upworthy
Community

Psychologists explain what the number of unread emails in your inbox reveals about your personality

Having thousands of unread emails is not purely "good habit vs. bad habit."

Screenshot of email app with 23,435 unread emails
Screenshot by Annie Reneau

Does this image cause you anxiety, or is it just par for your daily course?

Email has been a regular fixture in our lives since the mid-to-late 1990s, with many of us having many different inboxes to manage from personal and work to organizations and side hustles. Our email life can become overwhelming and even exhausting, and it definitely requires some effort to maintain it, but what that effort and maintenance look like varies drastically from person to person.

Variations in email management have prompted many a debate amongst friends, particularly when one catches a glimpse of another's 20,000+ unreads on their phone and panics. "Why do you have so many unread emails?!? That would cause me so much anxiety!" says the one, while the other just shrugs and says, "I skip the ones I don't want to read and it's not worth taking the time to delete them," as if that's a perfectly reasonable approach.

What do these reactions to emails say about each person? Is one right and the other wrong? Does one have good habits and the other bad?


Some folks will make a convincing argument for orderly and organized inbox habits, touting the benefits of the "Inbox Zero" method in which you follow a few steps to keep your inbox cleared. Such habits can help those who feel overwhelmed by too many emails and can't ignore inbox clutter to feel more at ease.

But before judging those with cluttered inboxes too harshly, it's important to note that our brains don't all work the same way. For some, keeping up a clear inbox causes more stress than ignoring emails and they feel that the time and attention it takes to manage it every day isn't worth it.

Here's what psychologists have to say about people's email inbox habits and what they mean about our personalities:

First, let's look at the reality of email and how much of it is even worth our time, because we all know a lot of the email we receive is worthless. Researchers wrote inHarvard Business Review, “Of the eight hours managers devote to e-communications each week, we estimate 25% of that time is consumed reading emails that should not have been sent to that particular manager and 25% is spent responding to emails that the manager should never have answered.”

In another Harvard Business Review article citing a 2012 McKinsey analysis, researchers noted that, "the average professional spends 28% of the workday reading and answering email...that amounts to a staggering 2.6 hours and 120 emails per day."

And that's just work email. Our personal inboxes are full of junk with seemingly endless waves of email marketing and advertisements masquerading as helpful information. Some of us understand that reality and see it as all the more reason to actively manage our inboxes, while some of us see it as a reason to simply ignore most email that comes in.

A person using a smartphone and laptop with various open tabs.

Are you a filer and deleter or an ignorer?

Photo by Yogas Design on Unsplash

Research psychologist Larry Rosen, Ph.D. told Business Insider that people who routinely file and delete emails are often trying to avoid the anxiety that comes with seeing emails pile up. "A huge, exploding inbox releases stress-based neurotransmitters, like cortisol, which make them anxious," he said.

Some of that anxiety could stem from perfectionism (or vice versa) and seeing notifications build up is a reminder of everything you're not doing or able to do.

“It could be tied to feeling overwhelmed to the point that each unread notification is yet another piled task piled on top of a thousand others,” Jenn Hardy, a licensed psychologist in Maryville, Tennessee, told HuffPost.

Rosen told Business Insider that people who stay on top of their inboxes are often people with a high need for control in their lives. "They need an external way to have control over the world," he said, so the idea of just letting emails pile up willy nilly is way too stressful.

On the other hand, people who do let their emails pile up may feel an opposite kind of stress. The idea of managing it all creates anxiety, and they feel more comfortable just ignoring it. Ultimately, there have to be occasional purges, but that's preferable to the day-to-day maintenance stress for some.

“They may find this works better for them, leaves them less stressed and helps them focus their time and energy on other matters," Hardy pointed out. Social psychologist Ron Friedman told Business Insider that ignoring email "can also mean that you recognize that [monitoring and organizing those emails] isn't helping you achieve progress," adding that recognition is "a sign of intelligence."

Email ignorers might also just be more relaxed personality types in general. More Type B than Type A.

