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Domestic violence survivors say Gabby Petito could have been saved, sharing a commonly missed 'red flag'

Strangulation survivors share Gabby Petito's red flag
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Bodycam footage of Gabby Petito

It's common news at this point that the cause of death for young aspiring influencer Gabby Petito was strangulation. But to the survivors of domestic abuse, the tell-tale signs were clear long before the headlines came out.

In a recent interview with BuzzFeed, 35-year-old Kayla Walters reflected on her own experience following Petito's case on social media. In particular, the released bodycam footage where Petito described an aggressive lover's quarrel with fiance Bryan Laundrie. As BuzzFeed put it, "As she watched the video, Walters was sure that Petito had been at risk of strangulation, and with it, death."

Why? Because Walters saw how Petito demonstrated Laundrie's violent face grab during the fight. That's all. But for survivors of strangulation like Walters, that small aggressive gesture is the only red flag needed.

"If he [Brian Laundrie] could do that, he could go further," Walters told BuzzFeed News, and she wasn't the only one who thought so. She continued that "A lot of survivors thought the same thing ... Just by her saying, 'He grabbed my face.'"



According to research published by the National Institute of Justice, people whose partners have attempted to choke or strangle them in the past are nearly 10 times more likely to be murdered than others.

BuzzFeed noted that red flags can include: "Any intimate partner nonconsensually putting their hands around someone's throat or face [as with Brian Laundrie], tying a scarf, tie, belt, rope, or other object around the neck without consent, or exhibiting a capacity for jealousy or control, such as tracking their partner's location, lashing out if they don't receive an immediate response to a text message, or separating the victim from their friends and family."

Unfortunately, this is not something the masses are made aware of, including our law enforcement. Domestic violence is an insidious torture both men and women endure, one that remains kept in the shadows due to shame, fear and, perhaps worst of all, acceptance of "that's just the way it is." We are not taught to catch the warning signs for ourselves and others, and the consequences, such as with Gabby Petito, can be life-ending.


Survivors of domestic abuse soon gathered on social media to speak out on the widespread lack of awareness the general public has. For them, it was an all-too-common image.

"Everybody knew before the [coroner's] report came out how she died," Kit Hunt, 52, a strangulation survivor in Austin, told BuzzFeed News. "We need to talk about how common this is ... How survivors are treated ... We're not believed ... We focus on the crime, and then everybody forgets about it. We need more discussion, that's what's missing."

Considering that 1 in 4 women will experience violence from an intimate partner, and 68% will experience near-fatal strangulation (and even then, only half will even have any visible signs of injury), I'd agree that a discussion is definitely needed.

Even when the strangulation is fatal, only half show visible signs of injury, according to the Training Institute of Strangulation Prevention. This makes strangulation cases difficult to detect, nearly impossible to report and easy to dismiss. But we can improve these statistics with education. Though the public social media craze that followed Gabby Petito's case has been a controversy in itself, perhaps its public revelations will also inspire more public awareness, leaving victims in better circumstances.

If any silver lining is to come of Gabby Petito's tragedy (and the tragedy of many, many more), it's that there is a real call for change. Rather than a sensational true crime story, let's treat this as what it really is: a chance to help others not become victims.

If you're looking to find more informational resources, or a safe place to share your story and seek help, many survivors have joined the private Facebook group Justice for Gabby.

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A better world begins with a pair of socks–how small acts of kindness create big change

A little comfort goes a long way.

All images provided by Bombas

We can all be part of the giving movement

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We all know that small acts of kindness can turn into something big, but does that apply to something as small as a pair of socks?

Yes, it turns out. More than you might think.

A fresh pair of socks is a simple comfort easily taken for granted for most, but for individuals experiencing homelessness—they are a rare commodity. Currently, more than 500,000 people in the U.S. are experiencing homelessness on any given night. Being unstably housed—whether that’s couch surfing, living on the streets, or somewhere in between—often means rarely taking your shoes off, walking for most if not all of the day, and having little access to laundry facilities. And since shelters are not able to provide pre-worn socks due to hygienic reasons, that very basic need is still not met, even if some help is provided. That’s why socks are the #1 most requested clothing item in shelters.

homelessness, bombasSocks are a simple comfort not everyone has access to

When the founders of Bombas, Dave Heath and Randy Goldberg, discovered this problem, they decided to be part of the solution. Using a One Purchased = One Donated business model, Bombas helps provide not only durable, high-quality socks, but also t-shirts and underwear (the top three most requested clothing items in shelters) to those in need nationwide. These meticulously designed donation products include added features intended to offer comfort, quality, and dignity to those experiencing homelessness.

