upworthy
More

Ever had to correct a racist relative? Here's a handy guide on how to do it.

You're minding your own business, scrolling the feed, liking pics of toddlers at the pumpkin patch, and suddenly there it is:

"I'm glad that illegals are facing consequences! Illegal immigration is ILLEGAL! I can't afford my doctor bills, why should I pay theirs?"

Oh. Hi, Aunt Linda.

[rebelmouse-image 19477283 dam="1" original_size="500x600" caption="GIF from "Cinderella."" expand=1]GIF from "Cinderella."

You know it's your job to collect her, right? (That's "collect" in casual vernacular meaning "make her stop" or "go pick her up and get her under control.") You're supposed to blow your ally whistle and snatch Aunt Linda so she can't do anymore harm.

But then this debate happens in your head:

She's wrong and she needs to know how wrong she is!

Whoa whoa whoa. She's from a different time.

Tell her off, right there on her Facebook page!

I don't want to offend her, though. And hey, everybody starts somewhere.

That's white supremacy talking! Unfriend her! No mercy!

Be kind — try to understand her point of view!









It's a tough call. You know you should deal with Aunt Linda. But how?

How do you wade through the swamp of warring voices in your head? How do you collect Aunt Linda?

Fear not: We're here to guide you through it. Stop chewing your fingernails, and let's get to work.

1. Know your goal.

First, let's redefine "collect."

It's not your job to save Aunt Linda's soul. It is your job to make her uncomfortable about casually demonizing immigrants on the internet.

When you collect folks, don't worry about being perfect. Your goal is to speak up, challenge racist ideas, make mistakes, learn from them, and keep going.

Think of yourself as a human Taboo buzzer when a friend, relative, or back-asswards stranger strays into unacceptable territory. It's not OK, Aunt Linda!

2. Be patient. Invest in the "half-wokes."

It takes time to help people empathize. Don't expect a sudden transformation.

Aunt Linda might not change today, but guess who else read her post? A whole crew of half-woke white people who see that her post was cruel and racist but also don't fully understand the politics of why. They have good intentions but have not yet learned that intentions don't really matter unless they act on them.

Invest your time and energy in those people. Some of them will get defensive and storm off. But others will grow. Remember that when you reply to Aunt Linda, those people are reading (and learning).

3. Get angry.

Yes. Aunt Linda has just said something really offensive. You get to be pissed off about that!

Anger is the appropriate emotional response to witnessing the systematic and interpersonal dehumanization, humiliation, and violence against other human beings.

4. But don't get too angry.

Boy oh boy, does it feels good to lay into a racist without mercy! The problem is that's not your anger.

You're angry with Aunt Linda on behalf of other people — the people of color she wants to deport who have to hear her say "all lives matter." And the madder you get, the better you feel. You are genuinely mad, but be honest:  You're also kind of impressed with yourself.

Recognize what exactly you're doing here. You're stealing anger rooted in someone else's suffering and harvesting its fruit to feed YOUR pride. If you're getting angry about other people's pain, then your anger had better be serving those people, not yourself. So yes, get angry. But never forget whose anger it is.

5. Hit the books.

The tools of your trade are facts, stats, knowledge, and more facts. Here's an example of a helpful response:

"Aunt Linda, it's a common assumption that undocumented immigrants drain public resources. But actually, most undocumented immigrants pay taxes and contribute to social security, are employed, and aren't even eligible for most social safety nets. Check out this article: 'Do Undocumented Immigrants Overuse Government Benefits?' Or this one: 'Immigration Myths Debunked.'"

Not only will you be rooting your argument in fact, but you'll also be sharing resources with those other conversation watchers who can turn around and share them with their Aunt Lindas, too.

Include a couple of salient details in your comment; don't just post a link as your entire response. And never forget to check your sources.

6. Assume everyone is capable of learning.

Many of us white allies make excuses for people who say racist things — "She's so sheltered" or "He grew up in the South." These excuses help you blame a person's racist actions on something else, effectively claiming they're irreversibly racist. Not only is that untrue, but it says something about you, too.

What you might not realize is that you're side-stepping and, worse, enabling. Don't get it twisted: Making excuses for racists turns you into an apologist.

Every person who can type something racist on the internet is also capable of typing something not racist on the internet. Stop inventing excuses for them.

