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'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' got a modern update. Meet the family behind it.

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is a classic Christmas favorite, but San Diego musicians Danielle LoPresti and Alicia Champion thought it could use a bit of an update.

So the couple, along with their son Xander Lucien, created a video featuring the three of them: a multiracial, same-sex, foster-adoptive family. The fun video is a great reminder that families aren't one-size-fits-all.

All GIFs via Danielle LoPresti and The Masses/YouTube.

The first time I watched this video, I wondered if it was a little too racy for my taste. But after I thought about it for a while, I was struck by the reality: This scene is just like what I see on TV and online every day.

I realized that the issue isn't that the video is racy. The issue is how uncommon it truly is to see a family comprised of two women and a child portrayed in the same way we portray straight couples with a child. The parents are about to have a little fun (if ya know what I mean) and they're interrupted by their kiddo who wakes up and gets out of bed. Real life as a parent. Funny. No big deal.

Why is it that two moms portrayed this way is an anomaly?

LoPresti and Champion came up with the idea last Christmas after they and their son watched Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel's viral video of "Baby It’s Cold Outside."

The video featured two cute kids acting and dancing to the song and the three of them loved it.

"Our son Lucian is a beautiful mix of African American, Mexican, and White, so we’re constantly introducing him to examples of beautiful, empowered kids who look like him, as well as men and women of color who are doing remarkable things in our communities," LoPresti told me in an email interview.

Immediately after they enjoyed the video as a family, they went to find another holiday video that represented a family that looked similar to theirs.

And they came up with nothing.

So they thought: Why not make our own?

After all, they are musicians and producers. The couple had the resources and skills to make their own version of the modern holiday video. (For real on the skills. Scroll down to watch and hear LoPresti's beautiful voice.)

"We wanted to create a peek into a typical American family that at the core is no different than any other, although many people still don’t know that. How can people know this when we still see so few families like ours represented?" Champion said.

They're just like any other family, and it would be nice to see more like them in the media.

And just like most other happy families, their story about meeting each other and forming their own family is sweet.

Image via Danielle LoPresti and The Masses/YouTube.

Champion, who was born in Singapore, and LoPresti, a San Diego native, met in 2003. "I was on stage finishing my sound check when Danielle’s band was loading in behind me. When I unplugged my guitar and turned toward the stage stairs, my eyes caught hers and I lost my breath," Champion told me. "I used to always think 'love at first sight' was a myth – I was proven wrong that day."

But for a while, it was just a friendship.

Lo Presti says they became fast friends, bonding over shared values and the dreams they had for independent musicians. "We started producing events together and after about eight months, I finally gave in to what had become Alicia’s relentless pursuit," she joked.

Champion said yes to LoPresti's proposal in May 2008, the same month that California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. However, when Proposition 8 passed in November that year, the couple, who had been engaged for just six months, wasn't able to fulfill their plans to legally marry. They were finally married in May 2014, thanks to Prop 8 being ruled unconstitutional.

In the midst of the wait, something wonderful happened: They became moms. Lucian, who's 4 years old now, joined their family of two via open adoption when he was just one day old. "[T]here’s not a single day that goes by when I don’t remember how lucky we are to be his parents," LoPresti said. "He's the center of our universe."

Lucian loved starring alongside his moms in this fun, modern video:

So what can we do to ensure that videos like this become a lot more common?

Given the historic Supreme Court ruling this year on same-sex marriage, it might seem like we're all set on equality and acceptance. Unfortunately, that's not the case. I asked the couple what we can do to keep the momentum going.

Photo courtesy of Danielle LoPresti and Alicia Champion, used with permission.

For herself and Champion, LoPresti says it means they're creating work that is reflective of their lives. They also speak out against things that aren't right. "We embrace that injustice against anyone is injustice against everyone and we fold that resolve into our daily lives," she told me.

"Sometimes, the greatest activism we can do is finding the courage to simply be ourselves."

