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Erykah Badu missed the mark on some recent tweets. Here's what we can all learn.

Here's why Badu's comments blame the victim, not the assaulter.

Erykah Badu is known for being an amazing performer and outspoken artist.

Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for All Def Digital.


However, the singer recently shared a series of concerning tweets about sexual assault in response to a story about school uniforms.

Badu’s discussion of male and female sexuality was sparked by an Auckland school instructing female students to lengthen their skirts so male teachers wouldn’t be distracted. Many were understandably outraged.

In a disappointing series of tweets, Badu told more than 17,000 Twitter followers why she supports lengthening school uniform skirts to make young girls less distracting to their male peers.





To which the internet was like:

GIF from "How to Get Away with Murder."

Badu's words reinforce a dangerous line of thinking, particularly for black women.

A 1998 study found that 7% of girls surveyed in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused. Another study from Black Women's Blueprint found that 60% of black girls reported having experienced sexual assault before reaching the age of 18. According to the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP) for every black woman who reports her rape, at least 15 remain silent.

Those numbers are disturbing, and those facts only become worse when women are told they are responsible for preventing their own assaults, rapes, and even murders.


"[U] have yet to explain how longer skirts would protect and not subject young women to the sexism of society," one person tweeted at her. To which Badu did acknowledge that men should be held accountable for managing their own reactions and behavior.



However, even with Badu’s acknowledgement of men's responsibility here, her tacit approval of a plan that asks girls to take equal responsibility for preventing themselves from being preyed on by men — adult men — is still problematic.

Her words reinforce the idea that girls are responsible for whether or not a man preys on them.

Protesters demand change on perceptions of rape and sexual assault. Image via iStock.

Like so many other women — and especially black women — I grew up with warnings to "be careful around men" and "not to wear certain things" as early on as childhood. These men that we were supposed to be wary of could be any men — from a man we encountered in the waiting room at the doctor's office or on the street waiting for a bus to even men in our own families.

The idea that revealing clothing makes a person more likely to be sexually assaulted is a myth that has been repeatedly debunked. While these points of caution are certainly well-intentioned, cautionary tales from parents trying to protect their children, telling girls to cover up so men aren’t tempted only serves to assert power to the claim that adult men are uncontrollable humans.

We validate the idea that a male desire for young girls is just a fact of nature, and by doing so, we don't just put girls in danger — we reduce boys and men to thoughtless, unrestrained beings with no free will.

When Badu tweets that it is “in his nature” for a heterosexual man to be attracted to a young woman in a short skirt, she gives power to dangerous men.

She justifies the actions of people like accused killer James Dixon, who admitted to brutally and fatally beating Islan Nettles earlier this year because of what she was wearing and the fact that she was transgender.

She implies that María José Coni and Marina Menegazzo, two young women traveling in South America who were murdered by two men who gave them a place to stay, asked for their deaths.

It implies that Anita Hill, who was sexually harassed by her boss, then-SCOTUS nominee Clarence Thomas, must have been at fault somehow, not the other way around — and that her account of what happened was invalid.

Actress Kerry Washington and professor of law at Brandeis University Anita Hill. Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images.

It suggests that the 11-year-old Texas child who was gang raped by 18 men is to blame because she was wearing makeup, not because those young men targeted her.

It implies that these women and girls would be better off taking precautions to ensure they do not become victims — as if their attackers wouldn't find other victims instead — rather than teaching men and boys they are responsible for their own behavior.

This line of thinking tells women around the world who have been assaulted in bars and clubs, churches and businesses, schools and homes, places of danger and places of comfort, that their rapes may be justified if the conditions are right to tempt a man. We invalidate and mock their experiences when we assert that their lives and their ability to say "no" really don't matter when a man’s “natural instincts” are involved.

In the past, Badu has used her artistic platform to call out misogyny in the hip-hop industry, which makes these tweets all the more confounding.

She has also spoken out many times about the unfair criminal justice system. To use her same voice and platform to blame young girls — school-age girls — for being distracting to their male classmates and adult male teachers who supposedly are incapable of retraining themselves against such temptation is dangerous.

Seeing these tweets from her — tweets that reinforce a misogynistic culture — is extremely disappointing and completely uncharacteristic of the typically badass, woke, and talented artist.

