Ever heard of union hero Joe Hill? He's missing from most history books today.

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Joe Hill remains a legend and an inspiration today.

If you're a fan of folk music or lyrics about working people, you might be familiar with the song "Joe Hill."

The song, originally written as a poem by Alfred Hayes, has been performed for decades by the likes of Paul Robeson, Joan Baez (at Woodstock in 1969), Phil Ochs, and Billy Bragg.

Among the more memorable renditions is a version by Bruce Springsteen, who plays it here. Go ahead and start it playing while you read about who Joe Hill really was.

The song's lyrics recall a dream where Joe Hill, a workers' hero who was likely framed on a murder charge and sentenced to death, returns in a seemingly spectral form, symbolizing the spirit of the labor movement.

"I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're 10 years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he..."

Joe Hill isn't a fictional character. He was a poet, songwriter, and a union activist.

(He also inspired the famous union phrase "Don't mourn, organize!" — but more on that later.)

Born Joel Emmanuel Hägglund, he came to the U.S. from Sweden in the early 1900s with the hopes of finding work. He adapted to his new home by changing his name to Joseph Hillstrom, which he later shortened to Joe Hill once he began to write songs.

Upon arrival in New York City, he sought employment as a migrant laborer but found opportunities sporadic and sometimes nonexistent. This sparked his interest in a labor union, which would give him and his coworkers a voice on the job no matter where they worked.

Image in public domain.

He found his calling when he discovered the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW).

One of the IWW rallying cries was "one big union," and its goal was uniting every working person worldwide into one union. That sat very well with Hill.

Having been raised in a musical family, he began writing songs, poems, and powerful speeches after joining the IWW. He became the resident lyricist and a frequent cartoonist.

Hill wrote songs about all different types of IWW members, from immigrant factory and railway workers to itinerant laborers moving across the country from job to job. His songs inspired people — and still do today.

His popularity grew when the IWW published the first version of its "Little Red Songbook" in 1909. The musical collection, bearing the subtitle "Songs to Fan the Flames of Discontent," was made up mostly of Hill's compositions.

The first edition of "The Little Red Songbook." Image by Hunter Gray.

It included the song "There Is Power in a Union" about ... well, power in a union, and "The Preacher and the Slave," about how religion causes people to fight for things in heaven rather than on earth:

You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die
[Crowd shouts, "That's a lie!"]

(This is, in fact, where the phrase "pie in the sky" was born.)

Hill would show up at picket lines and strikes across the country, getting the crowd energized and resolute.

His activism drew the attention of authorities, too.

In June 1913, he was arrested for "vagrancy" during a dockworkers strike in San Pedro, California, and put in jail for 30 days. The real reason for the incarceration, according to Hill, was that he "was a little too active to suit the chief of the burg."

So, Hill was on the radar of cops and politicians who didn't want to see unions establishing a presence in their towns. He may have been even more worrisome to authorities than other union leaders since he could energize the workers and reinforce their solidarity with song.

Cover of "The Rebel Girl" by Joe Hill. First published in "The Little Red Songbook," it was released as sheet music in 1915. Image in public domain.

But one cold night in 1914, a turn of events made Joe Hill's name internationally known.

Hill, who was in Salt Lake City to work in the mines, knocked on a doctor's door at 11:30 p.m., needing treatment for a gunshot wound to his chest.

Hill told the doctor he had been shot by a rival suitor for a woman's affection — he never did tell anybody her name.

On that same night, a former police officer named John Morrison, now a grocery store owner, and one of his sons were killed by two people who didn't rob the store.

The murders appeared to be motivated by revenge, perhaps a holdover from Morrison's previous career. Another of Morrison's sons witnessed the shooting and stated that one of the two killers shouted, "We've got you now!" before pulling the trigger.

(And just to note: At least four other people were shot in Salt Lake City that night; it's just kinda how things were back then.)

Salt Lake City, 1890, by Charles Roscoe Savage. Image in public domain.

The doctor who tended to Hill's injuries noted that it was a gunshot to the chest — the same kind as the shopkeeper's surviving son said occurred with the intruder who killed his father and brother.

