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Cheryl Strayed on pain, letting go, and self-help for Donald Trump.

Cheryl Strayed didn’t start out to be a self-help writer.

In 2012, she was poised to be best known as the author of the forthcoming memoir "Wild", a book that sparked the return of Oprah's famed Book Club and would ultimately be turned into an Academy Award nominated film starring Reese Witherspoon.


Cheryl and Reese at the 2014 Golden Globes. Photo by Steve Granitz/Getty Images.

But one month before the book's release, the writer revealed herself to not just be a woman who had traveled the Pacific Crest Trail and written about it but also the anonymous columnist behind the wildly popular online advice column Dear Sugar. She would now forever be known as more than just a talented author. She was the woman who had helped thousands of strangers deal with some of the most intimate problems in their lives with unflinching honesty, humor, and compassion.

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”

Shortly thereafter, a selection of those columns — her responses to letters about everything from grief, marriage, and incest to addiction, money, and sex — were compiled in the the New York Times best-selling "Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar," a book I've read so much the cover is hanging on by a thread. New York magazine called "Tiny Beautiful Things," "the self-help book women can't stop giving to each other" and it's now the basis for an upcoming HBO series of the same name.

Whether she planned to be or not, Cheryl Strayed has become an incisive, literary life advice guru with a cult-like following. And I am a proud member.

When she agreed to an interview, I was eager to talk to her about her new book "Brave Enough," a collection of her most beloved quotes. I had no idea we would somehow end up talking about everything from her relationship with her father and forgiveness, to finding an authentic voice, and even (brace yourself) thinking differently about Donald Trump.

But that's what happens when you talk to a woman whose main job is to study life, think about its lessons, and then share them. And so she did.

"OK, Erica. Do not act like a fan."

This is what I told myself as I prepared to call Cheryl for our interview.

"Don't babble on and on about how much her books have inspired you, and don't tell her how many of her quotes you've memorized."

Once I had sufficiently ticked through the list of don'ts in my head, I cleared my throat, got into professional interviewer mode, and dialed her number.

"Hi, this is Cheryl."

"Hi-Cheryl-it's-Erica-from-Upworthy-thanks-for-talking-to-me-today-I'm-such-a-fangirl."

Welp. So much for keeping it cool.

Thankfully, Strayed was incredibly warm and approachable, radiating humility. I wanted to know how someone so humble felt confident giving life advice to thousands of people.

On what it means to be human:

I asked whether she ever suffered from self-doubt and how she, someone not trained as a therapist or a counselor or a life coach, came to feel "qualified" to teach people important life lessons based on her own experiences.

"We get great and terrible advice from all sources all the time," she answered. "From your best friend who said something really important to you one time that really altered your way of thinking and the next conversation can say something that is idiotic and doesn’t make sense. We get advice from strangers, books, our parents, friends … all sources. I'm simply one source.

I never said that people need to do what I think they should do. I very seldom focus on instruction. I don’t feel that my main role is to say do this or do that. My main role is to help illuminate the question that they’re asking by exploring various avenues of seeking the answer.

It's about asking 'What does it mean to be human?' And in particular “What does it mean to be human in this situation? In this struggle?'"

I almost missed what she said next because I was so stuck on the phrase "What does it mean to be human?" It seemed to encapsulate all of the questions that we humans ask ourselves every day (How should we behave? How should we respond? What should we think? What should we feel?) in seven words.

I feel like she could make anything sound good, meaningful. But it also made me wonder how she, or anyone for that matter, knows what the right takeaway or lesson is. What is the best decision to make at any given moment in a complex situation or in a complex life if anything can be made to sound inspirational or "right"?

She paused and thought on that for awhile.

"Right before you called me, I was on a walk with my husband. I was grappling with a negative interaction I had with an acquaintance and feeling really annoyed and angry. But then there was also this other feeling of compassion for this person because I know [what she did] totally isn’t about me. That what she said is completely about her own sense of need and sorrow and fear. And so I have two experiences of the same interaction.

One of the great struggles of my life is which one do I land on? Do I land on the one that’s like 'F--k you bitch'? Or should I land on the one that’s like 'I understand that you’re suffering so I will let it go.'