So, no, Ms. Badu. Let’s stop telling girls to dress differently. Instead, the next time a school decides to ask all female students to dress a certain way so as not to distract their adult male teachers (who, surely, are capable of exerting self-control) or male classmates, let’s remember why treating female bodies like they’re to blame for the actions of men is a slippery slope no one wants to fall down. Doing that is much more effective in the long run.

Joy

'90s kid shares the 10 lies that everyone's parent told them

"Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.


Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own.

Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.


“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."


This article originally appeared on 4.26.24

Pop Culture

Ever seen two cellists rocking out to an AC/DC song? It's amazing how well it works.

2Cello's genre-smashing "Thunderstruck" performance has been watched 260 million times.

2Cellos rocks the house with "Thunderstruck."

If someone said, "Name two genres of music on the opposite ends of the spectrum," heavy metal and classical music would be a logical answer. So when you hear that an AC/DC song being played on classical instruments, it can challenge the brain a bit.

(Some folks may ask, "Is AC/DC really considered heavy metal?" By today's standards, no. Compared to thrash, black and death metal, definitely not. But AC/DC has been lumped into the heavy metal genre by everyone from MTV to Encyclopedia Britannica, despite co-founder Angus Young saying they were just a rock band. At the very least, they were metal-adjacent, so let's roll with it.)

"Thunderstruck" is one of those songs people of all ages know at least part of, thanks to its frequent use in movies and television shows. In fact, it's so ubiquitous that when two cellists transition into it from a classical piece, it's instantly recognizable.


Of course, the way they headbang and literally shred their cello bows while playing it also helps.

The cellists dressing in period garb and playing for what looks like an audience of Mozart's creates a delightful contrast in addition to it being in impressive musical performance. There's a reason the 2Cellos "Thunderstruck" video has been viewed a whopping 260 million times on YouTube.

Watch and enjoy:

People's reactions since the video debuted in 2014 have ranged from humor to incredulity to admiration for the duo's mad cello skills:

"I used to be a fan, but after hearing this masterpiece 1000 times, I'm an air conditioner now."

"When you're into rock but your parents buy you a cello."

"Can’t believe AC/DC made a cover of a song from the 1700s."

"These guys are like the ultimate form of being classically trained but the teachers never let them have any fun."

"As a fellow cellist, the skill you're witnessing is incredible."

"As a bass player, it's incredible how they can play that with so much precision. It is truly incredible, love the music."

Many people in the comments have shared that they keep coming back to watch this again and again, even years later.

Luka and Hauser, the famous Croatian cellists responsible for this genre-smashing masterpiece, just ended their musical career together in May of 2023. As Total Croatia News reported, "Luka is more of a family man now, with three children and a wife, and Hauser continues to be ambitious, full of ideas and eager to keep going, conquering the world and playing his music everywhere. Having different approaches to life, they thought it was best to take separate paths but will still remain great friends."

However, you can still enjoy their past performances together on their YouTube channel here.


This article originally appeared on 10.25.23

Teddy Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Joe Biden and Barack Obama all having a laugh.

Like it or not, we’ve recently entered the age of artificial intelligence, and although that may be scary for some, one guy in Florida thinks it’s a great way to make people laugh. Cam Harless, the host of The Mad Ones podcast, used AI to create portraits of every U.S. president looking “cool” with a mullet hairstyle, and the results are hilarious.

The mullet is a notorious hairdo known as the "business in the front, party in the back" look. It's believed that the term "mullet" was coined by the rap-punk-funk group Beastie Boys in 1994.


While cool is in the eye of the beholder, Harless seems to believe it means looking like a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter and Kenny Powers from “Eastbound and Down.”

Harless made the photos using Midjourney, an app that creates images from textual descriptions. "I love making AI art," Harless told Newsweek. "Often I think of a prompt, create the image and choose the one that makes me laugh the most to present on Twitter and have people try and guess my prompt."

"The idea of Biden with a mullet made me laugh, so I tried to make one with him and Trump together and that led to the whole list of presidents,” he continued.

Harless made AI photos of all 46 presidents with mullets and shared them on Twitter, and the response has been tremendous. His first photo of Joe Biden with a mullet has nearly 75,000 likes and counting.

Here’s our list of the 14 best presidents with mullets. Check out Harless' thread here if you want to see all 46.

Joe Biden with an incredible blonde mane and a tailored suit. This guy takes no malarkey.

Donald Trump looking like a guy who has 35 different pairs of stonewashed jeans in his closet at Mar-a-Lago.

