Malala revealed that she spoke with her attackers—and it's a masterclass in forgiveness
“There can be a society where we can live together."
“I can take my revenge by educating girls. That’s the best way to fight back.”
Forgiveness is about seeing through wrongdoing and—with mercy and inner strength—getting back in touch with our own heart, our goodness and our humanity. It’s rarely easy. But it’s well worth the effort.
Most of us on some level understand the importance of forgiveness, but what exactly does this look like?
During a town hall meeting for Doha Debates, Malala Yousafzai was asked if she would ever speak to the Taliban gunmen who made an attack on her life in 2012, after she publicly spoke out for women’s educational rights.
Malala is already a hero to millions for her courage and resilience, but her response to this question is the epitome of showing grace … even after the unthinkable. Plus, it’s a beautiful reminder that forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool for healing.“Actually, I did,” she disclosed, to the interviewer’s surprise.
Malala explained that her colleagues organized a call with the men who had shot her all those years ago. After the young men tried to apologize for their brutal actions, this is what she had to say:
“All I had was sympathy. All I had was empathy. Because you wonder … what are the reasons that lead to these actions?”
Malala showed genuine compassion and understanding as she described the incident from the attacker’s perspective, who were handed a picture of Malala and told “this is a girl and she is against Islam. Go and shoot her.” For them, it was about loyalty, purpose and fulfilling a job.
As she continued, Malala chose to focus on solutions, rather than placing blame.
“Whatever hatred you have against this person, it’s not going to solve any of the problems … There is a system in there that will create more terrorists. It’s the narrative that is wrong … It’s the ideology that we need to challenge.”
Her stance was clear: The problem isn’t people, it’s what people are taught. It takes getting deeper insight into how history has shaped us, so that we can take new steps toward a better society. That is what can be gained by letting go of anger and resentment in favor of progress.
As for revenge? Malala told the audience, “I can take my revenge by educating girls. That’s the best way to fight back.”
Despite receiving such hatred, Malala’s vision remains fueled by hope.
“There can be a society where we can live together. We can know what it means to be just. What it means to be fair. I think as individuals, we can use reason. We can have good emotions and powerful emotions that can really guide us in creating a better society."
Malala is now a household name as an advocate for women’s education, wrote a bestselling book and heads a highly successful platform “working for a world where every girl can learn and lead.” She took what was arguably the most horrific experience of her lifetime and made the conscious choice to transform it into a force for good.
Forgiveness often comes down to one simple question, “How will I use this moment to become a better person?” The choice is ours.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."