Now that seems like a small thing but apply it to a big thing — my father being a terrible father, for example. Do I stay with rage, sorrow, and absence and suffering, or do I land on forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, and moving forward? We always have that choice."

I agreed. But I also believe that we teach people how to treat us. I worry that if we offer nothing but "niceness"in response to mistreatment or cruelty, we're in some ways letting them off the hook. And if we do that, will they ever learn the lesson? Without me even asking, she had an answer for that.

"What other people go through is not up to us. What we're going through is up to us. I'm not talking about denial," she assured me. "You still have to carry the story with you when you choose forgiveness, but the decision you’re making is to carry it with you forward into whatever beauty awaits. The deal of life is that life is always going to be full of suffering and joy. And I think when you focus on the suffering, you forget how much joy there really is. Always. There’s always joy. It’s always available to us, even in the darkest days."

Even in the darkest days.

The darkest days. That phrase stuck out to me because it drew my mind not only to personal life struggles but to all the hatred and violence and oppression and fear that permeates our current social and political landscape. Mass shootings, Islamophobia, police brutality... And really. Is there any other way to describe Donald Trump's candidacy other than the phrase "dark days"?

I asked her if the themes her quotes touch on, which are so often focused on people's personal lives, could apply to those big societal issues too.

"Yes," she said. And she picked our favorite cartoon villain political candidate to illustrate how.

Him. Photo by Ralph Freso/Getty Images.

On Donald Trump and the big things:

"We forget that Donald Trump — the guy saying all that awful stuff — that’s one human and that awful stuff rises from his heart. And the only way to change the world in the grand scale is to change the hearts and minds of individuals.

So what if this guy really took a deep look at his own wounds? He’s an example of someone who has decided to stay in rage, just like I was talking about earlier. So for him, a couple of people of the Muslim faith shoot up a center and [that behavior] now applies to people of that faith. He’s decided to tell a story that is about hate and ugliness and rage.

What if he were the kind of person who could make that tiny switch I was just talking about in my life, where you say 'am I going to stay in rage or am I going to go to that other place?' I don’t think Trump has ever made that leap probably in anything in his life. So it begins as a tiny thing. I don’t know him. I don’t know what happened to him in his life. But I know that probably all along the way he chose to tell an ugly, small, rage-filled story about himself and the people around him. And then it’s like a stone you throw in the water that resonates outward and beyond. And now it's on a massive scale. That’s why it’s so dangerous to give people power, to elect someone who doesn’t have a consciousness that is steeped in compassion and love and light."

I sighed. She was right. I'm not evolved enough yet to think about Donald Trump's wounds, but I made a mental note to revisit the idea post-election.

I was about to move the conversation forward, but something in my question about what some would call the "bigger" social issues had triggered her. She jumped back in.

"Also, I hate this idea that the culturally significant stories are about 'the big things.' Women are always up against that idea — that our stories are small or unimportant.

I think writing the truth about one life is a big thing. For four years there hasn’t been one day that a whole bunch of people haven’t told me 'your book changed my life.' And when you change someone’s life, you change the world. To believe in that change that we can make in our own lives is what leads to the cultural change in our world."

That sentiment echoes the late Detroit activist Grace Lee Boggs who famously said, "To make a revolution, people must not only struggle against existing institutions. They must make a philosophical/spiritual leap and become more 'human' human beings. In order to change/transform the world, they must change/transform themselves." I shared this with Cheryl.

"Yes! Yes!" she said.

Then she thought about it for a second and said that there was a myth she wanted to dispel.

"Transforming the self can easily be construed as this incredibly narcissistic activity."

I knew exactly what she meant. The me, me, me, navel-gazing, optimize-your-life culture around being your "best self" is everywhere. And it can be pretty insufferable.

"This idea that the most important thing is whatever it is YOU need, what YOU want, because you are developing your mind and your body and whatever. That’s bullshit. That’s not what transforming yourself is.

It isn’t about having the perfect ass and a world that never blows your head open and challenges you and transforms you. It's about engagement, questioning your motivations and beliefs, your biases, and it’s about struggle. And this is the kind of self-help that I’m signing up for and that I hope to contribute to.

It’s a grittier, messier way of looking at transformation. Not just sitting in a bathtub with candles burning, but that’s where you end. It’s not the journey. The journey is a lot rougher than that. It’s about being disrupted from your complacency."