Barack Obama looking like he played an informant on "Starsky and Hutch" in 1976.

George H.W. Bush looking like he plays bass in Elvis's backing band at the International Hotel in Vegas in '73.

Gerald Ford looking like the last guy on Earth that you want to owe money.

"C'mon down and get a great deal at Dick Nixon's Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram, right off the I-95 in Daytona Beach."

"Who you calling Teddy? That's Theodore Roosevelt to you."

Grover Cleveland is giving off some serious steampunk vibes here.

Pray you never key Chester A. Arthur's Trans Am. If you know what's best for you.

Honest Abe? More like Honest Babe. Am I right?

Franklin Pierce looking like your favorite New Romantic singer from 1982. Eat your heart out, Adam Ant.

"Daniel Day Lewis stole my look in 'Last of the Mohicans.'" — John Tyler

Many have tried the tri-level mullet but few pulled it off as beautifully as James Madison.

Washington's mullet was like a white, fluffy cloud of freedom.

Find more cool, mulletted U.S. presidents here.


This article originally appeared on 3.1.23

Humor

Deaf woman shares list of ‘hearing anxieties’ after learning what others can actually hear

“Nobody should be able to hear that much…that’s not your business.”

Deaf woman shares 'hearing anxieties' after learning what others hear

People who were born hearing often can't imagine what it would be like to not hear the world around them. But since the world is set up around the capabilities of hearing people, there isn't much that would cause someone to think further into the experiences of deaf and hard of hearing (HoH) people.

But in many ways our ability to hear can cause deaf and HoH people anxieties that hearing people don't even consider. All the noises bodies make when people are just existing are recognized but easily tuned out by hearing people, though we use those body sounds as signals when needed.

Deaf people are not innately aware that bodies make noises without trying so when they become aware, some may develop a self consciousness around it. Recently a deaf woman shared that she got together with her friends to share their newer "hearing anxieties."


Scarlet May took to TikTok to share a list of what she and her deaf friends call "hearing anxieties." Hearing anxieties are basically things hearing people can hear that are normal that deaf people are or have been unaware others can hear. For instance, there's a story about a deaf student who had no idea other people could hear them pass gas until their teacher pointed it out. There was no mention of the child developing hearing anxiety around farting in school but it would be understandable if they did.

Sign Language Asl GIF by @InvestInAccessGiphy

"I was just with all my friends and we were sharing stories of our hearing anxieties. It's basically things we as deaf people didn't know that hearing people could hear," Scarlet says.

The young woman speaks quickly while also using American Sign Language (ASL), some users pointed out that her long nails clicking together while she signed was soothing, before wondering if she knew people could hear that. Some of the hearing anxieties may be surprising to hearing people but it makes sense when you think about what the realization must have been like.

talking sign language GIFGiphy

"First one we didn't know y'all can hear is our breathing. My friend said his boyfriend could tell he was mad just based off his breathing. Like he was huffing and puffing hard and then he was like, 'are you mad?' and he was like 'no why?' He was like, 'I can hear you breathing hard," the woman explains.

Hearing someone breathe isn't something people who are hearing think much about until they notice a change in someone's breathing pattern that can give clues into how the other person is feeling. Like Scarlet's friend, being angry changes a person's breathing pattern, so does being anxious, afraid and bored. Hearing people take these cues to offer up additional support ore recognize when someone might be upset with them.

Sign Language Please GIF by @InvestInAccessGiphy

"Number two, how can y'all tell when we're hungry? This one happened to me. I was starving and my friend was like, 'oh somebody's hungry,' and I was like 'what,' and she was like, 'I can hear your stomach.' Huh? Why can you hear so much that you can tell I'm hungry? That's weird. Nobody needs to hear that much," Scarlet says while seemingly irritated at the thought of people hearing hunger.

This is likely less helpful to hearing people than hearing breathing changes but it can come in handy in a pinch. If you're in a meeting with a rumbly tummy a friend sitting near you may silently offer you a snack to hold you over. It can also be helpful if someone is nonverbal and unable to communicate their hunger needs appropriately. But outside of that, many hearing people find it embarrassing for their belly to be angrily rumbling since there's no controlling it when you're trapped adulting with no food within reach.

