculous. The potato party is spudtastic; a full commitment to a theme. Guests each bring a potato dish—fries, twice-baked, mashed, latkes, whatever speaks to them—and if anyone wants to show up in a potato-inspired costume, go ahead! You encourage it. Throw in a round of potato trivia if the mood strikes. It’s the kind of night you’ll reference for years: “Remember the potato party?”

    party, ideas, community, connection, simple
    Photo credit: RedditThanks for the potato idea, Reddit!

    Pro tip: Learn from a famous Bad Bunny song and lean all the way in on the décor. Take pictures. Lots of them.

    Connection, that’s what we’re after

    At the end of the day, these party ideas share something in common: they shift the weight of hosting from one person onto everyone, which means you actually get to enjoy your own party. Your friends leave having contributed something, made something, swapped something, or, at the very least, eaten a truly chaotic bowl of candy together.

    That’s connection, baby. And it turns out you don’t need a perfect house or a spotless kitchen to make it happen. You just need to send the text.

  • Woman makes boyfriend sign ‘Performance Improvement Plan’ after he forgot her birthday
    Photo credit: CanvaA man and woman sadly celebrate a birthday

    It happens to the best of us. Sometimes we mark down important dates in our calendars only to completely space out and oops, the day has come and gone. That’s, seemingly, exactly what happened to Redditor Sure_Count_3890, a 31-year-old male who accidentally forgot his girlfriend’s birthday.

    On a Reddit post entitled “Forgot my GF’s birthday and she wanted me to sign this,” he shares what looks like a performance improvement plan, not unlike one someone might get at a job review.

    He further explains, “Obviously, I signed it but I feel weird about it. She (28F) hasn’t done something like this before and was kind of laughing, but when I asked if she was serious, she said she expected me to take it seriously. Note that we did have a make-up bday night already, I said sorry a lot, and I took her out for a movie and really nice dinner. She told me to post it bc she ‘knows people will back her up.’” And wow, did they ever!

    Reddit, Performance Improvement Plan, relationships, birthdays
    Performance Improvement Plan for boyfriend, Photo Credit: Sure_Count_3890

    The contract

    At the top of the “contract,” it reads, “Performance Improvement Plan,” with the department listed as “Romance and Affection.” Michael (last name redacted) has the position of “boyfriend,” with Katherine as his “manager.”

    The contract is pretty cut and dry. She includes a “target area,” wherein she describes the issue. “A failure to deploy date-keeping, foresight, and thoughtfulness leading to forgetting to plan, provide gifts for, and summarily plan my birthday.”

    birthday, cake, celebration
    Birthday cake, Photo Credit: Canva

    She then helpfully lays out the “employee standard.” “The employee is expected to plan events, gifts, and curate a minimum of a 1-day-long experience to facilitate celebration of their partner’s annual trip around the sun.”

    The good news is she has a plan. In her idea for “Improvement Actions,” she suggests that Michael keep a record. “Employee will agree to keep redundant, numerous, and multifaceted planning tools; no reminders will be forthcoming.”

    And finally, she offers a “Training and Support plan,” should Michael need assistance. “Employee has been provided with a calendar and sticky notes.”

    Reddit weighs in

    The Reddit comments did not disappoint. At over 34,000 upvotes, nearly 7,000 people weighed in with their thoughts. One seemed to believe that the performance review itself was in good fun, but the importance behind it was dead serious. “Sounds like she was joking about the document but said she was serious about remembering your girlfriend’s damn birthday. Remember your damn girlfriend’s birthday.”

    And though quite a few were slightly tough on the lad, they noted that his girlfriend’s ability to be clear with her feelings, but in a fun, lighthearted way, was a wonderful reflection on her character. “Forgetting your partner’s birthday is a huge f#$-up at a fundamental level of a relationship. Making sure that never happens again is not a joke. The pretend ‘PIP’ and her laughing while giving it is her effort to find a way to tell him it matters, but break up the tension a bit. That’s part of the ‘joke’.”