7. Remember you're not anyone's hero.

Collecting people is highly visible and often dramatic. As these conversations get heated, responses get more poetic, powerful, visceral, and staunch. Sometimes you'll type or say something transcendently awesome, and you'll feel like anchorman Ron Burgundy.

[rebelmouse-image 19477284 dam="1" original_size="460x248" caption="GIF from "Anchorman."" expand=1]GIF from "Anchorman."

When you catch yourself trying to get in the spotlight, stop.

"It's obvious to everyone, it creates aggravating extra work for the people of color you want to help, and it's a transparent bid for everyone to recognize that you are one of the good ones," explains Mia McKenzie of Black Girl Dangerous.

Stay focused. Your job isn't to show off how great an ally you are; it's to show Aunt Linda that what she said was wrong and to protect the people she's hurting.

Along those lines, if you're ever in that conversation with Aunt Linda and your friend Ana hops on to offer her perspective as a daughter of immigrants, your job just changed. Your turn to talk has ended; you are now the "liker" of everything Ana says and the bodyguard who protects Ana's space to speak.

Remember, you are not the hero, and this isn't about you. Stay focused.

8. Be brave, and don't give up.

If you're doing this right, Aunt Linda will get mad at you, you will lose friends, and you will get a reputation for being an evangelical anti-racist. But if you are as anti-racist as you like to think you are, then you won't be scared of the consequences of speaking up about it.

You still have it easier than people of color because you still get to choose when and where you engage in conversations about race. If you're tired, imagine how exhausted people of color must be. If you feel hopeless, keep going as if you had no other choice because the people you're fighting for do not.

Show up. Speak up. Go collect your racist aunt. That's what integrity looks like.

This story was originally published on Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

Badge
Subaru
Subaru
Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

A plane full of strangers restores our faith in humanity, zoo animals give adorable interviews, kids have their wishes granted, and much more.

Five new stories this week that restore our faith in humanity.

True

Need a timeline cleanse? Of course you do. No matter what kind of week you’re having, we bet these five feel-good news snippets will leave you smiling.

This week we’re celebrating:

This Texas woman's breastfeeding superpower

Alyse Ogletree / The Guardian

Texas mom Alyse Ogletree isn’t able to give away money to good causes—so she’s managed to donate something much harder to come by: breastmilk. Ogletree has selflessly donated a record amount of breastmilk (over 700 gallons!) to nourish thousands of premature and medically-fragile babies. Superwoman!

More wishes granted for children fighting critical illnesses

Make-A-Wish® supports kids and families facing critical illnesses, granting “wishes” unique to each child—everything from meeting a celebrity to redesigning their bedroom. Subaru is proud to have helped grant more than 3,600 wishes for kids in need through the Subaru Share the Love Event®. Even better? From now until January 2, Subaru is donating at least $300 to charities like Make-A-Wish® with every new Subaru purchased or leased.

A plane full of strangers helps a struggling single mom

@notaregularnanny Sobbing crying making this video ❤️‍🩹🥲 my faith in humanity was restored after this whole experience #ittakesavillage #myvillage #motherhood #solotravel #solomom #travelingwithkids #stranded #momsoftiktok #faithinhumanityrestored ♬ Outro by m83 - 𝙡𝙤𝙡𝙖

When her flight was canceled, Gabrielle G., a 27-year-old single parent, boarded a flight back home to Florida with her 18-month-old son. Traveling solo with a toddler is a daunting task—but in a now-viral video, Gabrielle shares how a slew of helpful strangers made the trip bearable, offering their seats and entertaining her son while her plane was stuck on the tarmac for hours. More of this, please, humanity!

This bald eagle's new foster baby

World Bird Sanctuary

When a large, male bald eagle started guarding something on the ground at the World Bird Sanctuary in Missouri, keepers discovered that he had become fiercely protective over a rock. Thinking it was an egg, the eagle, named Murphy, began sitting on it, nudging it, and guarding it protectively (which is classic male eagle behavior, his keepers say, as they share equally in bird-raising and have a strong paternal instinct).

Months later, an eagle chick was brought to the sanctuary after surviving a fall from its nest. When keepers put the baby bird and Murphy in the same enclosure, Murphy’s fatherly instincts kicked into high gear, feeding the baby himself. Now, Murphy has a baby of his very own.

