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Business expert shares how he could tell someone was a high performer in 10 seconds

“I just overheard someone and even in a 10-second conversation, I knew they were a high performer."

high performer, low performer, mike manzi
via Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels

A college student reading in the library.

According to sales guru and business expert Mike Manzi, there is a subtle but powerful difference between the attitudes of people he deems “high” or “low” performers, whether in academics or their professional lives.

He shared the observation in a video he recently posted to TikTok. “I just overheard someone and, even in a 10-second conversation, I knew they were a high performer,” Manzi started his video.

“They were some kid in college and they just were like, ‘You know, I don’t get it. As long as you just go to class, study, listen to what they’re talking about, and then try to apply it to your own personal life, how do you not get an A?’” he continued.

How to spot a high performer by eavesdropping 

@officialsalesleadertips

How to spot a high performer by eavesdropping #highperformer #highperformancehabits #salesleader #sales

Manzi believes the underlying message is to “Do every single thing and do it well.” The high performer sees operating on a high level as “normal,” whereas the low performer sees doing the basics, such as studying or going to class, as a chore. It’s the difference between having a genuine interest in success and being satisfied with doing the bare minimum.

Just about everyone in the comments agreed with Manzi.

"Yes, and when you inevitably run into a roadblock, you don't say 'It's hard, I can't do it'; you figure out what key part you misunderstood, get help if you need it, then move on," Messnabout wrote. "Truly!! Bc then you’re in the workforce and everyone acts like doing the bare min is pulling teeth. Just do the bare min and then a little extra and managers stay off your back...easy," Sherri added.


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Millennial mom asks her own mom about raising a kid in the 80s and is mortified

"What did you do without Google?!"

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.


This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

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Woman is inundated with kindness as she supports her husband's coming out journey

"I'm confused, I'm sad but I'm also happy."

Photo credit: Canva

Woman supporting gay husband receives outpouring of kindness

Nothing prepares you for every scenario life has to offer. There's no giant book titled "in case this happens" to guide you through all of life's unpredictable, knock-the-wind-out-of-your-lungs, earth-shattering moments. So we all do the best that we can and hope for the best or at the very least hope for forgiveness if we mess it up.

Some people seem to have a fairytale life with an adoring spouse, 2.5 kids and a dog but even those seemingly perfect couples are not immune from life pulling to rug from beneath them. Jasmine Collins is one of those young moms that seemed to be living the American dream. At 28, she is a stay at home mom to two children under the age of two, married to her high school sweetheart.

The two have been together for over 12 years, but recently her husband shared that he was gay. This revelation would send many people into a spiral that could result in hurtful words and anger. Collins' deep love for her husband is causing her to take a completely different approach.

The young mom took to social media at the encouragement of her husband to share their story. Collins didn't know anyone who had been through this life altering situation and was hoping to find support as well as let others know that they aren't alone. She uploaded a tearful video to social media that shows he sleeping baby on her chest while she shares the news.

"I know that a lot of people have been messaging me asking what's going on, why I'm moving out, and it's because I just found out that my husband and the man that I've been with since high school, for 12 years. We have two kids together and he just let me know that he's gay and he's been gay. He's been trying to fake it but he just can't anymore," Collins shares through tears.

people gathering near building during daytime Photo by Hannah Voggenhuber on Unsplash

That's enough to knock anyone off kilter and though the mom is hurting, she is also supporting her husband's desire to live his truth.

Collins admits to feeling confused as she soaks in the shocking information, saying, "I'm feeling so many things. I'm confused, I'm angry. I'm sad but I'm also happy. I'm happy that he can finally live his life and he doesn't have to hide himself anymore."

@itsjasminecollins Starting over ar 28. From a SAHM to a divorced single mom of two under two. #husband #wife #divorce #startingover ♬ original sound - itsjasminecollins

People may wonder why someone who is gay would marry someone who is straight but the truth is, there are many reasons that this may occur. The concept of marrying someone with a different sexual orientation as you is referred to as a "mixed orientation marriage." This can happen if a bisexual or pansexual person marries someone who is straight or gay. It doesn't matter if both partners in the relationship are of the same sex because one partner doesn't identify as gay.

Mixed orientation marriages can also happen if one person is gay and marries a straight person. Entering into a marriage like this knowingly is referred to as a "Lavender Marriage." But not everyone realizes they're in a relationship like this which can lead to heartbreak down the road. The most common reasons someone would hide their homosexuality to enter into a straight presenting relationship is due to societal standards, internalized homophobia and the desire to have a family.

There's no way to determine if Collins' husband knew in high school that he was gay and assumed his orientation would change by marrying a woman or if he himself discovered it after getting married. Only he would be able to answer that question but it seems right now the pair are most focused on how to move forward in the most supportive way.

The mom of two is receiving an outpouring of kindness and encouragement as she navigates this difficult chapter in her life. Some women are angry for her while others share their stories or simply encourage her to keep showing up.

"Girl you don't have to be supportive or understanding. You have to take care of your mental health and your kids first. Prioritize yourself first," one person writes.

"Girl find a support group. I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal. Your happiness for him shows what kind of woman you are. Take care mama," another encourages.

