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23 things non-English-speaking immigrants gave us that we totally don't need. Not at all.

In a press conference Aug. 2, President Trump announced his support for a new immigration system that would "favor applicants who speak English."

Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

And not a moment too soon.


It's high time foreigners stop coming here with their funny accents, broken sentences, and inability to read the complete works of Marcel Proust, mucking things up for the rest of us.

Naysayers, of course, will note that — regardless of their English skills — immigrants are notstealing American jobs; they're simply doing different ones. And that they commit crime at lower rates than native born Americans. And that Proust is French.

But, really, that's all besides Trump's point, which is that this is America. We speak English, and damn it, we speak English in America.

"But what," the naysayers may continue naysaying, "about all the myriad diverse, essential contributions from non-native-English-speaking immigrants to our national economy, culture, and idea throughout history that have shaped and continue to shape our way of life?"

Simple.

Don't need 'em!

1. Who really needs to Google anything ever?

Douchey glasses aside, Google co-founder Sergey Brin was born in Russia, speaking Russian. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

2. Or look anything up on Yahoo. Who needs web search these days?

[rebelmouse-image 19474051 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Jerry Yang reportedly only knew one word of English when he moved to the U.S. in 1968. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images." expand=1]Jerry Yang reportedly only knew one word of English when he moved to the U.S. in 1968. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

3. The Pulitzer Prize? Named after a German-speaking immigrant? No big. Don't need an award for fake news anyway.

[rebelmouse-image 19474052 dam="1" original_size="700x899" caption="Lookin' at you, Joey Pulitzer. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images." expand=1]Lookin' at you, Joey Pulitzer. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

4. Speaking of German-speaking immigrants, we could also take or leave the atomic bomb, to be honest.

I'm sure everything would have been fine if pioneering nuclear physicist Albert Einstein had stayed in Germany. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

5. And blue jeans.

[rebelmouse-image 19474054 dam="1" original_size="700x502" caption="Levi Strauss spoke German and invented America's pant. Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr." expand=1]Levi Strauss spoke German and invented America's pant. Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

6. Definitely wouldn't be too tragic to lose the entire English-language filmography of Antonio Banderas.

[rebelmouse-image 19474055 dam="1" original_size="700x898" caption="Banderas learned his lines phonetically when starting out in Hollywood. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images." expand=1]Banderas learned his lines phonetically when starting out in Hollywood. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

7. Or "That 70s Show," "Family Guy," and all those weirdly sensual Jim Beam commercials.

[rebelmouse-image 19474056 dam="1" original_size="700x428" caption="Mila Kunis moved to the U.S. from Ukraine and learned English during her first year in school. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images." expand=1]Mila Kunis moved to the U.S. from Ukraine and learned English during her first year in school. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

8. And we could easily do with out all 137 Terminator movies — and eight years of oversight for our largest state economy — too.

[rebelmouse-image 19474057 dam="1" original_size="700x575" caption="Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Austrian musculature spoke only "a little English" when they arrived here in 1968. Photo by AFP/Getty Images." expand=1]Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Austrian musculature spoke only "a little English" when they arrived here in 1968. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

9. "God Bless America" is really an overrated song that we don't need.

[rebelmouse-image 19474058 dam="1" original_size="700x535" caption="Russian-born Irving Berlin also wrote "White Christmas," which is also overrated. Photo by Henry Guttmann/Getty Images." expand=1]Russian-born Irving Berlin also wrote "White Christmas," which is also overrated. Photo by Henry Guttmann/Getty Images.

10. Come to think of it, so is "Jump."

Eddie Van Halen is Dutch! Who knew? Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

11. And Budweiser beer isn't iconically American at all (regardless of how it tastes).

[rebelmouse-image 19474060 dam="1" original_size="700x525" caption="That goopy Super Bowl ad was right about Adolphus Busch trudging from Germany to the U.S. to invent the world's most medium beer. Photo by Dorisall/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]That goopy Super Bowl ad was right about Adolphus Busch trudging from Germany to the U.S. to invent the world's most medium beer. Photo by Dorisall/Wikimedia Commons.

