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6 states where the minimum wage and cost of living offer the best bang for your buck

The highest state minimum wage in the U.S. is now $16.28 per hour, but some cities are even higher.

map of u.s. showing minimum wage by state
Map via Wikimedia Commons (multiple creators)

State minimum wages range from $7.25/hr to $17.00/hr in 2024.

Public discourse about minimum wage and living wages has been ongoing for years, with people debating whether the government should mandate a minimum hourly pay for workers. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the first federal minimum wage law in 1938, setting the lowest wage a worker could be paid at 25 cents per hour. Nearly a century later, the federal minimum wage is $7.25/hr, holding steady since 2009, with people lobbying to raise it to at least $15/hr for over a decade.

However, in addition to federal law, each state has its own laws, a handful of which establish a state minimum wage higher than $15, a handful of which don't have a set minimum wage at all and everything in between. Cost of living has also been a hot topic as inflation has squeezed everyone's wallets and certain cities and states have become utterly unaffordable, especially for people in low-wage jobs or who who are just starting out in their careers. So how do minimum wage and cost of living correlate state-by-state? Are there any sweet spots with a high(er) minimum wage and low(er) cost of living?

While there’s no perfect storm of super low cost of living and super high minimum wage—for instance, Washington, D.C. has the highest state minimum wage at $17/hr, but housing costs 140% more than the national average—there are some states where the ratio is far more favorable than others. According to Insider Monkey, here are the top six states where you can get the most bang for your minimum wage buck.

6. New Mexico

The Land of Enchantment offers a relatively decent living for its $12/hr minimum wage thanks to the state's below average cost of living. According to Rent Cafe, housing in New Mexico is 8% lower than the national average, monthly utilities are 9% lower, food is 4% lower, transportation is 3% lower and healthcare, goods and services are 2% lower.

According to Smart Asset, Albuquerque, New Mexico ranks as No. 10 in U.S. cities where minimum wage goes the furthest.

5. New Jersey

The Garden State's relatively higher-than-average cost of living is counteracted by relatively solid minimum wage of $14.13/hr. Most of the cost of living in New Jersey is wrapped up in housing, which is 30% higher than the national average, according to Rent Cafe, and utilities, which are 12% higher. Goods and services are 5% higher, but healthcare is 2% lower than the national average. Food and transportation are 1% and 2% higher, respectively.

4. Connecticut

With both a cost of living and minimum wage slightly higher than New Jersey, Connecticut rolls in at No. 4 with a $15/hr minimum wage. Where the Constitution State hits hardest is in utilities, which Rent Cafe places at 30% higher than the national average, and housing, which is 24% higher. Healthcare and goods and services are both 9% higher, while transportation and food are just 1% and 2% above average.

3. Missouri

The Show-Me State says, "Show me the money!" with its somewhat respectable $12/hr minimum wage, which goes pretty far with its relatively low cost of living. Housing is the biggest cost benefit Missouri offers at 18% lower than the national average. But utilities, food, healthcare, and goods and services are also all below average, with only transportation landing right at the national average.

Additionally, St. Louis clocked in at No. 5 for a minimum wage real-world value of $13.68 when adjusting for the city's lower-than-average cost of living.

2. Washington

With the highest state minimum wage in the nation (unless you count Washington, D.C.), Washington's $16.48/hr puts it in second place when accounting for cost of living. Make no mistake, Washington isn't cheap overall, with a cost of living 15% higher than the national average. Housing and transportation hit hard at 29% and 27% higher than the national average, respectively. Healthcare is pricey as well at 20% higher than average. Food costs 12% more, but utilities clock in at 7% less than the national average.

Two cities in Washington hit the top 15 for highest real minimum wage value, though, with Seattle at No. 13 and Spokane at No. 2.

map of united states with these states highlighted in green: Washington, New Mexico, Missouri, Illinois, New Jersey and Connecticut

These six states offer the best minimum wage to cost of living ratio.