On real self-help:

But that grittiness and messiness isn't what most of us think about when we hear the term "self-help." We often think of positive affirmations and "five steps to a better life," quick fixes. As writer who's a bit insecure about the fact that my own first book will likely land on the self-help shelf also, I desperately wanted to know: Is she comfortable being lumped into that category? How does someone who grew up obsessing over "the great writers" and began her career in fiction and literary nonfiction feel about her work being stuck with the label of a genre that is so often mocked?

"Not only did I never intend to be a self-help writer," she said, "I still don’t really think of myself in that way — probably because I have the same recoil that so many people do when we hear 'self-help.'

"I think when we think of self-help negatively we’re thinking of a book that simplifies and glosses over the complexity of the real, gritty problems of life that we all have. And instead of saying 'OK let’s get down in the muck and face these things,' it sort of makes silly metaphors out of things that are deep and important and big."

I nodded in agreement. She hit the nail on the head.

"Have you ever seen that famous SNL skit with the guy who goes 'I’m OK, and you’re OK?'" she asked.

I chuckled and told her that I had but didn't admit that, at my age, I'd only ever seen a 20-second clip of it on YouTube. But I knew what she was getting at.

“That’s what we think self-help is,” she continued. "A kind of anti-intellectualism."

"And I think that’s really unfair to the genre. Because so many books, my own included, that are lumped into that genre are aspiring to do the exact opposite of that glossing over: embrace our intellects and our rational thinking when it comes to figuring out our challenges and struggles, the relationships we have with others, and the complexity of the relationship that we have with our own past, our own selves, our own lives.

So I think that what people see when they are reading my words is somebody who is willing to not turn away from that complexity.”

Ultimately, she believes that [her] readers experience work in the same way, no matter what the publisher-assigned genre: viscerally and emotionally. And they judge it simply on whether it changes their lives.

Photo by Amy Graves/Getty Images.

On authenticity:

She's a writer who isn't afraid to talk about life's complexity. That's important. But the truth is that her popularity and resonance isn't just because of what she says. It's also about how she says it.

With quotes like this...

“But the reality is we often become our kindest, most ethical selves only by seeing what it feels like to be a selfish jackass first.”

...and this...

"You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score. Anyone who expects you to do any of those things has no sense of history or economics or science or the arts. You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all."

...and one of her most famous...

"So write. Not like a girl. Not like a boy. Write like a motherfucker."

it's easy to see why Cheryl is known for communicating ideas in a way that is somehow equally compassionate and unmerciful, gentle and brash. And her words are both literary in their beauty but incredibly simple at the same time. It's hard to tell what has mattered matter more in her ability to connect with readers: her writing style or her big personality. So I ask her.

“It’s both,” she replied confidently. "My voice, writing style, and personality are all one and the same."

She explained: "When you’re a young writer you’re always in search of your voice, and for a long time I thought that meant conforming my voice to the great writers I love. 'I’m going to try to sound like Faulkner or Alice Munro or Toni Morrison.' But what I loved in the work of the writers that I love most is that they’re relaxing and actually speaking with their own voice on the page. And the closer I could get to doing that, the better writer I become.

Voice and authority: It’s all about speaking out of your authentic knowledge."

And she wants to make sure that her authentic knowledge is accessible to everyone.

"I’ve always hoped that what complicates my work is the thinking behind it, not the language that I use to convey ideas. I’ve always wanted my work to be accessible to people of all backgrounds, regardless of their education. I love that you don’t have to be hyper-literate to read my books. You can be, but you don't have to be."

As an example of what she called her "approachability in public persona, on the page, and in actual life," she shared a moving memory:

"At one of my readings in Santa Cruz, this woman came up to me. She was a Mexican immigrant; she was a maid at a hotel. She told me that she had been cleaning a room and someone had left a copy behind of 'Wild.' Instead of just turning it in like they usually do, she started reading it and ended up reading the whole book. At my reading, she wept and said that she’d never read a book before.

And I've heard that many times. So I’m not interested in this idea of the writer as the exalted figure who's above any other person in the world."

Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images.

On her favorite quote:

Later on in our conversation, as we discussed "Brave Enough," I realized she probably wouldn't have judged me for knowing so many of them by heart. The attachment that readers have had to her words is exactly what inspired the book in the first place.