“They may be less of a perfectionist type and go more with the flow,” Lena Derhally, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in social media and anxiety, told HuffPost. “They may not see having unread notifications or clear inboxes as a priority, and they may not feel bad/guilty/shameful about being unresponsive.”

The one solid argument for keeping your inbox under control regardless of your personality type is the environmental impact of data storage. Deleting emails may be fairly low on the rung of carbon to-dos, but it's a simple one that anyone can do. Plus, using the environment as an incentive to clean up your email habits might be helpful for people who actually want the "Inbox Zero" life but have a hard time getting motivated to do it.

What's funny about all of this is how people's email worlds can be completely alien to one another. My friends look at my unread email notifications and chastise me for causing them anxiety (even though they're my inboxes, not theirs—just seeing the number in the bubble on my phone stresses them out). I, on the other hand, cannot even conceptualize how they keep all of their email inboxes cleaned up every day. Like, does not compute even a little bit.

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, so as long as people are happy with their chosen methods, we can stop judging and even celebrate the differences in our inbox habits.


This article originally appeared on 6.6.24

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.


“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Joy

Woman's heartwarming message to Trader Joe's employee who wouldn't accept $1 tip

Commenters had a lot of split opinions about companies that "strongly discourage" tips.

margaretcstone/TikTok & Mike Mozart/Flickr

Should customers be able to tip if they want to?

We keep hearing that customer service is dead. More and more stores have self-checkouts replacing human cashiers and websites are now opting for AI chatbots instead of a phone number. There are also the more crotchety takes, like that younger generations are "rude" and don't have the people skills we're all looking for when we go out shopping.

Maybe that's why it's so pleasantly surprising when you do have a genuinely nice customer service interaction — a great waiter or a super-friendly checkout clerk. It can legitimately brighten your day. You almost want to celebrate and shout it from the rooftops.

One TikTok creator did, more or less, exactly that when a helpful cashier at Trader Joe's blew her away. Margaret Stone jumped on TikTok to share the story of a rockstar Trader Joe's employee and the curious response she got when she tried to leave him a tip for great service.

A trader joe's storefrontMike Mozart/Flickr

“This message is for Drew, the cashier at the Trader Joe’s ... and Drew only,” she says in the video. “Hi, Drew. I bought a bouquet of flowers from you today, and I gave you an extra dollar than what the flowers were worth and you gave it back to me."

"You were slammed, working your ass off... You said 'No, company policy doesn't allow us to accept tips.' I found that to be quite ridiculous. If i want to give you a tip, why shouldn't I?"

Not content to leave it there, Margaret went home called the store manager after looking up the company policy, which says employees accepting tips is "extremely discouraged." She took management to task for telling employees they couldn't accept tips versus it being simply discouraged.

"You should probably tell your staff that. That annoyed me very much that they are probably telling you guys something different from what is actually true and not allowing you to take tips from people.

“So I will be coming back next week," she told Drew and all the viewers. "I really want to give you a Christmas present, and a tip on top of that.” She added that she wouldn't be leaving anything with management "in case something shady is going on."

@margaretcstone

Tiktok do your thing!!! #peabodyma #massachusetts #fyp #traderjoes

Margaret brought up an extremely compelling debate: Should you fight against 'no tipping' policies when you feel it's warranted, or is it better to let it go?

Some commenters found her video heartwarming and thought it was amazing that Margaret would go to such lengths to let Drew know he did a great job.

"Best customer ever," wrote one.

"May this generosity and thoughtfulness find me," said another.

Others shared her frustration that Trader Joe's and other companies won't let employees take tips for their hard work.

"Walmart pick up workers can’t accept tips either! It makes me mad! It’s pouring rain and they’re bringing my groceries to me, let me tip them!" one user added.

Others still were critical that Margaret would go through so much trouble for a dollar tip.

"A lot of companies discourage tipping. You have an extremely generous offer and kind heart, but I would let it go," someone wrote.