Created with mapchart.net

1. Illinois

If you want the best bang for your minimum wage buck, head to the Prairie State with its $13/hr minimum wage and 8% lower than average cost of living. Housing in Illinois is 22% lower than average and utilities are 10% lower. The only expense that comes in higher than average for Illinois is transportation at 3% above average, which isn't enough to keep it out of the top spot.

However, there are some minimum wage sweet spots in certain U.S. cities that aren't reflected in these state rankings. According to Smart Asset, Denver, CO, is the city where minimum wage goes the farthest in the nation. Colorado comes in at a respectable 7th place in state minimum-wage-to-cost-of-living ratio, but Denver has its own mandatory minimum wage of $18.29/hr.

A citywide minimum wage is part of what puts Seattle at the No. 13 spot on that same list. Seattle is one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., but its $19.97 minimum wage for most workers changes the ratio in its favor.

Other cities in the top 10 include Buffalo, NY; Minneapolis, MN; Tucson, AZ; St. Paul, MN; Phoenix, AZ and Stockton, CA.

The minimum wage conversation may vary widely across the U.S., with different costs of living and different state laws on the books. But if you're looking to move someplace where your wage will go the furthest, these six states will likely be your best bet to check out first.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

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Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

 
 @tarareynolds03 

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

 ♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds 
 
  This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
 “If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

 
 @caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW 
 
 

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

 
 @puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay 
 
 

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

 
 @megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani 
 
 

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In. 

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Sustainability

Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. 6 years later, here are the results.

Their engineering feats are pretty dam incredible.

Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado that are part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

 beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change Beaver in water.  Photo by Svetozar Cenisev on Unsplash  

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? It just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

Beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being in danger, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But enough have stayed and built dams since 2019 that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving. Residents of Utah are overjoyed at the results of the experiment.

A column in The Salt Lake Tribune from 2025 (six years after the beaver translocation began) writes that the revitalization of the Price River "helped save our Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper. On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

 beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price RiverPublic Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael river, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In on area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

To that I say...it's about dam time!

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10 corporate secrets to moving up quickly in your career—while others don’t

“Knowing how to play the game is an extremely valuable skill.”

Photo credit: Canva

Why do some people shoot up to manager positions while others stay behind?

Following the smashing television sensation, Succession, and later, Industry, it’s no surprise that everyone is clamoring for their way up the corporate ladder. However, real life is nothing like the glossy—albeit, depressing—floors of Waystar Royco; in the real world there are evil bosses, annoying coworkers, and pesky KPIs that need to be dealt with, leaving many workers wondering, “Is this really what I signed up for?”

That’s at the heart of this question posted to r/careerguidance on Reddit, anyway. User @Ok-Living5146 asked, “What is the secret to some people moving up fast in their careers while others don’t?”

They added some context, writing, “I’ve been in the same ‘level’ of job for years, and it has been frustrating watching people with less experience or less education soar up into these big roles. I’ll often see Directors who have less education or years in the field than I do, or people who randomly shoot up into manager positions or even higher. What exactly is the secret?”

Reddit, as it frequently does, responded in droves. We’ve compiled 10 of the best advice nuggets, below.


 team, corporate, business, meeting, skills How much does "being good and looking tall" matter in a corporate setting?Photo credit: Canva

 

“Charisma, communication skills…”

 

For @fortyeightD, success in a corporate context looks an awful like a grocery shopping list. The user rattles off different attributes to succeeding at work, writing:

“Charisma. Communication skills. Building rapport with the right people. Being good and looking tall. Confidence. Ability to make a decision under pressure. Public speaking skills. Being someone who others respect and look up to. Good grooming and dress sense and hygiene. Being reliable. Being positive and not complaining. Sharing the CEO’s LinkedIn posts. Sucking up. Matching the manager’s biases/preferences for age/race/religion/gender. Giving the appearance of going above and beyond for the company. Nepotism. Attending all social functions and chatting to senior leaders and telling them their ideas are brilliant. Taking on extra responsibilities like joining committees. Working on high-visibility projects. Being the spokesperson in any group situation.”

