'Burnout coach' shares how embracing boredom can help you recover from work stress
Repetition and consistency can create a mini miracle.
Boredom, the cure for burnout.
If your job makes you feel burned out, you’re not alone. A recent poll of 10,243 workers in 6 countries found that 40% of respondents were burned out. The World Health Organization defines burnout as an “increased mental distance from one’s job,” feelings of depression and negativity.
The people most likely to be experiencing burnout are those ages 18 to 29, and women reported higher levels of burnout (46%) than men (37%).
Gabriela Flax, a self-described burnout coach, says the best prescription for people who feel like they’ve sacrificed their mental health for their job is a hefty dose of boredom. Flax was once a product manager who had to find a better work balance after suffering migraines, panic attacks and constant exhaustion from work.
Flax believes that people suffering from burnout often enter patterns of self-neglect, all in the name of career success. She adds that by creating new patterns that some would call boring or repetitive, people can regain their sense of self.
Burnt out? Be boring 🤗
@gabriela_flax Burnt out? Be boring 🤗 When we are burnt out, the decision making part of our brain is offline. This makes simple decisions like what to eat or wear near impossible & makes us feel even worse. The first thing I do with those I help overcome burnout & regain vitality for life is assess how to make their life BORING! This helps to lessen the immediate overwhelm and create space for deeper healing. #burnout #burnoutrecovery #burnoutrecoverycoach #burnoutcoach #chronicstressrecovery
“When we are experiencing burnout, the part of our brains that make decisions is offline," Flax says. "Even something as simple as deciding what to wear today, what to have for lunch, what movie to book at the weekend. All of that becomes really, really difficult for our brains to process."
To help her clients counter the feeling of being disconnected from their needs, Flax tells them to keep things simple. "What we do is we're like, ‘we're gonna get three of the same T-shirt, we're gonna get three of the same pairs of jeans,’" she says. “‘Therefore, you don't even have to really worry about laundry right now; we're doing laundry maybe once a week.’"
This “boring” approach to life also extends to people’s diets. She recommends that those who are burned out eat the same things for breakfast, lunch and dinner. “That way, you're still getting your meals in. You're fueling yourself, but you don't have to think about what you're going to cook.”
Then, what begins as a series of simple, predictable changes evolves into a new cycle of positivity.
“The repetition and consistency of doing things and proving to yourself that you can get dressed and proving to yourself that you can still feed yourself, it actually starts to build up a little bit of confidence that starts to pull you out of that burnout,” Flax says.
In a recent article published by SWNS, Flax expanded her “boring list” of small changes to make to kickstart a new cycle of confidence. They are designed to cut down on the number of decisions you have to make and tasks to accomplish for a much-needed mental break.
1. Purchase a 10-pack of identical pairs of socks.
2. Organize clothing into two baskets: one for clean items and another for dirty laundry
3. Take photos of things you commonly buy at the grocery store for future reference.
4. Use disposable plates and utensils to make mealtime simple
5. Put your phone on focus mode
6. Put your favorite dishes on delivery apps to make dinner easier
7. Create a group chat group with “need to know” people
8. Acquire an automatic feeder for your dog
9. Buy coordinated outfits to make it easier to get dressed
10. Remove the middle sheet on your bed for easier bed-making
- Mom lives the dream: quietly quitting household chores to see if her family notices ›
- Therapist with ADHD explains how she 'learned to clean as a messy person' ›
- AOC just sent out a 'nice and unexpected' email about burnout ... ›
- Why social media makes you feel bored all the time - Upworthy ›
- People who do "nothing" at work explain what they do all day - Upworthy ›
- ‘Quiet cracking’: The silent crisis impacting half of all workers - Upworthy ›
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."