23 things non-English-speaking immigrants gave us that we totally don't need. Not at all.

Shop
 Explore 

In a press conference Aug. 2, President Trump announced his support for a new immigration system that would "favor applicants who speak English."

Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

And not a moment too soon.

It's high time foreigners stop coming here with their funny accents, broken sentences, and inability to read the complete works of Marcel Proust, mucking things up for the rest of us.

Naysayers, of course, will note that — regardless of their English skills — immigrants are notstealing American jobs; they're simply doing different ones. And that they commit crime at lower rates than native born Americans. And that Proust is French.

But, really, that's all besides Trump's point, which is that this is America. We speak English, and damn it, we speak English in America.

"But what," the naysayers may continue naysaying, "about all the myriad diverse, essential contributions from non-native-English-speaking immigrants to our national economy, culture, and idea throughout history that have shaped and continue to shape our way of life?"

Simple.

Don't need 'em!

1. Who really needs to Google anything ever?

Douchey glasses aside, Google co-founder Sergey Brin was born in Russia, speaking Russian. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

2. Or look anything up on Yahoo. Who needs web search these days?

[rebelmouse-image 19474051 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Jerry Yang reportedly only knew one word of English when he moved to the U.S. in 1968. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images." expand=1]Jerry Yang reportedly only knew one word of English when he moved to the U.S. in 1968. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

3. The Pulitzer Prize? Named after a German-speaking immigrant? No big. Don't need an award for fake news anyway.

[rebelmouse-image 19474052 dam="1" original_size="700x899" caption="Lookin' at you, Joey Pulitzer. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images." expand=1]Lookin' at you, Joey Pulitzer. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

4. Speaking of German-speaking immigrants, we could also take or leave the atomic bomb, to be honest.

I'm sure everything would have been fine if pioneering nuclear physicist Albert Einstein had stayed in Germany. Photo via Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

5. And blue jeans.

[rebelmouse-image 19474054 dam="1" original_size="700x502" caption="Levi Strauss spoke German and invented America's pant. Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr." expand=1]Levi Strauss spoke German and invented America's pant. Photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

6. Definitely wouldn't be too tragic to lose the entire English-language filmography of Antonio Banderas.

[rebelmouse-image 19474055 dam="1" original_size="700x898" caption="Banderas learned his lines phonetically when starting out in Hollywood. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images." expand=1]Banderas learned his lines phonetically when starting out in Hollywood. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

7. Or "That 70s Show," "Family Guy," and all those weirdly sensual Jim Beam commercials.

[rebelmouse-image 19474056 dam="1" original_size="700x428" caption="Mila Kunis moved to the U.S. from Ukraine and learned English during her first year in school. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images." expand=1]Mila Kunis moved to the U.S. from Ukraine and learned English during her first year in school. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

8. And we could easily do with out all 137 Terminator movies — and eight years of oversight for our largest state economy — too.

[rebelmouse-image 19474057 dam="1" original_size="700x575" caption="Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Austrian musculature spoke only "a little English" when they arrived here in 1968. Photo by AFP/Getty Images." expand=1]Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Austrian musculature spoke only "a little English" when they arrived here in 1968. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

9. "God Bless America" is really an overrated song that we don't need.

[rebelmouse-image 19474058 dam="1" original_size="700x535" caption="Russian-born Irving Berlin also wrote "White Christmas," which is also overrated. Photo by Henry Guttmann/Getty Images." expand=1]Russian-born Irving Berlin also wrote "White Christmas," which is also overrated. Photo by Henry Guttmann/Getty Images.

10. Come to think of it, so is "Jump."

Eddie Van Halen is Dutch! Who knew? Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

11. And Budweiser beer isn't iconically American at all (regardless of how it tastes).

[rebelmouse-image 19474060 dam="1" original_size="700x525" caption="That goopy Super Bowl ad was right about Adolphus Busch trudging from Germany to the U.S. to invent the world's most medium beer. Photo by Dorisall/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]That goopy Super Bowl ad was right about Adolphus Busch trudging from Germany to the U.S. to invent the world's most medium beer. Photo by Dorisall/Wikimedia Commons.