They also added,

“Record metrics for anything that you work on, so you can tell your manager hard numbers about how you have improved things. For example customer satisfaction, reducing expenses, increasing sales, reducing tickets, etc.”

Easy, right?

Another person jokingly replied, “Yea, I’m not moving up.”


via GIPHY


“Be the squeaky wheel”

 

User @Deep-Library-8041 shared a great anecdote:

“Only thing I’d add is being vocal about career goals and wanting to move up. I was on a small team of three—me and another person with the same title, plus our manager. After getting settled into the role, in our 1:1’s I shared my career goals and asked for help getting there. So over the course of three years she introduced me to people; when an opportunity popped up she put me forward, supported me when I had new ideas, etc. And at each annual review, I put a lot of effort into showing evidence of my growth, ambition, and results.

My colleague stayed silent. She never spoke up, tried to gain visibility, said no to new projects, etc. I know she’s resentful, but people aren’t mind readers. Be the squeaky wheel—know what you want and ask to be coached how to get there.”

Another prescient commenter added,

“Sounds like you had an excellent manager.”

To which, @Deep-Library-8041 replied, “Yes—should edit to add that you need a supportive manager to make this happen!”

 

“An ongoing problem with yes-men…”

 

This one unfolded like a duet, told in two parts. The first, from @billsil, who wrote:

“I asked my friend who was in a VP level role at 27. She told me she knew the product top to bottom better than anyone because she had done such a variety of things on it. The CEO trusted her to tell her the truth, which was an ongoing problem of yes-men.

She had quite the target on her back and dealt with a lot of shit from other people, but she only took shots at people who deserved it. Having dealt with them, I was happy someone could put them in their place.”


 team, corporate, business, meeting, skills If you find a company that values your contributions, you will know. Photo credit: Canva

Then, @tennisgoddes1 replied,

“Spot on for generally any company. If you work at a good company that values your contributions and leadership skills, you will know immediately if you are at one of those companies because your skills will be recognized. Respect for your input and experience will be given. It’s quite refreshing.”

 

“You do not progress simply because you are good at your work”

 

A dose of reality, shared by @senpai07373:

“You need to realize one important thing. You do not progress simply because you are good at your work, and you work for many years. If you want to progress, you have to show that you have skills needed to level up job. You can be the most brilliant specialist with 15 years of experience, yet you still might not have the capacity to be manager, not to mention director. Being great at your work can and should give your bonus, can and should get you a raise. But just being great at your work is not the most important thing when you look for progress.”

via GIPHY


 

“Knowing how to play the game…”

 

Some career coaching, courtesy of @throwawayOnTheWayO (who seems like they read Machiavelli’s The Prince or The Art of War a few hundred times):

“Knowing how to play the game is an extremely valuable skill, the most valuable skill, in fact.

No one cares how long you’ve worked at a company. Why would they? If someone came in and was able to learn in 1 year everything that you did in your 5 years, then more power to them. The state of the company right now is probably nothing like it was 5 years ago, and leadership’s plans for the future may include not wanting anything from the past to keep it down.

Companies that grow and make money do so because of smart decisions by competent leadership. They don’t just happen to make money and happen to stay in business for years or decades on dumb luck. It is not easy to keep a company up and running. Once you recognize that most leaders are actually competent and are dealing with numerous variables that you have no knowledge or understanding of, then you can drop your cynicism and start to move up.

Leadership requires effective social skills and the ability to navigate hierarchies, in addition to the skills necessary to handle the day to day of the job.”

 

“Career movement itself is a skill”

 

User @Momjamoms offered some wisdom, commenting:

“Through my decades in corporate America, I've seen lots of people work really really hard hoping they'll be noticed and promoted because they were taught that hard work pays off. In reality, it never works that way. Career movement itself is a skill that requires stellar communication skills and constant, active campaigning.”

via GIPHY

To which, another user replied:

“This. It has nothing to do with your ability to do your job. It is all about people skills.”

 

“Why should they promote you?”

 

Sometimes, the grass really is greener in the other pasture, reminds user @Ok_Push2550. They wrote,

“Changing jobs.

