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People are sharing the adult problems that 'nobody prepared you for' and they're so true

Here are 21 of the most relatable.

being an adult, adult lessons, growing up
via PixaBay

Being an adult is tough.

Nothing can ever fully prepare you for being an adult. Once you leave childhood behind, the responsibilities, let-downs and setbacks come at you fast. It’s tiring and expensive, and there's no easy-to-follow roadmap for happiness and success. A Reddit user asked the online forum, “What’s an adult problem nobody prepared you for?” and there were a lot of profound answers that get to the heart of the disappointing side of being an adult.

One theme that ran through many responses is the feeling of being set adrift. When you’re a kid, the world is laid out as a series of accomplishments. You learn to walk, you figure out how to use the bathroom, you start school, you finish school, maybe you go to college, and so on.

However, once we’re out of the school system and out from under our parents’ roofs, there is a vast, complicated world out there and it takes a long time to learn how it works. The tough thing is that if you don’t get a good head start, you can spend the rest of your life playing catch-up.

Then, you hit middle age and realize that life is short and time is only moving faster.

Adulthood also blindsides a lot of people because we realize that many adults are simply children who grew older. The adult world is a lot more like high school than a teenager could ever imagine.

The Reddit thread may seem a bit depressing at first, but there are a lot of great lessons that younger people can take to heart. The posts will also make older people feel a lot better because they can totally relate.

Being an adult is hard, exhausting and expensive. But we’re all in this together and by sharing the lessons we’ve learned we can help lighten each other's load just a bit.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?”

1. Lack of purpose

"Lack of purpose. All your young life you are given purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning," — Captain_Snow.

2. No bed time

"You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn't," — geek-fit

3. Friendships

"Where did all my friends go?" — I_Love_Small_Breasts

Most of them are at the same place as you are ... Probably wondering the same thing," — Blackdraon003

4. Bodily changes

"I'm closer to fifty than forty, would have been nice to be better prepared for some of the ways your body starts to change at this point that don't normally get talked about. For instance your teeth will start to shift from general aging of your gums," — dayburner.

5. People don't change

"Didnt know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and its almost impossible to deal with logically," — Super-Progress-6386

6. Money

"$5K is a lot to owe, but not a lot to have," — Upper-Job5130

7. Our parents age, too

"Handling the decline and death of your parents," - Agave666

8. Free time

"Not having a lot of free-time or time by myself," — detective_kiara

9. No goals

"Not having a pre-defined goal once I was out of college. Growing up my goals were set for me: get through elementary school! then middle school! Then high school, and get into college and get a degree, then get a job, and then...? Vague "advance in your career, buy a house, find a spouse, have a kid or multiple, then retire." At 22 I had no idea how to break that down more granularly," — FreehandBirdlime

10. Constant upkeep

"Life is all about maintenance. Your body, your house, your relationships, everything requires constant never ending maintenance," — IHateEditedBGMusic

11. Exhaustion

"Being able to do so many things because I'm an adult but too tired to do any of them," — London82

12. Loneliness

"Being an adult feels extremely lonely," — Bluebloop0

13. Dinner

"Having to make dinner every. Fucking. Day," — EndlesslyUnfinished

14. Time changes

"The more life you’ve lived, the faster time seems to go," — FadedQuill

15. You're responsibile, even if you didn't mean it

"You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don't think they're responsible for mistakes. You are," — grishamlaw

16. Work is like high school

"The intricacies of workplace politics," — Steve_Lobsen writes. "

"When you're in school, you think that you won't have to deal with gossiping and bullying once you leave school. Unfortunately, that is not true," — lady_laughs_too_much

17. Nowhere to turn

"How easy it is to feel stuck in a bad situation (job, relationship, etc) just because the cost and effort of getting out can seem daunting. And sometimes you just have to accept a figurative bowl full of shit because you can't afford to blow up your life," — movieguy95453

18. The happiness question

"Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you're good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy," — eternalwanderer5

19. Constant cleaning

"The kitchen is always dirty. You’ll clean it at least three times every day," — cewnc

20. Life costs money

"One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that's not always the case! I've had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it's been a difficult process," — Dull_Dog_8126

21. Keeping above water

"All of it together. I was relatively warned about how high rent is, car bills and repairs, how buying healthy food is expensive as hell but important for your health, how to exercise and save what you can, my parents did their best to fill in my knowledge about taxes and healthcare and insurance that my schooling missed, about driving and cleaning a household, about setting boundaries at work but working hard and getting ahead if you can, about charity and what it means to take care of a pet and others, about being a good partner if you were lucky enough to have one, about how dark and messed up the world is when you just read the news and what all that means to me and my community… I was reasonably warned about all of it.

"No one could have ever prepared me for how hard doing all of it at the same time and keeping your head above that water would actually be," — ThatNoNameWriter


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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Massachusetts woman writes her own obituary, leaving her grieving family laughing at her wit

"Well, if you're reading this obituary, I'm dead. WOW, it actually happened..."