Over the next few days, 12 different men were arrested for the killings — and each, in succession, was released.

Around the time that the 12th man was cleared, the doctor came forward and offered his patient as a possible suspect. Hill was arrested.

When the grocer's son who survived saw Joe, he stated, "That's not him at all!" However, a few days later after the publicity started and authorities knew they had the famous Joe Hill, he changed his mind and claimed it was definitely Hill he saw that night.

Several aspects of the case made Hill an unlikely suspect.

His injury, a shot through the left lung, would have bled profusely. Yet authorities did not find any blood in the store other than the victims'. No bullet was ever found, nor was there a motive; Joe did not know the shopkeeper, and the assailants didn't even take the money in the register.

The trial itself was a poor excuse for justice, according to author William Adler. Although two young, unknown attorneys volunteered to defend Hill, it became clear partway through that they weren't doing anything of the sort. Hill requested new lawyers, which the judge refused. From that point on, Hill refused to participate in the trial at all, and remained silent.

(In a letter written in 1949, the woman who was there when Hill was shot, Hilda Erickson, confessed that it was her former fiance and a friend of Joe Hill's, Otto Appelquist, who shot him that fateful night.)

After just a few hours, the jury found the 35-year-old guilty. He spent 22 months in prison while he awaited appeals of his sentence: execution by firing squad.

Image via Today in Labor History. Lyrics from the song "Workers of the World, Awaken!"

The IWW sought help from other labor unions around the world, and support began to build.

Backers demanding his release and a retrial sent tens of thousands of letters and circulated petitions.

Among those advocates were then-President Woodrow Wilson, the Swedish minister to the United States, 30,000 Australian IWW members, American Federation of Labor President Samuel Gompers, and trade unions across the world. Even Helen Keller, the famed deaf and blind activist (who also belonged to the IWW), wrote to the president on Hill's behalf.

The efforts targeted Utah Gov. William Spry, who had been elected to office on a platform that stated he would "sweep out lawless elements, whether they be corrupt businessmen or IWW agitators." Unsurprisingly, he did not intercede on Hill's behalf.

The IWW logo, featuring one of its main slogans: "An Injury to One Is an Injury to All." After Joe Hill was executed, it was really taken to heart.

The governor's record was clear: He had broken a large mineworkers strike and helped the Utah Copper Company bring in strikebreakers who used hired thugs to defeat the union there. Not surprisingly, this did not help Hill one bit.

There's a famous union phrase: "Don't mourn — organize!" Here's the origin story.

While in prison, Hill kept writing poetry, music, letters, and more. In a Aug. 15, 1915, article in the weekly political magazine Appeal to Reason, he stated:

"The main and only fact worth considering, however, is this: I never killed Morrison and do not know a thing about it. He was, as the records plainly show, killed by some enemy for the sake of revenge, and I have not been in the city long enough to make an enemy.

Shortly before my arrest I came down from Park City; where I was working in the mines. Owing to the prominence of Mr Morrison, there had to be a 'goat' and the undersigned being, as they thought, a friendless tramp, a Swede, and worst of all, an IWW, had no right to live anyway, and was therefore duly selected to be 'the goat'.

I have always worked hard for a living and paid for everything I got, and in my spare time I spend by painting pictures, writing songs and composing music.

Now, if the people of the state of Utah want to shoot me without giving me half a chance to state my side of the case, bring on your firing squads - I am ready for you. I have lived like an artist and I shall die like an artist."

In one of his last letters, when writing to IWW founding member and leader William Dudley Haywood (better known as "Big Bill" Haywood), he wrote these practical yet poignant words:

"Goodbye Bill. I die like a true blue rebel. Don't waste any time in mourning. Organize... Could you arrange to have my body hauled to the state line to be buried? I don't want to be found dead in Utah."

Haywood changed that to the phrase that has been used by union activists ever since: "Don't mourn — Organize!"

The memory of Joe Hill's words lives on in the hearts of working people the world over.

Hill died on Nov. 19, 1915. According to author Philip Sheldon Foner, when the firing squad was instructed, "Ready ... aim," Joe Hill himself issued the final order before the commander: "Yes, aim! Let 'er go. Fire!"