12. A combined 3,060 singles, doubles, triples, and home runs over 16 years playing America's pastime? Take it or leave it.

[rebelmouse-image 19474061 dam="1" original_size="700x585" caption="Ichiro Suzuki only studied English through middle school in Japan, and learned to speak fluently once he arrived in the U.S. Photo by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images." expand=1]Ichiro Suzuki only studied English through middle school in Japan, and learned to speak fluently once he arrived in the U.S. Photo by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images.

13. The most devastating cut-fastball in the Major League history? That stays in Panama, and really, who cares?

[rebelmouse-image 19474062 dam="1" original_size="700x481" caption="Mariano Rivera didn't speak a word of English and had never flown before coming to pitch for the Yankees in 1990. Photo by Jeff Carlick/Getty Images." expand=1]Mariano Rivera didn't speak a word of English and had never flown before coming to pitch for the Yankees in 1990. Photo by Jeff Carlick/Getty Images.

14. No one, that's who. Nor should anyone care about 608 gloriously struck home runs.

[rebelmouse-image 19474063 dam="1" original_size="700x463" caption="Albert Pujols moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic when he was 16 and learned English in high school. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images." expand=1]Albert Pujols moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic when he was 16 and learned English in high school. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.

15. Come to think of it, the accomplishments of, like, 30% of all baseball players and the countless hours of bonding opportunities for parents and kids from Pacific Northwest to Miami they provide are just not that essential, honestly.

David Ortiz, Masahiro Tanaka, and Yasiel Puig repping Boston, New York and L.A. Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images; Stephen Lam/Getty Images; Harry How/Getty Images.

16. Nor is this suspiciously low-effort dunk.

17. Nor, really, are lettuce, tomatoes, oranges, garlic, apples, lemons, cherries, corn, peaches, broccoli, plums, Swiss chard, watermelons, scallions, cranberries, parsley, and nectarines essential to our lives.

[rebelmouse-image 19474066 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="According to a Pew Research Center study, over 40% of farm workers in some states are undocumented. Estimates peg the total share of foreign-born farm workers between 70% and 90%. Photo by David McNew/Getty Images." expand=1]According to a Pew Research Center study, over 40% of farm workers in some states are undocumented. Estimates peg the total share of foreign-born farm workers between 70% and 90%. Photo by David McNew/Getty Images.

18. Or railroads that carry freight and Amish people across the country.

[rebelmouse-image 19474067 dam="1" original_size="700x468" caption="Thousands of Chinese immigrant laborers helped build America's rail network. Photo by Loco Steve/Flickr." expand=1]Thousands of Chinese immigrant laborers helped build America's rail network. Photo by Loco Steve/Flickr.

19. Or pastrami sandwiches.

Thanks, Yiddish-speakers! Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

20. Or chicken parmesan.

[rebelmouse-image 19474069 dam="1" original_size="700x464" caption="Thanks, Neopolitan-speakers! Photo by jeffreyw/Flickr." expand=1]Thanks, Neopolitan-speakers! Photo by jeffreyw/Flickr.

21. Or P.F. Chang's ... and much of modern Chinese cuisine.

[rebelmouse-image 19474070 dam="1" original_size="700x562" caption="Cecilia Chang "spoke little English" when she immigrated to San Francisco in the '60s. She went on to introduce Americans to a variety of classic Chinese dishes. Her son Philip co-founded P.F. Chang's in 1993. Photo by M.O. Stevens/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]Cecilia Chang "spoke little English" when she immigrated to San Francisco in the '60s. She went on to introduce Americans to a variety of classic Chinese dishes. Her son Philip co-founded P.F. Chang's in 1993. Photo by M.O. Stevens/Wikimedia Commons.

22. Or nearly a quarter of the soldiers who fought to end slavery and establish the modern United States.

Immigrants speaking weird languages helped save the union. Photo via Library of Congress/Getty Images.

23. Or the military strategy that helped us win our independence in the first place.

Pictured: French General and noted code word Rochambeau and Marquis de Lafayette, Lancelot of the revolutionary set. Photo via Hulton Archive.