These hilarious animal interviews

In a stunning feat of investigative journalism (lol), YouTuber Maya Higa started a series titled “Tiny Mic Interviews,” where she approaches animals at the ZooToYou Conservation Ambassadors with a tiny microphone and asks them the burning questions we all want to know, including “Can I please touch your snoot?” and “What’s your favorite thing about being a capybara?”

Higa “translates” their answers into text on screen, and the results are adorable. BRB, watching this series all day.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

From Your Site Articles
uplifting
Pop Culture

'Wicked' author reveals how one line in 'The Wizard of Oz' inspired Elphaba and Glinda's story

Gregory Maguire says he "fell down to the ground" laughing when the idea hit him.

Public domain

Gregory Maguire was inspired by a line in the original 1939 film "The Wizard of Oz."

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book or listened to a piece of music and wondered, "How did they come up with that idea?" The creative process is so enigmatic even artists themselves don't always know where their ideas come from, so It's a treat when we get to hear the genesis of a brilliant idea straight from the horse's mouth. If you've watched "Wicked" and wondered where the idea for the friendship between Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) and Glinda (the Good Witch) came from, the author of the book has shared the precise moment it came to him.

The hit movie "Wicked" is based on the 20-year-old hit stage musical, which is based on the novel "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West" written by Gregory Maguire. While the musical is a simplified version of the 1995 book, the basic storyline—the origins of the two witches from "The Wizard of Oz"—lies at the heart of both. In an interview with BBC, Maguire explained how Elphaba and Glinda's friendship popped into his head.

Maguire was visiting Beatrix Potter's farm in Cumbria, England, and thinking about "The Wizard of Oz," which he had loved as a child and thought could be an interesting basis for a story about evil.

"I thought 'alright, what do we know about 'The Wizard of Oz' from our memories,'" he said. "We have the house falling on the witch. What do we know about that witch? All we know about that witch is that she has feet. So I began to think about Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West…

"There is one scene in the 1939 film where Billie Burke comes down looking all pink and fluffy, and Margaret Hamilton is all crawed and crabbed and she says something like, 'I might have known you'd be behind this, Glinda!' This was my memory, and I thought, now why is she using Glinda's first name? They have known each other. Maybe they've known each other for a long time. Maybe they went to college together. And I fell down onto the ground in the Lake District laughing at the thought that they had gone to college together."

In "Wicked," Glinda and the Wicked Witch, Elphaba, meet as students at Shiz University, a school of wizardry. They get placed as roommates, loathe each other at first, but eventually become best friends. The story grows a lot more complicated from there (and the novel goes darker than the stage play), but it's the character development of the two witches and their relationship with one another that force us to examine our ideas about good and evil.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

Maguire also shared with the Denver Center for Performing Arts what had inspired him to use the "Wizard of Oz" characters in the first place.

"I was living in London in the early 1990’s during the start of the Gulf War. I was interested to see how my own blood temperature chilled at reading a headline in the usually cautious British newspaper, the Times of London: 'Sadaam Hussein: The New Hitler?' I caught myself ready to have a fully formed political opinion about the Gulf War and the necessity of action against Sadaam Hussein on the basis of how that headline made me feel. The use of the word Hitler – what a word! What it evokes! When a few months later several young schoolboys kidnapped and killed a toddler, the British press paid much attention to the nature of the crime. I became interested in the nature of evil, and whether one really could be born bad. I considered briefly writing a novel about Hitler but discarded the notion due to my general discomfort with the reality of those times. But when I realized that nobody had ever written about the second most evil character in our collective American subconscious, the Wicked Witch of the West, I thought I had experienced a small moment of inspiration. Everybody in America knows who the Wicked Witch of the West is, but nobody really knows anything about her. There is more to her than meets the eye."

Authors and artists—and their ideas—help hold a mirror up to humanity for us to see and reflect on who we are, and "Wicked" is one of those stories that makes us take a hard look at what we're seeing in that mirror. Thanks, Gregory Maguire, for launching us on a collective journey that not only entertains but has the potential to change how we see one another.

From Your Site Articles
wicked
Heroes

Toddler falls into pool and becomes his own hero thanks to survival swimming classes

He immediately knew what to do until help arrived.

Photo credit: Canva

17-month-old saves himself after falling in pool

There's nearly nothing more terrifying than your small child falling into a body of water when you're not looking. It's something that parents have nightmares about while some parents are left grieving that nightmare becoming reality. Accidents around pools are very common, resulting in massive public safety announcements about ways to keep kids safe around bodies of water.