30,000 people came to his funeral in Chicago. Eulogies were translated into 10 languages. The mourners sang songs by Hill and shut down traffic for hours as the funeral procession stretched for miles. Many had IWW patches, pennants, and red ribbons with the words, "Joe Hill, murdered by the authorities of the state of Utah, November the 19th, 1915."

Especially in times like these, when unions in the United States are very much on the ropes, it's good to remember the words from "I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night," aka "Joe Hill" — "I never died, says he. I never died, says he."

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're ten years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he

In Salt Lake, Joe, says I to him
Him standing by my bed
They framed you on a murder charge
Says Joe, But I ain't dead
Says Joe, But I ain't dead

The copper bosses killed you, Joe
They shot you, Joe, says I
Takes more than guns to kill a man
Says Joe, I didn't die
Says Joe, I didn't die

And standing there as big as life
And smiling with his eyes
Joe says, What they forgot to kill
Went on to organize
Went on to organize

Joe Hill ain't dead, he says to me
Joe Hill ain't never died
Where working men are out on strike
Joe Hill is at their side
Joe Hill is at their side

From San Diego up to Maine
In every mine and mill
Where workers strike and organize
Says he, You'll find Joe Hill
Says he, You'll find Joe Hill

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're ten years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he

Joe Hill's story is nearly 100 years old, but it still is not often told in schoolhouses and history books today. Why do you think that is?

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

Expert reveals the one question to ask to make a great first impression in 9 seconds

There should be one focus when you meet someone new.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”

While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

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British language expert shares 7 American accents that are particularly tricky

Some of these are even challenging for other Americans to understand.

Olly Richards/YouTube

Have you ever heard these 7 unique American accents?

When you think about "American English," what comes to mind? The way we us a hard "r" compared to British English? The way we pronounce "aluminum" and "herbs"? How we say "cookies" instead of "biscuits" and "fries" instead of "chips"?

What about our different accents? While we often marvel about how many accents there are in the U.K. for its size, the U.S has a lot more diversity of accents than people might think. Most of us group American accents into large regional groupings like Northeast, Southern, Midwest, etc., and the people from each of those regions know that there are distinct accents within them (like Boston vs. New York, Tennessee vs. Mississippi). But there are even more hyper-localized accents and dialects that many of us are not exposed to, and some of them are hard even for other Americans to understand.

Language expert Olly Richards shared seven of these accents that are difficult to emulate and explained how they came to be. It's a fascinating celebration of the diversity that many of us aren't aware exists within our language.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. The YAT accent of New Orleans, Louisiana

Influenced by West African, German, Italian, Irish, and French immigrants who settled in Louisiana, the YAT accent is named for the way people say "Where you at?" in New Orleans. Words and phrases from this accent include "dawlin" (darling) "Mawmaw" (grandma) "prolly" (probably), "pass a good time" (have a good time), "Who dat?" (Who's that?), and "for noon" (at noon).

The YAT accent is distinct from a southern drawl or from the local Cajun English—it's more akin to a thick New York accent, which Richards says is due to the exact same immigrant groups settling there.

2. The High Tider accent of Outer Banks, North Carolina

Richards calls this an "endangered accent," as it appears to be dying out. It stems from immigration from the south of England and Ireland, but also from pirates of varying backgrounds who used the islands off the coast of North Carolina. The High Tider dialect developed in almost complete isolation for over 250 years, and is a form of archaic English that includes elements found in parts of Canadian English as well. A few words from this dialect include "quamish" (sick or nauseated), "buck" (male friend), and "dingbatter" (outsider).

miami, florida, miami english, accents, american english Miami has its own accent.Photo credit: Canva

3. The Miami English accent of Miami, Florida

Sitting at the tip of Florida, Miami has been heavily influenced by five decades of immigration from Cuba and other parts of the Caribbean as well as Central America. As a result, the English has many elements of Spanish pronunciations and rhythm. English has 20 vowel sounds, but Spanish has only five, so the Miami English accent reflects those Spanish vowel sounds.