" That must be so hard. And you still finding it in your heart to be happy shows you truly have a great heart and genuinely love him. Keep your head up," someone else says.

"I'm sorry he waited so long to tell you and give you false hope. You're going to make it through this and find someone who can love you and all of you," a commenter shares.

difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations desk decor Photo by Nik on Unsplash

The encouraging and supportive words continued to pour into the comments hoping to add a little bit of light in the dark storm this mom is facing. Someone offers, "ohh mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're such a good person for being supportive, but you're also grieving the future you once had in mind and a person who was with you for so long."

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Guy starts singing a Sam Cooke song at the barbershop and blows everyone away

With 7 million views on TikTok alone, Shawn Louisiana's incredible viral video is a must-see.

Shawn Louisiana/YouTube

Sometimes a person opens their mouth to sing, and magic happens. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what qualities make a voice transcend the average and transfix an audience, but we know it when we hear it.

Enter Shawn Louisiana.

A video of him singing in a barbershop has gone viral and it's definitely worth a watch. He wrote on YouTube, "The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song," but when he started singing "A Change is Gonna Come," he definitely proved that he could. Really well. Like, whoa.

Watch:

The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song #achangegonnacomewww.youtube.com

There's a reason that video has gotten nearly 7 million views on TikTok alone.

Louisiana frequently shares videos of himself just singing casually for the camera, and I don't understand why this man's talent is not more well known yet.

I mean, just listen to this "Stand By Me" cover. Like butter. Sing me to sleep, sir.

Stand By Me - Ben E. King cover #tiktokwww.youtube.com

His Instagram account says he's available to book for weddings. That's nice, but someone please get this man a record deal so we can listen to him croon all day.

For more from Shawn Louisiana, follow him on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.


This article originally appeared on 9.1.21

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Mom's rallying cry for more 'lazy parenting' is gaining traction and kudos from experts

The key to raising independent kids? "Just be lazier."

@leahova/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

"Lazy parenting" might not sound like a great approach, but it has its benefits.

Gen Xers and millennials experienced firsthand how damaging the often negligent parenting style of their boomer parents could be. That, combined with the exhausting surplus of parenting information available nowadays (particularly then many, many way in which you could secretly be SETTING YOUR KID UP FOR FAILURE) and it’s no wonder why so many modern day parents feel the need be hypervigilant in protecting their kids.

But this well-meaning intention easily turns into helicopter parenting, which also doesn’t truly help kids out in the long run—and it doesn’t feel great for parents, either.

Which is what prompted Leah Ova, a WFH mom of four, to make a now-viral video advocating for a bit more of what she calls “lazy parenting.”

In the clip, which has now been viewed over 100,000 times on TikTok, Ova shared an anecdote of her getting praise for having “independent kids.”

“We recently had friends visit. One of their kids is ... a year older than my oldest. And my friend was like, ‘I'm doing something wrong,’” she recalled. “I'm like, ‘What are you doing wrong?’ She's like, ‘Your kids are so independent. They go make themselves food. They grab a snack. They like, smear their own bagel.’”

Apparently at her friend’s house, this would not be a normal scenario.

“Her son [would be] like, ‘I want breakfast.’ And basically if she didn't make him a bagel, he ... couldn't have a bagel.”

Ova’s solution to this brekkie conundrum? “Just be lazier.”


@leahova Kids love to feel independent, as long as they know you'll be there if they need you #parenting #lazy ♬ original sound - Leahova


What is “Lazy Parenting"?”

Ova went on to explain, “What is the expression like the best form of parenting is high attentiveness, but low interference? Is that a thing? I think that's a thing. Be around, be there if they need you. But just be like, ‘Honey, I'm literally having a coffee right now. You can get it yourself.’”

Ova added that this is a boundary she has had to put in place more than once in her own household, recalling that often when one of her kids has a friend over, they will ask for a snack like apples, and ask her point blank “are you not gonna cut my apple?”

“And I’m like, ‘Do you not know how to eat an apple when it's not cut?’” Talk about a mom mic drop.

“You can always tell the kids whose parents are like literally doing everything for them. And I want everyone to know you can be lazier. Honestly, it probably makes your kids better. You need to be a lazier parent.”

Down in the comments, other parents showed their full support for this approach.

“That’s not lazy parenting, it’s raising capable humans!🥰” one person wrote, while another said, “My mom's favorite saying: ‘I raised you to leave me.’”

Of course, some people admitted that the patience required for it is very challenging.

One viewer said, “I struggle so hard with this bc they are literally so slow to do EVERYTHING. It's torture 😭.”

Lazy Parenting vs Gentle Parenting

If you go by the actual definition of “gentle parenting,” the two are, essentially, synonymous. It’s worth noting that gentle parenting is often misunderstood as “permissive parenting,” where the parent doesn’t provide a healthy framework of rules or boundaries to create structure. In truth, gentle parenting does set up rules and routines, but kids are often encouraged to figure things out for themselves. Lazy parenting also seems to fall under this category.

However, while both terms mean the same thing, experts seem to think the word “lazy” doesn't really fit, since it fails to acknowledge the actual effort required.