@scarlet_may.1 hearing anxiety is so real 😭 #fyp ♬ original sound - Scarlet May

The last thing Scarlet lists is the fact that hearing people can hear people eating, saying, "this one, I do not like. Every time I'm eating around hearing people I'm always making sure I'm not too loud, even if I'm quiet I don't even know how much y'all can hear." She further explains that it causes her to become self conscious about it and attempt to change how she's eating. Commenters sympathized with Scarlet and her hearing anxieties, some even pointing out that they also feel like hearing people can hear too much.

One person writes, "The socially acceptable behavioral standard is to pretend like you don't hear any of those things. It's the polite thing to do."

Another shares, "I'm with you on all of this. I'm tired of hearing this much."

All That Nicksplat GIF by NickRewindGiphy

Someone commiserates with the anxiety, "I'm anxious about these things too and I'm not even deaf, especially the stomach one."

"As a hearing person I also think we don't need to hear that much. I can hear my blood flowing through my body, that's too much," one commenter cries.

"If it makes you feel any better we also are embarrassed when people know we are hungry or are breathing hard," another offers support.

You don't have to be deaf to be embarrassed or anxious about the sounds your body makes. Everyone has body noises they can't control and it's probably safe to say that most of us wish we couldn't hear those things.

Family

Dad wonders if he's wrong for telling Grandma she can't have a 'stupid' nickname

Not everyone wants to be called "Grandma" and "Grandpa." But is this nickname too much?

Some grandparent nicknames are cute. Some…not so much.

Lots of grandparents feel like the names “grandma” and “grandpa” feel too old, and vote for younger, hipper nicknames. But we all know this can sometimes venture too far into overly cutesy territory.

Such was the case for one dad who found out that instead of “Grandma,” his mom wanted to be called “Glammy” by her soon-to-be grandkid.

Frustrated, he took to Reddit for advice on how to handle the situation.


“My mother is the type of woman who hates the idea of getting old,” he wrote, saying, “She tries to hide it in any way she possibly can.”

That includes coming up with alternative nicknames, which the dad at first thought was funny, but since then has “learned that she’s completely serious.” And when he’s tried to put his foot down by saying he won’t allow it, his mother gets mad at him.

“The most recent name she has come up with is Glammy because she saw a post that says ‘when you’re a grandma but you’re young and hip you get called Glammy,’” he continued, admitting that was that the only one he liked since he knew his kids would likely just end up saying “Gammy” or “Grammy,” which he found acceptable.



“But some of the names she wants are FiFi, Lolli (like lollipop), Bibi, Lola, Ari…” he lamented. “To me, these names are just stupid… I’m perfectly fine with names that are somewhat normal but for some reason I can’t get the image of my child telling someone that their ‘FiFi is picking her up’ and she just gets laughed at cause it’s a stupid name. We’ve all tried to give my mom name suggestions but are shot down every time and told that we are taking this experience away from her. What do y’all think?”

Down in the comments, people lighthearted told the man that this was a non-issue, however aggravating it is right now.

For one thing, people joked that neither him nor his mom would actually have a say in the matter. That power would belong to the kid.

“You think you get to decide that? You don’t. My son calls my mother Poppy. He calls his uncle ‘Achoo.’ Kids will do what they will,” one person wrote.

Other’s pointed out that all roads eventually lead to “Grandma”. As one person put it, “In my experience whatever name she picks or insists on would eventually become Grandma [Name] anyway. She wants to be called Fifi? Congrats, she’s now Grandma Fifi.”

Quite a few chimed in, with hard evidence, that there are nicknames far, far worse than “Glammy.”

“Do you think you have it bad? My stepmother wanted to be addressed as ‘grandpa Joe’s young wife, Susie’ L O L.”

“I called my favorite grandma Grandma Pup Pup. Pup Pup was my dog that lived with her. I was 2 and couldn't say 'puppy'. It stuck.”

“I am Guaca because my granddaughter couldn’t say Grandma☺️”

“lol our (step)granddaughter calls my husband papa duck. It came about from her first calling him Donald Duck (due to his name), and evolved into Papa after her lil sis was born. She calls me Superwoman 😂 She was 4 at the time.”

The OP would later write that “when I don’t push this issue with my mom it turns into her saying things that I have to do and I cannot do,” which alludes to a more complex power struggle, rather than simply a name pet peeve. But regardless, hopefully he (and everyone else dealing with grandparent name woes) can be put a little more at ease knowing that this doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Just another case of pick your battles.