4. The Southerner accent of the American South

Okay, this one is a bit fudgey because, as Richards points out, there are actually seven distinct southern accents. But there are some elements that Southerner accents share, one being how they speak more slowly than most of the rest of the country. Southern accent are known for their melodic nature and long, drawn-out vowels. Richards explains that wealthy British traders living in this part of the U.S. in the mid-1700s started dropping their "r" sound as a way to distinguish themselves from the lower classes. We can still hear that characteristic in southern accents today.

Yooper, U.P., upper peninsula, michigan, american accents "Yooper" refers to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, also known as the U.P.Photo credit: Canva

5. The Yooper accent of the Upper Midwest

This accent has its roots in German, Scandinavian, Cornish, French Canadian, and particularly Finnish, and is perhaps most recognized by its affinity for its use of the German-Scandinavian "ja" instead of "yes" and for ending sentences with "eh." Another feature is saying "dem/dere/dat" instead of them/there/that. The term "Yooper" comes from "U.P." or "Upper Peninsula," referring to the northern part of Michigan, but variations of this accent can be found along various parts of the Midwest near the Canadian border.

6. The Mainer accent of Maine

This accent is marked by the dropping of "r" sounds, but also adding an "r" where there shouldn't be one (similarly to the way British folks treat "r"). There also tends to be a slight gruffness in the throat when they speak. The accent is influenced by 17th century English and early French settlers, along with a bit of Scots-Irish. Words and phrases like "from away" (not from Maine), "drownded" (drown), "brung" (bring), and "chuppta" (What are you up to?) are common, and though its association with the working class caused it to dwindle, Richards says the Mainer dialect is having a bit of a renaissance.

Gullah, Georgia coast, atlantic, american accents, dialects Gullah is spoken along the coast of Georgia as well as Florida and the Carolinas.Photo credit: Canva

7. The Gullah accent of the Carolinas, Georgia, and Florida

This unique accent developed in the southern rice fields during the Atlantic slave trade. The enslaved peoples learned English, but it was heavily influenced by the various African languages they spoke, as well as the lower-class English and Irish servants they interacted with. Today, it's mostly African-Americans living along the Atlantic seaboard of North and South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida who use the Gullah dialect. The word "Kumbaya" comes from Gullah, which Richards describes as more than an accent or dialect—it's actually an American creole (a language that evolved from two other languages coming together).

It's easy to imagine the "standard" American English accent seen most often in Hollywood films and TV shows, which most closely aligns with the Western U.S., but in reality, American English is a mishmash of accents and dialects that are more diverse than many of us even know. What a delightful celebration of the English language in all of its colorful manifestations.

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If you struggle with small talk, a simple acronym can make it a lot less painful

All you have to remember is "FORD."

via Gary Barnes/Pexels

Small talk can be painful, but the FORD method can help.

Some people enjoy small talk and are naturally good at it. For others, it feels like mental and emotional torture. There are many reasons why people are nervous about entering social situations where they have to make small talk, such as a work event, a party where they don’t know many people, or at school. Some people don’t enjoy small talk because they get frustrated talking about seemingly unimportant topics.

At the same time, others are shy and afraid they’ll say the wrong thing or run out of topics of conversation. Psychologists suggest those who are uncomfortable knowing what to say should use the FORD method of conversation starters. It’s an acronym that’s an easy way to remember four different topics of conversation that work with just about anyone.

— (@)

According to Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T at Social Self, the FORD acronym stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Here are some examples of questions that fall under each category.

Family

Just about everyone has a family, so it’s a great way to ask someone to share some information about their personal lives without being too forward. Arzt suggests the following questions when making small talk:

family, small talk, ford method You can ask people about their parents, kids, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, or just family in general.Photo credit: Canva

Do you have any siblings?

How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)

How old is your child?

How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened?)

Occupation

Just like a family, almost everyone has a job. Or, if they do not, that can be an interesting topic as well. Here are some starter questions you can ask someone about their job.

jobs, occupations, ford method, small talke You can take questions about someone's occupation beyond simply, "What do you do?"Photo credit: Canva

What do you do for a living?

How do you like working at _____?