12. A combined 3,060 singles, doubles, triples, and home runs over 16 years playing America's pastime? Take it or leave it.

[rebelmouse-image 19474061 dam="1" original_size="700x585" caption="Ichiro Suzuki only studied English through middle school in Japan, and learned to speak fluently once he arrived in the U.S. Photo by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images." expand=1]Ichiro Suzuki only studied English through middle school in Japan, and learned to speak fluently once he arrived in the U.S. Photo by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images.

13. The most devastating cut-fastball in the Major League history? That stays in Panama, and really, who cares?

[rebelmouse-image 19474062 dam="1" original_size="700x481" caption="Mariano Rivera didn't speak a word of English and had never flown before coming to pitch for the Yankees in 1990. Photo by Jeff Carlick/Getty Images." expand=1]Mariano Rivera didn't speak a word of English and had never flown before coming to pitch for the Yankees in 1990. Photo by Jeff Carlick/Getty Images.

14. No one, that's who. Nor should anyone care about 608 gloriously struck home runs.

[rebelmouse-image 19474063 dam="1" original_size="700x463" caption="Albert Pujols moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic when he was 16 and learned English in high school. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images." expand=1]Albert Pujols moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic when he was 16 and learned English in high school. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.

15. Come to think of it, the accomplishments of, like, 30% of all baseball players and the countless hours of bonding opportunities for parents and kids from Pacific Northwest to Miami they provide are just not that essential, honestly.

David Ortiz, Masahiro Tanaka, and Yasiel Puig repping Boston, New York and L.A. Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images; Stephen Lam/Getty Images; Harry How/Getty Images.

16. Nor is this suspiciously low-effort dunk.

17. Nor, really, are lettuce, tomatoes, oranges, garlic, apples, lemons, cherries, corn, peaches, broccoli, plums, Swiss chard, watermelons, scallions, cranberries, parsley, and nectarines essential to our lives.

[rebelmouse-image 19474066 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="According to a Pew Research Center study, over 40% of farm workers in some states are undocumented. Estimates peg the total share of foreign-born farm workers between 70% and 90%. Photo by David McNew/Getty Images." expand=1]According to a Pew Research Center study, over 40% of farm workers in some states are undocumented. Estimates peg the total share of foreign-born farm workers between 70% and 90%. Photo by David McNew/Getty Images.

18. Or railroads that carry freight and Amish people across the country.

[rebelmouse-image 19474067 dam="1" original_size="700x468" caption="Thousands of Chinese immigrant laborers helped build America's rail network. Photo by Loco Steve/Flickr." expand=1]Thousands of Chinese immigrant laborers helped build America's rail network. Photo by Loco Steve/Flickr.

19. Or pastrami sandwiches.

Thanks, Yiddish-speakers! Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

20. Or chicken parmesan.

[rebelmouse-image 19474069 dam="1" original_size="700x464" caption="Thanks, Neopolitan-speakers! Photo by jeffreyw/Flickr." expand=1]Thanks, Neopolitan-speakers! Photo by jeffreyw/Flickr.

21. Or P.F. Chang's ... and much of modern Chinese cuisine.

[rebelmouse-image 19474070 dam="1" original_size="700x562" caption="Cecilia Chang "spoke little English" when she immigrated to San Francisco in the '60s. She went on to introduce Americans to a variety of classic Chinese dishes. Her son Philip co-founded P.F. Chang's in 1993. Photo by M.O. Stevens/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]Cecilia Chang "spoke little English" when she immigrated to San Francisco in the '60s. She went on to introduce Americans to a variety of classic Chinese dishes. Her son Philip co-founded P.F. Chang's in 1993. Photo by M.O. Stevens/Wikimedia Commons.

22. Or nearly a quarter of the soldiers who fought to end slavery and establish the modern United States.

Immigrants speaking weird languages helped save the union. Photo via Library of Congress/Getty Images.

