+
upworthy
Family

Do you have the 'sorry' reflex? Barbie — yes, that Barbie — has some advice.

Did you know Barbie has a vlog? Until today, I didn't.

Since June 2015, the Mattel collectable icon has posted a bi-weekly blog to her (I'm not quite sure what pronouns to use for the video version of a doll, so I'll just go with "she" and "her" for the sake of simplicity) YouTube page. In the 60 episodes since, she's discussed meditation, how to deal with bullies, what to do when "jokes" go too far, empowerment, sadness, and being assertive.

I. Had. No. Idea. This. Existed.


Seriously, you should check out a few of those episodes; they're great.

[rebelmouse-image 19478614 dam="1" original_size="500x281" caption=""Thank you for watching my vlog." All GIFs from Barbie/Facebook." expand=1]"Thank you for watching my vlog." All GIFs from Barbie/Facebook.

The latest video is one that a lot of us, kids and adults, can probably relate to: the "sorry reflex."

Do you find yourself apologizing when you didn't do anything wrong? If somebody bumps into you, do you ever find yourself reflexively responding, "Sorry?" Or have you ever apologized for a normal reaction to something that made you happy, sad, or excited? That's what Barbie talks about in this video.

"'Sorry' is a learned reflex, and every time we do it, we take away from our self-confidence!"

Does it seem like girls and women apologize more than boys and men? On average, they do.

A small but widely shared 2010 study published in Psychological Science found that women had a tendency to say "sorry" more often than men. It's not that women do more that require an apology; they simply have a different threshold for what they think warrants one. The study, backed up by a 2015 YouGov study and others, didn't find any sort of genetic explanation for this difference. Instead, the theory states, this has to do with socialization and a world that undermines female ambition.

Many of society's signals are subtle and likely unintentional, but they build up over time. Kids are pretty perceptive about these things. Take for example the story of 12-year-old Julianne Speyer, who wrote a letter to her local paper's editor pointing out that the announcer at her town's Fourth of July parade "labeled the Boy Scouts as 'future leaders of America,' and he said the Girls Scouts were 'just having fun.'" Over time, these statements become internalized, leading girls to feel subconsciously guilty about dreaming big and resulting in the "sorry" reflex.

[rebelmouse-image 19478615 dam="1" original_size="500x281" caption=""I think there's a bigger issue around 'sorry.' Especially with girls. We say it a lot."" expand=1]"I think there's a bigger issue around 'sorry.' Especially with girls. We say it a lot."

There are a few things — and this is good advice for children and adults — you can do to help break the "sorry" reflex.

Barbie offers viewers a challenge: For one day, anytime you'd normally say "sorry," try saying "thank you," instead. For example, if you're feeling sad and would have normally said "Sorry, I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps today," try saying "Thank you for understanding that I feel a bit blue today."

Dr. Rachel Busman, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, urges parents and children to be mindful of starting sentences with apologies ("Sorry, but...") or using language that hedges on your own confidence ("This is probably a dumb question, but..." "I could be wrong, but..." "Excuse me, but..." and so on) because those instinctive responses can quickly become habits.

This isn't to say that people shouldn't ever apologize. We all make mistakes or do things that we should apologize for. The goal is to save our "sorrys" for those moments.

Watch Barbie's "'Sorry' Reflex" vlog below.

Sorry Reflex | Barbie Vlog | Episode 60

Do you and your little ones say “sorry” as a reflex, without even thinking about it? Many people do! #Barbie challenges you to change the dynamic and say “thank you” instead of apologizing. Are you up for the challenge? 💖

Posted by

Barbie on Tuesday, July 17, 2018

A pitbull stares at the window, looking for the mailman.


Dogs are naturally driven by a sense of purpose and a need for belonging, which are all part of their instinctual pack behavior. When a dog has a job to do, it taps into its needs for structure, purpose, and the feeling of contributing to its pack, which in a domestic setting translates to its human family.

But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

Keep ReadingShow less

A nasty note gets a strong response.

We've all seen it while cruising for spots in a busy parking lot: A person parks their whip in a disabled spot, then they walk out of their car and look totally fine. It's enough to make you want to vomit out of anger, especially because you've been driving around for what feels like a million years trying to find a parking spot.

You're obviously not going to confront them about it because that's all sorts of uncomfortable, so you think of a better, way less ballsy approach: leaving a passive aggressive note on their car's windshield.

Satisfied, you walk back to your car feeling proud of yourself for telling that liar off and even more satisfied as you walk the additional 100 steps to get to the store from your lame parking spot all the way at the back of the lot. But did you ever stop and wonder if you told off the wrong person?

Keep ReadingShow less
Innovation

A student accidentally created a rechargeable battery that could last 400 years

"This thing has been cycling 10,000 cycles and it’s still going." ⚡️⚡️

There's an old saying that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

There's no better example of that than a 2016 discovery at the University of California, Irvine, by doctoral student Mya Le Thai. After playing around in the lab, she made a discovery that could lead to a rechargeable battery that could last up to 400 years. That means longer-lasting laptops and smartphones and fewer lithium ion batteries piling up in landfills.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

8 nontraditional empathy cards that are unlike any you've ever seen. They're perfect!

Because sincerity and real talk are important during times of medical crisis.

True compassion.

When someone you know gets seriously ill, it's not always easy to come up with the right words to say or to find the right card to give.

Emily McDowell — a former ad agency creative director and the woman behind the Los Angeles-based greeting card and textile company Emily McDowell Studio — knew all too well what it was like to be on the receiving end of uncomfortable sentiments.

At the age of 24, she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma. She went into remission after nine months of chemo and has remained cancer-free since, but she received her fair share of misplaced, but well-meaning, wishes before that.

On her webpage introducing the awesome cards you're about to see, she shared,

"The most difficult part of my illness wasn't losing my hair, or being erroneously called 'sir' by Starbucks baristas, or sickness from chemo. It was the loneliness and isolation I felt when many of my close friends and family members disappeared because they didn't know what to say or said the absolute wrong thing without realizing it."

Her experience inspired Empathy Cards — not quite "get well soon" and not quite "sympathy," they were created so "the recipients of these cards [can] feel seen, understood, and loved."

Scroll down to read these sincere, from-the-heart, and incredibly realistic sentiments.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity

"Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."



Michelle Elman, a body positivity coach, helps people who are struggling to find confidence in their own skin.

After persevering through numerous medical conditions and surgeries in her own life, Elman realized a few years ago that body positivity wasn't just about size or weight. Things like scars, birthmarks, and anything else that makes us feel different of self-conscious have to be a part of the conversation, and she tries to make the movement accessible to everyone.

Sharing her own journey has been one of her most effective teaching tools.

Keep ReadingShow less
via wakaflockafloccar / TikTok

It's amazing to consider just how quickly the world has changed over the past 11 months. If you were to have told someone in February 2020 that the entire country would be on some form of lockdown, nearly everyone would be wearing a mask, and half a million people were going to die due to a virus, no one would have believed you.

Yet, here we are.

PPE masks were the last thing on Leah Holland of Georgetown, Kentucky's mind on March 4, 2020, when she got a tattoo inspired by the words of a close friend.

Keep ReadingShow less