There are initiatives ranging from discouraging parents from using Puddle Jumpers to making sure parents know to avoid putting blue bathing suits on children. Blue bathing suits makes it harder for people to see if a child has gone under water and the popular Puddle Jumpers give kids false confidence and teaches them improper form for swimming. But one of the most important message to parents has been to make sure your children know basic water safety skills and learn to swim.

Typically when small children fall into a pool while briefly unsupervised they panic causing them to quickly become submerged, sinking to the bottom of the pool. The drowning child is then only rescued if a parent, caregiver, older sibling or family dog sees them and jumps into action. But for one San Diego family, their 17-month old knew exactly what to do when he was running by the pool and fell inside. The entire thing was caught on home surveillance camera, piquing interest in the life saving swim lessons.

girl in white tank top on swimming pool during daytime Photo by Rendy Novantino on Unsplash

Little Frankie had been taking Infant Self Rescue (ISR) water safety training for months where the instructor teaches babies how to prepare for falling into water before righting themselves and floating. Watching the video you can see the training immediately kick in as the boy realizes he's going into the water. He immediately takes a deep breath as he's falling. While his little feet were above his head he didn't panic, he maneuvered his body until he could safely turn over to take a breath.

The baby floats on his back until his father sees him. Frankie's dad runs to his side only to stop for a minute in shock that his son was perfectly fine. He saved himself from a possible deadly situation by doing exactly what he was taught to do through those survival swim lessons.

boy in red t-shirt playing with water Photo by Yianni Mathioudakis on Unsplash

"I immediately thought, 'oh my gosh, he did exactly what he was taught to do," Frankie's mom says in part to Fox 5 San Diego. "He did what he was supposed to do and those lessons were invaluable."

The instructor for the ISR classes says he has been inundated with class sign ups after the story of Frankie got out. Witnessing the training save a small child in a real-life situation that could've ended in tragedy encouraged parents to take this type of training more seriously. Thanks to the toddler's months of training, falling into the pool didn't cause him any fear around falling into the pool. The little guy might have thought it was just another part of his training, especially since his dad didn't panic and pulled the boy out of the pool quickly.

ISR lessons can be cost prohibitive but community centers and places like the YMCA offer swim lessons for people of all ages, including infants. They're not the same type of lessons but they all teach water safety, including floating. Learning how to be comfortable in and around water to include some basic water survival skills will help children have safer experiences around water.

From Your Site Articles
toddler falls in pool
Joy

Doorbell camera catches a UPS driver in a moment of contagious joy over a simple snack

Her adorable orangutan walk says it all.

@kenistoc/Reddit

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

From Your Site Articles
joy
Community

Louisiana church returns land to local Indigenous tribe in meaningful act of kindness

"You are now part of our history."

WVUE Fox 8|YouTube

In act of kindness Louisiana church returns land to Indigenous tribe

In recent years the Land Back Movement has come into public consciousness, it doesn't always necessarily mean physically return the land, but to return the stewardship of the land. Some Indigenous communities work with local government officials to care for the land in a way that will restore lost ecosystems and help the land thrive.

But in some recent instances, land has been physically returned to the local Indigenous communities. One example of physically returning land is California's governor Gavin Newsom returning 2,820 acres of ancestral land to the Shasta Indian Nation in Northwestern California. This move will help restore the natural environment to the area and allow the Shasta members to access sacred ceremonial ground.

a body of water surrounded by lush green trees Photo by Michael Sanchez on Unsplash

In Louisiana a small Indigenous community acquired some of their ancestral lands after the Coalition to Restore Coastal Louisiana started working with the Takapa Ishaq Chawasha tribe to protect the coastline with recycled oyster shells. But in order to move forward with their project they need to know who owns the property. After some searching, the group discovers the coastal area known as Lemon Tree Mound is owned by St. Pauls Episcopal Church.

A parishioner willed the land to the church after his death in the 80s and after the discovery that the land previously belonged to the tribe, the church has recently given it back.

Indigenous People Thanksgiving GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy

"We at the Episcopal church have strong commitments these days to restorative justice and to creation care. Maybe it's been a while in coming but better late than never," St. Paul's vestry member Greg Williams shares with WUVE Fox 8.