"My publisher said 'all the people on the Internet keep posting your quotes everywhere — we should collect them.' The premise wasn’t 'I’m so wise.' It was crowdsourced! I believe that the power of art is connection. It’s people taking a writer's work and making it theirs. And that’s what people have done with these quotes, and so I looked to them for what should be in the book. I love the idea that a sentence I wrote told them something that they needed to know or hold in their heart.”

I wanted to end my discussion with Cheryl by finding out which pithy line from the collection was her personal favorite, the one that she holds closest in her heart.

As it turns out, it's the one that isn't technically hers. It is her late mother's quote. Her mother is a central figure in her work, and her too-sudden, too-soon death at age 45 not only shattered Cheryl's world but also sparked the life-changing journey of "Wild." When she mentioned her now, her words practically beamed, dripping with audibly noticeable adoration.

"Put yourself in the way of beauty."

"That is something that my mother told me to do. It took me years to really understand what that meant and to learn how to do it. My mom would say, 'It doesn’t matter how miserable you are, how hard any particular day is, you can always choose to put yourself in the way of beauty. There’s always a sunrise and there’s always a sunset. And it's up to you whether you want to be there for it or not. When it’s hardest is when you need to do it the most.'

And so I trust that. It's been a guiding light."

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

@tarareynolds03

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds
This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
“If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

@caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

@puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

@megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado that are part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate changeBeaver in water. Photo by Svetozar Cenisev on Unsplash

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? It just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

Beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being in danger, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But enough have stayed and built dams since 2019 that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving. Residents of Utah are overjoyed at the results of the experiment.

A column in The Salt Lake Tribune from 2025 (six years after the beaver translocation began) writes that the revitalization of the Price River "helped save our Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper. On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate changeAn actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price RiverPublic Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael river, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In on area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

To that I say...it's about dam time!

Photo credit: NOAA

MS Gulf Coast is home to only photographed living giant squid

Giant squids are the things nightmares and science fiction movies are made of. Squids are not the most adorable things to look at unless you're a zoologist or marine biologist. These ocean-dwelling creatures look like they would eat you if given the chance though, thankfully, this is not a worry most people need to have. Unless you are going deep into the ocean far removed from the United States, your chances of running into a giant squid are quite low.

But they aren't zero. It turns out you don't have to go to some far off country to see a giant squid in the wild;, you just have to go to Mississippi. Marine mammal researcher for Mississippi State University’s Coastal Research and Extension Center, Dr. Holley Muraco reveals in an interview with the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks that the waters right off of the Mississippi Gulf Coast are home to the only living squid photographed in North America.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesMedusa image of giant squid in Gulf of Mexico off of Mississippi Gulf CoastPhoto credit: NOAA

The Mississippi Gulf Coast water is home to a lot of different aquatic critters. It's a place known for it's sea food and home to the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies, a nonprofit organization that rescues and rehabilitates injured marine animals and houses those who can't be re-released into the wild. The organization also serves as a center for education on the different types of marine animals with interactive live animal shows at a fraction of the cost of visiting an aquarium. Mississippians are used to sharing the water with the different fish that live in the bay, bayou, sound, Gulf, and the ocean waters beyond the Gulf.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesSign warning against feeding alligators next to alligator in Mississippi marshlandsCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel

A lot of time in Mississippi is spent outside on or near a body of water whether it's fishing off of a pier or kayaking in the bay. Gulf Coast residents have learned to peacefully exist with the animals that come with the territory, including alligators. But the discovery of a living giant squid in the body of water Mississippians enjoy year round is a surprise to locals and their Gulf Coast neighbors in the neighboring states.

"Are you serious? If Mississippi residents actually knew this, they would be ecstatic to share it. I was born and raised in MS and that's the first I've ever heard it. I actually witnessed a manatee in Biloxi Bay as a kid and no one believed me," one person exclaims on a short clip of the interview.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesMississippi Gulf Coast beach in BiloxiCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel

"As an Alabama resident, knowing they found giant squid off the coast of Mississippi doesn't make me feel more comfortable with being offshore," someone else shares.