23. Or the military strategy that helped us win our independence in the first place.

Pictured: French General and noted code word Rochambeau and Marquis de Lafayette, Lancelot of the revolutionary set. Photo via Hulton Archive.

As the Founders said 261 years ago on that fateful July day in Independence Hall: "Meh, being British wouldn't be so bad!"

Non-native English speakers have been propping up, improving, and straight-up saving this country since (actual) day one.

The language you speak when you land in a new country doesn't predict how valuable an American you can be, and never did.

Immigrants, whether they can recite "The Wanderings of Oisin" from memory or can't read a children's book, are the lifeblood of this country.

Instead of slamming the door in their face, we should be thanking them for what they gave us.

Including America.

Health

4 simple hacks to help you meet your healthy eating goals

Trying to eat healthier? Try these 4 totally doable tricks.

Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Most of us want to eat healthier but need some help to make it happen.

True

When it comes to choosing what to eat, we live in a uniquely challenging era. Never before have humans known more about nutrition and how to eat for optimal health, and yet we’ve never been more surrounded by distractions and temptations that derail us from making healthy choices.

Some people might be able to decide “I’m going to eat healthier!” and do so without any problem, but those folks are unicorns. Most of us know what we should do, but need a little help making it happen—like some simple hacks, tips and tricks for avoiding pitfalls on the road to healthier eating.

While recognizing that what works for one person may not work for another, here are some helpful habits and approaches that might help you move closer to your healthy eating goals.

man pulling chip out of a chip bagOur mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

Goal: Snack on less junk food

Tip: Focus your willpower on the grocery store, not your home

Willpower is a limited commodity for most of us, and it is no match for a bag of potato chips sitting on top of the fridge. It’s just a fact. Channeling your willpower at the grocery store can save you from having to fight that battle at home. If you don’t bring chips into your house in the first place, you’ll find it a lot easier to reach for something healthier.

The key to successful shopping trips is to always go to the store with a specific list and a full stomach—you’ll feel much less tempted to buy the junky snack foods if you’re already satiated. Also, finding healthier alternatives that will still satisfy your cravings for salty or crunchy, or fatty foods helps. Sugar snap peas have a surprisingly satisfying crunch, apples and nut butter hit that sweet-and-salty craving, etc.

slice of cakeYou can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by Caitlyn de Wild on Unsplash

Goal: Eat less sugar

Tip: Instead of “deprive,” think “delay” or “decrease and delight”

Sugar is a tricky one. Some people find it easier to cut out added sugars altogether, but that can create an all-or-nothing mindset that all too often results in “all.” Eating more whole foods and less processed foods can help us cut out a lot of ancillary sugar, but we still live in a world with birthday cakes and dessert courses.

One approach to dessert temptation is to delay instead of deprive. Tell yourself you can have any sweet you want…tomorrow. This mental trick flips the “I’ll just indulge today and start eating healthier tomorrow” idea on its head. It’s a lot easier to resist something you know you can have tomorrow than to say no to something you think you’ll never get to have again.

Another approach when you really want to enjoy a dessert at that moment is to decrease the amount and really truly savor it. Eat each bite slowly, delighting in the full taste and satisfaction of it. As soon as that delight starts to diminish, even a little, stop eating. You’ve gotten what you wanted out of it. You don’t have to finish it. (After all, you can always have more tomorrow!)

colorful fresh food on a plateA naturally colorful meal is a healthy meal.Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Goal: Eat healthier meals

Tip: Focus on fresh foods and plan meals ahead of time

Meal planning is easier than ever before. The internet is filled with countless tools—everything from recipes to shopping lists to meal planning apps—and it’s as awesome as it is overwhelming.

Planning ahead takes the guesswork and decision fatigue out of cooking, preventing the inevitable “Let’s just order a pizza.” You can have a repeating 3-week or 4-week menu of your favorite meals so you never have to think about what you’re going to eat, or you can meal plan once a week to try new recipes and keep things fresh.