Linda Murphy Obituary/McCarthy Funeral Home and Photo credit: Canva

Massachusetts woman's obituary leaves her family laughing

It can be depressing to think about your own mortality, but inevitably, everyone will eventually die. Those diagnosed with a terminal illness have the unfortunate task of thinking about the inevitability much sooner than their peers. Still, those like Linda Murphy aren't letting a diagnosis steal their humor.

Murphy seemed to be the life of the party, always ready to have a good time with friends and family. But over a decade ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer; after beating that disease, she was diagnosed with Bulbar ALS, which runs in her family.

In her self-written obituary, she shares that her father, who passed away shortly before Murphy, lost his own mother to the same disease. Although devastating, the disease allowed her time to write her own obituary, which left her family and others giggling.

\u200bMassachusetts; Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Glowing tealights in peaceful ambiance.Photo credit: Canva

She starts by pointing out the obvious, "Well, if you are reading this obituary, it looks like I'm dead." That's when the humor kicks in as she jokes about dying from fear of missing out, "WOW, it actually happened ... I died of FOMO due to complications of Bulbar ALS."

Murphy points out that she was just 60 years old and way too young to die, but unfortunately, ALS had other plans. She was loved, as evidenced by her daughter's interview with the local news station. One section of her obituary is all about the yummy food she missed out on due to her no longer being able to swallow.

Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Friends enjoying a delicious meal together.Photo credit: Canva

"As far as eating, it totally stinks to sit at the table while people around you are eating juicy burgers hot off the grill, heaping piles of Chinese food, a healthy portion of pasta Alfredo, or Chipotle — and I just have to smile and act like I'm enjoying my bowl of puréed baby mush!" she wrote.

Even though she expressed how hard it was to live with her disease, Murphy still made sure to throw in some laughs.

While talking about her 42-year marriage to husband David, she teases about the couple becoming a throuple when she had to be put on a respirator. "We both agreed, I was an "A" wife and he was a "B+" husband for a total "A-" which is pretty decent for 42 years together!!!" she wrote. "We became a thruple about 1.5 years ago when, Hosee, (my respirator) moved into our marital bed. From then on, David woke up next to what looked like a fighter pilot with smooshed hair!"

Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Saying goodbye with lilies and love.Photo credit: Canva

Murphy highlights her superpowers before her final plea for kindness. The woman was joyous even after death. Maybe it was her way of easing things for her family members or for herself. Maybe it was simply because that's who she was as a person, and she used her obituary as the final moment to give others a glimpse into her personality. Either way, her reminders about kindness and living life fully are lessons that can extend far beyond her family and friends.

"I lived my life with two super powers," she wrote. "My first, of which everyone was jealous, was that I could drink as much as I wanted and never seemed to get a hangover ... the real wonder is why I didn't die of liver failure. My second super power is that I was always genuinely happy and absolutely loved to be with nice people. Please be kind to everyone: the telemarketer, the grocery clerk, the Dunkin's staff, the tailgater, your family, your friends. Speak nicely and positively. Is there really ever a reason to be negative? I don't think so…"

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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'27 old, 62 young': Insightful guy claims these are young and old ages, regardless of chronology

"I can’t explain it, but I get the logic behind this."

via Canva/Photos

A 27-year-old woman and a 62-year-old woman.

Ben Keenan, a travel and culture content creator and podcaster, did a great job of saying out loud what many people feel but can’t put into words. When it comes to age, some people feel younger or older regardless of their chronological age. It’s like we get to a certain point where we feel like aging is accelerating, and then, suddenly, context changes, and we feel younger again. Different eras hit differently.

A lot of it has to do with juxtaposing ourselves with our younger or older peers, or whether we are new or experienced in certain phases of life. Like, some people feel like they are an old young person at 39, but suddenly, they hit 40 and feel like a young older person. It’s a beautiful thing knowing that, although you may feel like you’re at an "old age" right now, you may suddenly feel younger on your next birthday.

In a viral Instagram video, Keenan laid out the ages that feel young or old.


Which ages are young and which are old (according to Ben Keenan)

21 to 26, YOUNG

27 to 32, OLD

33 to 36, YOUNG

37 to 39, OLD

40 to 45, YOUNG

46 to 49, OLD

50, YOUNG

51 to 52, OLD

53 to 59, YOUNG

60 to 61, OLD

62 to 65, YOUNG

66 to 68, OLD

69 to 74, YOUNG

75 and up, OLD

The video received nearly unanimous love in the comments, where many people tried to explain why Keenan makes so much emotional sense, though it’s a little shaky on logic.

ahah moment, lightbulb moment, brilliant idea, thought, inspired man A man has a brilliant idea.via Canva/Photos

"People call 30 'old’ because it’s the first collision with real adulthood—the end of carefree youth. Then 31–36 feels young again as you realize nothing truly changed and you’re still growing, just with more confidence. Around 37–39, life’s weight reappears—aging parents, shifting priorities, subtle reminders of time—so it feels “old” again. But by 40, you’ve accepted it all; you stop comparing, start owning who you are, and that acceptance brings back a sense of youth. Rinse and repeat," Ulises wrote.