One commenter who claimed to work for Trader Joe's (in fact, the same TJ's that employs Drew), cautioned that employees like Drew can get in big trouble for violating tip policies:

"We are expected to be nice to our customers without extra tips. It is very nice you want to do this but we are just following rules by not accepting it. Accepting it could risk our job. We are not risking our jobs for $1."

It's not just Trader Joe's. Lots of companies won't allow workers to accept tips, and there are pros and cons to each approach.

There is a variety of reasons for no-tipping rules — usually it boils down to not wanting customers to feel obligation or ambiguity over whether to tip. It also might not be fair that, say, a cashier gets a tip for friendly service but less customer-facing workers don't have the same opportunity. So banning all tips can help level the playing field for different workers.

However, it doesn't always sit right with customers that they aren't allowed to tip, especially when they know workers are underpaid. For example, McDonald's employees are not allowed to accept tips despite the company being heavily criticized publicly for its low wages. Clearly, Margaret felt that her cashier went above and beyond and wanted to share a token of appreciation. Not being allowed to do so was frustrating.

And then there's the fact that customers are struggling too, with high prices and salaries that aren't keeping up. We've all gotten tired of the little tablets at checkout counters that prompt you for tips almost everywhere you go, so much so that they've become a meme. So sometimes it's kind of nice going to a store where you know you won't be expected to tip!

I don't know what the right answer is, but it's still cool that Margaret wanted to show appreciation to someone who worked hard to help her. Even when tips aren't allowed, a smile and a big Thank You can go a long way to brighten another person's day — no viral TikTok necessary!

True

Been stressed this week? Who hasn’t. That’s why we’re bringing you the latest in good news—five animal-themed stories we guarantee will put a smile on your face.

This week, we’re celebrating:

The most entertaining animal photos you've ever seen

Jason Moore/Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023 and © Tzahi Finkelstein /Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023

Need a laugh? How about a dozen laughs? Look no further than the 2023 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards, a competition started in 2015 that focuses on the lighter side of wildlife photography. More than 1,800 photographers from around the world submitted photos, and the finalists—from a kangaroo playing air guitar to an arguing set of greenfinches—will absolutely make your day.

Healthier, happier, rescued pets

Hundreds of thousands of pets are relinquished to shelters each year, and many vulnerable pet populations—such as disabled and elderly dogs—can be hard to place in loving homes. Fortunately, Subaru has sponsored the rescue, rehabilitation, and adoption of more than 134,000 of these pets through the Subaru Share the Love® Event. As the largest corporate donor to the ASPCA® (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals®), Subaru and its retailers are donating a minimum of $300 to charities like the ASPCA for every new Subaru purchase or lease during the 2024 Subaru Share the Love Event, happening now through January 2, 2025.

This animal-centric (and adorable) creative writing assignment 

Amy McKinney, a third-grade teacher in Pennsylvania, recently had a genius idea for teaching her class persuasive writing: Rather than have them formulate an argument for an imagined audience (boring!), McKinney partnered with a local animal shelter and had her class write persuasive descriptions of each animal to help them get adopted. Each student chose a pet to write about and sent their essays to the shelter to display and post to the shelter’s social media channels. Student engagement was “tremendous,” said McKinney, and there’s no doubt these persuasive paragraphs made a huge difference in these shelter pet’s lives. Adorable.

The dog who saved his owner with CPR (yes, really)

Dogs have made the news for saving humans before, but have you ever heard of a dog performing CPR? That’s exactly what Bear, a Siberian Husky-Golden Retriever mix, did in 2022 when he found his owner unconscious on the floor after suffering a major heart attack. Not only was Bear able to quickly call for help, he even jumped on his owner’s chest repeatedly while someone else called the paramedics. Thanks to Bear, the owner survived what should have been a fatal heart attack. Now that deserves some head scritches.