If you've been there for years (5 or more), and haven't left, why should they promote you? If you're doing well enough to not get fired, then they can hire from outside to get someone with more talent and drive to do something big.

If you go somewhere else, it signals to your new employer (and old employer) that you're not satisfied with what you have, and want more.”

via GIPHY

A different user agreed, commenting:

“Exactly this. That is how I got promoted twice over the past 7 years, applying for a better position in two companies. That's also how I doubled my salary while my colleague from the first job is still in the same position even though we started on the same day.”

 

“Confidence.”

 

For a more measured, achievable response, look to @OGP01, who wrote:

“Multiple moves into slightly bigger roles. Makes them look experienced.

Building good relationships with senior leaders. Talking to them regularly.

Being known for their team's achievements that they enabled. But at the same time praising members of their team for delivering these results.

Confidence. Being able to bullshit their way through anything, even if they haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about.”

 

“Build a relationship with someone in the C-Suite…”

 

Although, if you want a true cheat code, @Willing-Bit2581 has the answer:

“Build a relationship with someone in the C-Suite, that can put you on a track… I've witnessed a 35-year-old woman got from Audit Manager to Sr. Manager to Director to AVP in less than 5 years. She’s clearly being groomed for higher roles.

Saw another woman in late thirties, some went from Sr. Analyst to VP in less than 10 years.”

via GIPHY


 

“Education and experience matter, but they’re table stakes”

 

Another dose of likeability reality, this time, from @Significant_Soup2558:

“Likability often trumps competence. People promote people they enjoy working with, people who make their lives easier, and people who fit the company culture.

This is how you do it. Favor visibility over competence. Treat networking as part of the job, both within and outside the company. Understand that perception is reality. Be strategic about job changes. Use a service like Applyre to job search passively.

Your education and experience matter, but they're table stakes. The people passing you by figured out that career advancement is a different skill set entirely from doing the actual work well.”


 team, corporate, business, meeting, skills People skills matter in workplace. Photo credit: Canva

 

So, will you be taking the advice from these expert corporate Redditors? See you in the C-Suite.

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Science

A sea lion hopped on a woman's boat to escape a group of killer whales and the footage is wild

What would you do if you were in the boat?

Screenshots via @castrowas95/Twitter

A seal escaping a killer whale attack.

In the Pacific Northwest, orca sightings are a fairly common occurrence. Still, tourists and locals alike marvel when a pod of "sea pandas" swims by, whipping out their phones to capture some of nature's most beautiful and intelligent creatures in their natural habitat. While orcas aren't a threat to humans, there's a reason they're called "killer whales." To their prey, which includes just about everything that swims except humans, they are terrifying apex predators who hunt in packs and will even coordinate to attack whales several times their own size.

So if you're a human alone on a little platform boat, and a sea lion that a group of orcas was eyeing for lunch jumps onto your boat, you might feel a little wary. Especially when those orcas don't just swim on by, but surround you head-on.

Watch exactly that scenario play out (language warning, if you've got wee ones you don't want f-bombed):


 

Ummm, yeah. An orca sighting is one thing, but this is a whole other story. Orcas have been known to knock large prey off of icebergs, so the whole "orcas don't hurt humans" thing doesn't feel super reassuring in this scenario.

The footage came from TikTok user @nutabull, whose now-deleted account stated she was from Vancouver Island.

The viral video sparked a debate about whether the sea lion should be kicked off the boat or not. The woman kept telling the sea lion it "had to go" with a frank "Sorry, buddy, that's life," message, though she never actively tried to push it off. Many commenters joked about yeeting the sea lion off the boat to avoid a potentially disastrous encounter with the orcas. Others were on #teamsealion, saying they wouldn't have the heart to boot the poor thing.

It's a big philosophical question. The philosophical underpinnings of the belief that humans should stay out of the matters of wild animals, so as not to interrupt the delicate balance of nature, is called "relational non-interventionism." The philosophy holds that we have no general obligation to alleviate animal suffering, and that we typically do not have special obligations to ease the suffering of wild animals. Therefore, we generally do not have a duty to intervene in nature to ease the suffering of wild animals. That's one thing to believe, but who wants to see animals suffer?