"For others, ‘doing the work’ can simply mean sharing things that help create connection and justice as opposed to separation and fear," LoPresti said. "I truly believe that sometimes the greatest activism we can do is finding the courage to simply be ourselves." She mentioned that their neighbors, with whom they've become close over the past several years, are Christian missionaries.

"Just the simple act of being who we are is showing them that we are a family just like they are, with the same concerns for our kids, the same indescribable love, the same hard days and sweet simple triumphs," she said.

For those of us who don't identify as part of the LBGTQ community, I think we can keep speaking out and sharing more examples of media featuring folks that don't fit the mold of the "traditional family" (and, hopefully, that phrase will become obsolete).

I'm an ally and an advocate, and even I had a moment of pause when I realized I'm not accustomed to seeing very many examples in everyday media featuring complete families like Champion and LoPresti's. Let's work to change that.

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Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

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Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.

The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

 For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

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science
Joy

We've been Airbnb hosts for 7 years. We agree—cleaning fees and check-out chores are bunk.

This is why Airbnb guests actually make the best hosts.

Photo by Taylor Heery on Unsplash

People are right to complain about being charged a cleaning fee and being asked to do chores.

In 2016, My husband and I started renting our basement apartment out as a short-term rental on Airbnb. We live in a college town and figured we'd get some guests during football game weekends and graduations. We didn't realize how many people come to our town to visit their college kids or check out the school, so we were pleasantly surprised by how regularly we were booked.

In 2019, we bought the house next door and now rent out both floors of the old house as separate units. We love being Airbnb hosts and have had a very successful run of it, with hundreds of 5-star reviews, Superhost status and lots of repeat guests.

We also don't charge a cleaning fee or make guests do check-out chores. In fact, we find both things rather loathsome.

What makes us good hosts is that we've been Airbnb guests for years. As a family of five that travels a lot, we've found far more value in Airbnbs than in hotels over the years. We love having a kitchen, living room and bedrooms and feeling like we have a "home" while traveling. We even spent a nomadic year staying at short-term rentals for a month at a time.

When you've experienced dozens of Airbnbs as a guest, you learn what guests appreciate and what they don't. You see what's annoying and unnecessary and what's to be expected in comparison to a hotel. We started taking mental notes long before we started our own rental about what we would want to do and not do if we ever had one and have implemented those things now that we do.

As guests, we know the pain of the cleaning fee, so we don't charge one.

via GIPHY

It helps that my husband has a flexible schedule and grew up helping with his parents' janitorial service, so most of the time he cleans the apartments himself. We could charge a cleaning fee for his time and labor, but even if we were paying for outside cleaners, we still wouldn't put a separate fee onto guest bookings. It makes far more sense to us to just wrap the cleaning fee into the per-night price.

From a host's perspective, the one-night stay is where the cleaning fee question hits the hardest. Whether someone stays one night or 10 nights, the cleaning cost is the same. But spreading the cost over 10 nights is a very different beast than adding it to one night, especially from a guest's perspective. On the host side, if we had to pay cleaners without passing that fee onto guests, we've barely make anything on one-night stays. But on the guest side, a $100 a night stay suddenly jumping to $150 because a cleaning fee was added is painful, and often a dealbreaker. You can see the conundrum.

The way we see it, and as other Airbnb hosts have found, wrapping cleaning costs into the base price comes out in the wash over time, as long as you have some longer-term stays mixed in with the one-nighters. And it's a much better experience for the guest not to get hit with sticker shock on the "final cost" screen, which is already eye-popping when service fees and taxes are added on.

(I will say, this may only ring true for smaller units. If you're renting a huge home, cleaning costs are going to be higher just because it takes longer to clean. But I still don't think the full cost should be passed onto guests as a separate fee.)

As for check-out chores—asking guests to do things like start laundry, sweep the floor, take out the trash, etc.—those have never made sense to us. Hosts should have enough switch-out linens that laundry doesn't have to be started prior to checking out, and none of those chores save enough time for the cleaning people to make it worth asking guests to do it. I can see taking out trash if there wasn't going to be another guest for a while, but usually you'd want to clean right away after a stay anyway just in case it does get booked last minute.