It might help to designate one day a week to “shop and chop”—getting and prepping the ingredients for the week’s meals so they’re ready to go in your fridge or freezer.

woman holding blueberries in her handsOrganic foods are better for the Earth and for us.Photo by andrew welch on Unsplash

Goal: Eat more organic/humanely raised food

Tip: Utilize the “dirty dozen” and “clean 15” lists to prioritize

Many people choose organic because they want to avoid pesticides and other potentially harmful chemicals. Organic food is also better for the planet, and according to the Mayo Clinic, studies have shown that organic produce is higher in certain nutrients.

Most people don’t buy everything organic, but there are some foods that should take priority over others. Each year, researchers from the Environmental Working Group (EWG) analyze thousands of samples of dozens of fruits and vegetables. From this data, they create a list of the “Dirty Dozen” and “Clean 15” fruits and vegetables, indicating what produce has the most and least pesticide residue. These lists give people a good place to start focusing their transition to more organic foods.

To make organic eating even simpler, you can shop O Organics® at your local Albertsons or Safeway stores. The O Organics brand offers a wide range of affordable USDA-certified organic products in every aisle. If you’re focusing on fresh foods, O Organics produce is always grown without synthetic pesticides, is farmed to conserve biodiversity, and is always non-GMO. All animal-based O Organics products are certified humane as well. Even switching part of your grocery list to organic can make a positive impact on the planet and the people you feed.

Healthy eating habits don’t have to be all or nothing, and they don’t have to be complicated. A few simple mindset changes at home and habit changes at the grocery store can make a big difference.

Around 1 a.m. on April 24, semi-truck drivers in the Oak Park area of Michigan received a distress call from area police: An unidentified man was standing on the edge of a local bridge, apparently ready to jump onto the freeway below.

Those drivers then did something amazing. They raced to the scene to help — and lined up their trucks under the bridge, providing a relatively safe landing space should the man jump.

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Joy

Woman's explanation of 'girl math' has some scratching their heads while others nod along

In so many ways it makes a lot of sense...if you don't think about how nonsensical it is.

Woman's explanation of 'girl math' has some people confused

If you've been on any social media platform lately then you've likely heard about the different types of math. No not the one that makes 80s babies cry (otherwise known as common core), but the silly "math" like "boy math" or "girl math." Each explanation more ridiculous than the next while some take on a more serious tone, it's the silly ones that keep people wanting more.

Kelley Lorraine posted a video of her sitting in the car with her husband as she tries to explain "girl math" to him. It didn't take long for him to express confusion, many times interjecting with questions and audible noises of disproval. What was interesting to me was that everything she said made perfect sense...as long as you don't think about it too much.

Kelley's version of "girl math" had to be one of the most oxymoronic-nonsensical-logical reasoning that's ever been explained for this "math" challenge.

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Angelina Jordan blew everyone away with her version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody."

At Upworthy, we've shared a lot of memorable "America's Got Talent" auditions, from physics-defying dance performances to jaw-dropping magic acts to heart-wrenching singer-songwriter stories. Now we're adding Angelina Jordan's "AGT: The Champions" audition to the list because wow.

Jordan came to "AGT: The Champions" in 2020 as the winner of Norway's Got Talent, which she won in 2014 at the mere age of 7 with her impressive ability to seemingly channel Billie Holiday. For the 2020 audition, she sang Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody," but a version that no one had ever heard before.

With just her Amy Winehouse-ish voice, a guitar and a piano, Jordan brought the fan-favorite Queen anthem down to a smooth, melancholy ballad that's simply riveting to listen to.

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Joy

Jimmy Carter's former talent handler shares a sweet story about him meeting a young girl

The way Carter interacted with the second grader exemplifies the 99-year-old former president's genuine care and kindness.

Jimmy Carter has grown to become one of the most beloved former presidents in history.

