Every man should see the infuriating reaction to this woman's blog post.
Warning: contains graphic, threatening language.
At the end of March, a group of ambitious women launched SH//FT a nonprofit that provides opportunities in the virtual reality industry for women and underrepresented groups.
Awesome right?! Well not everyone thought so.
Helen Situ, one of the organizers, wrote a post announcing the launch. But once the news broke, a lot of people got quite upset. People actually got angry.
Well, men got angry.
A lot of men on Facebook and Reddit got incredibly defensive.
In SH//FT’s blog post, Situ stated that less than 20% of the workforce in tech are women. She didn’t say that it was men’s fault, she didn’t whine, she didn’t do anything like that.
All SH//FT said was that there aren’t a lot of women in tech (which is true) and that they’re going to work hard to break down barriers and create equal opportunities.
But the guys weren’t having any of it.
Here’s what the angry men on the internet don’t understand. Or, maybe, don’t want to understand.
First of all, women supporting each other is awesome.
Photo via iStock.
But beyond that, I wish these guys understood what these women are really talking about. It’s not just about women “trying hard.”
It’s about much more than that.
Tech, and many other industries, have been male-dominated for so long, there are a lot of nuances, traditions, and interactions catered to males (like Microsoft having scantily clad female dancers at one of their parties).
These things can make women understandably uncomfortable. It’s not how a welcoming environment is created.
But a lot of people don’t seem to understand that we aren’t as welcoming toward women as we need to be. A lot of men don’t understand.
Maybe we need to try harder.
I want the women of the world to know there are men who support them. But we need to open our eyes.
The ladies are doing their part. Now it’s time to do ours.
Don’t be this guy (who suggests that the only place women have in virtual reality is in porn):
And don’t be this guy:
Be this person:
Or this person:
Or this person:
The reality is that it can be uncomfortable for women to work in a male-dominated environment that isn’t empathetic and welcoming.
And that’s why there are a lot fewer females in tech than males.
A lot of males do not understand this. A lot of us do. But in order to help, those of us who do understand have to know what women are up against.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."