"Referring to it as 'lazy parenting' is funny and self-deprecating,' but it misses the mark," Amy McCready, Positive Parenting Solutions founder, told Parents.com. "What we're talking about is a more intentional approach to parenting that helps prevent entitlement."

Similarly, parenting coach Tessa Stuckey echoed: “The word lazy is defined as unwilling to work. But, I believe, parenting, especially if you are trying to allow your kids to struggle a bit and work through their problems, takes the most work."

Why Lazy Parenting is Important

Still, semantics aside, both of these experts agree that raising children to be independent is crucial, and that cannot be achieved by taking care of everything for them.

"We want to avoid being 'helicopter parents,’ hovering over them at all times so they don’t fail or fall in any way. And we also want to avoid taking on the 'lawn mower' parenting approach, smoothing the path so the child has zero obstacles," Stuckey told Parents.com. "This deprives our kids from building independence, confidence, self-awareness, and the ability to practice life skills." "This deprives our kids from building independence, confidence, self-awareness, and the ability to practice life skills."

"It’s important to approach it as a coach and supporter rather than a rescuer. Our role is to guide them through challenges and encourage problem-solving and resilience," added McCready. "This way, they learn that it's OK to ask for help, but they also develop the confidence to tackle tasks on their own."

It can be hard for parents to say no to helping their children—out of a desire to help them, or to avoid any messes sure to take place as they’re figuring things out. It definitely does require massive amounts of patience. But if the end result is a fully capable adult ready to take on the world, it’s totally worth it.

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Doctors warn you should never pop a pimple in the in the 'triangle of death' on your face

It could cause some severe health problems, including death.

via Anna Nekrashevich/Pexels

An area of the face known as the "triangle of death."

Parents always warn teenagers not to pop their acne because it will leave a scar, but that doesn’t always stop them from trying to eliminate painful blemishes that make them feel like the entire world is staring at them. However, recently, doctors have been warning people that popping zits in a specific area of the face can, in rare cases, lead to death.

Doctors say people should avoid popping pimples in an area of the face known as the “triangle of death.” The triangle covers the center of the face and extends from the bridge of your nose down to your upper lip.

The dangers of popping zits in the triangle became a big news item after many TikTok doctors shared a popular rumor that a Brazillian teen died from popping a pimple on her face.


@dermdoctor

RIP @realstories be careful in the triangle of death… this is possible but incredibly rare #dermatologist

Is it dangerous to pop pimples on my face?

Regardless if the story of the Brazilian teen is true, the takeaway from the story is important. One can get a serious infection and even die from popping a pimple inside the triangle of death. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this part of the face is a direct line to your brain.

“This area is unique because there are a lot of blood vessels there that are connected to the brain,” Dr. Kiyanna Williams tells Self. “If you were to get an infection [in the triangle of death] and it happened to spread, it could go down those blood vessels [in the cavernous sinus] connected to the brain and cause larger problems.”

These problems include a stroke, vision loss, or even death.

Infections that start with a popped pimple can lead to septic cavernous sinus thrombosis, a blood clot in the cavernous sinus that can create a brain abscess, damage to facial nerves, meningitis, pneumonia and septic emboli.

The Cleveland Clinic shared a TikTok video warning people about popping zits in the dreaded triangle of death.

@clevelandclinic

When it comes to your health, there’s one triangle you shouldn’t be obtuse about. The danger of popping a pimple on your nose or near your mouth. 👆👃🏼👄 #fyp #dangertriangle #pimplepop #skincare101 #health #skincare #themoreyouknow #healthtips

A big reason why people get infections after popping zits is because they don’t wash their hands. “If you pick your face with dirty fingers, dirty nails, or have dirty skin, you run the risk of causing a skin infection,” Dr. Joshua Zeichner, the director of cosmetic and clinical research at the Department of Dermatology at Mount Sinai in New York, told Huffington Post.

We must stress that although popping pimples in the triangle of death can lead to serious health problems, the chances are very slim. “Thankfully, it’s relatively unlikely,” Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic, “but whenever there’s a violation of the skin and interaction with bacteria, there’s always a possibility for infection, which can lead to greater health concerns.”

But if the fear of death doesn’t deter you from popping pimples on your face, you should stop to avoid creating a permanent scar. “Honestly, you should always avoid popping pimples,” Dr. Vij continued. “Doing so can lead to inflammation, post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation and scarring — and, of course, infection.”

What to do if I get a pimple?

Suppose you find yourself with a painful pimple and you don’t want a scar or to risk an agonizing death from a brain infection. In that case, the American Academy of Dermatology Association advises applying a warm, damp washcloth to the pimple for 10 to 15 minutes, 3 times daily. This will help it come to a head so it will eventually heal.

You can also treat the pimple with a topical medication containing the active ingredients adapalene, azelaic acid, benzoyl peroxide, or salicylic acid. A hydrocolloid acne patch can also protect your skin and support healing.

When using acne-fighting topical creams, it’s also important to stay out of the sunlight and to apply sunscreen because the medications can make your skin more sensitive to the sun.

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