Over the years, Bombas' mission has grown into an enormous movement, with more than 75 million items donated to date and a focus on providing support and visibility to the organizations and people that empower these donations. These are the incredible individuals who are doing the hard work to support those experiencing —or at risk of—homelessness in their communities every day.

Folks like Shirley Raines, creator of Beauty 2 The Streetz. Every Saturday, Raines and her team help those experiencing homelessness on Skid Row in Los Angeles “feel human” with free makeovers, haircuts, food, gift bags and (thanks to Bombas) fresh socks. 500 pairs, every week.

beauty 2 the streetz, skid row laRaines is out there helping people feel their beautiful best

Or Director of Step Forward David Pinson in Cincinnati, Ohio, who offers Bombas donations to those trying to recover from addiction. Launched in 2009, the Step Forward program encourages participation in community walking/running events in order to build confidence and discipline—two major keys to successful rehabilitation. For each marathon, runners are outfitted with special shirts, shoes—and yes, socks—to help make their goals more achievable.

step forward, helping homelessness, homeless non profitsRunning helps instill a sense of confidence and discipline—two key components of successful recovery

Help even reaches the Front Street Clinic of Juneau, Alaska, where Casey Ploof, APRN, and David Norris, RN give out free healthcare to those experiencing homelessness. Because it rains nearly 200 days a year there, it can be very common for people to get trench foot—a very serious condition that, when left untreated, can require amputation. Casey and Dave can help treat trench foot, but without fresh, clean socks, the condition returns. Luckily, their supply is abundant thanks to Bombas. As Casey shared, “people will walk across town and then walk from the valley just to come here to get more socks.”

step forward clinic, step forward alaska, homelessness alaskaWelcome to wild, beautiful and wet Alaska!

The Bombas Impact Report provides details on Bombas’s mission and is full of similar inspiring stories that show how the biggest acts of kindness can come from even the smallest packages. Since its inception in 2013, the company has built a network of over 3,500 Giving Partners in all 50 states, including shelters, nonprofits and community organizations dedicated to supporting our neighbors who are experiencing- or at risk- of homelessness.

Their success has proven that, yes, a simple pair of socks can be a helping hand, an important conversation starter and a link to humanity.

You can also be a part of the solution. Learn more and find the complete Bombas Impact Report by clicking here.

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The show must go on… and more power to her.

There are few things that feel more awful than being stranded at the altar by your spouse-to-be. That’s why people are cheering on Kayley Stead, 27, from the U.K. for turning a day of extreme disappointment into a party for her friends, family and most importantly, herself.

According to a report in The Metro, on Thursday, September 15, Stead woke up in an Airbnb with her bridemaids, having no idea that her fiance, Kallum Norton, 24, had run off early that morning. The word got to Stead’s bridesmaids at around 7 a.m. the day of the wedding.

“[A groomsman] called one of the maids of honor to explain that the groom had ‘gone.’ We were told he had left the caravan they were staying at in Oxwich Bay (the venue) at 12:30 a.m. to visit his family, who were staying in another caravan nearby and hadn’t returned. When they woke in the morning, he was not there and his car had gone,” Jordie Cullen wrote on a GoFundMe page.

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The modern justice system is certainly not without its flaws, however most can agree that the concept of “innocent until proven guilty” is one that (when not abused) stands as the foundation of what fair due process looks like. This principle, it turns out, isn’t so modern at all. It can actually be traced all the way back to nearly 3,800 years ago.

historyLady Justice, the image of impartial fairness. Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

English barrister Sir William Garrow is known for coining the "innocent until proven guilty" phrase between the 18th and 19th century, after insisting that evidence be provided by accusers and thoroughly tested in court. But this notion, as radical as it seemed at the time, can, in fact, be credited to an ancient Babylonian king who ruled Mesopotamia.

During his reign from 1792 to 1750 B.C., Hammurabi left behind a legacy of accomplishments as a ruler and a diplomat. His most influential contribution was a series of 282 laws and regulations that were painstakingly compiled after he sent legal experts throughout his kingdom to gather existing laws, then adapted or eliminated them in order to create a universal system.

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Dr. Daniel Mansfield and his team at the University of New South Wales in Australia have just made an incredible discovery. While studying a 3,700-year-old tablet from the ancient civilization of Babylon, they found evidence that the Babylonians were doing something astounding: trigonometry!

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