What’s your favorite part of your job?

What made you interested in becoming a _____?

Recreation

You can learn a lot about a person after knowing how they spend their free time. It’s also an excellent way to determine if someone is like-minded and shares the same interests. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling:

hobbies, what do you do for fun, recreation, ford method, small talk People often love talking about what they do for enjoyment outside of work. Photo credit: Canva

What do you like to do for fun?

Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show/book)?

What are you up to this weekend?

Dreams

Learning someone’s hope for the future can tell you much about who they are on a deeper level. They may have just told you about their current job or how they spend their time. But, ultimately, what do they wish to do with their lives? Here’s how to ask someone about their dreams.

hopes and dreams, ford method, small talke Asking people about their hopes and dreams can be a great way to make more meaningful small talk.Photo credit: Canva

Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?

Where would you like to travel?

What’s something you’d like to try in the future?

Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?

Arzt also notes that you shouldn’t just be an interviewer. You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual take-and-give. “Pay attention to someone else's answers and think about how you can draw from your own experience to connect," she wrote. When you're feeling socially anxious, it can be hard to listen to the other person while also thinking about your own responses, so thinking of the FORD acronym for yourself and having something to share in each category ahead of time can be a way to avoid the dreaded awkward silence that sometimes happens during small talk.

— (@)

It can also be tricky to know how much you should be talking vs. how much you should be listening. If you're not sure how much to say during a conversation, follow the 43:57 rule. A numbers guy at Gong.io analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.

Even though this insight is from business calls, it applies to everyday social interactions. It's really about listening and making the other person feel special. After all, who doesn't love feeling heard and appreciated?

Small talk doesn't have to be torturous, even if it's something you don't look forward to. With a little preparation and some genuine curiosity, it might even become enjoyable as you make new connections with people.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Award-winning health teacher shares why ‘purpose’ is key in raising boys to be successful men

Teens and young men need to feel they are contributing to the world.

via Christopher Pepper (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

Educator Christopher Pepper and scouts with a map.

Over the past decade or so, there has been a significant cultural push towards opening opportunities for girls to excel in traditionally male-dominated fields, such as STEM, or science, technology, engineering, and math. However, many feel that while we all looked to empower girls, boys fell by the wayside. Today's boys are growing up in a world where there is a lot of confusion surrounding masculinity, and they are slipping in both academics and social skills.

What can parents do to counter this decline and help their boys grow into productive, happy, and healthy men? Christopher Pepper, an award-winning health teacher, father of two boys, and co-author of the recently released Talk To Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow into Confident, Caring Young Men, says we can begin by giving them a sense of purpose.

How to give boys a sense of purpose

“I think the idea of purpose is really smart to bring up. That is something that we've seen really helps teenagers just have a concept of where their life is going, having a sense of contributing to the world,” Pepper told an audience at the 2025 Aspen Ideas: Health festival.

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Lisa Damour, a psychologist who specializes in adolescent development and host of the Ask Lisa podcast, added that this sense of purpose doesn't have to be "curing cancer." It can be as simple as setting the table or taking care of the dog. “That these much more attainable and frankly child-sized things can do the work of purpose until they are ready to think about the grand contributions they'll make to the world,” Damour said.

Pepper adds that boys who build a sense of purpose in their tween and teen years are likely to carry it with them into adulthood. Studies show that a sense of purpose in life can help prevent anxiety and depression in adolescents as well as adult males.

Finding meaning in a career

“I think we can do a lot with boys in particular to encourage them to move into caring roles like taking care of the dog, but being a camp counselor. Doing things where you're a mentor for a younger kid,” Pepper said. “And overall, I would love to see us encouraging more boys and men to go into caring professions. Think about being a teacher. Think about being a therapist. Think about going into medical care. To really see a push around that career option and say that can be your purpose. It can be a way that you contribute to the world, make a decent living, and have a satisfying life.”

