Rip Off Your Pants And Rejoice! There's Absolutely Nothing Wrong With Your Thighs!

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Ya know what? Our bodies have kinda gotten a raw deal in the media. We're constantly being told that they should look one way, but then we're supposed to feel bad when they just do what they naturally do! Case in point: cellulite. Most of what we hear about cellulite is completely untrue! So if you've ever needed a reason to stop worrying about your body's wrinkles and dimples, this lady has five, just for you.

Side note: This video focuses on how cellulite differs between cisgender men's and women's bodies and inadvertently leaves out others on the gender and sexuality spectrum. So, just a friendly reminder that while lots of cis women have cellulite, they aren't the only ones, and it's still totally cool and not a big deal to have it.

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Narrator: Fact about yours truly, I have cellulite, specifically in the upper thigh region and you know what? I don't care. I'm going to give you five reasons why if you're like me and also have cellulite, you shouldn't care either. It is high time for this baloney battle against cellulite to stop because scientifically, it's unwinnable.

Reason number one to stop caring about cellulite, 90% of women have it, as in 90% of women of all shapes and sizes have it. Why do women's magazine's treat is as though it's some kind of abnormality or problem that only unfit women have? That is a big old bowl of cottage cheese -- cellulite reference.

Which brings us to reason number two to stop caring about cellulite, which is that it is so common among women that many dermatologists actually consider it a female secondary sex trait influenced by estrogen, which also helps gives us things like breasts, larger hips and comparatively smaller hands and feet than men who, due to that estrogen factor, usually do not get cellulite.

This brings us to reason number three to stop caring about cellulite, which is that it's not so much fat that's the problem but the way that female connective tissue underneath our skin is structured differently than men's connective tissue. If you were to take a slice out of my arm and put it under a microscope, first of all, ouch. Second of all, you will see my epidermis, skin, followed by the dermis, and then fat cells all jammed up within parallel layers of connective tissue.

That vertical column structure of female connective tissue is key to cellulite formation because it allows fat cells to push in between those columns and form the dimpled appearance of cellulite. Male connective tissue actually forms more of a basket weave that doesn't allow as much fat to poke through, thus keeping men's skin looking all smooth and whatnot.

Hence, reason number four to stop caring about cellulite, which is there is no cure for cellulite outside of fundamentally changing the structure of female connective tissue underneath our skin, which, no, a spa treatment can't do that. The only thing that it can do, at most, is temporarily cause your skin tissues to swell, thus, reducing the appearance of those dimples.

Repeat after me. There is no cure for cellulite. It's like the common cold or the anatomical features. It's annoying a little bit, but we can't cure it. If women could embrace the fact that there is no cure for cellulite, we could have saved, in 2008, the $47 million that we spent in cellulite related products. At the very most. researchers found that women who use cellulite related products see a 25% to 50% improvement in cellulite appearance but that some women, it is only 25% to 50% improvement in appearance.

Finally, the fifth reason why you should stop worrying about cellulite, is that even if you get rid of the fat cells that are often deemed the culprit of it, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to magically get rid of the appearance of cellulite. It's not just fat at work underneath your skin causing that dimpled appearance, it's also things like the distribution of the fat and the thickness or thinness of your skin, which is, on a large part, determined by your genes. You cannot exercise your genes away.

Take, for example, this recent headline at, "Weight loss found to reduce cellulite in some overweight women, worsen the condition in others." Now, it is true that sometimes losing weight, getting rid of those additional fat cells, can reduce the appearance of cellulite but in terms of banishing it, as we're often told in women's magazines and elsewhere to do, it's completely impossible.

You know what would be an honest tagline for cellulite? Ladies, who cares? There are more important things to worry about and if you got it, it's probably a lot to do with you genes. And even if you have it, you can't get rid of it. It's incurable, and 90% of women have it. So, stop worrying about it so much. It's a bit of a clunky tagline, but there is one big thing that cellulite havers like myself can banish and that is insecurity and panic over cellulite by empowering ourselves with scientific knowledge.

Take it from me. I don't care anymore what the back of my thighs looks like, and honestly, neither should you.

There may be small errors in this transcript.

This video comes from Stuff Mom Never Told You, which not only has a funny and smart YouTube channel about the science and sociology of the differences between ladies and gents, but also a funny and smart podcast that examines that stuff too!

Jun 18, 2014

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