    Another Redditor simply raved about her. “Honestly, I think the whole situation is absolutely fantastic on her part. She’s giving an incredibly hurtful situation some levity to show him that she’s upset, but not furious at him, and is willing to give him a chance to make it up to her by being more thoughtful in the future. All while being hilarious.”

    A learning experience

    As for the OP, this comment advises them to learn from the unfortunate situation: “OP, YTA, but only because you missed her birthday in the first place. Take the L here and actually remember her birthday next time. In fact, most of what’s in this PIP is actually good advice for planning an important long-term date.”

    And this commenter could totally relate to the situation: “In these days of constant phones-in-our-hands and electronic calendars, it’s not that hard to set up recurring reminders in your phone.

    After my first Christmas with my boyfriend passed and he didn’t buy me anything (he’s not a gift giver, but neither am I, so no major judgment), I put a reminder in his phone for two weeks before Christmas to remember to buy his girlfriend something for Christmas. 10 years later, the ‘buy your girlfriend something for Christmas’ reminder still pops up every year, and we both have a good laugh about it because I’m his wife now. He remembers, though.”

  • Gen Xers share how to avoid a midlife crisis so younger people don’t have to
    Photo credit: CanvaA Gen X man and a Gen Z man reflect on life.
    ,

    Gen Xers share how to avoid a midlife crisis so younger people don’t have to

    “Try to become what you want to be, rather than what you think you should want to be.”

    Take it from a Gen Xer: midlife regrets are no fun. But what if it were possible to learn from our elders and avoid making the same mistakes? We’ve reached a moment when Gen X (and, frankly, some Millennials) has entered its silver age of wisdom and is ready to pass it on to the next generation.

    In a Reddit thread titled “Middle-aged people, what advice would you give a young person to avoid going through a mid-life crisis later in life?” there have been more than 400 responses in less than a week. They range from beautifully earnest to highly practical, with none crossing into judgmental territory. Here are some of the best:

    Don’t let others decide what your life should be

    “Don’t spend your 20s and 30s becoming someone else’s idea of successful and then wonder at 45 why nothing feels like yours.”

    “Try and become what you want to be, rather than what you think you should want to be.”

    “This is it. I followed my parents’ idea of a career and success and I’m lost at 40. I should have followed my own path.”

    Decisions have consequences

    “Every decision you make can have life-altering consequences later on. Watch your diet, exercise, money, and mental health and constantly keep tabs on them and generally speaking, you should avoid most of the common pitfalls.”

    diet, nutrition, healthy, food, gen x
    Nutritious food. Photo credit: Canva

    “A good way to try to teach yourself these habits is to just make a list of brand new things you’ll do for ten minutes in a day, then track them for a week. So, say, ‘I’ll do ten minutes of walking, ten minutes of writing, and ten minutes of reading.’ At the end of the day, after doing these things, you’ll notice they were easier each time and you even felt like you could go longer in the next session. It just shows how habits are built pretty quickly and doing something only once isn’t pointless because it’s starting a whole new act.”

    Reflect and ask questions

    “Spend time alone, reflecting on your thoughts. I know, it seems scary. But trust me. Go to a park or some outdoor space where you can be alone. Don’t look at your phone, don’t listen to music, no distractions. Just try to be there in the moment.

    Consider and reflect on any thoughts that pop into your head. Good or bad, ask yourself what are the origins of these thoughts and the meaning of them? The point of this exercise is to become more attuned to yourself and your unique life that you may not realize because we rarely give ourselves time to reflect.

    Figuring out ‘what you want to be’ requires a deep understanding of yourself, and this comes from spending time reflecting on who you are.”

    “The best way to self-reflect is by asking questions:

    Why are you unhappy?

    What causes you to feel fulfilled?

    Where do you want to see yourself in 5, 10, or 20 years from now?

    What’s holding you back?

    What can you change now?

    As you keep digging, you start to notice questions you don’t know the answers to, or try to avoid.

    Those are usually the things that you slowly have to work on, maybe with a therapist, a friend, or by yourself to become a better person.”