Bee populations have reached a record high

macro shot photography of beePhoto by Jenna Lee on Unsplash

Honeybees are essential to the planet, as they pollinate over 130 types of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. For years, honeybee numbers have been in decline—but happily, that’s starting to change. The US has added almost a million bee colonies in the past five years, with more than 3.8 million honeybees in total.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

Pedro Pascal and Bowen Yang can't keep a straight face as Ego Nwodim tries to cut her steak.

Most episodes of Saturday Night Live are scheduled so the funnier bits go first and the riskier, oddball sketches appear towards the end in case they have to be cut for time. But on the February 4, 2023 episode featuring host Pedro Pascal (The Mandalorian, The Last of Us), the final sketch, “Lisa from Temecula,” was probably the most memorable of the night.

That’s high praise because it was a strong episode with a funny “Last of Us” parody featuring the Super Mario Brothers and a sketch where Pascal played a protective mother.


In “Lisa from Temecula,” Paul, played by Pascal, takes a few friends out for dinner played by Punkie Johnson, newcomer Molly Kearney, and breakout star Bowen Yang. The trouble comes when Johnson’s sister Lisa, played by Ego Nwodim, orders her steak “extra, extra well done.”

The sketch is a play on the notion that it’s a faux pas to order well-done steak, especially in a fancy restaurant. However, Lisa doesn’t care and won’t tolerate “one speck of red” on her steak.

The sketch is one of the rare moments on SNL where things are so funny that the cast breaks character. Pascal has difficulty getting through his lines and Yang has to cover his face because he can’t stop laughing. But Nwodim only has one small break in the scene and keeps it together as the sketch’s comedy core.

Lisa from Temecula” got a lot of attention online, sparking articles, posts, and lots of praise. Shout out the sketch's writers Alex English, Gary Richardson, and Michael Che.


This article originally appeared last year.

10/10. The Mayyas dance.

We can almost always expect to see amazing acts and rare skills on America’s Got Talent. But sometimes, we get even more than that.

The Mayyas, a Lebanese women’s dance troupe whose name means “proud walk of a lioness” in Arabic, delivered a performance so mesmerizing that judge Simon Cowell called it the “best dance act” the show has ever seen, winning them an almost instant golden buzzer.

Perhaps this victory comes as no surprise considering the Mayyas had previously won “Arab’s Got Talent” and competed on “Britain’s Got Talent: The Champions,” both in 2019. But truly, it’s what motivates them to take to the stage that’s remarkable.

“Lebanon is a very beautiful country, but we live a daily struggle," one of the dancers said to the judges just moments before their audition. Another explained, “being a dancer as a female Arab is not fully supported—yet.”

Nadim Cherfan, the team’s choreographer, added that, “Lebanon is not considered a place where you can build a career out of dancing, so it’s really hard, and harder for women.”

Still, Cherfan shared that it was a previous AGT star who inspired the Mayyas to defy the odds and audition anyway. Nightbirde, a breakout singer who also earned a golden buzzer before tragically passing away from cancer at 31 years old in February 2021, had told the audience, “You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” The dance team took the advice to heart.

For the Mayyas, coming onto the AGT stage became more than an audition opportunity. Getting emotional, one of the dancers declared that it was their "only chance to prove to the world what Arab women can do, the art we can create, the fights we fight.”


The Mayyas went on to fulfill their promise of a truly hypnotic performance. Starting in a single file line, the women created magnificent shapes while moving flawlessly in sync. At one point, the group even became a pair of eyes (a major crowd pleaser).

The judges—and the audience—were left dumbfounded.

It was no time at all before judge Sofia Vergara leapt up to give the Mayyas their well-deserved golden buzzer. “There are no words to explain to you what we were feeling over here. It was the most beautiful creative dancing I’ve ever seen,” she told the team.

Howie Mandel added, “You said you were going to hypnotize us. When we sat here and we watched the movement and the perfection and the time and effort that went into that, we were hypnotized by what you did.”

You can watch the Mayyas’s spellbinding act below. Prepare to be hypnotized yourself.


This article originally appeared in June.