The reality is orcas eat sea lions—the circle of life and whatnot. Most of us just don't find ourselves in the middle of that circle, having to figure out whether the apex predators surrounding our boat are going to patiently wait for their lunch to come back or take it upon themselves to bump it back into the water.

Thankfully for the woman, the sea lion seemed to decide on its own that its options were limited and dove back in to take its chances with the orcas. But phew, that encounter would be harrowing for just about anyone.

Best of luck, sea lion. Hope you're an exceptional swimmer.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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75 years ago psychologist Rollo May proposed a revolutionary change to how we see anxiety

This would radically change how we approach mental health.

Canva

An anxious person covers their face. Sheet music.

What if we could reframe the way we view anxiety? Instead of it being this negative, festering nuisance, could it be finessed into something that's ultimately positive?

Well, psychologist Rollo May–who was often considered one of the most renowned existential psychologists/philosophers of his time–believed that the way many of us think about anxiety is all wrong. In 1950, May released his book The Meaning of Anxiety, which was revised and re-released in 1977, and sought to challenge the belief that anxiety is a "bad" emotion. Instead, May suggests it's a feeling that should serve as a reminder to "take action."

 Rollo May, psychology, anxiety, psychologist, positive, negative Archivo:Rollo May USD Alcalá 1977.jpg - Wikipedia, la enciclopedia ...  es.m.wikipedia.org  

Of the latter 1977 release, Goodreads describes it as, "the first modern book on anxiety following Freud and Kierkegaard. May challenges the idea that 'mental health is living without anxiety,' believing it is essential to being human. He explores how it can relieve boredom, sharpen sensibilities, and produce the tension necessary to preserve human existence."

The gist is that anxiety can't be ignored as it's such a normal part of the human condition. Instead, it should be used as a guide to cultivate knowledge, spring into action, and enhance creativity.

In the late 1980s, May sat for an interview entitled "The Human Dilemma with Rollo May" as part of Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series. Among many ideas discussed, Mishlove asks, "When you speak of anxiety, you don't think of it as a symptom to be removed, but rather as a gateway for exploration into the meaning of life."


May gives a resounding, "Yes, you got that exactly!" He adds, "I think anxiety is associated with creativity. When you're in a situation of anxiety, you can of course run away from it and that's certainly not constructive." He then exemplifies the "no-nonsense" approach he was often known for: "You could take a bunch of pills to get over it or cocaine or whatever else you may take."

Mishlove interjects, "You could meditate." May responds, "You could meditate. But I think none of those things, including meditation–which I happen to believe in–but none of those paths lead you to creative activity."

"What anxiety means," he continues, "is it's as though the world were knocking at your door. That you need to create. You need to make something. You need to DO something. And I think anxiety, thus, is well for people who have found their own heart and their own souls. For them, it is a stimulus toward creativity, toward courage. It's what makes us human beings."

The full interview contains a moment when Mishlove states, "I suppose much of anxiety comes from the basic human dilemma of being mortal. Of ultimately having to confront our own demise."

  -Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series with guest Rollo May  www.youtube.com  

May answers, in part: "Man is the only creature—men, women and children sometimes, even—who can be aware of their death. And out of that comes normal anxiety. When I can let myself FEEL that, I apply myself to new ideas. I write books. I communicate with my fellows. In other words, the creative interchange of human personality rests upon the fact that we know we're going to die…Our knowledge of our death is what gives us a normal anxiety that says to us to make the most of these years you are alive. And that's what I've tried to do."

Mishlove also points out, "Another source of anxiety you've described in your writing, is our very freedom. The ability to make choices and to have to confront the consequences of those choices." May once again agrees. "Freedom is also the mother of anxiety. If you had no freedom, you'd have no anxiety."

He's essentially stating that again, anxiety comes from the very act of being aware of our own consciousness. "Those of us who do have anxiety are alert, alive. We're aware that what we do matters. We only have about 70 or 80 or 90 years in which to do it, so why not do it and get joy out of it, rather than running away from it?'