Giant squids aren't something people imagine much outside of movies or "scholarly" debates after a few drinks on who would win in a fight, a giant squid or a sperm whale. Turns out the sperm whale versus squid match is due to researchers once finding pieces of a large squid inside the belly of s sperm whale. Mississippians can rest assured that their waters would be the scene of the next rematch if there ever was one because according to Dr. Muraco, they've also spotted the huge sperm whales in the same water.

"We have a resident population of sperm whales, right off, maybe 60 miles off of Gulfport. A resident population of sperm whales and so we know that we're having sperm whales with epic battles of giant squid. That's happening in our backyard, ya know. I'm like, it's crazy." Muraco excitedly tells the host before adding, "And I just want anybody who will listen to know, we can take ownership of this. Mississippi has the best access to that Mississippi Delta, Desoto Canyon, that magic place right there where all these marine mammals are trying trying to survive."

Dr. Muraco also exclaims that Mississippi is also the home of Rice's whales, the most endangered species of whales in the world. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), there are fewer than 100 Rice's whales in the entire world. The Gulf really does have diverse marine life.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battles2009 photo of giant squid caught in Gulf of Mexico near Mississippi GulfPhoto credit: NOAA

People in Mississippi are no strangers to the giant squid—they're just not accustomed to them being alive. The first giant squid seen in the Mississippi coastal waters was found floating in 1954, and the second was pulled from the water in 2009 as researchers were looking for prey of sperm whales in the area. The squid caught in 2009 was 19.5 feet long and weight 103 pounds.

“This is an incredibly rare find in the Gulf of Mexico,” said Michael Vecchione, director for NOAA’s Fisheries Service’s National Systemics Laboratory. A giant squid expert told the Smithsonian Insider the same, highlighting the gravity of the occurrence “Giant squid have been found more commonly in areas of the world where there are deep-water fisheries, such as Spain and New Zealand, but this is the first time one has actually been captured during scientific research in the Gulf of Mexico.”

A more recent expedition in 2019 with a specialized underwater camera named "The Medusa" caught a glimpse of a living juvenile giant squid estimated to be between 10 and 12 feet long. A video shows the squid coming to eat the e-jelly lure placed on the camera before swimming away after realizing it wasn't actually food.

Being that the squid is a juvenile, it's likely that there are more squids in the depths of the Gulf. It's just a matter of time before researchers capture evidence of older squids.

A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.

Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.

It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."

Chameleon, science, reptile, adaptation, mirroringA chameleon rolls its eyes. Giphy SWR Kindernetz

Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."

While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."

Sam Elliott, cowboy, southern accentsSam Elliott gives a tip of his cowboy hat. Giphy, Sam Elliott, Grit TV

People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'

They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."

(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)

Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."

Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"

@theweirdocoach

Anyone else? #adhdawareness #adhdinwomen #neurodivergent


Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."

And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."

Family

Heroic dad jumps off Disney cruise ship to save his daughter after she falls from 4th deck

Onlookers held their collective breath waiting for the scene to unfold.

A parent would have done the same.

Sometimes, our worst nightmares happen during moments that should feel safe and joyous. They happen no matter how careful and methodical we are to try to prevent them, and when they do, all we can do is rely on our instincts and quick thinking.

For one father, that nightmare looked like watching his daughter falling overboard while on a Disney cruise.

On June 29, as reported by Newsweekand USA Today, the two were aboard the Disney Dream, whichwas returning to Fort Lauderdale, Florida after four days of sailing through the Bahamas. While it's unclear as to how the little girl fell off (though some suspected that the girl was sat on the railing to get a selfie) sources confirmed that the ship was moving, not docked, when she did fall from the fourth deck—making matters even more dire.

disney cruise ship, man jumps overboard disney cruise, man overboard, cruise ships, cruise ship storiesThank goodness this story has a happy ending.Photo credit: Canva

On the last day of our Dream voyage and it is an at Sea Day. A girl fell overboard from the 4th deck & her dad went in after her. Right after the incident we heard on the loud speaker MOB Port side!!...

The father did as many fathers would do. He jumped after her.

Over on social media, including a Disney Dream Cruise Ship Facebook group, people recalled the incident.

“Her dad went in after her,” one passenger aboard the ship wrote. “Right after the incident, we heard on the loudspeaker, ‘MOB [Man overboard] Port side!! Thankfully, the [Disney] rescue team was on it immediately and both were saved!”