Jimmy Carter turned 99 years old on October 1, 2023, with people from around the world paying tribute to the longest-living former president. Carter has been in hospice for the past 7 months, and as he nears the end of his long life, people are sharing their personal stories involving the man known for his decades of humanitarian, peace-building work after leaving the White House.

One story comes from Noel Casler, a comedian and talent handler who has worked with many celebrities and public figures. He took to X (formerly Twitter) to share an encounter he witnessed between Jimmy Carter and a young girl at the Goodwill Games.

"When I was Prez Carter’s talent handler it was the Goodwill Games in NYC. When Carter arrived I was to take him to [the] stage to join Ted Turner, Gov Pataki, Gerald Levin & Giuliani to kick off the event," he began.

On their way to the stage, Casler shared, a young girl who was a standout inner-city school student in around the second grade approached President Carter to say hello.

"You would have thought the world stopped for Jimmy Carter," Casler wrote. "He knelt down to look her in the eyes and began a long series of questions about the subjects she was studying, what her favorites were." When she said math and science were her among her favorites, Carter "lit up."

But what showcases Carter's caring personality is the way he treated her.

"He smiled and acted as if she was the only person there," Casler explained. "The thing is he didn't talk to her like she was a kid. There wasn't condescension of any air of I'm an ex-Prez wan a pic to show off."

"It was one man talking to the future generations and coming from a place of deep empathy, compassion and care for how we leave this planet and the lives of those upon it. Faith in action."

Casler wrote that he got nervous when they started calling for Carter to head to the stage, but the former president was "chill."

People frequently cite Carter's humility and compassion for others as highlights of his post-presidency legacy, and this interaction showcases those qualities beautifully.

Casler also expounded on Carter's ability to talk to anyone with ease.

"I’ve seen him on other occasions speak with full authority on the magic of Chuck Leavell’s left hand & hanging with the Allman Brothers. Carter is a renaissance man if ever there was one but his greatest gift is the example of how he lives in life," he wrote. "Happy 99th President Carter."

People loved reading this simple, personal story about a man who will leave the world with many such examples of his care and attention to whoever was in front of him.

"This is such a wonderful thread about a very special, compassionate man," wrote Nancy Sinatra. "Thank you, Noel. Thank you."

"Exactly who Jimmy Carter is," shared Jody Dean. "Once interviewed him and Ernie Banks on the same day. President Carter sat before Banks in our green room, listening to Ernie in rapt attention. An 8-year-old with a signed Ernie Banks baseball card could not have beamed more brightly."

"Jimmy Carter is the best human being to ever be president and it was honestly mean of us to make him do that," wrote Hunter Felt.

"Thank you, Noel, for this heartrending tribute. Carter is a jewel and remembering him always lifts my sagging spirits." shared Marina Margetts.

Happy 99th, Jimmy Carter, the former U.S. president whose legacy of human kindness and compassion will endure long after he leaves us.

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Marty and Jess Ansen have spent nearly 500 days onboard Princess Cruise Lines

For many, if not most of us, the purpose of retirement is to sit back and enjoy life. A chance to see the world, take up new hobbies, explore what it means to simply exist without having to clock in.

So it’s almost no wonder that more and more retirees are finding themselves on cruise ships, where relaxation, adventure (and having someone else do your chores) are the name of the game.

Retired Australian couple Marty and Jess Ansen can certainly attest to this—having spent close to 500 days sailing around the world on their 51 back-to-back cruises.

That’s right. 51 cruises. Back. To. Back.

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Family

12 hilariously relatable comics about life as a new mom.

Embarrassing stains on your T-shirt, sniffing someone's bum to check if they have pooped, the first time having sex post-giving birth — as a new mom, your life turns upside-down.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

Some good not so good moments with babies.



Embarrassing stains on your T-shirt, sniffing someone's bum to check if they have pooped, the first time having sex post-giving birth — as a new mom, your life turns upside-down.

Illustrator Ingebritt ter Veld and Corinne de Vries, who works for Hippe-Birth Cards, a webshop for birth announcements, had babies shortly after one another.

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