It's not just the local tribe that is excited for the land to be returned but their sister tribes have been expressing their excitement as well, tribal member Rosina Philippe tells the station, "even some of our sister tribes, you know. I got emails from different people saying, you know, doing that AH YEE YEE YEE YEE YEE in the email, spelling it out knowing that they're rejoicing and dancing with us."

The church leaders say they never hesitated to with the thought of giving the church back to the Indigenous tribe, calling the act "a very small thing" for the church. But that small act for the church was a huge thing for the Indigenous community in Louisiana.


"We're filled with gratitude first of all, and we're rejoicing to be connected to the land, to be tied into the land and you know, to have the land returned to the tribe. It's a rematriation, so connecting the tribe back to mother earth is more significant. You know, in that respect they may think it's a little thing but to us it's one of the best things that the church could ever have done. We're rejoicing. We're so very, very happy. It's a very big thing, a big thing," Phillipe says.

While the lemon trees are long gone, the oral history of how the land helped feed their ancestors and served as higher ground during flooding has been a memory passed down for generations. Since the land has been in the hands of the tribe for care, the recycled oysters used to build a barrier to protect the land's edge has grown coral and new oysters are beginning to thrive.

From Your Site Articles
church gives land back
Pop Culture

Mother and son gave Radiohead's 'Creep' an Indian twist that's moving people to tears

The 90s hit has been covered many times, but never like this.

Image credit: Avie Sheck/Instagram (used with permission)

Avie Scheck sings "Creep" while his mom harmonizes with a classical Indian song.

Musical and cultural mashups can be a blast, with some combos you'd never think to put together creating a whole new and delightful experience. We've seen "Carol of the Bells" mashed up with "Pirates of the Caribbean" on harp, Dr. Seuss mashed up with Dr. Dre beats, Irish step dancing to Beyonce's country music and now, Radiohead's "Creep" with classical Indian music.

Avie Sheck has played and sung in bands his whole life while his mother is trained as classical Indian singer. India has a rich musical tradition that goes back some 6,000 years, stemming from sacred Vedic scriptures and chants, and while the pairing of it with Radiohead may be unexpected, the result is quite extraordinary.

Check this out:

People are raving over the mother-son mashup using words like "stunning," "exquisite" and "sublime," with many people saying it unexpectedly brought them to tears.

"As a Creep cover snob, this is the very best cover I’ve ever heard."

"I feel like I am floating in space right now while listening to this rendition of creep."

"One of those rare covers that I actually welcome that hit right. 👏"

"I can’t even explain it, I got full body chills. Your mom is 🤌🏼 literally stopped in my tracks."

"Bro I’d pay to listen to this live. Amazing!!"

"Watching this live would melt me."

"I am crying … this has tugged at something 😭😭🥹🥹"

Clearly, they struck a nerve with this one.

Believe it or not, Radiohead's "Creep" wasn't a huge success when it was first released in 1992. It was rarely played on the radio because it was considered too depressing for angsty early 90s musical tastes, and it topped out at #78 U.K. Singles Chart. The BBC even banned it for a while due to the f-bomb lyric, but when that word was changed to "very" and the song re-released in 1993, it found its audience and climbed to No. 7 on the U.K. charts.

Since then, it's been covered many times, its sad lyrics about yearning for someone out of your league and feeling like you don't belong hitting people where it hurts (but in the best way) for over 30 years.

Sheck's mom shared what her part of the song meant in a follow-up video on Instagram. She explained that it's about a mother waking up her son to take care of the cows because his friends are already up and about and wondering where he is. But the deeper meaning, she explains, is "You belong here. You belong to the Earth, the people around you, the animals around you. Stop that sadness." What a perfect complement to "Creep."

Classical Indian music has its own sound, structure and feel that make it unique, but it also blends beautifully with other musical styles when creative people make it happen. For instance, at a wedding blending Indian and Scottish cultures, instruments from both countries—bagpipes and the dhol drum—were combined with a perfectly joyful result. Much like this classical Indian/Radiohead mashup, putting two unexpected musical genres together sometimes works far better than people might imagine.

People have asked if the song can be found on Spotify, Apple music, etc., but Sheck explained that he can't share it there because it's an interpolation, not a straight cover, which involves a lot more complicated legal details. The full version can be found on YouTube, however, and he said he may put it on Soundcloud.

You can follow Avie Sheck on Instagram for more and find the full version of the "Creep" cover on Sheck's YouTube channel:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

From Your Site Articles
music
Trending Stories