The only thing we ask guests to do is to start the dishwasher if they have dirty dishes (as a guest, I've never found that an unreasonable request), lock the door and have a safe trip home. Don't need to pull the sheets. Don't need to take out any garbage or recycling. Those things don't take that long, but that's just as much a reason not to ask guests to do it. Annoying your guests by asking them to do something extra isn't worth the tiny bit of time it might save the cleaning people.

And you know what? This approach works really well. Approximately 95% of guests leave the apartments clean and tidy anyway. In seven years, I can count on one hand how many problems we've had with guests leaving a mess. That's been a pleasant surprise, but I think part of the reason is that guest are simply reciprocating the respect and consideration we show them by not making them pay extra fees or do chores on their way out.

To be fair, it probably also helps that we aren't some big real estate tycoon that bought up a bunch of apartments and turning them into short-term rentals run by impersonal management companies. People's complaints about how short-term rentals impact local housing economies are legitimate. We're more aligned with the original "sharing economy" model, renting out our home to guests who come through town. And in a small college town with a large university, there often aren't enough hotel rooms during busy weekends anyway, so it's been a bit of a win-win.

I think being right next door, having personal communication with our guests (but also leaving them their privacy), and not charging or asking anything extra of them makes them want to be respectful guests. From our perspective, both as guests and hosts, cleaning fees and check-out chores simply aren't worth it.


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Education

Expert says there's only one laundry cycle you ever need, no matter what's being washed

Straight from Patric Richardson, the "Laundry Guy" himself.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

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Top Splash

People think a Weimaraner was a 'human in a past life' because of his classy table manners

He just sits there and enjoys the conversation.

via Liana S./Pexels

A respectable Weimaraners sits on the rug.

It’s incredibly rare to see a dog, especially a large one, sitting upright at a dinner table. It’s probably even more rare to see one that isn’t bothering with any food. That’s why a video posted by Federica Finocchiaro has captivated the public.

In a video seen over 2.3 million times on TikTok, Federica Finocchiaro shares how her dog, Grayson, a Weimaraner, is a very polite table guest.

“Does anyone else's dog just sit at the table?” Finocchiaro asked as she and her mother, Domenica Vinci, enjoyed breakfast together. “He just sits with us, and we didn't make him sit here... He just loves the company,” she continued.

Finocchiaro then shared a video of Grayson sitting with the family on Christmas. “My mom and I will come downstairs, or we'll be doing something and he's just sitting at the table casually,” said Finocchiaro. “He never tries to eat the food that we're eating—ever.”

@federicafinocchiaro_

Love u grayson #greenscreen #dog #puppy #funnydogs #fyp #wiemeraner #dogsoftiktok #dogtok #foryoupage #pup

Love u grayson #greenscreen #dog #puppy #funnydogs #fyp #wiemeraner #dogsoftiktok #dogtok #foryoupage #pup

Some people in the video's comments speculated about Grayson’s past. "He was human in a past life for sure," Ariel T wrote. “He thinks he's human,” David added.

"His love language is quality time," nonshowbizgf wrote.

Even though it seems strange that a dog would want to hang out at a dinner table, it could be because Weimaraners are very dedicated to their owners. “They can get depressed and act out if they are ignored,” the American Kennel Club wrote on its website. “This can lead to separation anxiety problems, notes the Weimaraner Club of America, so it’s important to teach puppies that there will be times when they will have to be on their own.”


Joy

'Tough love': Woman shares why husbands promise to be equal partners, but never change

"It doesn’t benefit him to change."

via Timur Weber/Pexels

A couple arguing on the couch.

Research shows that couples are becoming more egalitarian as it pertains to income. But when it comes to the division of domestic labor and taking care of families, there is still a considerable gap between the work done by men and women in heterosexual marriages.