The comments sections across the board are full of insightful thoughts. This person sums it up nicely: "Our existential freedom is what allows us to feel anxiety and despair; this, in turn, gives rise to creativity, growth, understanding, and joy. It's almost like anxiety and creativity are two sides of the same coin."


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Man shares the brilliant ‘Les Mis’ flash mob he gave his husband on their 10th anniversary

"And yet with you my world has started."

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A scene from the musical Les Misérables

Some love simply can't be expressed without a flash mob. And singing. Lots and lots of singing. For TV writer, producer, and actor Gary Janetti, this was the case. On the 10th wedding anniversary with his husband, popular TV stylist Brad Goreski, Janetti secretly gathered friends, family, and professional singers to pop up and sing "One Day More" from the hit musical Les Misérables (based on Victor Hugo's novel of the same name). And it was anything but miserable.

 Les Miserables, musical, play, French revolution, art A poster for the musical Les Miserables on a tall building.  Photo by Samuel Regan-Asante on Unsplash  

First shared publicly on Goreski's Bravo TV show It's a Brad, Brad World, this moment has been bringing people joy for over a decade. Here's how it went down: In the resurfaced Instagram clip, which Janetti rcently posted to honor their 24th wedding anniversary, Goreski is seated in a chair outside. It seems as though a man is serenading him with the fight song "One More Day." Encapsulating the Jean Valjean character, he stands in front of the crowd and sings his heart out. But then, out of nowhere, singer Jonah Platt (who happened to have worked with Janetti on Will & Grace) appears to sing Marius's part of the song. "I did not live until today," he croons. "How can I live when we are parted?"

Goreski is already beside himself, showing off a huge smile. That's when Trish (Brad's college friend, as written on the chyron) pops in to sing Cosette's beautiful soprano duet with Platt. "Tomorrow you'll be worlds away. And yet with you my world has started." Goreski audibly gasps as his delight cannot be contained.

And just like that, Goreski and Janetti's friend Megan Mullally (a Broadway star in her own right, best known to many as Karen from Will & Grace) stands and sings Éponine's heartbreaking solo. "One more day, I'm on my own. One more day with him not caring. What a life I might have known. But he never saw me there," she sings, nailing it. Goreski laughs and exclaims, "Shut uuuuup, oh my God!" as the crowd cheers.

From the back, we hear a booming voice belonging to Goreski and Janetti's friend, Alec. The crowd shifts to watch as he sings a battle cry, "One more day before the storm…" as the others continue their parts. At this point, Goreski just doesn't know WHERE to look, as there are so many surprises. Much of the audience swarms the stage to sing as "chorus" when Janetti himself finds his inner-Javert and sings, "One more day to revolution, we will nip it in the bud. We'll be ready for these schoolboys, we will wet themselves with blood."

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Just when it couldn't get more perfect, Goreski's own mother, Debbie, stands up and sings her solo, complete with cockney accent. At this point, Goreski is stomping his feet with happiness. The guests/chorus begin marching on stage as we flash to their friend James, who, of course, is also singing. People get hoisted up, as does a bright red flag—which luckily turns out NOT to be a metaphor for their marriage.

The crowd gasps and applauds as the flash mob brings it home. Goreski leads the much-earned standing ovation.

 standing ovation, Lin Manuel Miranda, Tony Awards, musical theater Lin Manuel Miranda at the Tony Awards.  Giphy  

The comments are nearly as delightful as the performance. Janetti explains, "Today is our 24th anniversary. I threw this flash mob for Brad for our 10th. I’ve been coasting off it ever since." To which Goreski hilariously retorts, "You sure have because I haven’t received an anniversary present from you since then."

Some beg the question many of us might have: "I’ll still never understand how all your friends and family are casually THIS good at singing."

Many point out how wonderful and inventive and romantic it all is. Though, a few were saddened this hasn't been done for them. As one puts it, "Well now I'm just mad at my husband...."


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