As the Founders said 261 years ago on that fateful July day in Independence Hall: "Meh, being British wouldn't be so bad!"

Non-native English speakers have been propping up, improving, and straight-up saving this country since (actual) day one.

The language you speak when you land in a new country doesn't predict how valuable an American you can be, and never did.

Immigrants, whether they can recite "The Wanderings of Oisin" from memory or can't read a children's book, are the lifeblood of this country.

Instead of slamming the door in their face, we should be thanking them for what they gave us.

Including America.

Pop Culture

Tired of 'hacks?' Here are 20 of the best life tips sourced from 21.9 million real people.

All of them are simple and practical. A few might just change your life.

via Arjun Mahadevan/Twitter

Arjun Mahadevan's life pro tip Twitter thread

Arjun Mahadevan gave the world a gift when he crowdsourced the best “life pro tips” from nearly 22 million people. He shared the top 20 in a Twitter thread that’s got over 619,000 views. Mahadevan sourced the tips from the Life Pro Tips subforum on Reddit, which has been running since 2010.

Mahadevan is the CEO of doolaHQ which he calls the “business-in-a-box” for LLCs.

Mahadevan labeled his advice “20 life tips you wish you knew when you were 20,” but they are helpful for everyone regardless of age. They’re useful for anyone who is in a relationship, has a job or wants to stay sane in an aggravating world.

Keep ReadingShow less

life advice

Science

Fascinating video shows how an orangutan mom learned to nurse from a breastfeeding zookeeper

Zoe had been orphaned at a young age and hadn't developed her maternal instincts.

Metro Richmond Zoo/Youtube

Just two new moms helping each other.

Whitlee Turner, a zookeeper for the Metro Richmond Zoo in Virginia, was given a unique task—teach an orangutan to breastfeed.

Turner’s pupil, Zoe, had been orphaned at a young age, and without guidance presumably hadn’t learned any maternal instincts. Zoe’s first baby had to be hand-raised after she was unable to nurse, so when baby #2 came around, the zoo was determined to reach a different outcome.

That’s why they called on Turner, who had coincidentally also become a new mom. Thinking Zoe could be taught by example—a strategy that’s proven successful in the past—Turner was asked to bring her newborn son, Caleb, in to give a demonstration.

Turner agreed wholeheartedly.

Keep ReadingShow less

video

Identity

New Yorkers rallied around nervous autistic man left alone in the subway until he got home safely

He was waiting for a cousin who never showed up.

via Susan Sermoneta/Flickr

A subway station at 59th street in New York City.

New Yorkers may seem like a brash, uncaring bunch to the uninitiated. But when you get to know the people and the city, you’ll probably realize that they are “kind, but not nice,” as opposed to how many describe people on the West Coast as “nice, but not kind.”

A great example of New Yorkers looking out for one another happened on Reddit’s AskNYC subforum earlier this month. AskNYC is where New Yorkers consult one another on various topics, such as where to get cheap rent, subway shortcuts, and places to volunteer.

It all started when a Redditor named Andy, 21, who is autistic , reached out for help in a post titled, “Please help, where do I wait.” On the forum he goes by the name GalacticBambi. Andy is a native New Yorker who moved away at a young age. His father passed away two years ago, so he came back to the Big Apple to see his cousin and learn more about his father.

Keep ReadingShow less

kindness of strangers

Joy

Basketball referee has an emotional reunion with the player who saved his life on the court

Not many people survive a "widow maker," but thanks to the player's quick actions, this ref lived to call another game.

YouTube

Basketball referee reunites with player who saved his life.

There are some things people are never quite prepared to experience, and a heart attack is high on that list. Semi-pro basketball referee John Sculli found himself on the receiving end of an unexpected heart attack, right in the middle of reffing a game.

Sculli was keenly watching the game between Toledo Glass City and the Jamestown Jackals when he went from following the players down the court to sprawled out on the ground. He was quickly surrounded by other referees, but his fall got the attention of Myles Copeland, who recognized Sculli was unresponsive and immediately began CPR.

"I had never witnessed someone just collapse, but I knew what had to be done," Copeland told CBS.