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Pepper believes that it's parents and mentors' jobs to help boys consider purposeful careers that may not have been on their radar. There are many fields where men are in demand, but they just aren’t pursuing them. “Sometimes boys don't want to go into those [careers] because they're worried, 'What will people think of me?' Or they just don't see that that's a place for them,” Pepper told Upworthy. “So it's a little bit of breaking barriers, like making sure that we can say this is a place for you. It really helps to have men in those roles who can do some recruiting. We've actually seen a decline in the number of male teachers in classrooms.”

Instilling a sense of purpose in boys and young men can open up their world to greater possibilities and provide a sense of happiness and satisfaction that is hard for many to come by these days. In an era where many traditional institutions have fallen by the wayside and people are suffering through a crisis of meaning, a career path with a sense of purpose could mean the difference between falling through the cracks or thriving.

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Friendship

"It's you who keep me going": 81-year-old writes heartfelt text to his softball teammates

The younger team had no idea how much it meant to the man to be included in the league, and now we're all sobbing.

Sam Evanz/TikTok

81-year-old writes heartfelt text message to younger softball teammates in middle of the night.

It's not been a particularly great week on the Internet. No, scratch that—month. Actually, come to think of it, the last few years haven't been amazing. There's bad news everywhere we look. Divisiveness. Arguing. Violence.

Maybe that's why this small story of kindness and hope is resonating so deeply with everyone who comes across it. It's a simple story of people being good to one another, and that's what we need right now more than ever.

A mom named Sam Evanz occasionally shares updates about her husband's local softball team on TikTok. Recently, she posted an incredibly heartfelt message the team received from one of their teammates. The teammate just so happens to be an 81-year-old man.

Evanz's husband is on a 15-player casual team in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. One of the players is 81-year-old Nelson Bradbury. The oldest on the team by a solid margin, Bradbury recently took the chance to tell the guys just how much he appreciated the opportunity to play with them, even though he may not be the best athlete out there anymore.

"Well guys , just up to do my middle of the night pee. I have been laying in bed for the past half hour thinking about tonight's game and thinking about the great bunch of guys I am allowed to play with," the long text message begins, coming through at approximately 2:30 a.m.

"I really appreciate the way you guys treat me as an equal and not just an old fart. ... It's all of you who keep me going and give me the reason to get out of bed in the morning."

You'll just have to read the whole thing in Evanz's post to fully appreciate Bradbury's gratitude and contagious sense of humor.

TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com

Evanz was stunned when her post went massively viral, racking up nearly 15 million views as of this writing.

"The response has been pretty incredible!" she tells Upworthy, saying multiple international media outlets picked up the story including a sports reporter in Italy.

Commenters on the post were overwhelmed with appreciation for Bradbury. And, in an instant, fiercely protective of him.

"EVERYONE BETTER HAVE TEXTED BACK"

"AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BETTER HAVE TOLD HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO THE TEAM!"

"he’s been thinking this for a while but was scared to say it and i’m so glad he did. now if they didn’t respond we’re riding at dusk cause dawn is too far away."

"It’s just a game to you but for him it’s the reasons he gets up everyday"

The Philadelphia Eagles official TikTok account even chimed in: "Being a teammate is a special thing."

Nelson Bradbury stans will be happy to know that his teammates appreciated the message just as much as the rest of us do. Many of them wrote back the next morning, according to an update posted by Evanz.

"Glad to have ya you old fart!!!" one joked.

"You may not know this but it's your example that keeps a lot of us older... oops... mature players going," another said.

You can see a picture of the whole squad here:

team, community, softball, men, sports, friends TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com

The famous quote from playwright George Bernard Shaw says, "We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing."

Never has the quote been more fitting. Friendship, community, and even play are things all of us humans need. We only need it more as we age. Loneliness reduces our lifespan, while friendship improves not only our longevity but our happiness and quality of life. It may be a simple softball league, but it means a lot to the men who participate, and especially to Bradbury.

Bradbury has a terrific outlook on his life and on how he hopes to spend the rest of his days, of which there are hopefully many. Evanz says that Bradbury is having fun with all the viral attention, and he has even joined TikTok himself so he can keep up with all the mayhem.

"I don't know if I will get another year in the league or not," he writes in the original message. "Shit, I don't buy GREEN bananas any more. But I do know, this will be the year of ball play I will remember."

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