“Can confirm that when I turned 37, I felt old. I turn 40 this week and feel SO YOUNG. I guess I’ll look forward to following your pattern for the rest of my life,” Heather commented.

“When I turned 60 last year, I decided that I’d gone from a very old young person, to a very young old person - the youngest in my cohort. Cheered me right up,” Jane added.


Does the aging process speed up?

Keenan’s post points out that feeling young or old isn’t necessarily a matter of age, but scientists say there are two significant moments in life when we experience spurts in aging. Researchers at Stanford tracked thousands of different molecules in people aged 25 to 75 and found that people tend to make two big leaps—one around 44 and another around 60.

Keenan’s theory of aging and his followers' rapturous support of the idea should make everyone feel a little better about getting older. If you feel old today, wait a few years, and then you may feel young again. It makes the adage, “Age ain’t nothing but a number,” seem true. According to Keenan, age isn’t really a number, but a phase.

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New study shows the top 36 names most likely to get hired

Would you rather hire Rita or Joanne? Warren or Eric?

Photo credit: Canva

The Bouba-Kiki effect is at it again.

Any parent who’s ever spent hours debating potential baby names can tell you the struggle is very, very real. It can be a mental minefield striking a balance between timeless and unique, authentic but not too hard to pronounce, meaningful but not the source of major embarrassment in years to come—no wonder some people pay upwards of $30K to have someone else do it for them.

Add to that the added dilemma of choosing a name that could make or break your child’s hireability? No pressure!

According to a study from Carleton University in Canada, some names do, in fact, sound more “hireable” than others.

Participants in the study were asked to choose between two job candidates using only their first names, with no other credentials. More specifically, they were asked to select which name was more likely to reflect someone with at least one of these hireable personality traits: honesty-humility, emotionality, extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness (i.e., how organized or hard-working a person is), and openness to experience.

The results? Smooth, melodic names that were sonorant-heavy—think long, round vowels and softer nasal-y consonants like m’s and l’s—tended to win the job offer. Congrats to all the Joannas, Noels, Laurens, and Liams out there!

baby names, most hireable names, most successful names, parents ,success, jobs, work Personally, I prefer the spikey names. Is that just me? media0.giphy.com

Conversely, names containing abrupt voiceless stops (p’s, t’s, and k’s) weren’t so favorable. Sorry, Rita, Eric, Kathy, and Hector.

This study reflects principles of the well-studied “Bouba/Kiki effect,” which shows that humans automatically associate specific images with certain words. Round vowel-heavy words (bouba) seem softer, while short vowel-hard consonant words (kiki) seem more aggressive. So it stands to reason that in this experiment—where people are looking for agreeable, peaceful candidates—those with more bouba-leaning names would win.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Of course, this doesn’t even take into account how socio-demographic cues, such as race and age, can trigger a bias. But it does show how much impact a name really has on how we are seen in the world. “The sound of a name might be one additional source of bias in hiring decisions,” said researchers David Sidhu and Penny Pexman. “When people don’t have much to go on, there really is a lot in a name.”

Without further ado, here are those names…

Names more likely to get a job:

  • Anne
  • Joanna
  • June
  • Lanah
  • Laurel
  • Lauren
  • Lois
  • Luna
  • Mara
  • Marla
  • Megan
  • Mona
  • Myah
  • Noelle
  • Norah
  • Nya
  • Renee
  • Rosanne
  • Abel
  • Allen
  • Lewis
  • Linus
  • Lorne
  • Lou
  • Lyle
  • Miles
  • Milo
  • Morris
  • Moses
  • Nathan
  • Noam
  • Noel
  • Owen
  • Ronin
  • Warren
  • Will

Names are less likely to get a job

  • Rita
  • Erica
  • Etta
  • Patty
  • Christie
  • Katie
  • Kasey
  • Petra
  • Kathy
  • Katia
  • Kate
  • Trista
  • Tracy
  • Pippa
  • Tessa
  • Tia
  • Greta
  • Yvette
  • Eric
  • Hector
  • Chris
  • Curtis
  • Kirk
  • Ted
  • Titus
  • Tucker
  • Tate
  • Terry
  • Pierce
  • Carter
  • Kipp
  • Kurt
  • Jack
  • Victor
  • Garrett
  • Zach

Thankfully, more information is usually available in actual hiring scenarios. Even within the study itself, researchers found that when participants were shown photos or videos of the candidates, the influence of the name decreased exponentially. So while there might be some benefit to having a soft, melodic name, it isn't the ultimate factor in gauging a person's potential.

Every parent wants to give their child the best start possible. So it can be compelling and wise to consider at least how a name might level the playing field for their kid in a world where bias can sneak in from the very first line of a résumé.

But perhaps the real takeaway here isn’t to pressure parents even more. Instead, it’s a reminder to employers to look past names entirely. Tracy or Zach can be just as collaborative, ambitious, and hard-working as Will or Mara.

Maybe if studies like this keep getting attention, that’s the change we’ll see next—a world where every name carries the same promise of possibility.

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