    Someday is now

    “Build a life that actually feels like yours—keep growing, take risks you believe in, and don’t postpone living for ‘someday.’”

    “Everything you want to do and everything you want to be is just on the other side of embarrassment. Don’t be afraid to be bad at something, we all start somewhere.”

  • Ancient salt frying, the cheaper alternative to oil frying, is making a comeback
    Photo credit: Canvasalt (left) skillet over a fire (right)

    Online, you’ll find hundreds of newfangled hacks to get food crispy and golden brown without the oil. But one new method taking over TikTok isn’t new at all. In fact, it’s centuries old. 

    Enter: salt frying. Recently, Roice Bethel (@roicebethel) went viral after sharing a clip of himself dropping chicharrones and popcorn kernels into a frying pan filled to the brim with salt and salt alone. Then voila, each of the foods puffed out, ready to eat…leaving some viewers dumbfounded. 

    “Am I being gaslit?” one person quipped. 

    @noflakeysalt

    Bonus Points if you can guess what part of the world this technique comes from. In English it’s called salt frying! #easyrecipe #foodhacks #foodscience #cookinghacks #deepfried

    ♬ original sound – noflakeysalt

    History of salt frying

    In truth, the technique of using salt (or sand) to cook certain foods has been around for millennia in countries like China, India, and Greece. And you’ll still find it among street food vendors today. In India, for instance, far far (or fryums), made from potato starch, tapioca, and/or wheat flour, are often made this way.

    In China, chestnuts roasted in large woks filled with hot sand are a seasonal winter staple, prized for their subtly smoky flavor. And in Bangladesh, peanuts are traditionally toasted in pans of hot black sand, which helps them roast evenly without burning.

    Similar techniques have also appeared in parts of the Middle East and Mediterranean, where cooks have long relied on heated salt beds to gently cook or warm foods. Historically, these methods were especially useful in places where cooking oil was scarce or expensive, making salt and sand practical alternatives. Not to mention that watching foods cooks this way is also a treat for the eyes. 

    In Turkey, sand has also been a tried-and-true way to make coffee, seen below. 

    How salt frying works

    Really, salt or sand frying isn’t so much frying as it is dry roasting. Frying food in oil makes food crispy by rapidly dehydrating the outer layer. The intense heat triggers the Maillard reaction, which is responsible for browning and complex flavors, and causes surface starches to gelatinize and harden while the inside stays moist.

    When heated, salt and sand act as equally excellent heat conductors. Both can store and distribute heat evenly, surrounding food on all sides and eliminating hot spots. This creates a consistent cooking environment that mimics the effect of deep frying, only without added fat.

    As Kurush F. Dalal, an archaeologist and culinary anthropologist, told Food & Wine, “it’s an incredibly cost-effective and very controllable process,” especially since you can reuse the salt you fry with. Tell that to the southerners among us who save every drop of their bacon grease!

    Salt frying tips

    Now, if you’re excited to try this cooking style out yourself, there are a few caveats—the most important being that this really only works on dry ingredients. Salt will stick to any damp ingredients and completely ruin the taste of the dish. 

    Second, it is advised to use coarse salt, according to Food & Wine. And at least one person on Reddit suggests that no matter what salt or sand you use, “let it heat for 15 minutes to let the volatile compounds evaporate (like iodine).”

    Lastly, you’ll need a large, deep fryer-friendly utensil, like a wok or cast-iron skillet, that can hold a lot of salt or sand. 

    So, while it may look like a viral magic trick, salt frying is really just ancient ingenuity making a well-deserved comeback. Some things are timeless for a reason. 

Relationships

Woman makes boyfriend sign ‘Performance Improvement Plan’ after he forgot her birthday

Generations

Gen Xers share how to avoid a midlife crisis so younger people don’t have to

Culture

Ancient salt frying, the cheaper alternative to oil frying, is making a comeback

Life Hacks

Struggling to make time for self-care? These 15 micro-habits take 2 minutes or less.