Consider this: the average woman dedicates 4.6 hours per week to housework, while men contribute only 1.9 hours. Furthermore, women spend nearly 2 more hours on caregiving, including child-rearing than men.

Men and women are still having a hard time creating equal partnerships, and, more often than not, it means that women are the default parents of their children. They are also in charge of domestic duties and often have to make lists for their husbands and nag them to do their part.

​Abby Eckel, a popular social media wife and mother, thinks this needs to end and uses her considerable platform to push to equalize domestic labor. In a video with over 900,000 views, she explains the harsh truth of why some men take advantage of their wives and refuse to change.

This is a harsh truth. But it needs to be said. He simply doesn't care. 

@itsme_abbye

This is a harsh truth. But it needs to be said. He simply doesn't care. It should not take conversation after conversation after conversation for your husband/boyfriend/partner to list, learn, and change. It's because he doesn't care. It doesn't benefit him to change. Approaching your husband AGAIN to discuss household inequity is likely to fall on deaf ears because he has been EXPLOITING your time, energy and labor. And if he didn't care when he started doing it, he sure as shit isn't going to care now. And he likely knows there will be no consequence when he doesn't. Because again, this probably isn't the first time this conversation has been had. And nothing happened the last time you had, so why would it happen no? This is the very reason I tell women who are early in relationships, and those that are single - start out as you mean to go on. This requires setting boundaries for yourself and the person you're in a relationship with. Be clear and upfront on what you expect out of it, what you will and won't do. Because the second you start cleaning up his place, or your shared space, doing his laundry, looking after and caring for pets without setting firm expectations, you'll soon find yourself being the sole owner and doer of those tasks. And trying to set boundaries after the fact - AFTER a man has benefited from you doing it, isn't likely to happen. #marriage #datingadvice #relationshiptips #marriedlife

“This is going to sound harsh, but I think a lot of people actually just really need to hear the truth, and it’s because he doesn’t care. It doesn’t benefit him to change,” she says in the viral video.

“Approaching your husband again to discuss an issue, whether it’s household inequity, you not feeling considered, or you not feeling like he’s putting any time and effort into it, is likely going to fall on deaf ears because he’s been exploiting your time, your labor, your energy and if he didn’t care when he started doing it, he’s not going to care now,” Eckel continues.

Unfortunately, according to Eckel, if there are no consequences for refusing to be an equal partner, he won’t change. She equates it to parents who make threats to child children but don't follow through.

“Eventually, things are going to go back to how they were. You’re going to stop nagging him and he’s going to be fine with it. Until you bring it up again. And then again, nothing happens because there’s no consequences. So why would he want to change?” she says.

Eckel believes the key to avoiding this trap is to set firm boundaries at the beginning of the relationship.

“Be clear and upfront on what you expect out of it, what you will and won’t do,” she continues. “Because the second you start cleaning up his place, or your shared space, doing his laundry, looking after and caring for pets without setting firm expectations, you’ll soon find yourself being the sole owner and doer of those tasks, and trying to set boundaries after the fact — after a man has benefited from you doing it, isn’t likely to happen.”

Obviously, not all men have problems doing their fair share of domestic labor in a family. Eckel made another video in which she shares the positive qualities that an equal partner brings to the table.

"I don't have to make him a list."

"I don't have to ask him to help with things around the house."

"He knows how to shop at the grocery store without pictures."

"He doesn't expect me to handle everything alone."

"He plans date nights without me having to beg for it."

"He does his own laundry."

"He makes his own appointments."

"My stocking has never been empty."

"He makes his kids' lunches in the morning."

"He makes his son's therapy appointments and takes his son to them."

"He doesn't believe that just because he goes to work, he shouldn't have to do anything when he gets home."

"He takes a genuine interest in me and my interests."

"He knows how to fold towels."

"He takes our kids to bed and knows our teachers' names."

"He doesn't make me feel bad if I'm not in the mood."

"He acknowledges and appreciates what I do and tells me often."

"He does basic adult tasks without being asked."

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