Turns out Copeland wasn't just a basketball player, he was also a firefighter, and his quick actions saved Sculli's life. Doctors told the referee and his fiancé, Donna, that he had a "widow maker" heart attack, which is often fatal. So when the two men got a chance to reconnect with Donna in tow, emotions ran high and CBS caught it on video.

Keep ReadingShow less

referee heart attack

Family

Mom has the perfect hack for pesky stomach bugs that can make cleaning beds a non-issue

She calls it the "puke bed" and it's genius.

Lovedthishatedthat|TikTok

No more cleaning mattresses. Mom has a hack for stomach bugs.

Whether you have kids or plan to have kids in the future, you should know that you're going to clean up someone else's bodily fluids and waste. It's just a fact of caring for small children. In fact, you can almost guarantee that you're going to clean up vomit that exits a tiny person's body with more force than you knew possible. Is it fun? No. Does it help that kids are cute and just want cuddles when they're not feeling well? Absolutely.

There are all kinds of tips and tricks to make your little ones feel better during cootie season, which can sometimes feel year-round. Some people swear by homeopathic preventions and remedies while others stock up on vitamin C. But outside of Pedialyte popsicles and keeping a bucket nearby hoping for the best, there's not really a trick to surviving the dreaded stomach bug.

Except, maybe there is. A mom who runs the TikTok account @lovedthishatedthat may have just cracked the code to surviving those long nights when your kid has a stomach bug: an inflatable bed.

Keep ReadingShow less

mom hacks

23 things non-English-speaking immigrants gave us that we totally don't need. Not at all.

In a press conference Aug. 2, President Trump announced his support for a new immigration system that would "favor applicants who speak English."

But, really, that's all besides Trump's point, which is that this is America. We speak English, and damn it, we speak English in America.

1. Who really needs to Google anything ever?

2. Or look anything up on Yahoo. Who needs web search these days?

3. The Pulitzer Prize? Named after a German-speaking immigrant? No big. Don't need an award for fake news anyway.

4. Speaking of German-speaking immigrants, we could also take or leave the atomic bomb, to be honest.

5. And blue jeans.

6. Definitely wouldn't be too tragic to lose the entire English-language filmography of Antonio Banderas.

7. Or "That 70s Show," "Family Guy," and all those weirdly sensual Jim Beam commercials.

8. And we could easily do with out all 137 Terminator movies — and eight years of oversight for our largest state economy — too.

9. "God Bless America" is really an overrated song that we don't need.

10. Come to think of it, so is "Jump."

11. And Budweiser beer isn't iconically American at all (regardless of how it tastes).

12. A combined 3,060 singles, doubles, triples, and home runs over 16 years playing America's pastime? Take it or leave it.

13. The most devastating cut-fastball in the Major League history? That stays in Panama, and really, who cares?

14. No one, that's who. Nor should anyone care about 608 gloriously struck home runs.

15. Come to think of it, the accomplishments of, like, 30% of all baseball players and the countless hours of bonding opportunities for parents and kids from Pacific Northwest to Miami they provide are just not that essential, honestly.

16. Nor is this suspiciously low-effort dunk.

17. Nor, really, are lettuce, tomatoes, oranges, garlic, apples, lemons, cherries, corn, peaches, broccoli, plums, Swiss chard, watermelons, scallions, cranberries, parsley, and nectarines essential to our lives.

18. Or railroads that carry freight and Amish people across the country.

19. Or pastrami sandwiches.

20. Or chicken parmesan.

21. Or P.F. Chang's ... and much of modern Chinese cuisine.

22. Or nearly a quarter of the soldiers who fought to end slavery and establish the modern United States.

23. Or the military strategy that helped us win our independence in the first place.

Non-native English speakers have been propping up, improving, and straight-up saving this country since (actual) day one.

All of them are simple and practical. A few might just change your life.

Zoe had been orphaned at a young age and hadn't developed her maternal instincts.

“I don’t know that I have ever heard a celebrity talk about a hot flash in the moment. Thank you for being so real."

He was waiting for a cousin who never showed up.

Not many people survive a "widow maker," but thanks to the player's quick actions, this ref lived to call another game.

She calls it the "puke bed" and it's genius.