Another fellow passenger shared video footage showing a life boat quickly coming to the rescue.

“We are committed to the safety and well-being of our guests," Disney Cruise Line wrote in a statement, "and this incident highlights the effectiveness of our safety protocols.”

These safety protocols largely involve overboard detection systems utilizing thermal cameras and/or micro radars to notify crew of someone falling overboard almost immediately.

To put things into perspective, only one or two people go overboard each month out of roughly 2.5 million who cruise during the same time frame, and those numbers seem to be continuously dwindling, no doubt in part thanks to tech like this. But point being, these accidents remain super rare occurrences.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Obviously, it doesn’t make them any less scary—especially in this circumstance. Which made it all the more a relief that both the father and daughter were brought back to safety.

"That's terrifying!!! Thank goodness for the happy ending though,” one viewer wrote.

Still another said, “I praise the dad for his courage and bravery to save his daughter. She will be forever thankful. A father's love.”

Indeed, many, if not most parents would have similarly risked their lives in the same situation. But thankfully this act of bravery didn’t have to become a sacrifice.

@andrecrews/Instagram

Dad Andre Crews goes on a rant comparing his toddler to a terrorist.

In parenting, there tends to be two camps of people: those who feel there is no experience more sacred or beautiful or fulfilling than bringing a child into this world, and those who are like, “this is hard, and my kid is a jerk, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.”

Of course, which camp you belong to changes at any given moment, depending on whether you’re dealing with the sweet little cherub etched from your very soul, or their terrible, chaotic alter ego. You know the one.

terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babiesWhat I'd give to be able to throw a tantrum like that.media4.giphy.com

It seems pretty clear which version fitness influencer and toddler dad Andre Crews was dealing with when he made a very raw, yet darkly funny TikTok comparing his three-year-old son to a “terrorist.”

A warning to those who might be sensitive to profanity: there are a lot of f-bombs thrown around in the video. Which can obviously be a little jarring when talking about a toddler, but it’s also clear that Crews, wearing a weighted vest that even gives off tactical gear vibes, is coming at this like a grizzled soldier on the battlefront—which is honestly something so many parents can relate to.

Swears aside, Crews goes on about how his kid holds his family “hostage” every night, how getting him to eat any food besides multigrain Tostitos chips scoops (“at least they’re multigrain”) and strawberry-banana Gogurt packets (“not strawberry, not banana, and if it’s not strawberry-banana…you better BUCKLE UP”), and how brushing teeth offers a whole “20 minutes podcast of war stories.”

Still, the tirade ends on a sweet note, with Crews saying, “but the next morning, he wakes up, he’s beautiful, and all the [terrorism] melts away.” If that ain’t parenting in a nutshell, we don’t know what is.

“To all the parents out there: know that it’s never easy, but you’re doing god’s work,” Crews concludes.

With over 220,000 likes on Instagram, Crews' video clearly struck a chord. So many parents chimed in to share how they too felt the carnage of the Terrible Twos.

“The more I talk to other parents we are just all raising the same kids in different skins 😂”

“The best description of parenting a toddler 🤣”

“Lmfaooooooo ….. okay so it’s not just me.”

“Hold the line buddy🤣same everywhere no back up, no support.”

“I have twins, I'm surrounded 😂😂😂”

“I HAVE SAID THIS FOR YEARS!!!! FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS 😂😂😂😂😂”

Toddlerdom is a constant experimentation phase for little ones to test the boundaries of their own free will, all while still being challenged by a still developing brain and sense of emotional regularity. So a bit of chaos, tantrums, mood swings, aggression, a bombardment of “nos!” or, as Crews put it, “terrorist” behavior. But this phase is par for the course in parenting. Kids aren’t being bad for the sake of it, they’re just navigating a pretty uncomfortable phase for the first time ever. And maybe strawberry banana Gogurt—not not strawberry, not banana, strawberry-banana—is the one and only thing to soothe that discomfort in the moment.

terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babiesTo any parent dealing with a toddler tantrum—Godspeed. Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line, if you’re a parent currently feeling terrorized by your little one, you are not alone, and you’re doing great. and there's nothing wrong with "having four cups of coffee" to get through it.