2 years ago, I had the spotlight for being a good dad. My message would be different now.
Does becoming famous for fatherhood actually help fatherhood?
In late 2013, a simple fatherhood moment changed my life forever.
I was working in corporate America and took paternity leave to bond with my three-month-old daughter (my second child). One morning, my wife was worried about being late for work while she was in the middle of wrangling my older daughter's wild hair.
While changing my baby's diaper in the other room, I simply told her, "Go ahead, I got this."
Skeptical that I would be able to keep the baby happy while simultaneously playing the role of hairstylist, my wife looked at me and said, "I'll believe it when I see it," and she went off to work.
After she left, I set my camera on its timer, took this photo, and emailed it to her.
A simple photo ended up being not so simple after all.
We both got a good chuckle out of the photo, but once I shared it with the public a few hours later, everything changed.
Once I put the photo on social media, people lost their minds — and the reactions were predictable.
Some thought I was the sexiest dad alive, some threw racial slurs my way, some thought I was cool for demonstrating what fatherhood looks like, and some wondered why a guy who takes care of his kids is trending on their news feeds.
Sure, it was a cute photo, but was it really that big of a deal? I received my answer when mainstream media found it a few weeks later, in January 2014.
Before I could blink, the heavy hitters contacted me to discuss "the photo."
The "Today" show.
Giving Al Roker a shoulder rub on national television was, um, interesting. GIF from the "Today" show.
"Good Morning America."
I'm not a fan of the "Mr. Mom" label at all. Image from "Good Morning America."
HLN.
Fist bumps to the dads of the world who take their jobs seriously. GIF from HLN.
Katie Couric.
Being interviewed by Katie Couric was great, but did it really help? Photo from "Katie."
And dozens more.
It was quite a whirlwind. But it was a conversation I had with a female college student on a flight home from one of those interviews that really made me think.
"I'm sure you had a message to share while you experienced all of the viral stuff," she said. "Do you think it was heard?"
Good question.
Any idiot can be interviewed on national television, but few can use that opportunity to make a lasting, positive difference.
Was I one of those idiots? Or did I move the conversation forward about what it means to be a modern dad in America?
I still don't have the answer two years later, but I realized it's more important to focus on the future instead.
So here are three simple things I want for fatherhood in 2016 and beyond.
1. We have to raise the bar for what it means to be a good dad.
Men expecting props for handling rudimentary child-rearing tasks are no different than men expecting props for staying out of jail. Because as Chris Rock once said, we're supposed to stay out jail, and we're supposed to take care of our kids.
That's right, Chris. GIF from the HBO special "Bring the Pain."
Most moms aren't asking for statues to be erected in their honor for taking their kids to the park, giving their babies baths, or waking up in the middle of the night to comfort their children. And neither should any dad.
It's very simple. If we see a dad doing something adorable with his children, we should pause and ask ourselves this important question: "Would I offer praise to a mom for doing the same thing?" If the answer is yes, then fire away. If the answer is no, then it's probably a good idea to keep it to ourselves.
Any idiot can be interviewed on national television, but few can use that opportunity to make a lasting, positive difference. Was I one of those idiots? Or did I move the conversation forward about what it means to be a modern dad in America?
2. Let good dads be good dads.
In my experiences, the one thing that new dads complain about the most is being unable to interact with their kids in their own unique way.
Maybe he is provided pointers on how to brush his daughter's teeth when he really doesn't need them.
Because sometimes personal hygiene takes teamwork. Photo from the Daddy Doin' Work Instagram feed, used with permission.
Or maybe his Neanderthal buddies poke fun at him for choosing to open his "daddy nail salon" for his daughter instead of opening a few beers at the local sports bar.
That is one happy customer. Photo from the Daddy Doin' Work Instagram feed, used with permission.
Either way, it isn't OK.
These guys are doing their best to navigate through challenges of fatherhood and shouldn't be demotivated. Just because the way we (dads) do things isn't the way others may choose to do them doesn't make it wrong. It makes it different.
3. I want people to look at my photo and think it's not a big deal.
Right now, there are thousands of dads across the globe doing something infinitely more difficult, cooler, or heartwarming than what I did that morning. We change diapers, we can braid our daughters' hair, and we are always there physically, emotionally, and spiritually for our children.
But here's more good news: If a photo similar to mine made the rounds on social media today, I doubt it would create such a stir. That's because it's not only cool to be a good dad, but it's expected to be one.
Gone are the days when a dude can get away with believing his fatherhood responsibilities begin and end with bringing home a nice paycheck. Fatherhood is evolving because we're finally demanding more of the men who are responsible for raising our kids — and that's the way it should be.
Now when we discuss viral fatherhood experiences, it will mean dealing with the flu bug that our kids shared with us.
And I highly doubt that will trend on social media.
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids…
Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros. 
Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie?
A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain. Photo by 
Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
Ladybug unexpectedly found during colonoscopyPhoto credit: 
Close-up of bottom of ladybug found in colonPhoto credit: 
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."